Issue147 2010.03.22

明天的鞋子UID: 2639625

Issue 147: Tradition and modernization are incompatible. One must choose between them.
传统和现代化是水火不容的。人们必须二者选一。

西卡鲁的issue提纲思路（适用于对于部分issue）：
首先，肯定issue中的现象存在，分层进行讨论举例：
如（1）客观（2）主观；（1）个人（2）集体/社会；（1）曾经（2）现在……
然后，提出相反情况存在的可能性，并同样分层进行讨论举例：
最后，提出自己观点，综述结尾。

words:329 字数有待扩充....

首段开篇
China is such a country with five thousand years history which is famous for the Great wall, the Forbidden City and the Beijing Opera, etc. Meanwhile, China is also a country with many modern elements, such as the Bird’ s Nest, the water Cube, R&B and so on.


承认传统和现代化存在冲突
(1)在物质层面上，例证
（2）在文化层面上，例证
Admittedly, there are some conflicts between tradition and modernization both in the material level and the cultural level. For example, the Beijing Courtyard is a typical traditional Chinese construction. However, it almost disappears nowadays just because it's out of date and doesn’t suit the style of modern city. Meanwhile, we Chinese were used to wear long hairs and ancient costume, in this modern society, man don’t wear long hair like the style in Qing dynasty any more, as well as the ancient costume.

但是，传统和现代化也是可以相融合的，举例
However, there is no denying that tradition and modernization can coexist very well. The 2008 Olympic Games has been held in Beijing successfully, the Opening Ceremony is especially impressive, which combined the traditional Chinese culture and modern art perfectly. The Chinese ancient musical instruments called ”Fou” was equipped with LED pane so as to give out light with the beat. This is a typical and perfect combination of tradition and modernization. In China, there is a very famous singer called Chen sheng wrote a popular song named “One Night in Beijing”, which is a R&B-style song mixed the Beijing Opera, It’s very pleasant and harmonious. Frankly speaking, we want to get modernized, which may means development or going forward. But we can’t throw away the things old but valuable, every day passed can be called “tradition”, which is the foundation of modernization, only after absorbing the essence of tradition can we be better modernized in the future.

结语
To sum up, although there are definitely some conflicts between tradition and modernization, they are not incompatible. As long as we know how to balance the relationship of tradition and modernization, we human beings can live a better life in a better future.

starshaneUID: 2616355

1# 明天的鞋子

首段开篇
China is such a country with five thousand years history which is famous for the Great wall, the Forbidden City and the Beijing Opera, etc. Meanwhile, China is also a country with many modern elements, such as the Bird’ s Nest, the water Cube, R&B and so on.
不是吧，这是你的开篇？……
你说“中国有悠久历史传统又有现代化元素”，是一上来就举例子？没有论点的？
这种写法很新颖啊……

承认传统和现代化存在冲突
(1)在物质层面上，例证
（2）在文化层面上，例证
Admittedly, there are some conflicts between tradition and modernization both in the material level and the cultural level. For example, the Beijing Courtyard is a typical traditional Chinese construction. However, it almost disappears nowadays just because it's out of date and doesn’t suit the style of modern city. Meanwhile, we Chinese were used to （你想表达我们“习惯于”还是“过去曾”？）wear long hairs and ancient costume, in this modern society, man don’t wear long hair like the style in Qing dynasty any more, as well as the ancient costume.
我觉得缺乏论证啊……个人不是很习惯只摆要点就举例，要把推理出要点的论据写出来吧。比如说传统和现代化存在冲突，这个冲突是怎么来的，为什么？全段我只看到一句就是“四合院过时了不符合现代城市”，这句分析也不够深刻吧，为什么就不符合了？传统和现代化的冲突根源是什么？比如北美范文中讲精美的建筑物过时，是说它“安全系数低，不能满足现代需求”，相较而言这种论证更具说服力。

但是，传统和现代化也是可以相融合的，举例
However, there is no denying that tradition and modernization can coexist very well. The 2008 Olympic Games has been held in Beijing successfully, the Opening Ceremony is especially impressive, which combined the traditional Chinese culture and modern art perfectly. The Chinese ancient musical instruments called ”Fou” was equipped with LED pane so as to give out light with the beat. This is a typical and perfect combination of tradition and modernization. In China, there is a very famous singer called Chen sheng wrote a popular song named “One Night in Beijing”, which is a R&B-style song mixed the Beijing Opera, It’s very pleasant and harmonious. Frankly speaking, we want to get modernized, which may means development or going forward. But we can’t throw away the things old but valuable, every day passed can be called “tradition”, which is the foundation of modernization, only after absorbing the essence of tradition can we be better modernized（人要怎么被现代化？Chingnish了点，可以说we can better realize modernization in a comprehensive way） in the future.

论证过程摆在段末最后两句，感觉不是太好，考官可能看到前面两个例子就过了。同样论证也缺乏深度，陈述“我们要现代化，但是我们又不能丢弃有价值的传统”，我只看到一句有效论证“传统是现代化的基础，只有在吸收了传统的精华后我们才能实现现代化”



结语
To sum up, although there are definitely some conflicts between tradition and modernization, they are not incompatible. As long as we know how to balance the relationship of tradition and modernization, we human beings can live a better life in a better future.
为了全面，大家都很喜欢各大五十大板的写法，但你这样一篇文章全文就只有一句清楚的论证，然后各举两个例子，我觉得略显单薄。用weasel的话来讲就是，论证有点“无话可说”。