[66's]同题 Argument73

zoeyczUID: 2621425

TOPIC: ARGUMENT73 - The following appearedin a memo from a manager of a car dealership.

"Ten years ago, long-term car leasingbecame available in our country of Mohilia as an alternative to outright carownership, and leasing has steadily risen in popularity. For each of the lastfive years, the number of people leasing new cars has surpassed the numberbuying new cars. The average age of cars driven in Mohilia is six years; hence,if new car leases again outnumber purchases this year, it is likely that themajority of drivers will be driving leased, not individually owned, cars.Therefore, we should change the focus of our business from selling cars toleasing them."
WORDS: 509
TIME: 01:53:23
DATE: 2010-3-19 11:50:20

The author argues that the company shouldswerve its business focus from selling cars to leasing them. To support hisclaim, he provides the data of leasing versus purchasing and average age ofcars. However, the evidence is flawed and the reasoning is not well-developed,which makes it indefensible through close scrutiny.

First of all, the author implies that thenumber of people leasing new cars outstrips the number buying new carsindicates that leasing is more popular than purchasing. Yet, this may be nottrue. For one thing, leasing cars may be for a short period, and chances arethat some people who cannot afford a car leases cars for one-day use severaltimes in a year, thus boost the number of people leasing cars. While on theother hand, buying cars is a one-time thing, not as flexible as leasing. Foranother thing, leasing and buying cars may not be on an exact oppositeposition. It is possible that in Mohilia, car sellers don't provide any tryoutfor the potential buyers, so they have to lease cars to try it out themselvesto make the final decision which car to buy. If this is the case, the fact thatthe number of people leasing cars surpasses the number of buying them providesno demonstration that leasing cars are more popular now.

Next, the author concludes that themajority of drivers will be driving leased cars with the fact that average ageof cars driven is six years and leasing cars outnumber purchasing ones. But hefails to consider the possibility that if the majority of cars driven now is boughtsix years ago, and the portion of cars purchased and leased is relatively smalldue to financial recession in the last five years. Even if there are moreleasing cars in road than purchasing, it by no means illustrates that thistrend will continue. Chances are that the financial recession that thwartspeople purchasing cars in the last five years is going to an end, and morepeople now are expecting a new car owned by themselves in the coming new year.

Last but not the least, the author suggeststhe business transition on the base of profit, but he overlooks how profit ismade up. Common sense told us that profit is equal to revenue deducting cost,while revenue equals to price per unit timing amount. The author bases all hisargument on a simple discuss of amount alone with no regards to unit price orcost is not persuasive to substantiate his point that a business transitionwill bring more profits.

In conclusion, the author fails to show usa justified trends that leasing cars are more popular to purchasing orillustrate us a substantiated conclusion that the requirements will be huge ordemonstrate us a persuasive spectacle that the profits will be boosted with hissuggestion. He needs to value his decision from more aspects like cost, unitprice, marketing requirements and trends and offers more convincing evidencesto make me accept his suggestion.

soilinkinUID: 2163892

The author argues that the company should swerve its business focus from selling cars to leasing them. To support his claim, he provides the data of leasing versus purchasing and average age of cars. However, the evidence is flawed and the reasoning is not well-developed, which makes it indefensible through close scrutiny.

First of all, the author implies that the number of people leasing new cars outstrips the number buying new cars indicates that leasing is more popular than purchasing.（这句结构有没有问题） Yet, this may be not true. For one thing, leasing cars may be for a short period, and chances are that some people who cannot afford a car leases cars for one-day use several times in a year, thus boost the number of people leasing cars. While on the other hand, buying cars is a one-time thing, not as flexible as leasing. For another thing, leasing and buying cars may not be on an exact opposite position. It is possible that in Mohilia, car sellers don't provide any tryout for the potential buyers, so they have to lease cars to try it out themselves to make the final decision which car to buy. If this is the case, the fact that the number of people leasing cars surpasses the number of buying them provides no demonstration that leasing cars are more popular now.

Next, the author concludes that the majority of drivers will be driving leased cars with the fact that average age of cars driven is six years and leasing cars outnumber purchasing ones. But he fails to consider the possibility that if the majority of cars driven now is bought six years ago, and the portion of cars purchased and leased is relatively small due to financial recession in the last five years. Even if there are more leasing cars in road than purchasing, it by no means illustrates that this trend will continue. Chances are that the financial recession that thwarts people purchasing cars in the last five years is going to an end, and more people now are expecting a new car owned by themselves in the coming new year.（个人认为这个错误是6年与是否租车无关，并没有证据表明6年后汽车报废了人们到底是租车还是买车…街上跑的车的比例并不决定dealer们的重点应该在哪里…未来趋势才能决定…）

Last but not the least, the author suggests the business transition on the base of profit, but he overlooks how profit is made up. Common sense told us that profit is equal to revenue deducting cost, while revenue equals to price per unit timing amount. The author bases all his argument on a simple discuss of amount alone with no regards to unit price or cost is not persuasive to substantiate his point that a business transition will bring more profits.

In conclusion, the author fails to show us a justified trends that leasing cars are more popular to purchasing or illustrate us a substantiated conclusion that the requirements will be huge or demonstrate us a persuasive spectacle that the profits will be boosted with his suggestion. He needs to value his decision from more aspects like cost, unit price, marketing requirements and trends and offers more convincing evidences to make me accept his suggestion.

文章一贯的好…没啥可说的了…

zoeyczUID: 2621425

The author argues that the company should swerve its business focus from selling cars to leasing them. To support his claim, he provides the data of leasing versus purchasing and average age of cars. However, the evidence is flawed and the reasoning is not well-developed, which makes it indefensible through close scrutiny.

First of all, the author implies that the number of people leasing new cars outstrips the number buying new cars indicates that leasing is more popular than purchasing.（这句结构有没有问题）//绝对有问题，word没查出来。=> the author implies that the number of people leasing new cars outstripping the number of buying indicates leasing being more popular than purchasing. //这样呢？我可怕的语法啊~Yet, this may be not true. For one thing, leasing cars may be for a short period, and chances are that some people who cannot afford a car leases cars for one-day use several times in a year, thus boost the number of people leasing cars. While on the other hand, buying cars is a one-time thing, not as flexible as leasing. For another thing, leasing and buying cars may not be on an exact opposite position. It is possible that in Mohilia, car sellers don't provide any tryout for the potential buyers, so they have to lease cars to try it out themselves to make the final decision which car to buy. If this is the case, the fact that the number of people leasing cars surpasses the number of buying them provides no demonstration that leasing cars are more popular now.

Next, the author concludes that the majority of drivers will be driving leased cars with the fact that average age of cars driven is six years and leasing cars outnumber purchasing ones. But he fails to consider the possibility that if the majority of cars driven now is bought six years ago, and the portion of cars purchased and leased is relatively small due to financial recession in the last five years. Even if there are more leasing cars in road than purchasing, it by no means illustrates that this trend will continue. Chances are that the financial recession that thwarts people purchasing cars in the last five years is going to an end, and more people now are expecting a new car owned by themselves in the coming new year.（个人认为这个错误是6年与是否租车无关，并没有证据表明6年后汽车报废了人们到底是租车还是买车…街上跑的车的比例并不决定dealer们的重点应该在哪里…未来趋势才能决定…）//关于这一点在你的文章里面我加了讨论，希望数学敏感的朋友来帮帮忙，我列了半天公式也没证明到我的point，但总感觉有点关系

Last but not the least, the author suggests the business transition on the base of profit, but he overlooks how profit is made up. Common sense told us that profit is equal to revenue deducting cost, while revenue equals to price per unit timing amount. //我一直对这句话的语法充满疑惑，X=Y-Z到底有哪几种表示方法呢？The author bases all his argument on a simple discuss of amount alone with no regards to unit price or cost is not persuasive to substantiate his point that a business transition will bring more profits.

In conclusion, the author fails to show us a justified trends that leasing cars are more popular to purchasing or illustrate us a substantiated conclusion that the requirements will be huge or demonstrate us a persuasive spectacle that the profits will be boosted with his suggestion. He needs to value his decision from more aspects like cost, unit price, marketing requirements and trends and offers more convincing evidences to make me accept his suggestion.

soilinkinUID: 2163892

第一句改了之后倒是没问题了...但是感觉主语太多的句子还是容易引起歧义...建议这种句子还是分开来写比较好...当然并不是怀疑你的水平...
第二个错误那里我又琢磨了下...应该是我的理解有误...你说的是对的...他的结论都是建立在6年之后汽车必然报废的基础上的...所以那个average是问题所在...我错在直接用这个结论到大结论的错误而不是这个reasoning的错误了...
最后这个语法应该没有问题...其他的表达方式我还没想到...能否不用公式化的表达呢？我想想...