watergood的作文贴

watergoodUID: 2691519

第一次发帖，请大家指正
What quality would guarantee a student to obtain success? Is it that someone who is good at arranging hisstuffs would obtain more chance to succeed? Some people might be right to claimthat it is ridiculous to judge a student potential of success just from his room organization. They stand on the grounds that it is possible that astudent pay more attention to other relatively important issues, such as studyand sports. Therefore they ignore to organize their rooms. From my point of view, however, I totally have an opposite ideaover this issue and here goes my explanation.
Firstly, it is widely acceptedthat the well-organized habit is beneficial for people in various aspects. Peoplewho are well-organized tend to make plans and carry out their plan rigidly. Asa consequence, they could make good use of their time and other resources. Ifpeople are orderless, they may do nothing but make amess of everything. For example, James who is a sophomore wants to takeTOEFL this semester while there are heavy burden of academicto handle. If he does not make a practical and effectiveschedule in advance, he would get goodresults in neither TOEFL nor his academiccourses. This case is not unique and there are numerous proof to show thatwell-organized students are more likely to succeed when they grow up. Accordingto a recent survey conducted by a university shows that 80% students who arewell-organized are easier to succeed than students who are not.
Secondly, an equally importantfactor lies in my point is that most people are likely to support those peoplewho are well-organized. In other words, well-organized people are welcome bythe society. These helps from other people definitelywould play an essential role in one’s success. For instance, Colin is preparingto design a robot as to take part in a mechaniccontest. During this process, he encounters a couple of thorny problems which obstruct him badly. Thanks to his well-organized disposition and reputation,his roommates and tutorsall are ready to help him out. As a result, he completeshis work before the deadline and wins awonderful place in the contest.
Admitted, some people are reasonable to express theirconcern that it is a waste of time and energy in keeping everything clean andclear, people should place more emphasis on the really important things.However, the benefits of well-organized quality brought about far outweigh itsminor drawbacks, thus it is sagacious to suggest that every students shouldcultivate the well-organized quality.
In conclusion, I believe that although keeping room well organizedmay take up students some time, it is a good way to mold the well-organized characterand can win them splendid reputation among their friends and classmates. Wecould make plan to take good use of our time so that we can enjoy more favorable results brought by the well-organized quality.

macaoUID: 2404395

What quality would guarantee a student to obtain success? Is it that someone who is good at arranging hisstuffs would obtain （跟上面重复了 可以换个词 ex。Acquire gain attain）more chance to succeed? Some people might be right to claimthat it is ridiculous to judge a student potential of success just from his room organization. They stand on the grounds that it is possible that astudent pay（s） more attention to other relatively important issues, such as studyand sports. Therefore they ignore to organize their rooms. From my point of view, however, I totally have an opposite ideaover this issue and here goes my explanation.
Firstly, it is widely acceptedthat the well-organized habit is beneficial for people in various aspects. Peoplewho are well-organized tend to make plans and carry out their plan rigidly.好 Asa consequence, they could make good use of their time and other resources. Ifpeople are orderless（？）, they may do nothing but make amess of everything. For example, James who is a sophomore wants to takeTOEFL this semester while there are heavy burden of academicto handle. If he does not make a practical and effectiveschedule in advance, he would get goodresults in neither TOEFL nor his academiccourses. This case is not unique and there are numerous proof to show thatwell-organized students are more likely to succeed when they grow up. Accordingto a recent survey conducted by a university shows that 80% students who arewell-organized are easier to succeed than students who are not. （这个调查是真的吗） 这段递进的有点突然，james的例子也有些突兀，你可以举屋子不干净然后东西找不到之类的例子啊; q" B& N) S0 @2 _' [
Secondly, an equally importantfactor lies in my point is that most people are likely to support those peoplewho are well-organized. In other words, well-organized people are welcome bythe society. These helps from other people definitelywould play an essential role in one’s success. For instance, Colin is preparingto design a robot as to take part in a mechaniccontest. During this process, he encounters a couple of thorny problems which obstruct him badly. Thanks to his well-organized disposition and reputation,his roommates and tutorsall are ready to help him out. As a result, he completeshis work before the deadline and wins awonderful place in the contest.  这一段写得不好，离题了! |: C$ U) Q9 }% f# ?7 P9 y
Admitted, some people are reasonable to express theirconcern that it is a waste of time and energy in keeping everything clean andclear, people should place more emphasis on the really important things.However, the benefits of well-organized quality brought about far outweigh itsminor drawbacks, thus it is sagacious to suggest that every students shouldcultivate the well-organized quality.
In conclusion, I believe that although keeping room well organizedmay take up students some time, it is a good way to mold the well-organized characterand can win them splendid reputation among their friends and classmates. Wecould make plan to take good use of our time so that we can enjoy more favorable results brought by the well-organized quality.

我也是第一次改作文，提不出太多建设性意见，你的文笔功力挺不错的，但是文章结构重点还不是抓的很到位，没事，慢慢来嘛，加油祝你成功