【Big Fish】3月4日Argument14-By Light

jjooyyUID: 2704028

In the memo, the owner recommends to expand the variety of vegetable seeds, in order to increase profits. This is based on a national survey, which demonstrates consumers were not satisfied with the quality of vegetable, and the selling result of the gardening magazine from Great Gardens stand. However, as it stands, it is not convincing.

To begin with, the national survey is not reliable for the author to conclude about people in the town. They might not typify the national survey. Without other substantial evidence, it is also possible that citizens may just satisfy with the quality of fresh vegetables available.

In addition, even if citizens in the town are dissatisfied with the fresh vegetable, the hot selling magazine Great Gardens could not prove their interests of planting vegetables by their own. Perhaps they are fond of gardening, or reading magazines about gardening for comfort. Without ruling other probabilities, the assumption is ungrounded.

Finally, supposing that settlers are interested in cultivating vegetables, the strategy of selling vegetable seeds remains to be seen. Consumers may buy seeds from the grocery stores, or collect them from food. Also, the author fails considering other strategies to gain profit, such as selling more fresh vegetable than before, selling gardening tools and etc.

In conclusion, the recommendation is not persuasive. To bolster it, he should offer more detailed information about (1) the local survey about people's satisfactory of the quality of vegetable; (2) whether they are interested in planting vegetable; (3) other methods to increase profits.

贴出来发现还是好短啊。。。

cooltozeroUID: 2705603

In the memo, the owner recommends to expand the variety of vegetable seeds, in order to increase profits. This is based on a national survey, which demonstrates consumers were not satisfied with the quality of vegetable, and the selling result of the gardening magazine from Great Gardens stand. However, as it stands, it is not convincing. To begin with, the national survey is not reliable for the author to conclude about people in the town. They might not typify the national survey. Without other substantial evidence, it is also possible that citizens may just satisfy with the quality of fresh vegetables available. In addition, even if citizens in the town are dissatisfied with the fresh vegetable, the hot selling magazine Great Gardens could not prove their interests of planting vegetables by their own. Perhaps they are fond of gardening, or reading magazines about gardening for comfort. Without ruling other probabilities, the assumption is ungrounded. Finally, supposing that settlers are interested in cultivating vegetables, the strategy of selling vegetable seeds remains to be seen. Consumers may buy seeds from the grocery stores, or collect them from food. Also, the author fails considering other strategies to gain profit, such as selling more fresh vegetable than before, selling gardening tools and etc. In conclusion, the recommendation is not persuasive. To bolster it, he should offer more detailed information about (1) the local survey about people's satisfactory of the quality of vegetable; (2) whether they are interested in planting vegetable; (3) other methods to increase profits. 你的每一个点发挥太少了，所以写不长。 另外，模版还是不要太僵化的好。 关于A我研究得太少，昨天被人家拍死了之后，我决定要研究一下A的理论，特别是审题。你这篇文章也还需要在审题上下功夫。