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[i习作temp] [Big Fish]3月3日Issue103 by-Bobbiezz [复制链接]

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发表于 2010-3-4 00:18:49 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
ISSUE103
“The study of history has value only to extent that it is relevant to our daily lives.”
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Should people study history have useful for our daily lives? I concede that people prefer to acknowledge history that relevant their lives, however sometimes they read some academia of history just for enlarge their sight and to make their lives more interesting.

First of all, I claim that people should study relevant of our daily lives history knowledge at first. Because our ancestors had large amount knowledge that we can not read it entirely. In addition, if we in the beginning learn that it will be useful for us to enlarge our thought and sight and make us have further view to realize reality world. By reading excellent books wrote by forerunner, we can not only gain usefulness things but also can avoid fault which ancient had made. That could make present people success easier.

Secondly, if people have more time to learn, they should read as widely as they can, because there is no boundary in each academia. The more they gain from past, the more they have experience and wisdom from earlier person. For instance, a economic scholar only learn the academia of economic however deeply he research it is not enough and he could never be a outstanding economics area in his life. The exceptional person Adam Smith who composed the wealth of the nations had broadly research in widely academic science, such as sociology, history, literature and philosophy. Other relevant might make him famous, however, if he limits that extensively knowledge, he could not be success, because only research one subject could restraint his sight and thought.

Thirdly, I disapprove of the statement that people only to study history relevant our lives. Perhaps some history have no relationship with us, it could not be proved that no useful. People could enjoy their leisure time and talk with friends for fun by reading that story of the history that have no contact with us. Artists can make some tale of previous that seems no relevant to our daily lives to create advertisements, movies, paintings and so forth. Such as Troy that happened so far from present and even have no relate to us. However, the most artists and directors of firm compose their work based on the old tale. And make large amount of people know the history.

In sum up, we can not make a definition about what people should study of history, but they should know as much as they can. Although the relevant history of us just more useful than others, it can not said that the early knowledge have no relationship with us have no use for our daily lives. So study history which only relevant to our daily lives is not enough.
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发表于 2010-3-6 22:30:15 |只看该作者
Should people studyhistory (最好插入一个that,) have useful for our daily lives?
I concedethat people prefer to acknowledge history that relevant their lives, howeversometimes they read some academia of history just(为什么要加一个just呢,为了强调非历史的作用,just却把这里弱化了) for enlarge their sight andto make their lives more interesting.
First of all, I claim that people should study relevant of ourdaily lives history knowledge at first. Because our ancestors had large amountknowledge that we can not(应该是cannot, cannot=can't;can not=可以不) read it entirely. In addition, if we in the beginninglearn that it will be useful for us to enlarge our thought and sight and makeus have further view to realize reality world. By reading excellent books wroteby forerunner, we can not only gain usefulness things but also can avoid faultwhich ancient had made. That could make present people success easier.
Secondly, if people have more time to learn, they should read aswidely as they can, because there is no boundary in each academia. (这个开头句显得不太扣题)The morethey gain from past, the more they have experience and wisdom from earlierperson. For instance, a economic scholar only learn the academia of economichowever deeply he research it is not enough and he could never be a outstandingeconomics area in his life. The exceptional person Adam Smith who composed thewealth of the nations had broadly research in widely academic science, such associology, history, literature and philosophy. Other relevant might make himfamous, however, if he limits that extensively knowledge, he could not besuccess, because only research one subject could restraint(restrain) his sight andthought.
Thirdly, I disapprove of the statement that people only to(去掉) studyhistory relevant our lives. Perhaps some history have no relationship with us,it could not be proved that no useful. People could enjoy their leisure timeand talk with friends for fun by reading that story of the history that have nocontact with us. Artists can make some tale of previous that seems no relevantto our daily lives to create advertisements, movies, paintings and so forth.Such as Troy that happened so far from present and even have no relate to us.However, the most artists and directors of firm compose their work based on theold tale. And make large amount of people know the history.
In sum up, we can not make a definition(decision) about what people shouldstudy of history, but they should know as much as they can (why?). Although therelevant history of us just more useful than others, it can not said that theearly knowledge have no relationship with us have no use for our daily lives.So study history which only relevant to our daily lives is not enough.

作者的论证过程仍然不够有说服力,很多论证似乎只是在说给自己听,有力的论证需要强有力的一步步的推理和例证,其中很多话都没有很强的支持,因此整篇文章读起来显得说服力要弱一些,不过比上次的已经有进步了。建议在论证结构上先再下下功夫。
取次花丛懒回顾,半缘修道GRE

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RE: [Big Fish]3月3日Issue103 by-Bobbiezz [修改]

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[Big Fish]3月3日Issue103 by-Bobbiezz
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