zak_chemistry的周六作文

zak_chemistryUID: 2612236

With the developing of our economic and our society, people have a better life than before. People do not necessary to worry about the food, the cloths and the place to live. So I agree with the speaker's opinion that it is better to spend money on traveling and vacation than to save money for the future.

Firstly, nowadays people are getting richer and richer, so it is not necessary to save money for the future. Our country is more open than ever. The market is more and more open, and people can do businesses with our own or with foreigners.

As the government put the a lot in the education resent years, there are so many elites that have been cultivated that our country can develop faster. Our country gets rich and the people get rich. And the situation makes people able to spend money on vacation.

Secondly, as our country become richer than before, the social insurance system become more complete. In the past, if a person got sick, he had to spend his much of their own money to cure the disease. But nowadays, the government spends lots of money completing the social insurance system. As a result, when a person gets sick or has some accidents and gets hurt, they need not to worry spending so much money on the cure that would has a great influence on their economical condition. The social insurance system will help them. Patients need to spend little money or do not have to spend money on their diseases. Today's social insurance system takes a great economical burden from people.

Thirdly, with the development of our society, people's minds are changing. In the past, the people who are rich tend to save the money they have earned for the future. Nowadays, although our country gets richer and people get richer, the social competitions are so much intensive. Competition becomes another great burden giving them lots of stress of spirit. So the people with a great of stress need a way to release. Traveling and vacation are good ways. They help people to relax and alley the stress from the work and make them feel happier. But saving can not help them like this.

However, it is not to say that we should not save money for the future. People are always praising a person who is sparten but a squander. Always spending money on traveling and vacation are spendthrift. People should not spendthrift. If people want to do something great, saving money is a way to approach the goal. That spending money on vacation is better does not mean that people can spend money without a plan. So saving money is also necessary to people.

In a sum, it is better to spend money on traveling or vacation than to save money for the future. But at the same time, people need to save money and they should not spendthrift.

zak_chemistryUID: 2612236

谢谢大家！！！

tmdxlpUID: 2745223

With the developing of our economic and our society, （有个老师告诉我这种表达方式比较老套，不介意的话就换个方式吧） people have a better life than before. People do not necessary to worry about the food, the cloths（感觉这个表达方式比较中文，food可以换成hunger，clothes没想出来）and the place to live. So I agree with the speaker's opinion that it is better to spend money on traveling and vacation than to save money for the future.

Firstly, nowadays people are getting richer and richer, so it is not necessary to save money for the future. Our country is more open than ever. The market is more and more open（可以换一下表达方式，有点单一了）and people can do businesses with our own or with foreigners.
As the government put the a lot in the education resent years, there are so many elites that have been cultivated that our country can develop faster. Our country gets rich and the people get rich. And the situation makes people able to spend money on vacation.
（逻辑上感觉有点问题，1. 富了就不用存钱了？2. 觉得应该是普遍意义下的，而不需要说our country，你可以写成China作为一个例子可能会比较好）3. 全段都在说市场开放了，大伙有钱了，能够去旅游了。可是题目要求的直白的就是说，你是现在有钱了，你是愿意把钱存起来还是去旅游，所以，我觉得lz还是应该把重点用在论证为什么旅游好，而不是论证有没有钱去旅游）

Secondly, as our country become richer than before, the social insurance system become more complete. In the past, if a person got sick, he had to spend his much of their own money (前面用的是 a person, 后面用的是 their own money，应该是个病句吧，我的语法也不好，呵呵) to cure the disease. But nowadays, the government spends lots of money completing the social insurance system. As a result, when a person gets sick or has some accidents and gets hurt, they need not to worry （可不可以改成they do not need to worry）spending so much money on the cure（treatment） that would has a great influence on their economical condition. The social insurance system will help them. Patients need to spend little money or do not have to spend money on their diseases（不用花钱在病上？lz是想表达治疗的，所以可以用treatment）. Today's social insurance system takes a great economical burden （是不是应该加上一个away？） from people.

Thirdly, with the development of our society, people's minds are changing. In the past, the people who are rich tend to save the money they have earned for the future. Nowadays, although our country gets richer and people get richer, the social competitions are so much intensive. Competition becomes another great burden giving them lots of stress of spirit. So the people with a great of stress need a way to release. Traveling and vacation are good ways. They help people to relax and alley the stress from the work and make them feel happier. But saving can not help them like this.

However, it is not to say that we should not save money for the future. People are always praising a person who is sparten（spartan） but a squander. Always spending money on traveling and vacation are（is） spendthrift. People should not（be） spendthrift. If people want to do something great, saving money is a way to approach the goal. That spending money on vacation is better does not mean that people can spend money without a plan. So saving money is also necessary to people.

In a sum, it is better to spend money on traveling or vacation than to save money for the future. But at the same time, people need to save money and they should not spendthrift.


1.        表达感觉有点中文
2.        句式表达比较简单，这个毛病和我一样
3.        逻辑稍显不清晰，还有觉得lz是像在写中国英语考试的作文，而不是写托福作文。建议可以看看一两篇托福范文。熟悉一下写作方式
4.        主语谓语有些没有一致

junedreamjuneUID: 2700743

With the developing of our economic and our society, people have a better life than before. People do not necessary to worry about the food, the cloths and the place to live. So I agree with the speaker's opinion that it is better to spend money on traveling and vacation than to save money for the future.

Firstly, nowadays people are getting richer and richer, so it is not necessary to save money for the future. Our country is more open than ever. The market is more and more (more) open, and people can do businesses with our own or with foreigners. As the government put the a lot in the education resent years, there are so many elites that have been cultivated that our country can develop faster. Our country gets rich and the people get rich. And the situation makes people able to spend money on vacation.

Secondly, as our country become richer than before, the social insurance system become more complete. In the past, if a person got sick, he had to spend his much of their own money to cure the disease. But nowadays, the government spends lots of money completing the social insurance system. As a result, when a person gets sick or has some accidents and gets hurt, they need not to worry spending so much money on the cure that would has a great influence on their economical condition. The social insurance system will help them. Patients only need to spend little money or simply do not have to spend money on their diseases. Today's social insurance system takes (reliefs) a great economical burden from people.

Thirdly, with the development of our society, people's minds are changing. In the past, the people who are rich (rich people) tend to save the money they have earned for the future. Nowadays, although our country gets richer and people get richer, the social competitions are so much intensive. Competition becomes another great burden giving them lots of stress of spirit. So the people with a great of stress need a way to release. Traveling and vacation are good ways. They help people to relax and alley the stress from the work and make them feel happier. But saving can not help them like this.

However, it is not to say that we should not save money for the future. People are always praising a person who is sparten but a squander (GOOD). Always spending money on traveling and vacation are spendthrift. People should not spendthrift. If people (repetitive-建议改成they) want to do something great, saving money is a way to approach the goal. That spending money on vacation is better does not mean that people can spend money without a plan. So saving money is also necessary to people.

In a sum, it is better to spend money on traveling or vacation than to save money for the future. But at the same time, people need to save money and they should not spendthrift.

文章论点很不错结构很好，值得学习~
除了楼上同学改出来的一些错误，我又改了一些另一方面的问题，红字的部分是我觉得有些拖沓或不够精确的用法，最后一段论证有些较好的词汇，但综观全文希望有些更多变的词汇句式。这些问题其实我也有，希望共同进步:)