[求助] 贴篇作文，哪位帮我改改

y10kUID: 131092

        The world is an imperfect place, and one can throw a stone of criticism in many directions. One direction in which I would throw a stone is the software piracy.

        Software piracy is evil, sordid and disrespectful to software developers. It snatches the sustenance from the starving mouths of developers and stunts the perspiration that developers fulfilled. According to the research by CNET, the leading computer science research lab, globally four out of ten programs installed are unlicensed, and the proportion is even higher in developing countries, including China, Vietnam and India. When developers see that what has been discussed most in web-based forums is how to “steal” their products, how would they feel?

        Not only does software piracy harm individual developers, but it is also destructive to the software industry. In 2001 and 2002, it cost the industry over 20 billion dollars, by which we can establish 2000 IBM deep blue super computer labs for research. It virtually hinders the growth of the industry and directly leads to lower-quality releases and fewer new programs.
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; ~+ @  E7 ^3 y  U$ }( B2 r        Some researchers argue that the reason of rampant software piracy is the unaffordable price, therefore pirates is inculpable. This assumption, in my opinion, is not just ridiculous, it is offensive. In the piracy market of China, the price of a giant software, i.e. Windows XP and Office XP, is 5 RMB ( less than 1 USD ) , while we can download tiny programs from internet without any payment. Take the quantity of software sells into consideration, if Microsoft could sell 10 million licenses Windows XP at the price of 5RMB, the margin is only 50 million RMB, poles apart from the 100 million USD developing payout.
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  T) \+ L7 [) x% s        Although software piracy has been a source of controversies since the birth of personal computer, as a software developer, I do desperately loathe this phenomenon.
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KaliUID: 110664

粗看了一下
! S( T' o6 i# O) E, r2 g感觉上用词太激烈了，特别是结尾
$ w1 g$ Q& X+ v7 d4 k建议口气改平和一点

y10kUID: 131092

最初由 Kali 发表
[B]粗看了一下
- ~; K( }6 P4 ]% x感觉上用词太激烈了，特别是结尾
- x; l% y: @( O' ^$ r建议口气改平和一点 [/B]

& _  I/ U! T0 [; `6 h; @. G@__@
) [: J# o' q" c8 H8 B加上10000个very也不足以表达我痛恨xx的心情

KaliUID: 110664

如果你真的没有办法SOFTEN你对这个话题的意见
那么，我非常真诚地建议你换个题目

y10kUID: 131092

最初由 Kali 发表
[B]如果你真的没有办法SOFTEN你对这个话题的意见
那么，我非常真诚地建议你换个题目 [/B]

9 l* ^+ z  ]. F$ C意见强烈也有问题？

yanhaoUID: 127968

对啊，关键DEAN 要通过你的PS 来了解你这个人
/ L5 L' s% {, `6 B+ e7 V$ g你觉得一个DEAN累了大半天了，突然看到一篇这样激烈而又不是吸引人的文章~~
想必效果不会好
你打算报电脑或软件专业吗？
/ L( h- h# H+ ^7 @# |8 [5 A我觉得谈自己切身经历和真真学到的东西比对某事大评价好！

KaliUID: 110664

我觉得谈自己切身经历和真真学到的东西比对某事大评价好！

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4 I8 V7 _! p8 K: t3 K" y7 T4 ragree

y10kUID: 131092

我没有说过这个是PS吧

9 \" C: ]0 F9 W. ?6 a' K9 M纯粹没事干写的