[big fish]-3月3日-Argument150-by dgxy08

dgxy08UID: 2599486

Argument No.150

The following is a letter to the editor of an environmental magazine.
"The decline in the numbers of amphibians worldwide clearly indicates the global pollution of water and air. Two studies of amphibians in Yosemite National Park in California confirm my conclusion. In 1915 there were seven species of amphibians in the park, and there were abundant numbers of each species. However, in 1992 there were only four species of amphibians observed in the park, and the numbers of each species were drastically reduced. The decline in Yosemite has been blamed on the introduction of trout into the park's waters, which began in 1920 (trout are known to eat amphibian eggs). But the introduction of trout cannot be the real reason for the Yosemite decline because it does not explain the worldwide decline."

The author assumes that the decline of amphibians due to the global pollution of water and air. To bolster the assumption, the author cites two studies which show the number of amphibians in Yosemite National Park decrease as the time pass by. However, careful examination of the evidence support the argument reveals that it lends little reliable support to the author's claim.

First of all, the studies on Yosemite National Park is not reliable for it has no evidence to exclude the fact that trout eat amphibian eggs, which result in the decrease of amphibians in Yosemite National Park. As we all know that the introduction of trout would lead to the decline of amphibian eggs. without eliminating this possibility, the autor's assertion cannot be taken seriously.

Secondly, assuming that introduction of trout cannot be the real reason for the Yosemite National Spark decline, nevertheless, the author provide no evidence that the Yosemite National Park decline result from the pollution of water and air. Any information about the water and air in Yosemite National Park would be useful which the author overlook. It is entirely possible that some other animal who would like to prey the amphibian were introduced into
Yosemite National Park. Given this scenarios, the argument would be rejected out of hand.

Thirdly, even if the decline in Yosemite National Park because of the pollution of water and air, we cannot conclude that the decline of amphibians due to the global pollution of water and air. The author does not point out the change of the number of
amphibian in worldwide. There is no data to show the trend the author claim. Besides, no information about global pollution of water and airman be obtain to convincing us the numbers of amphibians amphibians worldwide are decreasing because of it.

In conclusion, the argument is indefensible as it stands. More information are demanded to support it.

SansouciUID: 2755036

Argument No.150

The following is a letter to the editor of an environmental magazine.
"The decline in the numbers of amphibians worldwide clearly indicates the global pollution of water and air. Two studies of amphibians in Yosemite National Park in California confirm my conclusion. In 1915 there were seven species of amphibians in the park, and there were abundant numbers of each species. However, in 1992 there were only four species of amphibians observed in the park, and the numbers of each species were drastically reduced. The decline in Yosemite has been blamed on the introduction of trout into the park's waters, which began in 1920 (trout are known to eat amphibian eggs). But the introduction of trout cannot be the real reason for the Yosemite decline because it does not explain the worldwide decline."

The author assumes that the decline of amphibians due to the global pollution of water and air（将这句话paraphrase一下更好） . To bolster the assumption, the author cites two studies which show the number of amphibians in Yosemite National Park decrease as the time pass by. However, careful examination of the evidence support the argument reveals that it lends little reliable support to the author's claim.

First of all, the studies on Yosemite National Park is not reliable for it has no evidence to exclude the fact that trout eat amphibian eggs, which result in the decrease of amphibians in Yosemite National Park. As we all know that the introduction of trout would lead to the decline of amphibian eggs.（为什么呢？用其他原因解释一下更充分）
Without eliminating this possibility, the author’s assertion cannot be taken seriously.

Secondly, assuming that introduction of trout cannot be the real reason for the Yosemite National Spark decline, nevertheless, the author provide no evidence that the Yosemite National Park decline result from the pollution of water and air. Any information about the water and air in Yosemite National Park would be useful？？用词不清，你是想表达YNP地区的环境没被污染吗？ which the author overlook. It is entirely possible that some other animal who would like to prey the amphibian were introduced into Yosemite National Park. Given this scenarios, the argument would be rejected out of hand.

Thirdly, even if the decline in Yosemite National Park because of the pollution of water and air, we cannot conclude that the decline of amphibians due to the global pollution of water and air. The author does not point out the change of the number of amphibian in worldwide. There is no data to show the trend the author claim. Besides, no information about global pollution of water and airman be obtain to convincing us the numbers of amphibians worldwide are decreasing because of it.

In conclusion, the argument is indefensible as it stands. More information are demanded to support it. (再详细些总结谬误， 前后对应)
行文层层不是太清晰， 语言表达还待提高，建议多看多练，最重要是多总结， 让自己的思想和语言能得到充分表现在文章中。
以上只是我的一点点薄建，共勉