Issue130求拍

panzichaoUID: 2385113

第一次写，没有限时。离考试还有20多天了，求拍！！
TOPIC: ISSUE130 - "How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."
WORDS: 585
TIME: 03:03:52
DATE: 2010-3-21 12:53:58

The speaker claims that the destiny of our society depends on how children are socialized, and also claims that we have not yet learn how to educate our children. So far as I am concerned, I concede that the speaker's second claim is reasonable according to some phenomenon in our society, but the speaker's first assertion seems specious, and is an over-statement at best.

Admittedly, socialization is one of the critical factors which will greatly influence the characteristics of children when they grow up. If a child is not provided enough chances to healthily interact with other children in his or her childhood, that child may become an incomplete person who will have many flaws in his or her mentality, and these flaws may prevent the child from contributing to build a better society.

Although socialization plays an important role during the growth stage of children, it is hardly the only factor. And in my point of view, it is even not the most significant one. There exist many other critical factors such as self-confidence, parental influence, raw intelligence, which can determine the personality of our children. Many achievements of great persons in human history are actually attributable to these factors, rather than the socialization in their childhood.
A typical example is Thomas Edison, who is considered one of the most prolific inventors in history. Most of his inventions, including the electric light which became available after numerous of failure, are mainly due to his personal conviction and insatiable desire for knowledge instead of socialization, since it is well known that Edison left school in an early age and educated by his mother at home during his childhood.

When considering the speaker's second claim that we have not yet learned how to educate our children, I basically agree with the speaker's opinion. Admittedly, we have never withdraw the effort to develop(develop) perfect prelimentary(preliminary) education systems for our children. Up to now, however, some critical defects have not yet been eliminated from these systems. In China, for instance, too much emphasis has been place on children's performance in tests. This trends(trend) will kill children's curiosity about the unknown world and restrain them from innovating in their study. Growing up in such a kind of education system, our children will become nothing but a test machine.

Even though a perfect education system is developed, it is still not sufficient. While accentuating the importance of formal education in school, we should not ignore the power of parental influence, as the saying goes "Parents are the first teacher of their children". Many parents, however, fail to realize their significant role in raising their children. In their opinion, what they should do is just earning enough money to make sure that the children's material needs such as new clothes, new toys and enough pocket money can be fully satisfied. I concede money is essential in raising our children, but in most situations, what our children really need is to have a more frequent interaction with their parents. But unfortunately, this kind of mental needs is often neglected.

In sum, although socialization is important in raising our children, it cannot be the only factor which determines the destiny of society. We should not ignore some other key factors such as personal conviction, self-confidence and parental influence. And while we are always trying to build a better environment for educating our children, in my opinion, we have not done enough and there are still a lot of things we should do.

红字部分为拼写错误。