【Big Fish】习作-3.1 Argument169-By Narashy

NarashyUID: 2602795

元宵节回来第一篇，有时候想到一个要点，但就只能写个两三句，展不开，后两段就写的短。。希望拍文的同学给些意见，十分感谢！！

In this argument, the speaker assert that employment should be offered to teh spouse of new faculties in order to attract talented teachers as well as improve the morale of the entire staff. To reinforce his/her assertion, the speaker cites the the example of Bronston College which is also located in a small town. Although appealing, this conclusion rests on a series of unsubstantiated assumption which render it unconvincing as it stands.

First of all, not enough information about the Bronston College has been presented by the author. Such information includes: the concrete geographical details, the ranking and resource of Bronston College as well as the average age of their faculties. It is entirely possible that, the town where Bronston College lies is a spectacular place and Bronston College itself is a honored school with plenty of grants from the local goverment. All these information would make Bronston College a more satisfied school than Pierce Univeristy. Unless it can been shown that it is hiring faculties' spouse that makes Bronston's faculties happy, the whole conclusion is completely unwarranted.

Secondly, even if the assumption that hiring spouses would makes faculties more satisfied, which is unsubstantiated, it does not follow that this policy would make sense at Pierce. The simple reason is that things rarely remain exactly the same in different places. It appears reasonable that Pierce itself is not a high-level one and competitive as Bronston. What's more, maybe Pierce locates at a place with inconvinient transportation and less-developed market which makes life at Pierce boring and tedious. All these information, in turn, would prevent Pierce hiring new faculies. However, we see no sign in the argument that would rule out these cases.

In addtion, the speaker fails to take into account other alternatives, including the cost by offering jobs to new faculties' spouses. To be a honored university, sufficient expenses should be investigated into the research program rather than hiring more gratuitous staffs. Further analysis and investigation should be presented before implementing this recommendation.

To sum up, the conclusion made by the speaker is not well-supported. To convince me the recommendation, the speaker should provide the extra information about Bronston College and their tips to hire new faculty. To better evaluate the whole plan, a concrete finance analysis should be provided.

greekyUID: 2605662

1# Narashy
169.The following appeared in a letter from a department chairperson to
the president of Pierce University.

"Some studies conducted by Bronston College, which is also located in a
small town, reveal that both male and female professors are happier living
in small towns when their spouses are also employed in the same geographic
area. Therefore, in the interest of attracting the most gifted teachers
and researchers to our faculty and improving the morale of our entire
staff, we at Pierce University should offer employment to the spouse of
each new faculty member we hire. Although we cannot expect all offers to
be accepted or to be viewed as an ideal job offer, the money invested in
this effort will clearly be well spent because, if their spouses have a
chance of employment, new professors will be more likely to accept our
offers."


In this argument, the speaker assert that employment should be offered to teh spouse of new faculties in order to attract talented teachers as well as improve the morale of the entire staff. To reinforce his/her assertion, the speaker cites the the example of Bronston College which is also located in a small town. Although appealing, this conclusion rests on a series of unsubstantiated assumption which render it unconvincing as it stands.

First of all, not enough information about the Bronston College has been presented by the author. Such information includes: the concrete geographical details, the ranking and resource of Bronston College as well as the average age of their faculties. It is entirely possible that, the town where Bronston College lies is a spectacular place and Bronston College itself is a honored school with plenty of grants from the local goverment. All these information would make Bronston College a more satisfied school than Pierce Univeristy. Unless it can been shown that it is hiring faculties' spouse that makes Bronston's faculties happy, the whole conclusion is completely unwarranted.
      个人感觉这一个点攻击的不到位。你首先提到了关于BC的信息不充分，这说明你要攻击这个调查本身，这一点不存在问题。但是提出逻辑问题之后马上应该准备几种可能来回击，这一点做的不是很好。个人感觉possibilities的罗列不在字数长度而在量，要尽量把能想到的可能都列出来，彻底废掉这个点，这样也不愁没话说了。
Secondly, even if the assumption that hiring spouses would makes faculties more satisfied, which is unsubstantiated, it does not follow that（恩 这个用法我下次要用下） this policy would make sense（我拿不准是不是可以这么用，我一般用function 如果我说错了麻烦告诉我一下:) ） at Pierce. The simple reason is that things rarely remain exactly the same in different places. It appears reasonable that Pierce itself is not a high-level one and competitive as Bronston. What's more, maybe Pierce locates at a place with inconvinient transportation and less-developed market which makes life at Pierce boring and tedious. All these information, in turn, would prevent Pierce hiring new faculies. However, we see no sign in the argument that would rule out these cases.

In addtion, the speaker fails to take into account other alternatives, including the cost by offering jobs to new faculties' spouses. To be a honored university, sufficient expenses should be investigated into the research program rather than hiring more gratuitous staffs. Further analysis and investigation should be presented before implementing this recommendation.

To sum up, the conclusion made by the speaker is not well-supported. To convince me the recommendation, the speaker should provide the extra information about Bronston College and their tips to hire new faculty. To better evaluate the whole plan, a concrete finance analysis should be provided.