【Big Fish】3月8日 Argument203-By Rokre2tt

rokre2ttUID: 2714355

In this argument, the author indicates two hospitals, one is in the town of Saluda, and the other is in the nearby city of Megaville. Based on the contrast of these two hospitals, the author asserts that the smaller and nonprofit hospitals is more economical and of better quality than the larger and for -profit ones. At the first glimpse, the argument seems rational, but there are some obvious logical flaws after a deep analysis.

First of all, only an example can't prove that all the hospitals in the society have such situation. The author only refers two hospitals in Saluda and Megaville, then through the contrast about size, profit condition, average days which the patients need stay, cure rate, employees along to each patient and the statistic of patients' complaints, finally he concludes that generally all the smaller and nonprofit hospitals are more economical and of better quality than the larger and for-profit ones. But that is only a particular, maybe in other areas there is a contrary phenomenon. As the author doesn't indicate other realm’s data, the conclusion is not creditable.

Second, there are not sufficient evidences to support the conclusion that the smaller and nonprofit hospitals are more economical than the bigger and for-profit hospitals. How to definite economical of the hospitals? The author may consider it from such aspects as the input (size) and output (time to stay in the hospitals). The nonprofit hospitals in the argument have smaller size and less time to stay than the for-profit ones. But the author ignores that people may need more small hospitals to satisfy the needs. And maybe the government invests more in the nonprofit than the for-profit ones. If these conditions are true, I can't judge which kinds of hospitals are more economical.

Third, such a conclusion about the hospitals' quality is also lack of evidence. Of course, if focusing on the aspects of the cure rate, the average employees belong to each patient and the complaints about service, the smaller and nonprofit hospitals seem to have a better quality. But the author doesn't offer other necessary messages to prove that. If there are more patients choosing to cure in the larger hospitals, the cure rate maybe lower, the average employees per patient maybe less, and the complaints about service maybe also less in the same reason. So based on the insufficient evidence in this argument, I can't conclude that the smaller and nonprofit hospitals have better quality.

All in all, the conclusion of the author is not creditable. To enforce it, I need more data, such as the investment to these two types of hospitals, the patients choosing to different kinds of hospitals at the same time, and more hospitals’ condition in other areas.

sunny球UID: 2693880

In this argument, the author indicates two hospitals, one is in the town of Saluda, and the other is in the nearby city of Megaville.(这句话感觉不完整，主干是indicate two hospitals后面感觉缺内容) Based on the contrast of these two hospitals, the author asserts that the smaller and nonprofit hospitals is more economical and of better quality than the larger and for -profit ones. At the first glimpse, the argument seems rational, but there are some obvious logical flaws after a deep analysis. (此句很准确)

First of all, only an example can't prove that all the hospitals in the society have such situation（具体such situation是哪个situation，不然会歧义）. The author only refers two hospitals in Saluda and Megaville, then through the contrast about size, profit condition, average days which the patients need (to) stay, cure rate, employees along to each patient and the statistic of patients' complaints, finally he concludes that generally all the smaller and nonprofit hospitals are more economical and of better quality than the larger and for-profit ones. (这句话逗号太多，可用连词断成两个句子，average days和 cure rate可分成两层写，两张错误)But that is only a particular, maybe in other areas there is a contrary phenomenon. As the author doesn't indicate other realm’s data, the conclusion is not creditable.

Second, there are not（no） sufficient evidences to support the conclusion that the smaller and nonprofit hospitals are more economical than the bigger and for-profit hospitals. How to definite economical (adj.语法上来说adj.+of不合适)of the hospitals? The author may consider it from such aspects as the input (size) and output (time to stay in the hospitals). The nonprofit hospitals in the argument have smaller size and less time to stay than the for-profit ones. But the author ignores that people may need more small hospitals to satisfy the needs. And maybe the government invests more in the nonprofit than the for-profit ones. If these conditions are true, I can't judge which kinds of hospitals are more economical.

Third, such a conclusion about the hospitals' quality is also lack of evidence. Of course, if focusing on the aspects of the cure rate, the average employees belong to each patient and the complaints about service, the smaller and nonprofit hospitals seem to have a better quality. But the author doesn't offer other necessary messages to prove that. If there are more patients choosing to cure in the larger hospitals, the cure rate maybe lower, the average employees per patient maybe less, and the complaints about service maybe also less in the same reason. So based on the insufficient evidence in this argument, I can't conclude that the smaller and nonprofit hospitals have better quality. （此段说理清楚，很好）

All in all, the conclusion of the author is not creditable. To enforce it, I need more data, such as the investment to these two types of hospitals, the patients choosing to different kinds of hospitals at the same time, and more hospitals’ condition in other areas.（断成两句，层层递进，感觉会好些）

思路清晰，除少数语法错误外表达的既简洁又清楚，模版语言很少，读起来自然~
建议加些连词，把一些if换成其他词,比如perhaps之类；不要过分追求长句，太长的句子可以用连词构造递进，再把两个分句写饱满一点，长度合适即可~
加油！