kejan(追梦~人)【1006备考日志】 基础再差也得坚持

kejanUID: 2606891

第一篇修改完整的issue,限时失败.好心人可以帮我改一下，KJ 感激不尽。
TOPIC: ISSUE130 - "How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better
society."
The statement actually consists of two claims. First, the destiny of society is determined by how children are socialized today. Second, we have not yet learned how to raise children to be competent to help bring about a better society. As far as I am concerned, I concede that how children are socialized plays certain role on the destiny of the society to some extent and we need to improve our ways to raise our children. However, the statement is too extreme, and I disagree with both of the two claims.

Admittedly, socialization is indeed very important to the future of children. Children who take part in social activities will develop their interpersonal skills, which will contribute greatly to their future life. If children could not obtain such skills well, it is difficult for him/her to live let alone to build society when he/she grows up. Our jobs need us to communicate with others, and when we go shopping we also have to exchange ideas with others. Besides, there are many other occasions where we have to express our standpoints with our interpersonal skills. So, how children are socialized today will determine our children's future, and to a certain extent it will produce certain impacts in society for the reason that these children will be the builders of society in the future.

However, although how children are socialized today actually produce certain effects in society in a way, the destiny of society depends on various factors, such as the science technology, the environment, the source of energy and so on. Consider, for instance, the changes in society brought about by the usage of computer are a good example to prove that the science technology plays an important role in society. So, many factors except how children are socialized determine the destiny of society

In addition, if we consider the item--“better society”--as more efficient work and more comfortable life, we would have already learned how to raise children. The usage of computer made our dream working at home came true, which provided us with a more efficient mode of work. Besides, various machines at our home make our lives more comfortable. All these changes have been brought about by those people who once were children. Hence, we have learned how to raise children in a sense. Meanwhile, parents in growing numbers are beginning to pay more emphases on their children’s growth. They devote to raise children in health, not only in physical but also in mental such as honesty, responsibility, persistence, kindness, and so on. So we could not hastily conclude that we have not learned how to raise children. Admittedly, we have to improve the way to raise children for the reason that a few children are also without a good guidance.

In conclusion, how children are socialized today is very important. But we could not neglect other various important factors which are essential to the destiny of the society. In addition, though we have learned how to raise children in part, we should not stop to improve the methods to raise children who can help bring about a better society.

kejanUID: 2606891

谢谢mynovmbr的评论，我上午对照着您的点评又修改了一下。
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... e%3D1#pid1773765135
我先贴一下我的提纲：
观点：孩子的社会化对社会发展有影响，我们的教育还需改进，但是社会的希望取决于多方面得因素。在如何培养孩子方面，现实也不是像作者所说的那么糟糕。
1、社会化可以让孩子学会与人交流，合作，这些是社会取得进步的重要因素。
2、社会的进步还会受到的很多其他因素影响。人们的道德，人们的创新能力，人们的知识。
3、我们已经掌握了一些培养孩子的方法




TOPIC: ISSUE130 - "How children aresocialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have notyet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."
WORDS:612
TIME: 超时（已修改两遍）
DATE: 2010/3/23 23:07:37


The speaker asserts that the destiny of societyis determined by how children are socialized today and we have not yet learnedhow to raise
children to be competent to help bring about abetter society. As far as I am concerned, I concede that how children aresocialized today plays certain roles on the destiny of the society to someextent and we need to improve our ways to raise our children. However, thestatement is too extreme, because the destiny of society is determined byvarious factors, in addition, the reality is not as pretty bad as the speakerclaims that we have not learned how to raise children who can help bring abouta better society.



Admittedly, socialization can providechildren with the ability of how to communicate and cooperate with others,which is indeed very important to the future of society. Children who take part in socialactivities will have to communicate with his/her partners and cooperate witheach other to deal with some problems, the progress of which will enhancechildren’s interpersonal skills and team spirits. Without such skills we, it isdifficult for children to solve the most problems they have to face in theprogress of the development of society when he/she grows up. Consider, for instance,Microsoft, an international corporation, has branch offices all over the world,so staffs in different countries need to exchange their ideas and cooperatewith each other very often in order to achieve some breakthroughs which willbenefit the society. Thus, to a certain extent how children are socialized today willdetermine the destiny of society.

However, although how children are socializedtoday actually produce certain effects in society in a way, the destiny of society depends on various factors, such as children’smorality, children’s knowledge, children’s creative ability and so on.Consider, for instance, Hitler who was outstanding in social skills but was extremelypoor in moral has led the society into war and impede the advancement of socialcivilization. Besides, without enough knowledge and innovation capacity, howthose great inventions which improved the society, including steam engine, electricity,compute and so on, could be achieved? These examples illustrate that theimportance of morality, knowledge, and creative ability. And all these factorswill start to be cultivated when we are born. So, many factors except how children are socialized determine thedestiny of society.

In addition, from what has been discussedover the opinion that what determine the destiny of society above, we maysafely draw a conclusion that we have already found certain ways to raisechildren, because we have sent our children to schools where they can not only developtheir interpersonal skills and cooperate spirits by playing and working withtheir peers but also learn knowledge from the textbooks and cultivate moralityand creative ability through their teachers’ guidance. Meanwhile, parents ingrowing numbers are beginning to pay more emphases on their children’s growth.
They devote to raisechildren in health, not only in physical but also in mental such as honesty,responsibility, persistence, kindness, and so on. So we could not hastilyconclude that we have not learned how to raise children. Admittedly, we have toimprove the way to raise children for the reason that a few children are stillwithout a good guidance.


In conclusion, how children are socialized today isvery important. But we could not neglect other various important factors which are essential to thedestiny of the society. In addition, though we have learned how to raise childrenin part, we should not stop to improve the methods to raise children who canhelp bring about a better society.

kejanUID: 2606891

写作文，改作文，写，改，午饭不吃了，还有5天， 只有这样了， 结果怎样再说！

kejanUID: 2606891

116. Moreover, many people, including drivers and cyclists, do not obey the traffic rules properly, especially at busy intersections. And this undoubtedly worsens the already grave situation.
　　而且，许多人，包括司机和骑自行车的人，不能很好地遵守交通规则，特别是在繁忙的十字路口，这无疑使本已严重的状况雪上加霜。
117. The number of private cars in urban areas should be limited while the number of public buses should be increased.
　　在城市私人轿车的数量应得到控制而公交车的数量应该增加。
118. When asked what kind of school they are willing to send their children to attend, many parents say they would choose a boarding school rather than day schools for their children.
　　当问到愿意将孩子送到哪种学校的时候，许多父母认为他们会选择寄宿学校而不是日制学校。
119. Many survey show that people in increasing numbers are beginning to recognize that boarding school provides better environment and facilities for children.
　　许多调查显示越来越多的人开始意识到寄宿学校能给他们的孩子提供较好的学习环境和设施。
120. At the same time, there are still many people who live under the traditional ideas that day schools play an extremely important role in children's study.
　　同时，仍有许多人持传统观点认为日制学校对孩子的学习发挥着极其重要的作用。

kejanUID: 2606891

这几天一个人的AW生活让我变得怀旧起来，时不时会想起，寒假在 XDF 和舍友一起奋斗的场面……
明天，我们中的一个人将奔赴杀场了。


河蚌，祝您 明日高频！
                          ——   KJ

kejanUID: 2606891

121. On the one hand, it is indisputable that boarding schools are exerting a growing important effect, especially in last few years.
　　一方面，寄宿学校正在发挥越来越重要的作用，尤其是最近几年，这是无可争辩的。
122. Students attend a boarding school would cultivate their independence as apart from their parents.
　　离开父母上寄宿学校的学生将会培养他们的独立性。
123. What's more, living in school can save them a great deal of time on the way between home and school everyday, so they would be able to concentrate more time and energy on their academic work.
　　而且，生活在学校里能节省大量每天往返于学校和家的路上的时间，这会使他们有更多的时间和精力放在学习上。
124. On the other hand, the contribution of day schools can't be ignored.
　　另一方面，日制学校的贡献是不能忽视的。
125. Due to high tuition fee, most of ordinary families cannot afford to send their children to boarding schools.
　　因为较高的学费，大部分普通家庭支付不起他们的孩子上寄宿学校的费用。

kejanUID: 2606891

好数字 66/1111
加油

kejanUID: 2606891

argument 53 限时失败 之后，又改了一下，31号就考了，各位多批批

TOPIC: ARGUMENT53 - Thirteen years ago,researchers studied a group of 25 infants who showed signs of mild distresswhen exposed to unfamiliar stimuli such as an unusual odor or a tape recordingof an unknown voice. They discovered that these infants were more likely thanother infants to have been conceived in early autumn, a time when theirmothers' production of melatonin-a hormone known to affect some brainfunctions-would naturally increase in response to decreased daylight. In afollow-up study conducted earlier this year, more than half of thesechildren-now teenagers-who had shown signs of distress identified themselves asshy. Clearly, increased levels of melatonin before birth cause shyness duringinfancy and this shyness continues into later life.
限时失败 写了53分钟， 然后又改了好久，水平实在不行，速度也太慢了，31号就要考了，各位帮忙看一下吧，kj 谢谢您了

Grounding on the study about the infants,supporting that increased levels of melatonin before birth cause the distressduring infancy, and then synthesizing another result of a follow-up study thatmore than half of these children-now teenagers-who had shown signs of distressidentified themselves as shy, the arguer accordingly recommend that increasedlevels of melatonin before birth cause shyness during infancy and this shynesscontinues into later life. Carefully examination of the statement, however, itlends little credible support to the arguer’s recommendation.

To begin with, the arguer relies on anunproven cause-and-effect relationship between the mild distress of infants andmelatonin. Perhaps baby has something special self-protection ability that themelatonin's influence has nothing to do with the baby or even could benefit thebaby. Even assume that the melatonin affects the baby, there is not any otherinformation to illustrate that the brain's function affected by the melatonin leadto the distress. Perhaps these functions just affect the baby's intelligent orother abilities. In short, without ruling out these possibilities the arguercould not hastily create a causal relationship between the melatonin and thedistress.

Next, the arguer fails to equate the milddistress with the shyness. Perhaps the distress is just a physical response.The infants were scared by the new things, because they have not seen suchthings. Without taken into account the true meaning under the distress, thearguer could not link the distress with the shyness.

Finally, even assuming that the milddistress is really because of the shyness, the arguer unfairly assumes thatthis shyness would continues into later life based on a flawed study. Perhapsthe teenagers in the study fail to identify them as shy. They might identifythemselves as shy just because they would like to stay at home. Or perhaps thesample is too small to represent the general. What if the sample extends to10,000 numbers of such children? Perhaps most children in the new study are notshyness. Admittedly, some children are shyness. Perhaps the environment leadsto their shyness. Perhaps these children live under an environment where nopeers around them and talk with them, and then they become shyness. So, withoutcompelling evidence to support, the arguer’s conclusion is not worthy ofconsideration.


To sum up, the recommendation isunconvincing as it stands. To strengthen it the arguer should offer moreinformation about the relationship between distress of the infants and the melatonin.Moreover, the author must also assure the scientific study.

kejanUID: 2606891

126. Since it is unnecessary to consider student's routine life, day school can lay stress on teaching instead of other aspects, such as management of dormitory and cafeteria.
　　由于无需考虑学生的日常生活，日制学校可以将重点放在教学上而不是放在像宿舍和食堂管理这些方面。
127. Furthermore, students living in their own home would have access to a comfortable life and have more opportunities to communicate with their parents, which have beneficial impact on development of their personal character.
　　而且，学生生活在自己家中，有舒适的生活，并有更多机会和父母交流，这对他们个性的培养是有利的。
128. From what has been discussed above, we may safely draw the conclusion that both of day schools and boarding schools are important to train young students for our society.
　　通过以上讨论，我们可以得出结论，寄宿学校和日制学校对我们社会培养年轻学生都是重要的。
129. There is much discussion over science and technology. One of the questions under debate is whether traditional technology and methods are bound to die out when a country begins to develop modern science and technology.
　　关于科学技术存在许多争论，其中一个问题是当国家发展现代科学技术时，传统的技术方法是否可能会消亡？
130. As for me, the declining of traditional technology and methods is not a bad thing; it is the natural result of progress of society.
　　我认为，传统技术方法的消亡不一定是坏事，这是社会进步的自然结果。

kejanUID: 2606891

TOPIC: ARGUMENT45 - The following appeared as an editorial in a wildlife journal.

又是一篇改的比较时间比较长的argument，效果怎样，心里没底。 欢迎大家拍砖

"Arctic deer live on islands in Canada's arctic region. They search for food by moving over ice from island to island during the course of a year. Their habitat is limited to areas warm enough to sustain the plants on which they feed, and cold enough, at least some of the year, for the ice to cover the sea separating the islands, allowing the deer to travel over it. Unfortunately, according to reports from local hunters, the deer populations are declining. Since these reports coincide with recent global warming trends that have caused the sea ice to melt, we can conclude that the decline in arctic deer populations is the result of deer being unable to follow their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea."
This plausible argument cites several evidence and quotes a report to make a conclusion that the decline in arctic deer populations dues to deer being unable to follow their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea. However, after scrutinizing these evidence and the reason of the author, I find the argument suffers from several critical flaws as follows.  

To begin with, the author unfairly to conclude that the deer population is declining based on a report from local hunters. Without any detailed information about the reports, the results of the report are not convincing. And it is entirely possible that the report has been written by only small part of local hunters without sufficient surveys. So, the report might not be able to indicate the real condition of the deer populations. Consider, for instance, many other hunters in the local region who have not participated in the process of writing the report would claim that arctic deer populations are increasing through their experiences. Moreover, perhaps arctic deer active less frequently than ever, which makes an illusion of the decline of arctic deer populations. In short, without taking into account this feasibility the author could unfairly draw any conclusion from the results of the report.

Next, even assuming that arctic deer populations are really declining, no evidence is supported that the global warming leads to the decline. Besides, no information in the argument indicates that the region has been influenced by the global warming, and then the deer is not able to move over the ice from island to island. Moreover, it might be the case that the number of the plants in the islands has been rapidly decreased over the recent years because of people's activities, and then the lack of enough plants leads to the decline of arctic deer populations. Hence, without ruling out the possibility the author might not be able to make the conclusion.

Finally, another possible reason for the decline of arctic deer populations the author ignores is the increasing hunter's hunting activities. And it is entirely possible that hunters were just a small part of local population in the past. While more and more people have realized that hunting is a good job and will provide them with much wealth, the number of local hunters has been increasing sharply in the recent years. As a result, the number of deer which died from the hunter has been increasing rapidly, which leads to the decline of arctic deer populations. Thus, without accounting for this probability the author could not hastily conclude the conclusion.

After careful consideration, the author lacks of detailed evidence and precise reasoning to make a sound argument. To strengthen the argument the author must offer more detailed information about the report. Moreover, the author also must provide more detailed information about the local region especially the activities of local hunters.

kejanUID: 2606891

坚持！4天

kejanUID: 2606891

argument53 又改了一下

This plausible argument quotes two studies to make a conclusion that increased levels of melatonin before birth leads to shyness during infancy and shyness continues into later life. However, after scrutinizing the two studies and the reasoning of the author, I find the argument suffers from several critical flaws as follows.

To begin with, the author’s conclusion depends on the assumption that the results of the study are reliable. Yet, the author offers no information to substantiate the assumption. It is most likely that the researchers have carried out the study just in one small region. As we know various regions have different demographics and living habits, which would lead to varies results of a study. For that reason, one region is not able to represent the general, as well as the results of the study in this region are not able to extend to the entirety. Moreover, the study itself also probably contains flaws. Perhaps researchers took unscientific methods to do the study. Consider, for instance, if the twenty-five infants all were boys, the results might not be fit for the girls. Or perhaps the feedback from the children is not truth. For example some children in the study might unfairly identify themselves as shy just because they would like to stay at home. So, the author must consider all these relevant information about the study before he/she draws the conclusion.

Next, the author relies on an unproven cause-and-effect relationship between the mild distress of infants and melatonin. Perhaps baby has something special self-protection ability that protects the baby from the influence of the melatonin, which is the same as our immunities to some disease. As we know, the majority of mother-to-be will eat some nutrition. Perhaps these mothers of the children who were in the study have eaten a same brand of nutrition, which contains some chemical material that contributed to the mild distress of infants. In short, without ruling out these possibilities the author could not hastily create a causal relationship between the melatonin and the distress.

Finally, the author unfairly infers that this shyness would continue into later life based on a flawed study. Common sense tells me that a person’s character may be affected by various factors. However, the author offers no information about the life conditions or living environment of these children. Perhaps the environment leads to their shyness. Perhaps these children live under an environment where no peers around them and talk with them, and then they become shyness. So, without compelling evidence to support, the author’s conclusion is not worthy of consideration.

After careful consideration, the author lacks both detailed evidence as well as precise reasoning to make a sound argument. To strengthen the argument the author needs to make sure he has selected a big enough sample and must offer more information about the relationship between distress of the infants and the melatonin. Moreover, the author must also provide more detailed information about the living environment of these children.

kejanUID: 2606891

131. In the first place, some aspects of the traditional technology and methods are harmful and hampering the development of modern technology science.
　　首先，传统技术方法有些部分是有害的，并且会阻碍现代科技的发展。
132. Although modern science and technology have proved that such methods are absurd, there are still millions of people use such methods in many remote places nowadays.
　　尽管现代科学技术已经证明了这些方法是愚昧的，然而在许多偏僻的地方，仍有成千上万的人们在使用这些方法。
133. In the second place, many values of traditional technology are out of date and should be replaced by modern science.
　　第二点，许多传统技术方法已经过时，应被现代科技所取代。
134. Although many people tend to live under the illusion that traditional technology and methods are still playing extremely important role in people's life, an increasing evidences show that it is less useful than many people think.
　　尽管许多人保持着传统观念，认为传统技术方法在人们生活中仍发挥着重要作用，但是越来越多的证据显示它并没有人们想象的有用。
135. From what has been discussed above, I firmly believe that time will prove that traditional technology and methods would die out with the development of modern science and technology. The maintenance of the traditional technology and methods is futile.
　　通过以上讨论，我坚定地相信时间会证明传统技术方法将会随着现代技术的发展而消亡，坚持传统技术方法是徒劳的。

kejanUID: 2606891

考完aw 也有些时间了 ，考点不好，自己的复习过程也没有什么很好的经验可以拿出来给大家看一下，
只有一点我还是提醒一下：A的题库最好要全部过一遍
不去多想了，现在抓紧笔试复习了
谢谢作文版的所有朋友，祝福所有的xdjm好运！