各位大侠帮忙改一改啊！多谢多谢！argument1！

enid1989UID: 2756735

In this argument, the president recommends that they should therefore  build their next store in plainsville-a place that has many residents who are highly concerned with leading healthy lives, because of the enormous amount of profit they gain from such areas shown by previous experience. To support this argument, the author points out that the all-time high sales of running shoes and exercise clothing and the popularity of fixing oneself in local health club. In additional, to justify the claim, the author also provides an evidence that the schoolchildren-a new generation of customers-are required to participate in a fitness for life program. However, a careful examination of this argument would reveal how groundless the conclusion is.
First of all, the mere fact that the highest sales volume is insufficient to conclude that people living here are  
engaged in making themselves healthy. Maybe the citizens just used to dress comfortably and live comfortably ,as a  
eagle swinging in sky and a fish swimming in pool. What`s more,a possibility tells us that the larger relative  
poplation  is, the larger sales volume is. Lacking convincing evidence that the clients buying sports equipment aim at practicing themselves and caring about their physical situation,the author fails to establishe a causal  
relationship between the quantities of sell exercising equipment and the extent  individurals being cautious about  
their bodies.
Furthermore, this observed phenomenon mentioned above, actually, says little that these two situation, such as the  
relevant policies, the economical background, the citizens` thoughts on wholesome things and the fees those physical trainer prefer affording,  either five years or now ,are synchronic to each other and that is all.To find out the exact causes that why more and more people trend to fit in the local health club which nearly closed five years ago due to lacking of business, examinations should be applied to all the factors that have significant impact on varieties in these two periods. Without eliminating other influential elements and leaving the only factor that people are more cautious about their physical situations ,these two comparative circumstances lend no credible support to the conclusion that people`s increasing interests in health which would lead amount of profit to the Nature`s  Way.
Finally, the author`s conclusion depends on the questionable assumption that a new anticipated generation of  
customs,  emerging with  the progressing of a 'fitness for life 'program, which emphasize the benefit of regular  
exercise at an early age, impresses that the clients who tend to purchase the pointed company`s commidities on  
sports, which can thoroughly promote the financial revenues, will potentially increase so that the Nature`s Way may obtain a great deal of earnings. The arguer`s reasoning linkings between them seems reasonable on the surface, but in further areas, many significant accounts-for instance, in all probabilities, maybe those children are charged to attended to the program reluctantly or maybe those participant members did not carry out the project as they are  
required, which cannot lead to an increased potential customer group-are ignored that we overlook all the time. As  
a result, the argument relies on this sample seems to be too vague to support the conclusion drawn.
In conclusion, there is no information available to justify any causal relationship between extent that citizens in Plainville cares about their health and the obtains they will achieve. In addition, any decision aimed at achieving the destination of possessing more luxuries must be more thorough investigation to gather sufficient data in order  
to narrow down and locate the actual causes of the final destination. To strengthen the argument, the arguer have to provide evidence that the individuals living in plainville are truly taking more care of their physical health  
than before. To better evaluate the argument, the author should furnish some assured identification that the intense passion to keep healthy attributes to the rapidly increasing profit.

NEU公孙轩辕UID: 2697609

提个建议：楼主发习作起码得把题目给出来吧