【big fish】3月25日Issue48-by jjooyy

jjooyyUID: 2704028

TOPIC: ISSUE130 - "How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."

A recent official survey indicates that more than 73 percent of people do not know how to educate children to socialize well. The statistics shows how helpless people feel about kids' education. However, are they really need to teach children to socialize well? From my perspective, socialization and innovation should keep a balance in teaching children, and people hardly know how to educate their children.

First of all, to socialize children is to make them better contribute to society, which, obviously, is essential for their future, as well as for society as a whole. Being a mature adult is more about socialization than getting knowledge of what one ought to know. It is not rare for people to believe one that properly behaves and rational acts is mature, even though he or she may not be over 18. Further, the moment one goes to work, one learns to deal with problems in a socialized way, and that makes a different between students and employees, or adults and teenagers. Additionally, to socialize is to understand people with various jobs in society, to think about other people when reaching out to one's goal and to communicate with others thoughtfully. In that way, could one fit the competitions and seize the opportunities in society. Therefore, to socialize children leads their better future development in work and daily life.

On the other hand, not only socialization, but also innovation determines children's future, and therefore underlies the destiny of society. Easily fitting the circumstances does not always make one do a excellent job. Instead, the ability of finding new ways helps one figure out the solutions to the problems and even advances society. Albert Eintein, for instance, started to cast doubt on Newton's classic laws of motions, and formulated the theory of relativity when he was nineteen. Obviously, his later achievement of the theory should be derived from his spirit of innovation when he was young. With early cultivation of finding new solutions to problems, one could also be distinguish from others, and make a difference to himself and to society.

Finally, when facing with complex modern society, the vast majority of people even feel confused about their own values and ideas, let along educating children. Nowadays, people tend to do less than before, with the abundance of contemporary media and the following information accomplishing more work for them. To get children informed, which is a major target for everyone in society, parents, teachers and relatives rush to help kids learn how to use televions, computers and the like. As a result of spending a long time with media, children, under an impression of advertisements and other exciting stuff in media, know what televisions say and computers tell, usually useless and confusing, rather than remembering what families and teachers teach. In this sense, people somehow do not know clearly how to raise a child to a person who are responsible for the future, otherwise, they will not send them to be educated by modern media.

In sum, both socialization and innovation play an indispensable role in children contributing to countries in the future. However, many have few ideas about how to educate children to a success person, and have to let them be taught by massive media.
第三段 今天才凑上去，好欠打 好无语。。。今天实在写的不连贯，请猛批～

wowoyuweiweiUID: 2754055

A recent official survey indicates that more than 73 percent of people do not know how to educate children to socialize well. The statistics shows how helpless people feel about kids' education你这推断的逻辑貌似不是很顺利成章，人家不知道，没准也不想知道，怎么就hopeless了？. However, are they really need to teach children to socialize well? From my perspective, socialization and innovation （这个是怎么就出来了）should keep a balance in teaching children, and people hardly know how to educate their children.

First of all, to socialize children is to make them better contribute to society, which, obviously, is essential for their future, as well as for society as a whole. Being a mature adult is more about socialization than getting knowledge of what one ought to know. It is not rare for people to believe one that properly behaves and rational acts is mature, even though he or she may not be over 18这句话想表达什么？. Further, the moment one goes to work, one learns to deal with problems in a socialized way, （and）that makes a different between students and employees, or adults and teenagers. Additionally, to socialize is to understand people with various jobs in society, to think about other people when reaching out to one's goal and to communicate with others thoughtfully. In that way, could one fit the competitions and seize the opportunities in society.这个跟怎么就从上文的论述总结出来了？ Therefore, to socialize children leads their better future development in work and daily life.

On the other hand, not only socialization, but also innovation determines children's future, and therefore underlies the destiny of society. Easily fitting the circumstances does not always make one do a excellent job. （这句话放在前面就说会比较好，不然直接提到innovation有点突兀）Instead, the ability of finding new ways helps one figure out the solutions to the problems and even advances society. Albert Eintein, for instance, started to cast doubt on Newton's classic laws of motions, and formulated the theory of relativity when he was nineteen. Obviously, his later achievement of the theory should be derived from his spirit of innovation when he was young. With early cultivation of finding new solutions to problems, one could also be distinguish from others, and make a difference to himself and to society.

Finally, when facing with complex modern society, the vast majority of people even feel confused about their own values and ideas, let along educating children. Nowadays, people tend to do less than before, with the abundance of contemporary media and the following information accomplishing more work for them. To get children informed, which is a major target for everyone in society, parents, teachers and relatives rush to help kids learn how to use televions, computers and the like. As a result of spending a long time with media, children, under an impression of advertisements and other exciting stuff in media, know what televisions say and computers tell, usually useless and confusing, rather than remembering what families and teachers teach. In this sense, people somehow do not know clearly how to raise a child to a person who are responsible for the future, otherwise, they will not send them to be educated by modern media.
怎么只有关于电视等媒体的教育引导，其他的方面？要是能结合你的上两段来讲如何教育就更好了，感觉不紧凑
In sum, both socialization and innovation play an indispensable role in children contributing to countries in the future. However, many have few ideas about how to educate children to a success person, and have to let them be taught by massive media.

你这逗号好多。。。怎么就没几个句号啊？我觉得可以增加点从句或者就直接句号。