130写的有些混乱，求拍！

jocelyn0422UID: 2753621

觉得写着写着思路就乱了，希望大家多提提意见啊~！

130"How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."

Is it the critical issue that how children are socialized today determines the destiny of society in modern communities? I am consistent with the assertion that children who are immersed in a virtuous-cycle society and positive educational circumstance do have the maximum possibility to make immense contributions to the society we live.
As a threshold matter, we should qualify the socialization as threefold respect, including families, educational organizations and mass media. Firstly, the parent regarded as the first teacher of a child seems to have the major responsibilities to let their child pick up skills and ethic cognition in their childhood. They serve as the apt educational paradigms of their kids who always try to imitate what they observe in common lives. When it comes to the contrary solution that a parent addicted to alcohol and cigarette may also play an adverse role on their kids.
Secondly, schools are also on the way that they have a duty to teach children not only the logical thinking but emotional communications. Schools may fail to socialize the children if they only focus on academic skills but overlook the need of students to explore their emotion. As a final point, human being has been choky in the world surrounding by the exploded information that spring from mass media. Accordingly, if they are winked at the massive violent programs came from the media, the destructive result may turn to be indubitable. W. A. Mozart, regarded as one the most famous composers in the world, attribute to the early education conducted by his father. And on the other hand, he has admired by a variety of people in modern society throughout the world under the era of information explosion.

Nonetheless, the assessment that we have not found the way to raise children who can boost benefits and bring about a better society is one-sided. As people in different positions hold different perspectives on the issues, we may find it difficult to give an accurate definition on the word “better”. If we view it as a society that fill with cooperation, virtual competition and civilization, we have already accomplished the ideal targets. As is known to all, everyone living in the world is the product of that age, and promotes the development of that epoch and society. How children are socialized today hinges on the extent a society developed.

To sum up, the statement is too oversimplified to assert that what children learned from socialization is not suitable to build a better society. Nor can a child grow up without the surrounding environment, which forces them to adapt to the societal identity in the world. As a result, the key point whether a society is better or not based many other factors—such as parental influence, personal conviction and so forth. While our society has evolved into a respectful, cooperative and civilized one, in my observation, I fundamentally disagree with the latter aspect of the speaker’s claim.