求拍 第一篇Argument 写的很烂

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作文题目：1.The following appeared in a memorandum written by the vice president of Nature's Way, a chain of stores selling health food and otherhealth-related products.
"Previous experience has shown that our stores are most profitable in areas where residents are highly concerned with leading healthy lives. We should therefore build our next new store in Plainsville, which has many such residents. Plainsville merchants report that sales of running shoes and exercise clothing are at all-time highs. The local health club, which nearly closed five years ago due to lack of business, has more members than ever, and the weight training and aerobics classes are always full. We can even anticipate a new generation of customers: Plainsville's schoolchildren are required to participate in a 'fitness for life' program, which emphasizes the benefits of regular exercise at an early age."

In this argument , The arguer first recommends that Previous experience has shown that our stores are most profitable in areas where residents are highly concerned with leading healthy lives and there are many such residents in plainsville, then he concluds that the next store should be build in plainsville. To support the conclusion, the arguer points out that Plainsville merchants report that sales of running shoes and exercise clothing are at all-time highs .In addition, the arguer also cites the example of the local health club, which nearly closed five years ago due to lack of business, has more members than ever, and the weight training and aerobics classes are always full. This argument suffers from several critical fallacies.
In the first place, the argument is based on the gratuitous assumption that the residents in plainsville who are enthusiastic about sports and exercise will automatically become Nature’s Way’s customers. As we know, if people is accustomed to purchasing products at one store, he will be less likely to change to another except the former is not good. Even some people will not change to another though the service is unsatisfactory. Before store of Nature’s Way built in plainsville, there must be already many stores in plainsville, and local residents are more likely habituated to buy products there. Not only that, peple always exclude from the newborn things, they would rather consume in stores which they are habitual. So there is no guarantee that residents in plainsville will become Nature’s Way’s customers.
In the second places, the arguer fails to take into account the presence of competitors. There are many residents who are concerned with leading healthy lives in plainsville, but how much is the real consumption? And how many analogous stores are already there? The arguer don’t provide any relevant information to explain it. In other words, we are unaware of the relationship supply and demand, is supply exceeds demand or supply falls short of demand? Now I presume that supply exceeds demand first, it is no doubt that Nature’s Way will face huge pressure of competition if building stores there. Every corporation will try to their best to strive for loyal customers because the consumption there is constant. If supply falls short of demand, it seems to be feasible at first glance to build store in plainsville, but we should know, as the vice president of Nature’s Way can realize that there are many customers in plainsville, how can we ensure that some other analogous corporation will not do it either? If many corporations which are more powerful than Nature’s Way will build store there, the competition can be very drastic undoubtedly.
Finally, the argument omits several other factors that should be addressed, such as analysis of cost-benefit, the consumptive of the local residents, etc. The factors mentioned above can more or less affect that building store in plainsville will be profitable or not. To better evaluate the argument, we should need more information.