【1010G精英组】ARGUMENT209 Ambition组回收站

lvruochenUID: 2792806

如题
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xiaohaixxxUID: 2317561

占座哈~    这两天先琢磨琢磨A到底真么写~~    感觉每篇写出来都是一样的内~~~

annkeUID: 2605122

TOPIC: ARGUMENT209 - The following recommendation was made by the Human Resources Manager to the board of directors of the Fancy Toy Company.

"In the last three quarters of this year, under the leadership of our president, Pat Salvo, our profits have fallen considerably. Thus, we should ask for her resignation in return for a generous severance package. In Pat's place, we should appoint Rosa Winnings. Rosa is currently president of Starlight Jewelry, a company whose profits have increased dramatically over the past several years. Although we will have to pay Rosa twice the salary that Pat has been receiving, it will be well worth it because we can soon expect our profits to increase considerably."
WORDS: 442          TIME: 00:30:00          DATE: 2010-5-19 14:26:28

In the argument, a recommendation that Pat Salvo should resign as the president of the Fancy Toy Company was made by the arguer, based on the evidence that the profits of company have dramatically diminished. Moreover, the arguer also suggest the Fancy Toy Company had better employ Rosa Winning as a new president for her excellent performance in Starlight Jewelry company. This argument seems grounded and logical, which turn out to be suspicious.

First of all, there is no obvious evidence to demonstrate the profits shrinkage blaming to the leadership of the present president--Pat Salvo. It is highly possible that other factors causing the embarrassing profit situation. For example, if labor cost has risen unpredictably while products sales just maintain stable, the profits have no doubts fallen. And if the whole toy market encounter a terrible selling conditions due to foreign top companies' challenges or national economy crisis, the profits of the Fancy Toy Company may be seriously affected. Without ruling out such possibilities, the arguer is unconvincing to blame the president Pat Salvo and ask for her resignation.

Secondly, even though it is reasonable to believe the president Pat Salvo should be responsible for falling profits, appointing Rosa Winnings as the new president is an implausible suggestion. Because there are barely any signs showing Rosa Winnings will increase the profits of the Fancy Toy Company. The only fact we have obtained is that she has raised the profits of Starlight Jewelry company. However, a jewelry company totally differ from a toy company, for the nature of companies and methods to promote products' sales. Also, many other factors may combine to contribute to Starlight Jewelry company's promising profits rather than simply the leadership of Rosa Winnings, such as assiduous workers and scientific management. Without providing relevant information to guarantee Rosa Winnings will perform outstanding in the Fancy Toy Company, it is hastily to fire Pat Salvo and appoint Rosa Winnings.

Besides, as the argument mentions, the Fancy Toy Company has to pay Rosa twice the salary that Pat has been receiving, thus although she is capable of increasing profits for the Fancy Toy Company, it is hard to predict the final financial situation of the Fancy Toy Company for such a payment for Rosa. Maybe the result of appointment of Rosa Winnings turn out to be a failure, for the profits increased cannot compensate the cost of her salary. In conclusion, without connecting all the expenses and analyzing outcome and input, the recommendation is hardly rational.

To sum up,  based on questioning the recommendation above, we can draw a conclusion that this argument is neither sufficient information or effective, logical reasoning.

[最后的总结好少啊，不平衡。
罚抄：assiduous, assiduous, assiduous, assiduous, assiduous, assiduous, assiduous, assiduous, assiduity, assiduity, rational, rational, rational, implausible, implausible, implausible, financial, financial, fascinating.
Tips: 遇到公司名和人名可以cut，paste， 再paste。这样节约时间^_^]

annkeUID: 2605122

In this recommendation, the author suggests that it is necessary to appoint Rosa Winnings to be the president of Fancy Toy Company instead of Pat Salvo because the profits of this company have fallen considerably under the leadership of Pat Salvo. The author also claims that the profits of Starlight Jewelry, which is under [the] control of Rosa Winnings, have increased dramatically over the past several years. Though it seems to be sound, however, [the subjective assertion of the author]=[the author’s subjective assertion] relies on a series [of] unjustifiable assumption. Therefore, it is neither logical nor convincible.
Firstly, we cannot assume that Pat Salvo is a bad leader only basing on the fallen profits of this[这里再写一下公司名吧] company. Perhaps [the market of toy industry] was bad[这个表达不好] during recently years. Albeit the profits of Fancy Toy Company were declining[?这个时态是想强调什么呢？], however, it is probably better than the profits of most of other company whose type is similar to Fancy Toy’s[however, the profit situation in the Fancy Toy Company is probably better than the situations of other similar toy companies.].Moreover, there are a lot of factors, for instance, rising costs of raw materials, may[双谓语了，前面有there be] lead[ing] to declining in profits. Without considering [about去掉] more details of the phenomenon, we cannot assert that Pat Salvo did a bad job during [the past year][题目里面好像没有说只是一年，记不清了。].
Secondly, even assuming that Pat Salvo is a bad president, there [is] no evidence [shows][双谓语毛病~~] that Rosa Winnings would do better than Pat Salvo [do]. The only thing we have known about Rosa Winnings is the profits of the company which he[?Rosa应该是女名] serves have increased. However, it is probably that the profits of this company were very low so that it is easily to be increased[批判基数，好！学习！]. In addition, as we [did not] know clearly the principal business of Starlight Jewelry, we [cannot][很多地方都出现了一个句子中两个时态的问题。注意保持统一] compare it with Fancy Toy Company. Assuming that Starlight Jewelry is a company whose principal business is selling jewelry, we can obviously find that the profits of this company are easily to be very large when comparing with the profits of selling toys.[hmm…我知道你想说两个的性质和盈利模式不一样，但这个表达不是很好。] Therefore, the conclusion that Rosa Winnings is better than Pat Salvo lacks[vt] [of去掉] convincible[这个词很少见，就用ing 形式吧] evidence.
Thirdly, even if Rosa Winnings is a good president, [he] will not necessarily do well in Fancy Toy Company. As we know, there is an important factor to making a president be good is the understanding of profession[这句写得不好，有语病There is an important factor for a president to be preeminent, that is the understanding of profession.]. It is possible that Rosa Winnings has a lot of knowledge about how to selling jewelry but lacks [of] capability of leading [a] toy company. Moreover, we have not compared the advantages and disadvantages about appointing Rosa Winnings. Due to the higher salary, [the去掉，谨防滥用冠词] budget must be raised, therefore, it is doubt[suspicious] that whether the profits [match][overweigh, surpass, compensate] the higher costs. In summary, the author cannot persuade me[最好不要出现，显得不客观] to except the profits to increase considerably after appointing Rosa Winnings as president.
To sum up, the suggestion cannot be accepted. We could not assert that Pat Salvo is a bad president. Moreover, there is not adequate evidence that Rosa Winnings will do better than Pat Salvo. In conclusion, the author cannot convince me only basing on unjustifiable assumption and unsubstantiated assertion.
[文章批判的点抓得很准，很好，很到位。结构完整，清晰。估计单看argument有4.5分。
但是，注意时态和主谓一致。注意句意的替换，像do well， do better 这样的口水表达太多了点。另外，多锤炼语句的地道性。加油！！O(∩_∩)O]
3# soonyu

lvruochenUID: 2792806

209The following recommendation was made by the Human Resources Manager to the board of directors of the Fancy Toy Company.

"In the last three quarters of this year, under the leadership of our president, Pat Salvo, our profits have fallen considerably. Thus, we should ask for her resignation in return for a generous severance package. In Pat's place, we should appoint Rosa Winnings. Rosa is currently president of Starlight Jewelry, a company whose profits have increased dramatically over the past several years. Although we will have to pay Rosa twice the salary that Pat has been receiving, it will be well worth it because we can soon expect our profits to increase considerably."

560words 60minutes

Based on decrease in profits of the Fancy Toy Company under the leadership of their president, Pat Salvo, added that Rosa Winnings, president of Starlight Jewelry whose profits have increased dramatically recently, the arguer believes that it is wise for the board of directors to appoint Rosa instead of Pat. Although salary of Rosa is much higher, she deserves that for her excellent capacity, according to the arguer. Sound as the statement seems, flaws lie. It is presumptuous to judge which one is better.

To begin with, profits are not the only means to measure if the company does it work well. That is to say, we cannot make a judgment that Pat is a terrible president just because of decrease in profits. The statement rests on the assumption that a company advances only when its profits become more. This is nowhere more ridiculous than on that assertion, for profits do not say anything. If the president decides to construct more factories to chase after long-term advantage, the profits can decrease sharply recently. Nonetheless, it can benefit a company in the future. When faced with problems brought about by low reputation, presidents may do more advertise to let the products become popular. What is interesting is that, as a good way, it can reduce profits too. So, profits can be misleading sometimes.

Even if the status of profits is really the manifestation of the company's situation, there is no evidence to suggest that presidents of companies in two trades can be compared to each other in terms of profits, and then figure out which one is more capable. When it comes to changes in profits, some people are naive to a point where they simply consider that it is the president's leadership that counts for such changes. While leadership is truly a significant factor, we should not lose sight of the fact that that is never the only decisive reason whether a company becomes better or getting worse. Many other elements influence profits. For example, people's interest for the production that company makes profoundly affects profits. More tellingly, let us look deep into this case. Pat manages a toy company, while Rosa administers a jewelry company. We cannot ignore that sale of such distinct productions have different trends nowadays. As we all known, toy companies are facing with a great stress from new companies, which also provide various kinds of things for entertainment, like video games, internet fun, TV shows, et cetera, with even greater attraction to those toy customers, especially children. At the meantime, with improvement in our living conditions, jewelry is attraction more and more attention. The two companies mentioned can be just acting the same as other companies in those certain trades. In this light, it is unfair to decide which one has better capacity to do well. The only means to find out if the president has done the right things is to do comparison with companies in the same trade. That way is much convincible and pragmatic.

All in all, the statement is mainly partial in two points. If they want profits to be more, and the company to be better, it is necessary for them to find out a comprehensive method to judge the capacity of its president. The statement arguer brought forward is too simple and even irresponsible for such an important decision.

xiaohaixxxUID: 2317561

209, the following recommendation was made by the Human Resources Manager to the board of directors of the Fancy Toy Company.
"In the last three quarters of this year, under the leadership of our president, Pat Salvo, our profits have fallen considerably. Thus, we should ask for her resignation in return for a generous severance package. In Pat's place, we should appoint Rosa Winnings. Rosa is currently president of Starlight Jewelry, a company whose profits have increased dramatically over the past several years. Although we will have to pay Rosa twice the salary that Pat has been receiving, it will be well worth it because we can soon expect our profits to increase considerably."
9:40
The reasons provided in the recommendation cannot support the recommendation properly, make the recommendation inconvincible. the reasons are as followed:  
   Firstly, the period “In the last three quarters of this year” is not a long enough time to conform that Pat Salvo is not a reliable leader, there are many other reasons can lead to the depression of the company’s profits. for example: the economic crisis, the accident, or the government’s policy and so on are all can lead to the depression of the company’s profits. So just from a three quarters behavior of the company one cannot reach the conclusion that Pat Salvo is not suitable to be the leader of the company.        
What is more, the author simply equates the condition of the Fancy Toy Company with the condition of the Starlight Jewelry Company and assumes that if Rosa Winnings take Pat's place, profits in the Fancy Toy Company will rise. However, the author provide no evidence to illustrate this assumption is reasonable, and these two companies may have quite difference in management. For instance, the Fancy Toy Company may be such a company that requires its manager to be familiar with finance knowledge and the Starlight Jewelry may require a manager with charisma. Therefore the author’s assertion that if Rosa Winnings became the Fancy Toy Company’s manager, the profits of the company will rise is unwarranted.
   Moreover, even Rosa Winnings can change the current condition of the Fancy Toy Company, the feasibility of the author’s suggestion is also open to doubt. Rosa Winnings is currently president of Starlight Jewelry, why she should resign from her current company and to serve the Fancy Toy Company? Someone may say that if Rosa Winnings come to the Fancy Toy Company, she may get more salary, but the recommendation did not provide us any information about Rosa Winnings current salary, it has the possibility that Rosa Winnings current salary is much higher than twice the salary that Pat has been receiving, if so the assumption is unconvinced.   
   All in all, the author’ fails to present us a cogent illustration that Pat Salvo is not a good leader of the Fancy Toy Company meanwhile Fancy Toy Company is more suitable and willing to be the leader of the Fancy Toy Company.

lvruochenUID: 2792806

4# annke

In the argument, a recommendation that Pat Salvo should resign as the这个我确信是零冠词 president of the题头的那个the后面有修饰语的，和这个不大一样 Fancy Toy Company was made by the arguer, based on the evidence that the profits of company have dramatically diminished. Moreover, the arguer also suggests that我记得好像这个that不可省略，我是不是记错了？ the Fancy Toy Company had better employ Rosa Winning as a new president for her excellent performance in Starlight Jewelry Company. This argument seems grounded and logical, which turn out to be suspicious.学习

First of all, there is no obvious evidence to demonstrate the profits shrinkage blaming 这次我查了be to blame，不知道这里用的什么意思 to the leadership of the present president--Pat Salvo. It is highly possible that other factors causing错了 the embarrassing profit situation. For example不是说不举例呢，换一个词好一点吧, if labor cost has risen unpredictably while products sales just maintain stable, the profits have no doubts小问题 fallen这样有么？告我一声~~~. And if the whole toy market encounters a terrible selling conditions小问题 due to foreign top companies' challenges or national economy crisis, the profits of the Fancy Toy Company may be seriously affected. Without ruling out such possibilities, the arguer换成it怎么样 is unconvincing to blame the president Pat Salvo and ask for her resignation.

Secondly, even though it is reasonable to believe that我继续认为不可以省略 the president Pat Salvo should be responsible for falling profits, appointing Rosa Winnings as the new president is an implausible suggestion. Because there are barely any signs showing 连接词Rosa Winnings will increase the profits of the Fancy Toy Company. The only fact we have obtained is that she has raised the profits of Starlight Jewelry company. However, a jewelry company totally differs from a toy company, for the nature of companies and methods to promote products' sales. Also, many other factors may combine to contribute to Starlight Jewelry company's promising profits rather than simply the leadership of Rosa Winnings, such as assiduous workers很有趣的理由~~~珠宝厂 and scientific management这个理由有关. Without providing relevant information to guarantee Rosa Winnings will perform outstanding in the Fancy Toy Company, it is hastily不过有一点小错 to fire Pat Salvo and appoint Rosa Winnings.


两段一起说看法，觉得有一点重复呢
是不是想说1.利润和公司是否发展关系不紧密2.不同的行业不可以一起比3.利润差不是president的错
是不是写在一起了

Besides, as the argument mentions, the Fancy Toy Company has to pay Rosa twice the salary that Pat has been receiving, thus although she is capable of increasing profits for the Fancy Toy Company, it is hard to predict the final financial situation of the Fancy Toy Company for such a payment for Rosa. Maybe the result of appointment of Rosa Winnings turn out to be a failure, for the profits increased cannot compensate the cost of her salary. In conclusion, without connecting all the expenses and analyzing outcome and input, the recommendation is hardly rational.
我觉得工资这个不好批评，president的工资只是利润的很小一部分~~~~~~~~任何公司都是这样的

To sum up, based on questioning the recommendation above, we can draw a conclusion that this argument is neither sufficient information or effective, logical reasoning.换个词吧~~~~

结尾好短