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[求助] 还有一周就考了,求各位筒侠帮忙改改文章 [复制链接]

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发表于 2010-4-29 21:17:45 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: young people now enjoy their life better than the old generation. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

With the sharp development of the society, a considerable change has occured during the past few decades. In this situation, a wide debate seems to be increasingly disputable that whether young people have a more enjoyable life than the old generation did. From the information I’ve acquired, I believe that young people’s life is not better but even harder than before.

To begin with, young people are under a great pressure of studying new things. Nowadays the amount of world’s information has been increasing in an incredible speed, as a result, young people have to keep constant studying to acquire these information so as to keep their competence. And the advent of a plenty of new inventions, such as computer, Internet and mobile phone, force young people to learn to use them. Accordingly, young people spend lots of their leisure time to study, and only a few part of time can be left for entertainment.

In addition, the pressure of existence is also a great problem young people should face with. Investigations have shown that social competing is becoming more and more violent as today’s world population is rapidly increasing every day. This means there are more and more young people today need to compete with each other for social existence. An event which can just well prove this point is that the financial crisis led to a huge amount of people lose their jobs last year. Besides, the competitive society makes young people feel really anxious because they have to waste lots of energy to cope with the human relations. Consequently, young people now face an unprecedented pressure of making living.

Hard as young people’s life is, there are also pleasant things which could not be enjoyed in the past. Television brings people many programs for spare time; Telephone makes the communication among people more convenient; Internet lets people have access to lots of fresh affairs. But all of these benefits seem to be meaningless when compared with the hardness of young people’s life today

According to what we discussed above, we can safely draw the conclusion that young people now have a harder life than the old generation did indeed.

本人才疏学浅,请各位帮个忙,给个评价或估个分也好
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沙发
发表于 2010-4-29 21:18:29 |只看该作者
自己先顶个!

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板凳
发表于 2010-4-29 21:36:41 |只看该作者
还不错啊

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地板
发表于 2012-1-27 15:30:33 |只看该作者
excellent!

you have introduction and conclusion.

In the middle, you use two aspects to support your position and list one opposite opinion to criticize.

classic five paragraghs!

maybe this comment is late though...

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RE: 还有一周就考了,求各位筒侠帮忙改改文章 [修改]

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还有一周就考了,求各位筒侠帮忙改改文章
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1092415-1-1.html
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