独立小组写作

馋MEUID: 2761685

28# faye宝

你是不是把你的作文发错到我的帖子里了啊

zhisnoopyUID: 2703722

These days , everywhere we look ,we are exposed to advertising（we are exposed to advertising everywhere.感觉这样通点……否则前面那个用逗号分开句子，就两个谓语了。）. Driving our cars ,we can see the highway billboards which are covered with commercial advertisement; walking around subways, numerous posts are calling for us to buy a certain brand of rum . Thus the issue of whether advertisements make products seem better than they are has caused a heating debate. From my perspective, advertisement have  beautify the image of the real products and  virtually make them seem better than they are.* H6 o  ?4 F: N) m

The first point of mine stands from the view of the purpose of advertisement. Generally , advertisement aims to promote the products and thus increase the profits of a corperation. To be more specific,  it is the marketers who spare no efforts to advertise their products in order to make money（这句感觉没谓语，但是不会改……）. Regardless the real benefits of the consumers , all they are trying to do is to sell their products even they realize that they（the笔误？） quality of the products are（is） not so good as（as……as？） what the advertisement is boasting,since it is their job to do so. Take myself as（for） an（去掉） example, I bought a MP4 last summer from a well-known company and the salesman told me that the longevity of battery  could  last as long as 10hours .However, I finally found out it could just last at most for 8 hours. Therefore, we have to keep in mind that the primary purpose of an advertisement is to promote the products.9 A1 x5 b) M4 k- ~) N
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salesman的话，似乎不是广告吧？

On the other hand,  people nowadays tend to buy goods with high quality and excellent craftsmanship, and this in turn provides a platform to marketers to exaggerate their commodities as much as（我理解这里是尽可能多的意思，但是as much as貌似没有这个意思诶～） they can. This can be seen  everywhere. For instance, once you are shopping with a couple of your friends , it is quite  common  when（that） thousands of salesmen  introduce you their lateset products lists and persuade you how the goods are excellent even though they are not actually so . Nevertheless, customers are easily tempted  by the words of the promoters and convinced by the advertisement. And this is what the company want as well .* P9 P# z# F/ Z% K. I6 V8 I

To sum up . advertisement are buliting up a better image of the products so that  the customers would like to buy, so it is reasonable to argue that they make the products seem better than they actually are.

个人感觉例子可以更丰富些～

馋MEUID: 2761685

26# stefanie299
同学，你貌似把你的作为贴在我的本子里了
我找不到你的帖子
就把修改的放在我这喽

stefanie299UID: 2667762

33# 馋ME

啊！！！我发觉乱了乱了，都乱了，你贴的那作文不是我写的。
而我帮爱爱改的作文贴没了！！哇！！！

stefanie299UID: 2667762

3.31

轴轴UID: 2789023

4.1 （09.3.7）
2 \8 K! v) E" t+ X& ^1 P; eIt better to use own knowledge and experience to solve queation, or ask other people for advice.
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When it comes to the issue of whether people should  solve problems based on their own knowledge and experience or turn to others for advice, many individuals will set themselves
2 e6 M' v' @! d1 O3 i% gin a dilemma. Some people may claim that it is better for one to  make decisions independently, however, from my point of view, it is more wiser(wiser) to ask others for suggestions rather than deciding alone.2 X5 e: R# ^9 Q& Z6 O8 ]' I
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To begin with, one's experience and knowledge is limited due to the insufficient knowledge database he has established,. This can be easily seen from many people, especially those young children who lack rich experiences in dealing with some problems and emergencies. It is universally acknowledged that children in their adolescents(adolescence这是名词形式而且 复数不加s) are the most rebel one in their growth, so there have to be someone who can give them some useful tips and advice in order to help them ride out the difficulty and direct them the right way, like the psychological counsellor, their tutors or even their parents.(我觉得这个句子有点长，不是非常顺畅The universally phenomenon is that people become most rebel in their adolescence, so it is necessary to receive advice from someone who can provide some useful tips and advices to help them ride out the difficulty and direct them a right way.我写的可能也不太好…… ) They are bound to be more experienced and mature due to(最好别用两次一样的关联词 ) their deep insight and informed opinion.  Q, B0 h1 N  T
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In addition , different suggestions enable one to perceive a certain subject from a new outlook and understand the situation better. To be more specific, the more suggestion they have been offered(obtained) ,the more broadening their mind will be. Because different individual have different ideas and thoughts on the same things. (Because different individual have different idea and thought on the same thing. )As the old saying goes, There are thousands Hamlet in thousands audience' mind. Therefore, different thoughts are likely to ignite more sparks in interpreting the subject,  this is definitely beneficial  to one's thoughts. / e  R7 `+ ?# u* s) ?' H
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Admittedly , sometimes making decisions independently can save time and figure out the problem more efficiently ,but this alone does not provide sufficient support for contending that making decisions alone is better. So I am deeply convinced that only when following advices from many aspects can one judge things correctly and unbiased.

cyscyscys1UID: 2771489

4.1 （09.3.7）+ `) o1 a/ \4 x
It better to use own knowledge and experience to solve queation, or ask other people for advice.1 I) ?8 z2 C& f' w+ L
it comes to the issue of whether people should  solve problems based on their own knowledge and experience or turn to others for advice, many individuals will set themselves
in a dilemma. Some people may claim that it is better for one to make decisions independently, however, from my point of view, it is more wiser to ask others for suggestions rather than deciding alone.
(首段句法用词其实都没有什么问题 但是我个人觉得第一段那么大篇幅就只是说明了你认为ask others for suggestions是更好的 而没有其他任何有意义的话 有点套模版的感觉 可能不能得很高的分 看了很多高分作文 我个人觉得最好再第一段用一两句话引出观点 然后紧接着在第一段的结尾暗含一下本文的结构 这样考官看起来会比较顺畅 得高分的可能性也会比较大)

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To begin with, one's experience and knowledge is limited due to the insufficient knowledge database he has established,. This can be easily seen（seen easily都行 这样看起来顺点） from many people, especially those young children who lack rich experiences（rich删掉比较好） in dealing with some problems and emergencies. It is universally acknowledged that children in their adolescents are the most rebel（没有most rebel的这个用法的） one in their growth, so there have to be someone who can give them some useful tips and advice in order to help them ride out the difficulty and direct them the right way, like the psychological counselors, their tutors or even their parents. They are bound to be more experienced and mature due to their deep insight and informed opinion.

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In addition , different suggestions enable one to perceive a certain subject from a new outlook and understand the situation better. To be more specific, the more suggestion they have been offered ,the more broadening their mind will be. Because different individuals have different ideas and thoughts on the same things. As the old saying goes, There are thousands Hamlet in thousands audience' mind. Therefore, different thoughts are likely to ignite more sparks in interpreting the subject,  this（this改成which） is definitely beneficial  to one's thoughts.


Admittedly , （Although）sometimes making decisions independently can save time and figure out the problem more efficiently ,but(删除but) this alone（改成this way）
does not provide sufficient support for contending that making decisions alone is better. So I am deeply convinced that only when following advices from many aspects can one judge things correctly and unbiased.（最后再突出主题的时候 建议把many aspects改成other people）

用词 句式什么都还蛮好的啦 就是第一段的段落布局上还可以再提高一下！加油喔！

馋MEUID: 2761685

4.2 （08.12.5）3 w' N# Q5 [4 h4 E
Playing sports teaches people lessons about life.

Sports, as a form of entertainment, has always been playing an impotant role in human's society, for the reason that it can relieve and reduce the pressure from our work and life. But is this all what sports mean to be ? Of course not. From my perspective, sports, from an another aspect, enable us to learn lessons in our daily  life.

First of all , sports lead us better ways to understand when should we give up. To be more specific, it is sports
that teach us that sometimes you have to give up temporarily in order to  gain more opportunities to compete with your rivals. Some people may contend that once we stand on the sports fields, we should constantly remind ourselves that as long as we carry on and face the compititon confidently ,we are bound to be the winner. But I think the one who quit the game in order to gain another chance in future is the genuine winner. Take Liuxiang , the winner in huddle race in 2008 Olympic games, for example. In one of the game his foot got hurt and  was unable to continued this competition. On the spot ,numerous spectators were
eagerly to see his performance. However, he  dropped it. Dare we say he is not brave enough or lack perseverance to finish this game? The only thing we could say is that it is wise for him to terminate and make preparation for his comeback. Therefore, sports help us understand that sometimes giving up doesn't equal surrender.


Furthermore, sports prompt us to learn how to cooperate with other members. There is no deny that we are living in a society where people are closely related with each other, so it is
inevitable that conflicts and disagreement will appear. While sports make us realize that we are being a team once  we stand on the battlefield. That is the core of teamwork. Besides,a team is likely to achieve something that cannot be done alone, only when we work together and to be unified as a whole can we beat our rivals.

In a nutshell ,sports  is not existing as a mere form of entertaining acticity any longer. Instead, it helps us understand life ,enjoy life and interpret life .

ly8768UID: 2452066

38# 馋ME
有什么可以交流

馋MEUID: 2761685

4.3 （08.5.17）( A2 y9 k7 j) p+ V. }2 T6 B
It's better to watch serious movies to get deeper think or watch movies that amuse or entertain you.

Movies, with its wide availability and increasing popularity ,becomes an indispensable part of people's daily life. More than a form of entertaining activity , some movies can inspire people's way of thinking .So some people suggest that we'd better watch serious movies instead of amusing movies. However, I firmly believe amusing movies benefit people more  for the following reasons;

To begin with ,movies with amusing stories are primarily related to some positive thoughts,which can inspire and encourage people greatly. To be more specific, amusing movies ,especially those comedies, usually end up with a good result and thus motivate people to look ahead and move toward a better direction. For example ,whenever I am distresses and upset, I will turn to comedies ,which makes me feel better and lead me to believe that everything is going to be fine and  I have to face the setbacks and solve them with an optimistic attitude.

In addition, some funny movies enable us to relax and relieve the pressure from our work and studies. Undeniable, funny movies are commonly ploted with a series of amusing scenarios. Therefore, people who watch them naturally cannot help but laughing, By doing so ,all the stress and some unpleasant experience can be removed temporarily. This can be seen universally ,particularly in this fast paced society ,people who suffer from great pressure are likely to turn to movies to find pleasure and enjoyment.

Admittedly ,serious movies can give people some deeper thoughts ,but this alone doesn't mean that we should always watch them and ignore the original purpose of movies, which aim to entertain people .So I'm convinced that by  inspiring positive thoughts and offering pleasure, amusing movies will continue to flourish in our society.

ly8768UID: 2452066

40# 馋ME

馋MEUID: 2761685

4.7 (08.3.2); m1 P0 a  w1 a% s4 ?9 U
The best way to travel is in a group led by a tour guide.

Tourism, with its increasing popularity and wide availability ,is not the privilege of rich people any more. And the issue of whether people should travel in a group by a tour guide or not has caused quite a stir. Personally, I am convinced that traveling by a guide is the best way for the following reasons:

To begin with, a guide serves  as the purpose of  leading you to better understand a certain touring site. With the diversification  of the touring sites these days ,people is eager to explore more sites which they are unfamiliar with , so a guide is indispensable in the trip since they are able to explain to you the historical background and some related stories .Only in this way can you fully comprehend the information the site is trying to deliver . According to a latest survey conducted by Harvard University, about 70%the tourists know few about the sites they are going to visit. Therefore , it can be seen clearly that the role of a guide is undeniable.

Besides , a guide enable tourists to have to a carefree holiday as they have already arranged everything for their customers. As  traveling sets out to relax people and relieve the pressure from their work and study, people should leave the decisions to the guider to decide the routes of the tour, the hotels to live and such trifles. It is hard to image one is trying to enjoy holiday while preparing checking the proper routes, the location of the hotels and so on. Once  a guide helps you plan your trip , the trip is becoming much easier.

Besides , it is relatively practical for people to be led by a guide. Since guides are quite familiar are with the touring sites ,the airplane corporation and the hotels, people are bound to get a discount when following them. For example , last summer I went to Disneyland with a guide and he offered me a 50% discount air ticket to Hongkong.

Admittedly , traveling alone gives one more freedom and choices .While taking all the above factors into consideration , I hold the view that traveling by a guide provides me better chances to get to know the sites and enjoy my trip.

jack878UID: 2650029

4.7 revised by jack878 , 请见附件

zhezhe1011UID: 2656203

4.7   revised by zhezhe1011

馋MEUID: 2761685

4.9
8 C% u: M0 p& U  g3 B6 GUniversities should give every member of the team the same grade when the team finishes a project.

When it comes to the whether university should give every member of the team the same grade when they finish a project together, people's ideas aren't cut from the same cloth. Some individuals argue that it is unfair to grade them with the same remark, since some students are unwilling to fulfill their responsibilities as a team member. However, I am fully convinced that both students will benefit from the process to a great extent when  cooperating with each other.

Thee first point of mine stands on the fact that by marking them equally ,students are likely to understand the spirit of teamwork better. To be more specific, the aim of teamwork is to finish a certain project which cannot done by oneself. Therefore, only when a team work collectively can they accomplish the task more efficiently . Besides , in the process of working together, every member can gather the data from various resources ,which makes the result of the research more fruitful instead of just restricted  in   a  specific area. That is the core of teamwork. Accordingly , the whole team are bound to get a higher mark.

In addition , team member can motivate and supervise each other  to make contributions to the team. When a team are working toward same goal ,they will become more passionate and energetic because they understand that they are not just fighting for themselves ,but the whole team. This sense of responsibility and glory urge them to work harder . For example , if I am assigned with a task to be done alone , I will less unmotivated since I know my grade has nothing to do with others .But when I am in a team , the case is totally different. Even though I am unwilling to finish the project, my teamates will monitor and encourage me to make great efforts, they wil constantly remind me that our grades are related closely  . So this is a good way to acheive a higher mark as well.

To sum up , I still deeply believe that working together can not only improve the efficiency and productivity of a team , team members can benefit from this process as well.