新手作文， 请猛拍

whenitssunnyUID: 2726688

题目是 which has more effects, telephone or television

第一次发帖，心情十分激动，欢迎各位高手猛拍

When it comes to which has more effects, telephone or television, some people insist that it is telephone that has totally changed our life, considering it has a significant influence on the way people communicate with others. There may be some truth in this statement, however, accumulating evidence has demonstrated that television has impacted our life even more profoundly, not only in altering how we used to contact but also in many other aspects.

To make this point clear, an analysis of how people view television is essential. Obviously, , most of the audience aim to relax and to achieve more information about what is happening in the world. In this way, television offers another measure to enrich our daily life, and increases the amount of knowledge we can learn out of school.

That is only part of the explanation. Television has also affected our schedule. Gone are the days when we used to sleep early before the machine emerged, and nowadays, people can stay up late without feeling bored. For instance, researches from an authoritative institute established that the time when Chinese children went to sleep had been 1.5 hours later than 25 years ago when the television is not available. Besides, television reduced the time spent on talking. Now watching television has become the main method of distraction instead of chatting with friends and family. Consequently the relationship among individuals is no longer close. It is not rare to hear children complaining the indifference of their parents, and the same situation is also shared by the parents, one of the leading reasons of which is that they both devote too much time on television hence time for communicating face to face is never enough.

The influence by television that is even more enormous may be that it has successfully pushed people to consume. With the emergency of television, advertising is highly promoted too, since it is the main form of investing from companies. Meanwhile, the television needs the fund to develop itself. Increasing advertisement misleads the public opinion to consuming. People now purchase things not because they need them but because other people own them or simply the advertisement claims them the symbol of fashion. This would be impossible when the television did not exist.

To sum up, the world is enormously affected by television in both positive and negative ways. Telephone, as well as television, is definitely a remarkable invention, but it serves only as a tool for communicating, which limits the range of its influence. On the contrary, television, with its impressive function, has adjusted our daily life and even how we view the world.

jiang08UID: 2391146

好文 肯定是26分以上了
硬要挑刺的话，第二段稍微有点仓促。第4段的主题句有点绕。别的都相当好，语言和论证都是。

谦行天下UID: 2797557

好久不看作文了。。
我看版主给你打26分。。过来看看。。
第二段确实有点少。。。更充实一点会更好。。。
我觉得要提一下Telephone做不到TV的这些作用是不是会更好一点。。。

whenitssunnyUID: 2726688

2# jiang08

谢谢版主！

whenitssunnyUID: 2726688

3# 谦行天下

恩， 有道理，谢谢啦，继续改嘿嘿

whenitssunnyUID: 2726688

topic："The best way to improve the quality of education is to imcrease teachers' salaries'
aggree or disagree
终于在三十分钟写够字数了。。。大胆放上未删减版。。。



When it comes to how to improve the quality of education, some people insist that it is increasing the salaries of teachers that should be the primary task, considering that ample money can encourage teachers to focus on teaching in school instead of searching for part time jobs to support their family. There may be some truth in the statement, but accumulating evidence has demonstrated that the leading factor of education quality is not how much teachers are paid, and that payment of an improper amount will result in negative consequences rather than positive ones.

To make this point clear, an analysis of teachers' current living conditions and social status is essential. Apparently, teachers are highly respected almost everywhere in the world, and are benefited well. They are offered with houses at a low price, sometimes even for free, and their children are first considered when applying for a high school. Besides, students and their parents are always appreciating teachers' effort. Consequently, teachers can achieve plentiful accomplishment even if they are not paid as much as those working in a company not mention sometimes the salaries are even higher.

That is only part of the explanation. What is more important is that too much money will mislead teachers' values. Educating is a devoted career, requiring both altruism and responsibility. If money is over emphasized, teachers may abandon the initial purpose of teaching. In order to exhibit the special characteristic of being a teacher, salaries should not become the aim teachers pursuing.

Besides, the fundamental aspect in making progress in education should be promoting the quality of teachers. Suppose educating workers have the highest payment in the society, education will be still impossible to approach ahead if teachers are not excellent enough. Therefore, it will be wiser to provide teachers with opportunities for further study. Furthermore, with the dramatic development of science and technology, which enriches the information of the times, teachers are also required to enhance their ability to analysis information and to use new equipment to maximize the efficient in class. Only they are better educated can the students that they teach be better cultivated.

To sum up, the salaries is not the determining factor in the advancement of education. Admittedly, massive money can attract more people engaged in education, nevertheless, quality and ability should always be on the top of the list.

谦行天下UID: 2797557

神啊。。你分析得太好了。。。我看了两遍。。。
你的观点是：“否”
一、教师现在的生活水平很好（respect，free house，家长效应）
二、过多的钱会使教师迷失（教师需要奉献，）这段有点少额
三、最好的提高教育的方法是提升教师的苏浙（反面推正面+正面举用technology的例子）
结尾点题。。十分棒！

jiang08UID: 2391146

语言论证都没得说啦 希望LZ多拿点范文来 ^^

whenitssunnyUID: 2726688

7# 谦行天下


:loveliness:   谢谢夸奖 真受宠若惊啊嘿嘿
第二段确实不知道再怎么继续，绞尽脑汁想到这个理由，又不知道怎么展开。。。而且时间不够。。。打字太慢了

whenitssunnyUID: 2726688

8# jiang08


范文真是不敢当啊:loveliness: 继续贴几篇请各位指教

jiang08UID: 2391146

8# jiang08  


范文真是不敢当啊:loveliness: 继续贴几篇请各位指教
whenitssunny 发表于 2010-4-22 10:55

不要太谦虚啦 大家共同进步~

whenitssunnyUID: 2726688

题目是Younger school childrenshould berequired to study art and music in addition to math language， science and history.，agree or disagree


When it comes to whether to study art and music in elementary school, some people insist that it is math, language, science and history that education should focus on, considering that these lessons are more practical and important for children's further education. There may be some truth in the statement, however, accumulating evidence has demonstrated that lessons such as art and music are as significant as those mentioned above, and that adding them in the curriculum is essential and urgent.

To make this point clear, an analysis of the role that art subjects play in individual's life is necessary. Admittedly, art may not as utilized as science, but it promotes children’s taste and aesthetic quality, which has a profound effect on their values toward the world. Researches have exhibited that teenagers that own better aesthetic ability tend to appreciate the life, and feel happier than those who have no knowledge of art. Consequently, art education is vital for each child to make them a full development, both intelligently and mentally.

That's only part of the explanation. Adding art teaching in the early education also provide the opportunity of children to find their true interest. As is known to all, children are distinct from each other, thus various subject settings can fulfill their potential much better. Suppose no art lessen is offered in school, abundant students may fail to discover their passion towards music, painting or dancing.

Besides, art is dispensable when we are studying other lectures, since it serves as a tool for relaxing and diversifying our thought. The argument has been supported by ample examples of famous scientists. Einstein, for one, loved violin and was skillful at it. And he owed all his achievement to music because the melody released his pressure and provide a new way of thinking of his science works.

To sum up, art education is increasingly important in our life. It makes it possible for children to understand themselves and is helpful for their future life. It is not to say science, language, history or math are not valuable, but to point out that children deserve better and full advancement.

whenitssunnyUID: 2726688

独立作文、职业运动员工资这么高，像足球和篮球运动员，是否deserve?就是合理不合理，值得不值得。



When it comes to whether it is fair that professional sports stars are highly paid, some people insist that this is not sensible, considering the little contribution they have made to the society, especially to the economy conditions. There may be some truth in this argument, however, accumulating evidence has demonstrated that what the athlete has offered to the society is actually more than we used to think, and that the specialness of the sport career do need plentiful fund to support.

To make this point clear, an analysis of the differences between athletes and other types of workers is essential. Sportsperson usually have shorter period of career than ordinary people, since competitions need strong bodies, which would not be available when they are aged. And by aged, this means 30 years old for the majority of athletes, while regularly people retire at the age of 60. The comparation clearly supports the argument that people who treat sport as a career should earn more.

That is only part of the explanation. Athletes also get injured easily, which would not happen in most of the other jobs. Researches by an authoritative institute have exhibited that 50% of an athlete' salary is spent on curing the wounds, broken bones and things like that. Besides, after their retirement, the cost on medical treatment would largely increase.

Furthermore, athletes have enormous effect to our society, larger than we assumed. For example, at the Olympic Games, swimmers, ping pang players, and football players who win the champion will bring about great honor to their country, making each citizen of the coutry pround. To this already familiar example, the influence of sport stars as a public character is indispensable. When happens a disaster such as earthquake and flood, the donor from athletes always encourage people to give away money, for reason that successful stars are viewed as models, especially morally.

To sum up, athletes deserve their rich payment owing to their distinct, and they worth the salary because of their effort. Nothing is unfair as long as you achieve it by your hard work.

whenitssunnyUID: 2726688

13# whenitssunny

题目是IMPROVING SCHOOL IS MOST IMPORTANT FACTOR TO SUCESSFUL DEVELOPMENT OF COUNTRY

When it comes to what is the most important factor in the development of country, some people insist that it is the industry that plays the major role, considering its significant contribute to the economy and its ability to offer plentiful jobs. There may be some truth in the statement, but accumulating evidence has demonstrated that education has become more and more important these days, and even has replaced industry as the leading reason for a successful country. As a result, improving school is both indispensable and urgent.

To make this point clear, an analysis of the part school plays in the society is essential. To the well known task of teaching people knowledge, school also amends the moral values, telling people what is right and what is wrong. Therefore, people with good education are not likely to do something harmful to others or the society, which can be totally supported by the data that criminals who has ever been to high school is much fewer than those who have little or no education experience. Besides, aesthetic taste can also be promoted during the process, since art and music are regularly involved in the curriculum. This encourages people to appreciate everything around, which can reduce the chance of crime, and eventually lead to a harmony society.

Besides, individuals may serve the country better if well cultivated. The development of country relies on each citizen's effort, and only ample knowledge can fulfill their potential and benefit the country as much as they can. Suppose every worker has a college education background, the time on training for a position will be obviously cut down for people have learnt enough of that. Hence, they are able to focus on how to maximize the efficiency, how to decrease the cost and things like that. In this way, individuals' intelligence has been used on the most vital part of country's development.

That is only part of the explanation. Improving schools, especially colleges and universities, can provide a fine atmosphere for the advancement of science and technology, which is the fundament of both industry and agriculture. Take the United States for example, as we all know, it has the most powerful industry and the newest technology, close analysis owing these to the outstanding universities that it owns. Integrated chips, computers and fibers, all of they are invented by professors in institutes of high schools.

To sum up, education is increasingly vital in this period for the success of a country. Admittedly, industry, economy and agriculture have impressive impact as well. Nevertheless, none of them would be steady without improved school.

谦行天下UID: 2797557

12# whenitssunny

这篇文章怎么说，似乎有点看出你的模板了。。。

开头是说虽然很多人认为A很重要，但是accumulating evidence 证明B也很重要
一，To make this point clear,诚然A很重要，B也有它的作用
二、This is only part of the explanation, B还有什么作用
三、Besides，B最根本的作用是……
这样层次很清晰。。。。层层深入