[a习作temp] ARGUMENT45 我的第一次GTER作文。。。谢谢各位大牛！ [复制链接]

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发表于 2010-3-17 23:05:07 |显示全部楼层

感谢各位。。。26号要考，水平很擦。。。焦虑中，也不知道怎么写才行

ps.我的语言功底很差很差。。。

TOPIC: ARGUMENT45 - The following appeared as an editorial in a wildlife journal.

"Arctic deer live on islands in Canada's arctic region. They search for food by moving over ice from island to island during the course of a year. Their habitat is limited to areas warm enough to sustain the plants on which they feed, and cold enough, at least some of the year, for the ice to cover the sea separating the islands, allowing the deer to travel over it. Unfortunately, according to reports from local hunters, the deer populations are declining. Since these reports coincide with recent global warming trends that have caused the sea ice to melt, we can conclude that the decline in arctic deer populations is the result of deer being unable to follow their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea."
WORDS: 480
TIME: 00:29:00
DATE: 2010/3/17 17:34:21

The author concludes that the decline in arctic deer populations is the result of deer being unable to follow their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea, and global warming is the reason of the seldom ice to cover the sea. This conclusion is not well substantiated due to the followed reasons.

The conclusion of deer's populations declining is based on the reports from local hunters. Lacking of scientific research of the populations of deer, just depend on the hunters' reports, we cannot get the convincing conclusion about the amount of deer is indeed decreasing. There is the possibility that the hunters were not forthright due to Varity of reasons. Maybe they reported this to inform the government that they are suffering a bad living condition, and asked for subsidies. Otherwise, the author does not inform us that how many hunters reported this phenomenon. Perhaps just few hunters reported this, and this is an illusion. So, without better evidence and scientific studies about the populations of arctic deer, we cannot hastily conclude that the populations are declining.

Even if the
populations' declining is truly happened, we cannot attribute it to their being unable to migrate across the frozen sea. At least two logical flaws exist:
(1)Since the argument is based on the global trends, and the author does not provide evidence whether these trends are occurred in this specific region. It is possible that the global trend is warmer, but the temperatures here are decreasing. Even if the average temperature is also higher than before, it cannot inform us that the coldest period of a year, there is no ice cover the sea separating the islands. If so, the conclusion based on the global warming is unwarranted.
(2)Even we can assume that their no ice covered between the separating islands, we cannot conclude that this is the reason why the population of arctic deer declining. All other possible reasons should be taken into account. Maybe the using of pesticide pollutes the water sources which arctic deer used to drink. There is also the possibility that local hunters hunt much more deer than before due to the higher prices in the market, or other animals are not as easy to catch as before due to populations of them are decreasing. In short, the author could not hastily conclude that deer being unable to follow their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea are the only possible reason for the declining of the deer's population.

In sum, the argument is not as convincing as it stands due to the reasons mentioned above. To bolster it, the author at least should provide more concrete evidence to demonstrate that the populations of deer are indeed declining. Moreover, other possible reasons including mentioned or not mentioned should be ruling out before reaching the conclusion, more evidence should be provided. If so, the conclusion will be more logical acceptable.

再次感谢各位！

Argument45, 第一次, 感谢