【1010G精英组】ISSUE48 B组回收站

weaselUID: 2739489

提交时间为5月4日13点前

youngstoneUID: 2670818

哎！写得凑字数啊凑字数，凑到了500就不行了，实在是凑不下去了，还希望能看看大家写的，向大家学习!!
There are really a great many important events in history. Some heroes’ attitude and behaviors act as an impelling force and have an enormous impact on these things while groups of people are non-neglectable for the great contribution they have made to the trends in history.

There is no doubt that some famous individuals do have influenced the history. Firstly, the behaviors of these people have some leading power and speed up some events such as the change of dynasty. For example, George Washington, the Father of America, also a hero with remarkable skill, patience, and courage, led the American forces through the Revolution, struggling not only with the British but with the stingy Continental Congress, which led to the independence of America. Succeeding generations not only in America but also all over the world bestow high accolade to him. It does not mean that the USA would not get independent without Washington, but it might happen decades later or even long. Secondly, many famous individuals are more intelligent and powerful than common people and they surely contribute more. We all benefit much from Bill Gates as well as the Microsoft Empire and he made largest charitable donations to the society in the world. Thirdly, some famous individuals’ behaviors are quite typical, thus we can analyze their ideas and these ideas may help in dealing with some problems. In other words, the heroes have a subtle influence on the succeeding generations, which acts as an indirect way to impel the history.

However, history is not decided by the famous few, groups of people also have a tremendous influence. After all, the trend of history cannot be changed by any single person. The society has its own principles and the trend is decided by most people, not a famous individual. In addition, some great ideas may come from the great individuals, yet it is the people who finished most of the work. For example, to fight against the aggressors, though the leader might have military stratagem to deceive or surprise the enemy, it is the thousands of hundreds of solders who contribute to finally win the war. In the same way, without the hard work of all his diligent staffs, no matter how intelligent he is, Bill Gates would not build up his Microsoft Empire.

It is obvious that not everybody can write his name in history and it is reasonable that those great people play such a significant role that historians put much emphasis on them. However, the historians should pay more attention to the common people and also study their attitude and behaviors, which may help study the trend of the unforeseen future.

To sum up, great people have much impact on the important events and trends but cannot decide them. The common people’s influence on history should not be neglected because without thousands of hundreds of people in the world, many great events would not have taken places. The study of history should focus both on great individuals and common people, which is a better way to evaluate the work we have done and foresee the future.

weaselUID: 2739489

晚上从刚开始写头脑就不太清楚了，明天我还得再看看，
抛弃了原来总结的套路，写得时间长多了

Various voices emerge at mere mention of the issue that if the study of history should exert more emphasis on few celebrated individuals focusing on their prowess and in contrast ignore the vital effects of unknown groups, who are considered also centerpieces of most events and trends in history. In view of these issues’ complexity, I make defined analysis about it and then get a conclusion: admittedly, groups virtually affect the process of history; however, few individuals’ essential roles can not be replaced. After the analysis, I ask myself that what historians should do when facing this problem.

Obviously, without harnessing power of the many, any one only with some sticking personal abilities can not push the whole history’s advancing. An individual can be regarded as a single girder in the society. Even if it may be the main support, only working with other pillars hand in hand can it show its unique capabilities and then hand up a great building. Thus, it is similar to any famous individuals in history that all historical skyscrapers entail a main support and other less conspicuous girders as well. It is the groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten that act as these common pillars. The history’s process requires them and the history has forgotten them at the same time.

However, no matter how reasonable the view above is, it does not mean that historians should pay all attentions to the many. With respect to the feasibility, it is only an ideal condition that the data of all people in groups, which impact trends and events of history, could be recorded and the researchers happen to dig them out and these data happens to be intact. Does such data really exist in the world? Even though it does, this kind of data can not record all peoples’ behaviors and ideas, and offer a judgment that they indeed influence history’s trends and events. Therefore, it is impossible for the historians to spend large amounts of time, energy and money on this meaningless work.

Besides, when focusing on few historical celebrities, researchers can find lots of merits that refer to their personalities which are filled with signs of that time and desire of whole society. In any significant revolutions or even a single battle in history, there are always some leaders, heroes and some extraordinary individuals who affect people’s ideas and values, bring hopes to the many and thus take groups to the success with welfare and happiness. Even if descendants can find few famous individuals’ personalities and advanced ideas from the public because they are imparted to the many, it is no doubt that studying these unique personalities and ideas directly from the few individuals, is more effective and worthy.

How will the historians address the problems with dilemma? In my point of view, the optimal approach for us is to seek a balance. In reality, the genuine purpose of the study on history is rooted not in reminding us the past but rather delivering the eternal values and spirits which can provide us with a hopeful future. Obviously, any study of history should aim at this final purpose and does not need to choose what should be cared with more sight.

From the statement above, there is no denying that everyone should face the truth that the public presents a strong power to history’s process. However, no reasons can support the point that all groups should be studied with the impossibility and lack of advantages. So, what should researchers do on earth? What they should really focus all their energy on is history’s external value, but not any alternative about what they should study.

钱钱去米国UID: 2761990

I feel this statement should be interpreted broadly –to mean that the groups of people who are nameless in the history had made the most significant event and trends, while historical research emphasis on the famous individuals too much and these groups of people have been neglected. Although history is replete with stories about the glorious deeds of a few individuals, these famous individuals would have been unable to succeed in their daring endeavors without the support and actives participation of their fellow members.


Because of their superb leadership and they stand out of their groups which made the splendid event ,The famous individuals leave a deep impress in people’s mind and the rest of these groups’ members became dismal comparing with the outstanding leader. For instance, Charles de Gaulle who led the Free French Forces during the World War II and later founded the French Fifth Republic in 1958 and served as its first President from 1959 to 1969.But, France would have been unable to emancipate itself without the sacrifices of the soldiers on the European theater. The efforts of Charles de Gaulle can never be undermined. However, it is apparent the huge amount of publicity available to President would ensure the mention of the name Charles de Gaulle in history text books for years to come. But the Free French Forces would not be succeed without the supporters of both the Free French Forces and Charles de Gaulle, and also the Allied soldiers .Yet, these people who are behind the scenes never find any mention in the history. Perhaps, it can be explain on the basis of leaders and their adherents. Leaders always get a huge share of the limelight. Their excellent leadership skills let everybody of their groups unite. Thus, they deserve to be immortalized by history.


However, it is impossible that the key historical figures can made that significant historical event and trends only by themselves. What they did were just leading or call for other people to fellow them. Such as in a battle, in stead of personally hostile ranks, the chiefs in command of their men behind but when they get triumph the public may only know the names of these chiefs whose glory is built on the sacrifices of the soldiers.But without these soldiers, these general may not get any glories.  Another example that prove this issue is about Michael Jordan In most eyes, Michael Jordan is the greatest basketball player ever, he endowed with magnificent and legendary basketball career, and his campaign for the enormous influence of the inevitable for people to put him into a god altar. In1993, Jordan led Bulls in 6 games 4th trodden Ewing of the Knicks - this time in the Eastern Conference finals the Bulls will not have home advantage. Michael Jordan scored 54 points the final fourth field Bulls 105-95 win. This is the turning point in the first round 5 games, won the junior pairs of Jordan (29 points, 10 boards, 14 to help). But the most important scene or Pippen final seconds of continuous run under the Knicks Charles Smith, dashed Knicks equalizer was able to give the Bulls hope to leave the Garden Plaza, 97-94, 96-88 in Game 6 Bulls to the Knicks ended the journey. Thus, in most work we need partners, prominent person may be the leader of this group and be remembered in history but we cannot ignore the impotence of these partners of the famous individuals.


Most of the famous individuals are widely mentioned in the history because of their fabulous leadership skills. Yet, when it really mattered, it was the group effort that made the difference. It is the people who are the creators of history.

youngstoneUID: 2670818

郁闷啊，在WORD里改好了，完了以后不知道在哪里传附件，查也查了，没找着……级别低是不是不能传啊~~
Various voices emerge at  the mere mention of the issue that if the study of history should exert more emphasis on few celebrated individuals focusing on their prowess and in contrast ignore the vital effects of unknown groups, who are considered also centerpieces of most events and trends in history. In view of these issues’ complexity, I make defined analysis about it and then get a conclusion: admittedly, groups virtually affect the process of history; however, few individuals’ essential roles can not be replaced. After the analysis, I ask myself that what historians should do when facing this problem.
(组长开头写得真好，其实我也想写得像你这样……不过我写着费劲，向你学习）

Obviously, without harnessing power of the many, any one only with some sticking （这应该是striking吧）personal abilities can not push the whole history’s advancing. An individual can be regarded as a single girder in the society. Even if it may be the main support, only working with other pillars hand in hand can it show its unique capabilities and then hand up a great building. Thus, it is similar to any famous individuals in history that all historical skyscrapers entail a main support and other less conspicuous girders as well. It is the groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten that act as these common pillars. The history’s process requires them and the history has forgotten them at the same time.

However, no matter how reasonable the view above is, it does not mean that historians should pay all attentions to the many. With respect to the feasibility, it is only an ideal condition that the data of all people in groups, which impact trends and events of history, could be recorded and the researchers happen to dig them out and these data happens to be intact. Does such data really exist in the world? Even though it does, this kind of data can not record all peoples’ behaviors and ideas, and offer a judgment that they indeed influence history’s trends and events. Therefore, it is impossible for the historians to spend large amounts of time, energy and money on this meaningless work.

Besides, when focusing on few historical celebrities, researchers can find lots of merits that refer to their personalities which are filled with signs of that time and desire of whole society. In any significant revolutions or even a single battle in history, there are always some leaders, heroes and some extraordinary individuals who affect people’s ideas and values, bring hopes to the many and thus take groups to the （这个the应该去掉吧）success with welfare and happiness. Even if descendants can find few famous individuals’ personalities and advanced ideas from the public because they are imparted to the many, it is no doubt that studying these unique personalities and ideas directly from the few individuals, is more effective and worthy.（even if 到末尾，这句没理解）

How will the historians address the problems with dilemma? In my point of view, the optimal approach for us is to seek a balance. In reality, the genuine purpose of the study on history is rooted not in reminding us of the past but rather delivering the eternal values and spirits which can provide us with a hopeful future. Obviously, any study of history should aim at this final purpose and does not need to choose what should be cared with more sight.

From the statement above, there is no denying that everyone should face the truth that the public presents a strong power to history’s process. However, no reasons can support the point that all groups should be studied with the impossibility and lack of advantages. So, what should researchers do on earth? What they should really focus all their energy on is history’s external value, but not any alternative about what they should study.  (一开始读最后一句老别扭了，后来才发现，not……but句型，一般是前面not 后面but，但这句又不能这么用，直接把but去掉即可，我感觉)

上一篇也是我改的组长的，不过是ARGUE，今天看了组长的一休才发现组长真的好厉害呀，真的~~词汇用得也高级，很多GRE的。这篇的分论点都论证得都很充分，但是我感觉最后一点的how to address the problem应该论证得再充分些就更完美了。恩恩，写得真好！！

sola-nanaUID: 2744594

Have the historians put too much attentionon individuals? How can we judge who did the most significant contributions tohistory, individuals or groups? I don’t think it is appropriate to divide onefrom the other when talk about any events or trends in history.

As for the speaker asserts the study ofhistory places too much emphasis on individuals, it is only a superficialappearance. When we are having a study about a certain era in history andfiguring out its characters, one important way is to study its representativeindividuals instead of the whole groups of people. Such individuals might be elitesin science like Einstein, politics like Rice and business like Bernanke. Theydo own abilities beyond general people and they are more responsible, intelligentand diligent than the ordinary. It is impossible for historians to have a studyon each person in the group as our limited time and energy. Historians couldnot focus on one single narrow aspect for too much time, or try to record theidentity of every ordinary person, which is obviously meaningless to the wholestudy of that era. Heroes are important not only because ordinary people needto look up to as some kind of goal to reach, but also they lead the trends inevery part of our life.

While, at the same time, without confirmationfrom other physicians and applying to practice where lives of ordinary aregreatly influenced by Einstein’s equations of special relativity what has beencalled the twentieth century’s best-known equation: E = mc2,how can he be widely regarded as one of the most influential and best knownscientists and intellectuals of all time? So it is with both Rice and Bernanke.Without ordinary people’s affirmation and supports, how could they become oneof the few best well-known elites? Without the ordinary, how could they provethe existence of the value of themselves? In addition, the ordinary are themajority composing the body of our society. They would advocate or overthrow aregime when the authorities always put people’s interests in the first place ornot as all of their wisdom and power accumulated together are infinite. Besides,there is no denying that our society is transforming from organization toordinary individuals. Each one of us is becoming citizens of a “new democratic digital-agedsociety”, as TIME accorded the honor of annual people to every users andcreators of information on the Internet in 2006. No individual could be therepresentative of the big trend of present society but the group of theordinary.

However, only with the famous few or theordinary, could not progresses of history be made as much value as when thefamous and the ordinary cooperate. The ordinary lack inspirations and innersights when they meet with significant historical issues without the leadershipof individuals from the famous few. While, the famous, without the ordinary’ssupports and cooperation, would not acquire any fame or status. However, theprogresses of history need both the famous and the ordinary which are undividedin every era of history. As one of the Eight Wonders of the world, pyramid is asymbol of great wisdom and power of the people at that time and the importanceof the leadership of the famous few, sovereigns. The individuals lead the groupto entrance a new stage in history, while steps should be taken by the group toget into.

On balance, whether historians place toomuch emphasizes on individuals could not be judged superficially. Individualsand groups of people should both be taken into account simultaneously whenstudying history. Both of them could not be divided from the other evaluatingtheir effects to a certain historical affairs. Group to individuals is as thebody of a ship to helm, they both need each other to keep balance in the sea.



嘿嘿~还是写完啦~~

钱钱去米国UID: 2761990

[color=Red]Have the historians put too much attentionon individuals? How can we judge who did the most significant contributions tohistory, individuals or groups? I don’t think it is appropriate to divide onefrom the other when talk about any events or trends in history.(这句话感觉有点怪怪的)
As for the speaker asserts the study ofhistory places too much emphasis on individuals, it is only a super（偏非常的好的意思吧，用来修饰ficial好像有点不妥） ficial appearance. When we are having a study about a certain era in history and figuring out its characters, one important way is to study its representative individuals instead of the whole groups of people. Such individuals might be elitesin science like Einstein, politics like Rice and business like Bernanke. Theydo own abilities beyond general people and they are more responsible, intelligentand diligent than the ordinary. It is impossible for historians to have a study on each person in the group as our limited time and energy. Historians couldnot focus on one single narrow aspect for too much time（这句话要说明什么，不理解）, or try to record the identity of every ordinary person, which is obviously meaningless to the wholestudy of that era. Heroes are important not only because ordinary people needto look up to as some kind of goal to reach, but also they lead the trends inevery part of our life.

While, at the same time, without confirmation from other physicians and applying to practice where lives of ordinary aregreatly influenced by Einstein’s equations of special relativity what has beencalled the twentieth century’s best-known equation: E = mc2,how can he be widely regarded as one of the most influential and best knownscientists and intellectuals of all time? So it is with both Rice and Bernanke.Without ordinary people’s affirmation and supports, how could they become one of the few best well-known elites? Without the ordinary, how could they provethe existence of the value of themselves? In addition, the ordinary are the majority composing（这个表达，are要不要阿，迷茫） the body of our society. They would advocate or overthrow aregime when the authorities always put people’s interests in the first place ornot as all of their wisdom and power accumulated together are infinite. Besides,there is no denying that our society is transforming from organization to ordinary individuals. Each one of us is becoming citizens of a “new democratic digital-agedsociety”, as TIME accorded the honor of annual people to every users andcreators of information on the Internet in 2006. No individual could be there presentative of the big trend of present society but the group of the ordinary.

However, only with the famous few or the ordinary（这话表达的有点诡异）, could not progresses of history be made as much value as when the famous and the ordinary cooperate. The ordinary lack inspirations and innersights when they meet with significant historical issues without the leadershipof individuals from the famous few. While, the famous, without the ordinary’s supports and cooperation, would not acquire any fame or status. However, the progresses of history need both the famous and the ordinary which are undividedin every era of history. As one of the Eight Wonders of the world, pyramid is asymbol of great wisdom and power of the people at that time and the importanceof the leadership of the famous few, sovereigns. The individuals lead the groupto entrance a new stage in history, while steps should be taken by the group toget into.

On balance, whether historians place toomuch emphasizes on individuals could not be judged superficially. Individualsand groups of people should both be taken into account simultaneously whenstudying history. Both of them could not be divided from the other evaluatingtheir effects to a certain historical affairs. Group to individuals is as thebody of a ship to helm, they both need each other to keep balance in the sea.（这类比体好玩的，学习）
上次也是改的sola，发现sola貌似挺喜欢用问句的说，感觉很有气势，还可以多用点高级的词哦。论证有层次，不过第四段还可以在举个例子说明一下会更好哈

weaselUID: 2739489

I feelthis statement should be interpreted broadly –to mean that the groups of peoplewho are nameless in the history had made the most significant event and trends,while historical research emphasis（emphasizes） on the famous individuals too much and thesegroups of people have been neglected. Although history is replete with storiesabout the glorious deeds of a few individuals,these famous individuals would have been unable to succeed in their daringendeavors without the support and actives（active）
participation of their fellow members.


Becauseof their superb leadership and they stand out of their groups which made the splendidevent （这句语法错误，应去掉and，你前面是个介词短语，后面怎么能and+句子呢？）,The famous individuals leave a deep impress inpeople’s mind and the rest of these groups’ members（你是不是想表达剩下来的这些群众，但是你这个the rest of。。。。。。意思就变成了groups’ members中剩下来的） became dismal comparing with theoutstanding leader. For instance, Charles de Gaulle who led the Free FrenchForces during the World War II and later founded the FrenchFifth Republicin 1958 and served as its first President from 1959 to 1969.But, France wouldhave been unable to emancipate itself without the sacrifices of the soldiers onthe European theater. The efforts of Charles de Gaulle can never be undermined(?). However, it is apparent the huge amount of publicity available toPresident would ensure the mention of the name Charles de Gaulle in historytext books for years to come. (这句表意有点不清，虽然我没读懂，但是你前面一个however，后面紧接着就是一个but，逻辑存在问题)But the Free French Forces wouldnot be succeed(v.) without the supporters ofboth the Free French Forces and Charles de Gaulle, and also the Allied soldiers.Yet, these people who are behind the scenes never find any mention in thehistory. Perhaps, it can be explain（explained） on the basis of leaders and their adherents.Leaders always get a huge share of the limelight. Their excellent leadershipskills let everybody of their groups unite. Thus, they deserve to beimmortalized by history.

However,it is impossible that the key historical figures can made that significanthistorical event and trends only by themselves. What they did were(was) just leading or call(ing)for other people to fellow（follow）
them. Such as in a battle, in stead of personally hostile ranks（？）, the chiefs in command of their men behind but when they get triumphthe public may only know the names of these chiefs whose glory is built on thesacrifices of the soldiers. But without these soldiers, these general may notget any glories.
Another example thatprove(s) this issue is about Michael Jordan In most eyes(Chinglish), Michael Jordan is the greatestbasketball player ever, he endowed with magnificent and legendary basketballcareer, and his campaign for the enormous influence ofthe inevitable（adj） forpeople to put him into a god altar. In1993, Jordan ledBulls in 6 games 4th trodden Ewing of the Knicks - this time in the EasternConference finals the Bulls will not have home advantage. Michael Jordan scored54 points the final fourth field Bulls 105-95 win. This is the turning point inthe first round 5 games, won the junior pairs of Jordan (29 points, 10 boards, 14 tohelp). But the most important scene or Pippen final seconds of continuous rununder the Knicks Charles Smith, dashed Knicks equalizer was able to give theBulls hope to leave the Garden Plaza, 97-94, 96-88 in Game 6 Bulls to the Knicks ended the journey.（这里表达的很混乱，虽然我知道这个过程，但是看了以后觉得我想的跟你说的是不是同一个事情）Thus, in most work we need partners, (缺连词)prominent person may be the leader of thisgroup and be remembered in history but we cannot ignore the impotence（无能？） of these partners of the famous individuals.

这段有较多语法错误，读起来很晦涩，表达有点Chinglish


Most ofthe famous individuals are widely mentioned in the history because of theirfabulous leadership skills. Yet, when it really mattered, it was the groupeffort that made the difference. It is the people who are the creators ofhistory.

总体来说，中心不太明确，，你只是单独证明了两个观点而已，一个是名人出名是因为他们的leadership，一个是历史是靠大众推动，到底researchers应该重点研究谁？平衡观点并不是这样写

还有例子比较繁琐，有很多无关你论点的叙述就不必说得那么详细了；
这可能原因是太注重例子，并没有把例子和观点有效地结合起来

重点需要努力的应该是语言表达，有不少的词性错误，Chinglish和语法结构错误（比如两个句子间缺乏连词），我仅指出了一些，建议下功夫学习草木版主的那个语法练习贴纠正一下

PS.拖了很长时间了，实在抱歉
言语不当，并无恶意，如有冒犯，还请原谅，继续加油：）

sola-nanaUID: 2744594

改石头同学的...
晚了好几天...不好意思

sola-nanaUID: 2744594

看到同学们热情赞扬组长的文章，就看了看，确实值得学习！
by the way
写了些自己的想法