独立小组写作

chailybaiUID: 2741896

3.26  (08.11.7NA)

When it comes to the issue whether more emphasis should be put on young children education or on universities,many people will face a dilemma,since both sides are critical to the development of a country.From my perspective,more bugdets should be placed on the young children education instead of universities.

The first point of mine stands on the fact that to the younger generations,basic education in school is the beginning  stage of their community life .If they can do well in this stage,they are more likely to succeed in their later study and life,which will lead to better ways to contribution  to their country from a long run.To be more specific,once more budgets are distributed to the elementary education,young children are bound to get better education facilities,like the updated labs,microphone rooms,which enable them to get a better academic environment.As a result ,young children can learn more efficiently and make greater achievement  to the society.To take  U.S as an example,it highly attach importance to the basic education among young children and regards young children as the stars of the future.Consequently,those youngs study harder in order to devote to the country.(这里缺个连接词)Numerous talents and intelligences from various fields spare no efforts to  make this country  more stronger and powerful.

In addition,more people can gain access to basic education  and make contributions to the society once government focus budgets on it.According to a lastest survey conducted by NYU,more than 70%（的什么？）fail to get admission to universitese even though  they have finished their compulsory education.（这里用fail感觉是他们想进但没考上，这就和后面的结论矛盾了，可以换作cease to get further education in universities之类的表达他们主观终止学习的意思。。） This result clearly demonstrates that it is unnecessary to highlight higher education because of the various career choices (provided)these days.It is universally acknowledged that what we once called the "real brains" now comes not only from universities,but all aspects of  the society.Therefore,people just need to receive their elementary education since what matters is their interests not their levels of edcucation.（interest有点牵强啊,说internal desire to pursue their dream之类的吧，毕竟interest不及dream来的有力量啊）As long as government focus on their compulsory education,their future career choice is largely depends on themselves.(这个因果关系有点奇怪啊，中间缺了一个过渡条件的感觉，可以说明是因为有了坚实的基础才使他们有了自由选择的权利~~)No matter he or she is a teacher or a baker,they  are all important factors to the society.

All in all,i firmly believe that young children education ought to be highly stressed,so why don't we double our efforts to it in order to make our nation more stronger?' l"

感觉楼主的用词语句表达已经不错了，就是文章的一些细节上逻辑有点问题。。列提纲的时候多注意一下吧~~~已经很不错了~~加油吧~~

cp19880313UID: 2643174

3.26

馋MEUID: 2761685

3.28 （09.2.14）
To be well-informed people should get information from many different information sources


Information,as the both resource input and output,has plays an imperative role in our daily life.The issue whether well-informed people should obtain information from  various has triggered a heating debate in which a fair proportion of people claim various resources is not necessarily made up a well-informed one ,while others hold the opposite view.As far as i am concerned,different ways to obtain information indeed makes a man more wiser and knowledgable.

To begin with, various resources serve as a tool to broaden one's horizon,thus help him or her make decisions more accurately .To be more specific,the more a person know ,the more correct his judgement will be.Since he or she has understand both the negative and positive aspects of the subject,he is bound to comprehend  and interpret it with a better understanding.For instance ,only when a marketer get to know the real needs of the customers can he provide the goods ;only when an excellent artist has learnt different sorts of painting style can he work out his own unique style.Therefore, different resources enable people to perceive things on a different angle instead of restricting himself in a particular field,

Moreover,information can be also regarded as an exchange of views between people,thus provides a bettter platform to learn from others.It goes without the saying that" there is always someone that can be called your teacher".Indeed,we need to arm ourselves with updated information in order to face any chanllenges in life.As a result ,a way to bebetter prepared for future is to learn from others continually .So the significance of information exchange can never be neglected.Take Darwin,the famous biologist as an example,he is a students who likes to discuss matters with his professors frequently,anytime anywhere,he can always pop up a series of problems .However,this also makes him the greatest man in the biological field for his well-known evolutionary theory.

In a nutshell.,I strongly hold the belief that as long as you wanna be a well-informed one, you have to be instilled with various information resources and convert these ideas into your own creative thoughts.

馋MEUID: 2761685

3.29 （07.10.20）
Some people think one's working is more important than being with one's famly.


When it comes to work and family,many people will face a dilemma,since both of the two factors are essential in measuring a successful life.Thus the controversy of whether working is more important than being with one's family has caused quite a stir.From my point of view,a harmonious family is much more imperative than work.

To begin with,one can gain a sense of belonging from his family ,which can never be aquired from his job.It is universally acknowledged that home is the best place for one to relax,to display his real personality and thoughts without reservation.To be more specific,while staying with your family ,you can virtually feel their care and love as a member if this family.Moreover,your family are also the best ones who you can confide to ,especially when you face some setbacks and are in need of help,they will always  stand by your side and show their support at the first time.Take myself as an example,whenever I confront some  diffculties or  suffer from stress from study ,the first one pop up to my mind is my family because they will direct you to the right way and makes you feel that you are the one who is integrated closely to this group.


Besides,for most people,the drive of their work rises from their family.It is this motivation that forces them to move ,to work and even to live ,so eveything will turn out to be uselessness once their jobs lose this strong driving force.For the majorities ,they work harder in order to improve the living standards of present life for their family,who deserve them do so .However,if they are exccesively absorbed into making money and working ,they will soon realize what they have gained  are at the expense of their family,which is far more valuable than the work.Furthermore,if one can get along with his family and find the balance between his family and work,he is likely to work more efficiently ;By contrast,he may bring the negative emotion into his work if he cannot address his family problems well.

In a nutshell,I  am firmly  convinced by the idea that being with one's family is more important than working.But what need to point out is that as long as he can distribute his time properly and find the balance ,he is bound to be a sucessful man.

馋MEUID: 2761685

提前写一篇
3.30 （09.2.21）
Newspapers and magazines are the best way of learning about a foreign country

With the globalization of the world, different countries and different cultures are being a 'melting pot", we are closer than ever before .Some people attribute this highly integration to the newspaper and magazines, while I hold the view that once you really want to learn a foreign culture, travelling abroad is undeniable the best way.

Compared to newspaper and magazines, travelling experience enable you to gain an totally new outlooks and a better understanding. To be  more specific, what you have seen and read from newspaper or magazines are your visual feast, you can never acquire a sense of real understanding unless you have been to there .How could you feel the luxurious atmosphere without shopping in New .York 5th.Avenue?How could you enjoy the breathtaking  beach  in Miami without visiting there yourself? How could you feel the magnificence of White House without  going there ?All you have gained comes from the pictures and the words, which are interpreted by others ,not yourself. Therefore ,it is your travelling that makes you know the foreign country.

In additions, travelling experience  enables you to make some foreign friends ,which is beneficial to your understanding about a country as well. During your abroad traveling, you are bound to meet foreign friends who can tell you the real life in that country ,like their living style, eating habits ,working hours. Only through the exchange of your views and conversations can you find out whether the newspaper has reflected it accurately .Since what your imagination is not always what the reality is. I used to consider London a entirely modern city with skyscrapers everywhere unless I visited there, t is also ha many historical sites and mixes ancient arts. And one of my friends in England also  tells me about their real life and work, which helps me understand this country better.

Admittedly, newspaper and magazines can display the exotic scenery and foreign life to us ,but they may not be consistent with the real ones. Therefore, I believe the best way to acquire the information of foreign country is your real experience.

speedzshawUID: 2556376

3.28 修改 by speedzshaw

馋MEUID: 2761685

嗯，很宝贵的意见，我是经常会打出很多错别字的，因为怕时间不够每次写完后也没检查，以后一定会注意的，还有，那个imperative 不是我学了个词乱用的，我查过字典的，而且见过这个用法的，你说的那个貌似是imperious吧！本人英语水平有限，所以什么不懂的要向你请教了 21# speedzshaw

124245581UID: 2764151

Schools, as a place for cultivating  talents and competent people, have(与schools主谓一致) always（always一般不用于完成时，不是很常见） played a significant role in our daily-life. The problem of whether(在这个语境中用if比用whether好一些) improvement on schools is the most important factors（去掉S） has caused（这里不应该用现在完成时，用一般时就行了,去掉has变为causes） quite a stir.（整个句子我认为应该改成：The problem of if improvement on schools is the most important factor causes quite a stir.） Some people disapprove of this idea as they argue that it may seldom influence a country (把little换成seldom), while others hold the opposite view. Personally, I believe schools are indeed the most essential element which determine the development of a country.

The first point of mine stands on the fact that schools are the major source of developing
potential talents for the society .Since schools are the necessary steps（since schools become the necessary step） for most of the children who have to attend their classes and carry on their study (我认为这里用finish their study比较好，就是说上学并且完成他们的学业)in their schools .Therefore, schools naturally becomes(become) the best place for students to begin their elementary education .Moreover, as some children are likely to pursue their further education and achieve higher, schools are a must. Nevertheless, it is universally acknowledged that most of the scientists ,economists, biologists, politicians all have an excellent academic backgrounds in their schools, so it is no exaggerated to say that the development of a country largely depends on the schools'（名词复数是s‘） operation.

In addition, schools not only serves as   a place for study, but also a place where students can develop their spirit of teamwork and learn how to cooperate with others, which is an（之前是两者就应该改成are the ） important skills in both（我认为both可以不加，有点多余） their life and study. As school is composed of numerous students and a couple of staff members, students have  to understand how to get on well with others and communicate with others in a right way. Once students have form an systematic ways  how to conduct their behavior and obey the rules ,they are bound to be  self-awareness and responsible in the society.

Admittedly, some environmental problems and social healthcare issues are affecting the development of the country as well ,but  I still hold the belief that talents are the foundation of a well-developed country and thus  more emphasis should be placed on the school education.
我觉着就一些句子写的过长导致主谓单复数或者语法时态的错误···其他都很好··加油呀···真的很抱歉这么晚才给你回复（前两天生病···可怜中）

stefanie299UID: 2667762

3.29 （07.10.20）+ v5 |6 N/ @$ ^9 H& B4 K9 J( }
Some people think one's working is more important than being with one's famly.



Y( t
+ u& I3 f# Q; ]
When it comes to work and family, many people will face a dilemma, since both of the two factors are essential in measuring a successful life. Thus the controversy of whether working is more important than being with one's family has caused quite a stir. From my point of view, a harmonious family is much more imperative than work.8 j; x4 N2 p* j, e

To begin with, one can gain a sense of belonging from his family, which can never be aquired(acquired) from his job. It is universally acknowledged that home is the best place for one to relax, to display his real personality and thoughts without reservation. To be more specific, while staying with your family, you can virtually feel their care and love as a member if this family.(这句话不通顺，their是指谁要明确的表示出来，if this family是指什么你也没有描述清楚。这句话要改改)
Moreover, your family are also the best ones who you can confide to, especially when you face some setbacks and are in（这个去掉应该会更通顺些） need of（some） help, they will always  stand by your side and show their support at the（固定搭配 at first time没有the ） first time. Take myself as an example, whenever I confront some diffculties(difficulties) or  suffer from stress from study ,the first one pop up to my mind(嗯，这个很形象) is my family
（不过这句表达有点Chinglish了，the first one,要改改）because they will direct you to the right way and makes（make） you feel that you are the one who is integrated closely to this group（这个与你想要阐述的观点逻辑上貌似不够连贯）.



* }$ ?( ]4 H+ J
Besides, for most people, the drive（嗯，这个好，我第一次知道drive可以当名词用） of their work rises from their family. It is this motivation that forces them to move ,to work and even to live ,so eveything（everything） will turn out to be uselessness once their jobs lose this strong driving force.（这句话与前面的观点重复了，有些多余） For the majorities ,they work harder in order to improve the living standards of present life for their family, who deserve them do so .However, if they are excessively absorbed into making money and working ,they will soon realize what they have gained  are at the expense of their family, which is far more valuable than the work. Furthermore, if one can get along with his family and find the balance between his family and work, he is likely to work more efficiently ;By contrast, he may bring the negative emotion into his work if he cannot address his family problems well.5 i: a+ a* N/ _" O

In a nutshell(学习了), I  am firmly  convinced by the idea that being with one's family is more important than working. But what need to point out is that as long as he can distribute his time properly and find the balance, he is bound to be a sucessful（successful） man.(有点多余的感觉) 结尾段可以再提炼一下。





注意一些单词的拼写和空格哦，这样改的人也比较好改。
就是句式需要多注意一些，我们总是不小心就冒出了Chinglish的表达方式。加油！！

amanda_qinyyUID: 2632170

3.30
暧暧的修改

outsider.doc (24.5 KB, 下载次数: 17)

2010-3-31 14:04:45 上传

下载次数: 17

stefanie299UID: 2667762

bystefanie299

馋MEUID: 2761685

3.31 （07.11.11）
Advertisements make products seem better than they are


These days , everywhere we look ,we are exposed to advertising. Driving our cars ,we can see the highway billboards which are covered with commercial advertisement; walking around subways, numerous posts are calling for us to buy a certain brand of rum . Thus the issue of whether advertisements make products seem better than they are has caused a heating debate. From my perspective, advertisement have  beautify the image of the real products and  virtually make them seem better than they are.


The first point of mine stands from the view of the purpose of advertisement. Generally , advertisement aim to promote the products and thus increase the profits of a corperation.
To be more specific,  it is the marketers who spare no efforts to advertise their products in order to make money. Regardless the real benefits of the consumers , all they are trying to do is sell their products even they realize that they quality of the products are not so good as what the advertisement is boasting,since it is their job to do so. Take myself as an example, I bought a MP4 last summer from a well-known company and the salesman told me that the longevity of battery  could  last as long as 10hours .However, I finally found out it could just last at most fro 8hours. Therefore, we have to keep in mind that the primary purpose of an advertisement is to promote the products.

On the other hand,  people nowadays tend to buy goods with high quality and excellent craftsmanship, and this in turn provides a platform to marketers to exaggerate their commodities as much as they can. This can be seen  everywhere. For instance, once you are shopping with a couple of your friends , it is quite  common  when thousands of salesmen  introduce you their lateset products lists and persuade you how the goods are
excellent even though they are not actually so . Nevertheless, customers are easily tempted  by the words of the promoters and convinced by the advertisement. And this is what the company want as well .

To sum up . advertisement are buliting up a better image of the products so that  the customers would like to buy, so it is reasonable to argue that they make the products seem better than they actually are.

faye宝UID: 2707915

写的很不好-。-

馋MEUID: 2761685

4.1 （09.3.7）
It better to use own knowledge and experience to solve queation, or ask other people for advice.

When it comes to the issue of whether people should  solve problems based on their own knowledge and experience or turn to others for advice, many individuals will set themselves
in a dilemma. Some people may claim that it is better for one to  make decisions independently, however, from my point of view, it is more wiser to ask others for suggestions rather than deciding alone.

To begin with, one's experience and knowledge is limited due to the insufficient knowledge database he has established,. This can be easily seen from many people, especially those young children who lack rich experiences in dealing with some problems and emergencies. It is universally acknowledged that children in their adolescents are the most rebel one in their growth, so there have to be someone who can give them some useful tips and advice in order to help them ride out the difficulty and direct them the right way, like the psychological counsellor, their tutors or even their parents. They are bound to be more experienced and mature due to their deep insight and informed opinion.


In addition , different suggestions enable one to perceive a certain subject from a new outlook and understand the situation better. To be more specific, the more suggestion they have been offered ,the more broadening their mind will be. Because different individuals have different ideas and thoughts on the same things. As the old saying goes, There are thousands Hamlet in thousands audience' mind. Therefore, different thoughts are likely to ignite more sparks in interpreting the subject,  this is definitely beneficial  to one's thoughts.

Admittedly , sometimes making decisions independently can save time and figure out the problem more efficiently ,but this alone does not provide sufficient support for contending that making decisions alone is better. So I am deeply convinced that only when following advices from many aspects  can one judge things correctly and unbiased.

glly7UID: 2675646

3.31修改