[i习作temp] 明天考不知道有人愿意给我改一下吗我刚写的看看我的水平 [复制链接]

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发表于 2010-3-2 18:27:35 |显示全部楼层

刚写的改了几个错单词和单复数大家看看这是什么水平有何建议尽管说我明天就要考啦还是有点紧张

TOPIC: ISSUE226 - "People are mistaken when they assume that the problems they confront are more complex and challenging than the problems faced by their predecessors. This illusion is eventually dispelled with increased knowledge and experience."
WORDS: 440
TIME: 00:45:00
DATE: 2010-3-2 18:13:41

There is no definitive meaning of the "complex" and "challenging". However the problems we confront do become more specific and mysterious than before. With the increasing knowledge and experience, we find that there are much more technologies and realms to discover.

First, we compare the confusing condition we encounter nowadays with what our predecessors confronted. In the ancient time, for not suffering from starving, our ancessors must cooperate to hunt for animals in the forests. The living condition surely bad enough for today's citizens to sleep and eating. Sometimes they must be starving for the less activities of animals. At the same time, they also need to keep an eye for some cruel and wild animals that also endangered the survival of them.

Then turn the view to our modern life. Skyscrapers, spaceships and supercomputers and so forth are filling our life, we go out, buses and cars are waiting outside, we want to communicate with our friends, msn or cellphone can serve us effectively, when we are hungry, it is very convenient to call the fast-food shop to deliver home or order in the internet. However, it does means that we are living freely and happily. Our problems transfer from the physical trouble our predecessors face to the spirit and emotions, such as how we can get through the college entrance examination successfully, daily life become so boring we are physically repeating almost the same things when going to work and so forth. Someone even choose to kill himself to get out the kind of life.

We can not make a choice between the two totally different lifestyle which is more complex and challenging.

The second sentence may beg the question, this view can not dispelled even we have more knowledge and experience. We take use of our modern and precise equipment to identify the footprints and air to perceive the circumstance then, we draw our attention and spare various of funds to study the paintings, musics and novels our predecessors composed to know about our history. In the painstaking process, what we absord is that the evolving discipline and unforgettable lessons to teach us to avoid repeating the same mistakes. Thus the increase knowledge and experience make us notice the differences between different periods and learn the lessons.

In sum, I restate my point, that is , it is not necessary to debate the people of which period is more complex, which is so controversial to come to an agreement.
With the developing of our society and technology, what we should try our life to do is that searching the unknown mystery of life and make it more harmony.

TOPIC: ARGUMENT162 - A recent study shows that people living on the continent of North America suffer 9 times more chronic fatigue and 31 times more chronic depression than do people living on the continent of Asia. Interestingly, Asians, on average, eat 20 grams of soy per day, whereas North Americans eat virtually none. It turns out that soy contains phytochemicals called isoflavones, which have been found to possess disease-preventing properties. Thus, North Americans should consider eating soy on a regular basis as a way of preventing fatigue and depression.
WORDS: 372
TIME: 00:30:00
DATE: 2010-3-2 18:13:41

The statement points that soy is should be eaten by North Americans to prevent fatigue and depression. To support the conclusion, the study cites that Asians eating 20 grams of soy per day suffer much less chronic depression than the North Americans. And the phytochemicals called isoflavones in the soy possess disease-preventing properties. However, it is too opinionated to draw such a conclusion.

First, whether the study is conducted precisely and properly is open to doubt. There is not information about the process and means the survey takes to come the conclusion. Perhaps, the survey only investigate a limited area where people have some special gene which leads to high rate of disease, thus the research can not cover the general condition.

Second, the study does not take into the diversity of environment of two areas. Common sense tells us, the climate of North America and Asia is different, which is very likely the main reason of the high rate of disease of North America's residents. Besides, the water and earth in the North America also need special test to demonstrate if there is some special element causing the chronic fatigue.

Even assuring the survey's foregoing suggestion is correct, another problem arise from the next assumption. Information that whether the Asians eat other food or vegetable the North Americans never eats is not provided. Therefore, the explanation the soy's element can cure the disease is unwarranted. It is totally another crop or vegetable have an effect on the decreasing of disease.

We also need more research about the nutrients structure and all the disease-preventing properties the soy contains. Maybe another element also contains the disease-preventing properties.

The last but not least is eating the habits of Asians, they eat 20 grams the soy on average, maybe not everyday. So it may take some disadvantage to eat on a regular day.

In sum, the conclusion is not justifiable. To come to a reasonable, we need the information of the climates of the two areas and of the comparison of food structure in two places. It is better we can get the soy information from the agriculture organization. The last we need is if the Asians eat soy everyday or just in a specific season.