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发表于 2010-4-7 09:35:27 |只看该作者
4.6

4.6amendment.doc

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发表于 2010-4-7 21:26:34 |只看该作者
加油啊!

According to my understanding of people.pdf

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发表于 2010-4-7 22:21:11 |只看该作者
I generally agree with the assertion that the best way to travel is in a group led by a tour guide. A guide who is very familiar with the place we travel can show us the most worthy tour sits using the least of time. It saves us the time of planning by offering us a well-planned route. Besides, going with a group is much safer than travel alone. Though group travel has some defects, its good points out win the defects.

A guide proves worthy by proving the most exciting tourist resorts and saving visitors time and money. When tourists are new to a place, a guide is needed to accommodate them and provide all the information needed for a perfect trip. A trip to mountains or national parks can be very dangerous, for the serious terrain and poisonous plants or animals. About one year ago, I and a friend go to climb mountains located in another province. Though we have spent of a lot time and energy to make good plans of the itinerate thinking we have prepared everything well, we got lost in the mysterious hills. After climbing over a hill thinking of a way out, we got nearly desperate by finding ourselves faced with another hill. Just as we went out of confidence, we caught sight of farmer across a few hills. Yelling with all the strength for help, he heard us and pointed a route for us. I dread of climbing mountains alone since then. Though my experience is somewhat to extreme, guides prove very useful in solving our problems and saving our time if we are caught in problems in a new environment, because they are the experts of the region.  

Travelling in group guarantees our safety. I have always considered it unsafe to travel alone. Without other people to take care, make proper suggestions and warn of dangers, I will not begin a journey. I will certainly depend on a guide to guarantee my safety while showing me around. Safety should not be limited to physical safety but should involve the quality of food, the health condition of the restaurant, the quality of goods or memorial and so on. Newcomers are easy to be cheated and fooled by local dwellers, so a good guide need to be chosen to guarantee a enjoying and safe trip.

Though some people may argue that we will lose the happiness of exploring if we are guided, it matters a little for we do not have enough time to explore all the tourist residents by ourselves, not to mention the large number of restaurants and clubs.

to conclude, the best way to travel is join a group which is led by an experienced guide. It saves us time and energy and provides us with safety and happiness.

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发表于 2010-4-8 11:53:59 |只看该作者
I generally agree with the assertion thatthe best way to travel is in a group led by a tour guide. A guide who is veryfamiliar with the place we travel can show us the most worthy tour sits(sites)using the least of time. It saves us the time of planning by offering us awell-planned route. Besides, going with a group is much safer than travelalone. Though group travel has some defects, its good points out win thedefects.

A guide proves worthy by proving the mostexciting tourist resorts and saving visitors time and money. When tourists arenew to a place, a guide is needed to accommodate them and provide all theinformation needed for a perfect trip. A trip to mountains or national parkscan be very dangerous, for the serious terrain and poisonous plants or (dangerous) animals. About one year ago, I and a friend(my friend and I,英文中自己总是放在最后的) go to climb mountainslocated in another province. Though we have spent of alot time(a lot of time) and energy to make good plans of the itinerate(tour, itinerate指的是巡游) thinking we haveprepared everything well, we got lost in the mysterious hills. After climbingover a hill thinking of a way out, we got nearly desperate by finding ourselvesfaced with another hill. Just as we went out of confidence, we caught sight offarmer across a few hills. Yelling with all the strength for help, he heard usand pointed a route for us. I dread of climbing mountains alone since then.Though my experience is somewhat to extreme, guides prove very useful insolving our problems and saving our time if we are caught in problems in a newenvironment, because they are the experts of the region.

Traveling in group guarantees our safety. Ihave always considered it unsafe to travel alone. Without other people to takecare, make proper suggestions and warn of dangers, I will not begin a journey.I will certainly depend on a guide to guarantee my safety while showing mearound. Safety should not be limited to physical safety but should involve thequality of food, the health condition of the restaurant, the quality of goodsor memorial and so on. Newcomers are easy to be cheated and fooled by localdwellers, so a good guide need to be chosen to guarantee a enjoying and safetrip.

Though some people may argue that we willlose the happiness of exploring if we are guided, it matters a little for we donot have enough time to explore all the tourist residents by ourselves, not tomention the large number of restaurants and clubs.

to conclude, the best way to travel is (to) join a group which is led by an experiencedguide. It saves us time and energy and provides us with safety and happiness.
整篇文章基本上没什么错,但是有个建议,就是句子不是很精彩,感觉比较平淡~当然也可能是题目比较俗的缘故吧~建议可以背背书,比如新概念~

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发表于 2010-4-9 19:51:32 |只看该作者
There has been a discussion about whether universities should give every member of the team the same grade for the projects they accomplish. In my opinion, team members should not be given the same grade but should be graded individually for each person's role and work in the group. I will explain my reasons fully below.

For the first, it is unfair for the hardworking members who contribute much to the project. In a group, different people have their roles, and some of the roles are extraordinarily important, like modulating all parts of the members and explaining experiment results. If we each member the same score, then people who have played an important part will feel unfairly rewarded. What's more, those who have done little or even have evaded their jobs will chuckle to themselves about working less but getting more. In physiology experiments, groups are formed of 5 or 6 people. Two or three of  them are very active, they make the plan for experiment and determine the drugs and reagents for each of the step, while the inactive members just follows the steps and mechanically add the agents. Though I admit to the importance of physical work, I can hardly say all the members are equally hard-working.

For the second, it will give chances to some lazy students to evade their  job and waste their time especially if group is large or the task does not need that amount of  people. I once had a class for films. Each Monday, all the students were to watch a film, in the following week, groups consisting of 3 to 4 people were required to analysis the film, gather to discuss about each members' understanding of the movie and join ideas to a paper. And next Monday, a representative of the group should make a presentation to the whole class according to the paper. The teacher meant well. But she neglected the fact that the students were lazy to join a discussion. The one to give the presentation made all the preparations while the rest of the group did nothing to support him or her as if they were not a part of the group and took no responsibility. But the teacher had thought that the excellent presentation were a result of good discussion until she asked the non-reporters questions and found out their lack of any idea about the films. Then the teacher took a task which I think is the right thing to do. She required all the students to hand up an abstract of discussion and each group should have a different reporter for each presentation and their grades would be based on both the abstract and the presentation. Then no one could rest and got high score.

Though some people may argue that score separately will harm the group work for it may cause disagreements between members. It makes sense, but competition and cooperation are equally important among group members. As a matter a fact, reasonable competition will encourage all group members to work hard, sometimes it is even more useful than sense of group honor, for there is considerable large element of selfishness in some group members.

In conclude, group members should be graded separately for their work and role in the group and also the accomplishment of group work.

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发表于 2010-4-10 18:22:36 |只看该作者
I generally agree with the assertion that the best way to travel is in a group led by a tour guide. A guide who is very familiar with the place we travel can show us the most worthy tour sits using the least of time. It saves us the time of planning by offering us a well-planned route. Besides, going with a group is much safer than travel alone. Though group travel has some defects, its good points out win the defects.开头不错,开门见山

A guide proves worthy by proving the most exciting tourist resorts and saving visitors time and money. When tourists are new to a place, a guide is needed to accommodate them and provide all the information needed for a perfect trip. A trip to mountains or national parks can be very dangerous, for the serious terrain and poisonous plants or animals. About one year ago, I and a friend go to climb mountains located in another province. Though we have spent of a lot time and energy to make good plans of the itinerate thinking we have prepared everything well, we got lost in the mysterious hills. After climbing over a hill thinking of a way out, we got nearly desperate by finding ourselves faced with another hill. Just as we went out of confidence, we caught sight of farmer across a few hills. Yelling with all the strength for help, he heard us and pointed a route for us. I dread of climbing mountains alone since then. Though my experience is somewhat to extreme, guides prove very useful in solving our problems and saving our time if we are caught in problems in a new environment, because they are the experts of the region。我觉得你这段内容和TS不够贴合了,你TS是说节约时间,旅游更有价值,但你后面的论述和例子好像都说到危险去了,也就是你第二段的TS里。而没有具体的展开阐述你的TS
4 C8 B* {, Y1 C5 y1 e' r

Travelling in group guarantees our safety. I have always considered it unsafe to travel alone. Without other people to take care, make proper suggestions and warn of dangers, I will not begin a journey. I will certainly depend on a guide to guarantee my safety while showing me around. Safety should not be limited to physical safety but should involve the quality of food, the health condition of the restaurant, the quality of goods or memorial and so on. Newcomers are easy to be cheated and fooled by local dwellers, so a good guide need to be chosen to guarantee a enjoying and safe trip。最好有点数据啊或者例子啊什么的支撑一下,不然太空了
- c7 N' ~2 {0 j* `( n3 b

Though some people may argue that we will lose the happiness of exploring if we are guided, it matters a little for we do not have enough time to explore all the tourist residents by ourselves, not to mention the large number of restaurants and clubs。

to conclude, the best way to travel is join a group which is led by an experienced guide. It saves us time and energy and provides us with safety and happiness.
对不起,点评晚了。。同学的语言很不错,就是内容感觉比较空洞,例子和数据什么的比较少,也不够生动
第一段的内容就是爬山那部分应该移到第二段会好很多,然后再仔细想想有导游可以省钱省时间的论述和例子
博观而约取,厚积而薄发

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发表于 2010-4-11 00:14:21 |只看该作者
For my part I think teachers should assign homework to students every day. Teachers who are very experienced in teaching know the appropriate things that the students need to do and also the reasonable amount of work. Students' learning habits need to be built on the experience of fulfilling homework assigned each day, and only after the habits are built can students of great self-control work by themselves. Teacher's homework are most important for students who are lacking of forbearance or study plans.

Homework assigned by experienced teachers represents the well-planned work needed to be done which assists students reviewing the knowledge taught during the class. During my high school days, my English teacher always assigned us homework. Every morning we were required to read and recite the texts and words taught in the previous day.  And a certain student would be chosen in that day's class to recite the texts to the whole class. I have persisted in reading and reciting, by and by, my English abilities improved slowly while the lazy students who evaded their tasks each time failed behind. From this example, we can see, experienced teacher assigns homework not only according a urgent need of mastering knowledge but also according to the accumulated effects of a persisted homework.  

Many students who are lacking of good study habits do not know what they should do to improve themselves nor how to make good study plans, not to mention persisting in sticking to the study plans which makes it very essential for teachers to assign them daily homework to fulfill. If students have teachers to assign homework, they just follow the instructions and finish the tasks, and this process will be relatively easy compared with sticking to their own plans, because teachers will supervise the students and give grades and in turn students are stimulated to work harder. I am now a university student of third grade with my own study plans. Sometimes I feel it challenging to stick to the plan everyday and I have to revise my plan time to time for I cannot make a perfect plan which can be applied to different situations for months .I often miss the high school days when teachers prepare everything needed like the review questions, exercises, summary etc for students. So I strongly suggest that students who have not developed forbearance fulfill teachers' assignments especially the high school students.

Some people may argue that just stick to assignments injuries our ability of free thinking and recreation. Though there is some element of rationality, it is not true for all the situations. My math teacher in high school often requires us to think of as many separate solutions as possible to a single problem. I think it greatly promotes innovation by encouraging students to have a deeper thought.

To conclude, I strongly stand for teachers to assign homework to students for it is much easier for us to finish well-planned tasks the importance of which has been proved by experience than to make and follow plans by ourselves.

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发表于 2010-4-11 21:17:09 |只看该作者
I do not agree to the assertion that traveling in people's own country is more beneficial than travelling to countries. For my part, I believe traveling abroad is more beneficial for the reasons as follows.

First, foreign countries have different natural resources, landscapes and cultural relics which could broaden our eyes and extend our experience and knowledge. There are so many countries in the world and they are located in different parts of our planet. Landscape in a tropical country Indonesia is totally different from the landscape of an arctic country like Finland or that of a country in temperate zone like Germany and also the landscape of inland countries like Mongolia. It will benefit travelers a lot if they travel around the world to experience terrain, climate, living creatures and landscapes of all kinds in different countries. I grow up at the entrance of the Changjiang River to the Pacific Ocean watching blowy river water merge into the yellow marine water. Not until I travelled to Indonesia and saw the sea of a clear blue color had I changed my old views that marine water was has a earth-like color. And I feel curious that the beaches of Indonesia always consist of hard stones which make it impossible for seashells to live in it because in my homeland the beach is consisted of mud, and if people step on it using bear feet, seashells will slowly come out. So traveling to foreign countries really broadens our eyes, promote our knowledge, and correct our old beliefs.

Secondly, people of foreign countries have specific social habits, moral standards, values, and culture. By traveling to foreign countries we experience the foreign culture which may be totally different from ours. Chinese people like to deal with business when they have a dinner which is most splendid and time-costing, while Americans focus on food when they have dinners. Many American business men do not know this habit of Chinese, and they feel curious why they must be invited to a dinner if they want to sign agreements with Chinese business man. Another interesting aspects of dinners is Chinese people like to enjoy dishes by all the people, so during a big dinner, several dozens of dishes will be served each one enjoyed by everyone from a single plate. While nearly all European countries like to separate dishes into a personal plate, and each people only focus on his or her plate. I once went with an American friend who comes to visit China to a westen-restaurant, and he gets very unhappy when I use my small spoon to get for soul. I realized it is rude to drink from public bowl in no time, and apologized to him. So we can see different countries have different culture, it is cool to experience cultures.

To conclude, it is beneficial for us to travel to other countries for we can not only enjoy all kinds of landscapes but can also experience different culture.

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发表于 2010-4-14 22:43:49 |只看该作者
There has been a heated discussion over the sports competition or contests of children. Some others view sports contests as a very important means of choosing promising sports champions and excavating naturals in sports. In my opinion, there is a positive effect of sports contests considering competition’s function of encouraging people to exercise more and in turn having progression. The contests are without bad effects, children preparing for sports contents are more likely to have defects in other subjects like science and art, the lack of which will make them less competent after they give up their sports career.  Most of the sportsmen cannot be world champions, they pay a lot of time and energy as school boy or girls trying to win contests which cost most of their time which should be spent on other subjects like art and science and more importantly harm their physical as well as mental health. So in my opinion, most of the children should only play sports for fun, not in competition or contests.

Though a very large number of children have sports, only a very small fraction of them will choose sports as their carrier and a even smaller number of children will succeed as world champions. For most of the children, sports is only a source of entertainment and physical fitness, there is no need for them to spend too much time and energy on sports to become experts. Millions of children all over the world play soccer, but only several of them can be as successful as Messi. If a kid is proved not a natural in sports, he or she should quickly give up the mind of choosing sports as a profession because there is very little possibility that he or she could succeed on that. What most kids should do is to play sports with their friends for fun, and forget about winning all the contests.

Doing sports for competition may harm children’s' physical fitness. Many children who compete for a champion cannot receive professional training, and they are very likely to harm themselves because some large movements, or accidents. Many kids have damaged their tendons, pulled their muscles or broken their bones because they exercise to much and break their extremities in competitions which acquire players to be quicker, tougher, and stronger. There are certain sports that are especially dangerous for small kids like weight lifting. The spinal cord is frequently damaged when sportsman lifts too much weight, the possibility for kids to damage the spinal cord or muscle of the back and waist is especially high. For girls in puberty, weight lifting will elevate the amount of androgen produced, which will cause a dysfunction of menstrual cycles. When children compete for championship, they will often go to extremes and neglect their body condition for they want the hard training to be paid. In these conditions, their physical fitness is at risk.

Competition can be a heavy burden for children which place them under too much pressure which may cause severe mental disorders.  In my opinion, children do sports to have fun and lease burden. When children go for a competition, sports are no longer a recreation, it will become a heavy burden for children to try and win. Under great pressure, children who cannot adjust properly tent to lose concentration and perform worse. If children fail to achieve high scores in a competition, they are very likely to feel depressed and diffident which in turn gives him more pressure. It will be good if children can accept for their failure and give up competition, but not everyone can go out of the burden of failure soon enough. Sports in these cases have become a source of pain instead of fun. If the pressure and burden are not properly handled, children may develop severe mental disorders.                                                                                                                                                                                                                          
To conclude, though competition may be essential to select promising sports stars, most of children who will and cannot choose sports as a career are to play sports for fun only. Involved in sports competitions, children may be under pressure and harm themselves.

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发表于 2010-4-15 11:35:26 |只看该作者
我刚看了一下你的字数,少说也有700了吧,在读的时候就感觉好长啊,相信你看了我的作文也知道我的水平,看来不能给你提供太多有价值的修改了,看见了几个地方想简单说一下吧,没准还是我自己理解有问题,呵呵,仅供参考,第一段的the contests are without。。。。。后半句是不是应该加上But表示转折?  还有就是我发现你作文在论据的三段中似乎没有一些过度的词或者短语,to begin with...what's more...类似的 东西,只想到了这么多, 正在认真学习你作文的语言~~~~
为了心中的理想,这奋斗的路上没有退路!!

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发表于 2010-4-15 12:58:13 |只看该作者
4.14我以为我昨天写high写到510已经够夸张了,这里还有更长的。哈哈~~O(∩_∩)O~

There has been a heated discussion over the sports competition or contests of children. Some others view sports contests as a very important means of choosing promising sports champions and excavating naturals觉得怪怪的,我也不确定是不是这样写 in sports. In my opinion, there is a positive effect of sports contests considering competition’s function of encouraging people to exercise more and in turn having progression(getting progress). The contests are without bad effects, children preparing for sports contents are more likely to have defects in other subjects like science and art, the lack of which will make them less competent after they give up their sports career.  真长,明显fragment了。Most of the sportsmen cannot be world champions, (加but。lz又fragment了。记得加连词啊) they pay a lot of time and energy as school boy or girls trying to win contests which cost most of their time which should be spent on other subjects like art and science and more importantly harm their physical as well as mental health. 又是长句啊。lz尽量少些长句啊。这都套了多少个定从了。So in my opinion, most of the children should only play sports for fun, not in competition or contests.

W0 e
Though a very large number of children have sports, only a very small fraction of them will choose sports as their carrier--career and a even smaller number of children will succeed as world champions. For most of the children, sports is only a source of entertainment and physical fitness, (连词或者句号)there is no need for them to spend too much time and energy on sports to become experts(建议on becoming sports experts). Millions of children all over the world play soccer, but only several(few) of them can be as successful as Messi. If a kid is proved not a natural in sports, he or she should quickly give up the mind of choosing sports as a profession because there is very little possibility that he or she could succeed on that. What most kids should do is to play sports with their friends for fun, and forget about winning all the contests.我觉得这一段和第一段有点重复,建议把第一段精炼一下。还有咱俩对于conpetition和contests的理解貌似不一样。我觉得参加比赛不一定就是要成为职业运动员啊。也可以业余参加比赛啊。O(∩_∩)O~

% m; L. j; [# j( G8 R0 G' m7 c; L
Doing sports for competition may harm children’s' physical fitness. Many children who compete for a champion cannot receive professional training, and they are very likely to harm themselves(建议改成many children who compete for a champion without professional training are very likely...貌似简洁一点) because some large movements, or accidents. Many kids have damaged their tendons, pulled their muscles or broken their bones because they exercise too much and break their extremities in competitions which acquire players to be quicker, tougher, and stronger. There are certain sports that are especially dangerous for small kids like weight lifting. The spinal cord is frequently damaged when sportsman lifts too much weight, the possibility for kids to damage the spinal cord or muscle of the back and waist is especially high. For girls in puberty, weight lifting will elevate the amount of androgen produced, which will cause a dysfunction of menstrual cycles. When children compete for championship, they will often go to extremes and neglect their body condition for they want the hard training to be paid. In these conditions, their physical fitness is at risk.LZ的词汇好强大。赞一个m) s3 H: V$ o

Competition can be a heavy burden for children which place them under too much pressure which may cause severe mental disorders.  In my opinion, children (加个should)do sports to have fun and lease burden. When children go for a competition, sports are no longer a recreation, (加连词。不然又fragment了。或者改成instead of)it will become a heavy burden for children to try and win. Under great pressure, children who cannot adjust properly tent to lose concentration and perform worse. If children fail to achieve high scores in a competition, they are very likely to feel depressed and diffident which in turn gives him more pressure. It will be good if children can accept for their failure and give up competition, but not everyone can go out of the burden of failure soon enough. Sports in these cases have become a source of pain instead of fun. If the pressure and burden are not properly handled, children may develop severe mental disorders.                                                                                                                                                                                                                          

To conclude, though competition may be essential to select promising sports stars, most of children who will and cannot choose sports as a career are to play sports for fun only. Involved in sports competitions, children may be under pressure and harm themselves.

觉得语言罗嗦了一点,词汇很强大。楼主很喜欢写长句,但是又不加连词。建议楼主不妨试着拆成几个断句,用之间的逻辑连起来试试。
关于立意方面,咱俩对于competition的定义不同,按照你的定义,觉得挺不错的。
700+的字数啊。不知道LZ是不是在30分钟内完成的。注意时间哦~

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发表于 2010-4-15 22:13:16 |只看该作者
There has been a heated discussion over the sports competition or contests of children. Some others view sports contests as a very important means of choosing promising sports champions and naturals in sports. I do not deny that element of function as well as sports’ positive effects in encouraging and promoting, but the contests are without bad effects. Preparing for competitions takes children too much time and energy which could be spent on other sides like science, art and entertainment. Besides, children doing large amount of sports without professional guidance are very likely to hurt themselves. Moreover, their mental health could also be affected for competition sometimes places too much pressure on them.

Training for sports competition takes children so much time and energy that they have less time to be spent on their curriculum and entertainment. To achieve a high score, children need to exercise for much more times than playing sports for fun. When I just play volleyball with a few friends, we gather in weekends and the time I spend on volleyball is at most four hours. However, when I enter the school team of volleyball, I am required to join training every afternoon from 5 o’clock to 8 o’clock. Though the school team got a gold medal in a competition held for all primary school in the city. I feel sorry for my poor scores of other classes. So I quit the school team the next semester. In my opinion, as long as children are not going to choose sports as a profession, they should not go for competitions for they take too much time.

Doing sports for competition may harm children’s' physical fitness. Children who cannot receive professional training but work too much may hurt themselves for wrong movements or accidents. Many kids have damaged their tendons, pulled their muscles or broken their bones when they exercise too much for a competition. There are certain sports that are especially dangerous for small kids, like weight lifting. The spinal cord and the muscles around the waist is frequently damaged when children lift too much weight. For girls in puberty, weight lifting will elevate the amount of androgen produced, which will cause a dysfunction of menstrual cycles. An elder cousin attended a sports school instead of a high school. He described his life there to me as endless strong training and a great possibility to get hurt. He finally quit the school for he pulled his tendon and could not run as fast as he used to. Indeed, children should not go to extremities when they play sports especially if they play for an competition.

As well as possible physical damage, competition can cause serious mental disorders. Based on my logic, sports should be done as a source of entertainment to release burden, but competition changes sports into a burden itself. I can imagine the great sorrow of a sportsman who have trained for so hard but got nothing in a competition for he or she was not good enough compared to other sportsmen. After all, only a small number of sportsmen could win. And losers in sports undergo particular pressure compared with people in other job occupations.

To conclude, though competition may be essential to select promising sports stars, most of children who will and cannot choose sports as a career. Involved in sports competitions, children may be under pressure and harm themselves. They should just play sports for fun, and use their free time to do worthy things.

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