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[主题活动] issue221&argument236---欢迎拍文作文修改小组6月21日作业 [复制链接]

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发表于 2010-6-20 17:34:04 |显示全部楼层
issue221
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"The chief benefit of the study of history is to break down the illusion that people in one period of time are significantly different from people who lived at any other time in history."
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argument236
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The following appeared as a letter to the editor of a local Solano newspaper.
"The Solano school district should do away with its music education programs. After all, music programs are not especially popular in our schools: only 20 percent of our high school students participated in music programs last year. Furthermore, very few of the Solano district's college-bound students are interested in majoring in music at the university level. Also, when the school district of our neighboring town of Rutherford eliminated its music programs two years ago, the overall grade point average in the high school increased by 10 percent the next year. Surely the money spent on Solano music programs could be better used to improve the quality of traditional academic courses."
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发表于 2010-6-21 17:41:33 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 fchenyan 于 2010-6-21 17:43 编辑

这次作业准备时间比较长,也参考了一些东西,写起来觉得比较顺手所以写得比前两次长了一些,希望修改的同学不吝惜用犀利的眼光和严苛的词语“拍”!先谢过。
TOPIC: ISSUE221 - "The chief benefit of the study of history is to break down the illusion that people in one period of time are significantly different from people who lived at any other time in history."
WORDS: 521          TIME: 00:50:00          DATE: 2010-06-21 17:22:53

History, in its broadest sense, is the totality of all past events, although a more realistic definition would limit it to the known past. Moreover the purpose of the study of history as a serious endeavor to understand human life is never fulfilled by mere sifting of evidence for facts, and fact-finding is only the foundation for the selection, arrangement, and explanation that constitute historical interpretation. So the chief benefit of the study of history is not to break down but to exploit and make use of the difference between people in one period of time and who lived at any other time in history.

There is no denying that people in one period of time are significantly different from people who live at any other time in history, but we should not feel satisfied by only possessing facts of any time in history because it is only the first step of the study of history.  

On the other side, it is unwarranted to break down the illusion referred in the issue because of the existence of the significant difference. In terms of faith and values modern people differ greatly from people who lived in the Middle Ages in the west. In terms of life styles contemporary Americans have almost nothing in common with their puritan ancestors-- the first settlers in the New World. Even in the same period of time in history, people living in one culture could be different in many ways from people in another culture.

However, the biggest present given by the history of the human being is the significant differences and that are what our study of history is based on. Without those difference, our history would be immutable and frozen and we would be buried deep in desperation because once no change and difference there will be nothing to promote historical progress. It is frustrating to stay the same no matter where and when and who you are.

Thanks to the difference, they tell both what we should do and not while decorating our world. People are taking advantage of all kinds of differences in various ways. Study the dramatic changes in the history, we can learn to keep fingers on the pulse of progressive of era. Referring to the way people's habits and customs transforming we can pick up ideas for new products and new designs for fashion.  Investigating deeds of people who lived at any time in history is a common way for people to teach themselves and their next generation to grow.  Researching into different people in different era, we can accumulate enough examples of both positive and negative, that telling us what to do in the next step and in the future. So it is the differences make us powerful in facing all kinds of problem.

In summary, fact-finding and difference-telling is the just the first step of the study of the history, we should take exploiting and making use of them as the chief of study of the history, but not breaking down the illusion that the existence of significant difference between people living at different time in the history.



TOPIC: ARGUMENT236 - The following appeared as a letter to the editor of a local Solano newspaper.

"The Solano school district should do away with its music education programs. After all, music programs are not especially popular in our schools: only 20 percent of our high school students participated in music programs last year. Furthermore, very few of the Solano district's college-bound students are interested in majoring in music at the university level. Also, when the school district of our neighboring town of Rutherford eliminated its music programs two years ago, the overall grade point average in the high school increased by 10 percent the next year. Surely the money spent on Solano music programs could be better used to improve the quality of traditional academic courses."
WORDS: 497          TIME: 00:40:00          DATE: 2010-06-21 17:22:53

The letter to the editor of a local Solano newspaper suggests that the Solano school district should do away with its music education programs. To support the conclusion, the author referred to students of high schools and universities in the school district and makes an analogue between school district in the neighboring. However the argument is not well reasoned and it suffers from several critical fallacies.

First, the argument is based on the assumption that programs that are not especially popular should be done away with. That is to say, courses are offered for the reason that they are useful and helpful to the students but not to satisfy interests of individuals.  While so many students are complaining that mathematics is difficult and it is never reach the level of popular, but it is common accepted that math programs are necessary for any student. And so is to music as a fundamental capability to improve the quality of living and sometimes can be used to earn one's living. As considering the future of the students, we should encourage them to join programs that are not popular but useful to them.

Second, we cannot draw the conclusion that programs of music are not especially popular from the cited survey. Sometimes, it turns out that students have to forgo courses of music of some reasons that are not from their own will. Even so, data of the last year is not enough to illustrate what students in the whole school district are thinking and will think. If we do away the music programs for that matter, we are closing a door for the following students, and this is unfair and cruel.  In mention of the students at university, in fact they have little opportunity to participate in music programs and they have pressure of employment, so that is not result from that they are not interested in. That is to say we should not rob them the tininess chance of learning music.

Third, the argument is based on a false analogy. The arguer simply assumes that the Solano school district is similar to the school district of the neighboring town. As we know, there are so many differences between the two districts that what is feasible may be not workable in Solano though there things in common.

At last, the writer makes a mistake by leaving music out of the traditional academic courses. We all know that music is an important part of education since the beginning of the history of academic education. Furthermore we should not neglect the contribution to other courses made by programs of music. There is no necessity to enumerate the importance of music to students’ growing up and progressing.

In conclusion, the arguer wrongly recognize programs of music are optional and advise the school district to go without such kind of courses aiming at transforming money to other academic courses. There are so many weak points that the recommendation is not convincible at all.

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发表于 2010-6-21 22:46:04 |显示全部楼层
TOPIC: ISSUE221 - "The chief benefit of the study of history is to break down the illusion that people in one period of time are significantly different from people who lived at any other time in history."
WORDS: 438          TIME: 00:44:23          DATE: 2010-6-21 下午 10:39:34

Generally speaking, the significance of study of history can hardly be concluded in a few words, Therefore, seeing from this aspect mentioned above, although it may be narrow to just limit the primary functions of history study merely within "break down the illusion". I acknowledge fundamentally that during the process of history study, people will realize that they actually share much in common with their ancestors gradually, in spite of various superfacial differences.

Before acknowledging that history study can indeed break down such an illusion, it is human nature for anyone to first wonder that why we may consider that poeple living in one period are distinguished from those who lived in another. It is no doubt that if a person lacks basic knowledge or awareness of the evolution of history between other person and himself, he will feel strange of those who beyond his own time when confronting with them on magazines or other mediums, Therefore, the answer to question at the beginning of the paragraph seems clear that the illusion is caused by the lack of the adequate edification of history.

With having solved this problem, for the modern people who get some kind of knowledge about history, it is not hard to conclude that  people in different times may behavior different. They tell apart technology ,life style and tastes for arts. How were ancient people feeling when you are using a computer to surf on the Internet? How can they imagine washing clothes, cleaning up the house, cooking dinners can be done at the same time with the highly developed technology. Ostensibly, the development of history make our life extremely convenient.

However, there are many things that keep unchanged like ethical customs, cultural spirits, living habits which is relatively eternal, most people nowadays still sublime some ethics such as honesty, modesty and bravery. Because of the useness of these ethics still plays significant role in modern society, persons will lose the base and essence are bound to fail in competition. In addition, some ancient works which survived still influence today 's life. For instance, ''the law of war" written by Su Wu who is the most prominent martialist in China can instruct many modern campaigns, the novel" the old man and the sea" has incited many people all over the world.

Not until people realized we have no essential difference, can they be wiser and smarter in dealing with the modern affairs, because they have known not only can they study from the knowledge taught by the contemporaries, but also they can absorb experience from ancient affairs because there are many similarities between ancient people and modern people which is a chief benefit history study brought us.

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发表于 2010-6-21 22:46:52 |显示全部楼层
TOPIC: ARGUMENT236 - The following appeared as a letter to the editor of a local Solano newspaper.

"The Solano school district should do away with its music education programs. After all, music programs are not especially popular in our schools: only 20 percent of our high school students participated in music programs last year. Furthermore, very few of the Solano district's college-bound students are interested in majoring in music at the university level. Also, when the school district of our neighboring town of Rutherford eliminated its music programs two years ago, the overall grade point average in the high school increased by 10 percent the next year. Surely the money spent on Solano music programs could be better used to improve the quality of traditional academic courses."
WORDS: 457          TIME: 00:49:43          DATE: 2010-6-21 下午 08:53:51

This argument indicates that music programs should be cut down in the Solano (S) school due to this music program is not especially popular and compared with Rutherford (R) school whose overall grade point average has increased by 10 percent with canceling its music programs two years ago, maybe money spent on S music program could be better used to improve the quality of traditional academic courses. However, as far as I concerned, this argument is problematic in following critical aspects.

First of all, the argument is based on a false analogy between R and S. Even though elimination of music programs proved effective in R, there is no guarantee that S will work as well as R for they are totally different schools. They may share little in geographical area, main points in courses, and students' attitude toward music programs. Maybe students in R are taking other art courses instead of music programs. As a result, R and S do not establish a warranted analogy, so we cannot assume that.

Another problem with the argument involves the implicit claim that S should do away with its music programs for the reasons that only 20 percent students choose this course. Music as a significant kind of art plays an important role in an individual's life, students could benefit a lot from music programs which inspire their ideas as well as academic courses, and if the courses has been canceled, how can these 20 percent students take music courses which might be their interests?

Thirdly, even though the overall grade point average in the high school of R increased by 10 percent, it is unjustified to attribute this progress all to the result of eliminating musical classes, the arguer ignores several factors that may cause increase of grade. Perhaps R invited some new excellent professors to improve teaching, or maybe students in R are making high goals to hunt better jobs so as they begin to study harder than before, or maybe it receives more funding in encouraging students who are with good efforts. Without ruling out these possibilities, the author's claim is still doubtful at best.

And the last flaw is very few of S district's college-bound students do not represent all the students in S, it is quite possible that students who do not want to go to universities are aiming at studying music in order to master a skill to get a job in society.

To sum up, this argument is not persuasive as it stands, to strengthen it the author should provide more sufficient evidence that can demonstrate the point which goes that deleting music programs brings benefit in increasing overall grade and the increase in R's grades was the result of its discontinuing music courses.

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发表于 2010-6-22 11:32:17 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 raysun77 于 2010-6-22 12:30 编辑

2# fchenyan
The letter to the editor of a local Solano newspaper suggests that the Solano school district should do away with its music education programs. To support the conclusion, the author referred to students of high schools and universities in the school district 1.university 不是在the school district 2. refer的应该是选音乐课程的学生的数量,
不是学生本身吧,这样系会有歧义的吧) and makes an analogue between school district in the neighboring.referred makes, 前后时态不一致)
However the argument is not well reasoned and it suffers from several critical fallacies.(这句话很好,记下了@~


First, the argument is based on the assumption that programs that are not especially popular should be done away with
(这里应该有with吗?). That is to say, courses are offered for the reason that they are useful and helpful to the students but not to satisfy interests of individuals.(这句话跟前面的意思反了吧,逻辑应该是这篇文章基于一个假设A
也就是说事实是B(由A推出的结论)而不是C(A推出的结论相反)  While so many students are complaining that mathematics is difficult and it is never reach the level of popular, but it is common accepted that math programs are necessary for any student(这个例子好!!). And so is to music as a fundamental capability to improve the quality of living and sometimes can be used to earn one's living. As considering the future of the students, we should encourage them to join programs that are not popular but useful to them.

Second, we cannot draw the conclusion that programs of music are not especially popular from the cited survey. Sometimes, it turns out that students have to forgo courses of music of some reasons that are not from their own will. Even so, data of the last year is not enough to illustrate what students in the whole school district are thinking and will think. If we do away the music programs for that matter, we are closing
close是非延时动词吧,可以用现在进行是吗?) a door for the following students, and this is unfair and cruel.  In mention of the students at university, in fact they have little opportunity to participate in music programs and they have pressure of employment, so that is not result from that they are not interested in.college-bound 的意思是准大学生,
在这里指 The Solano school district 要考大学的学生只有很少很少few的学生选音乐作为他们的专业,editor试图更深一步的证明学生对音乐课不感兴趣,楼主理解出现偏差了哈)That is to say we should not rob them the tininess chance of learning music.

Third, the argument is based on a false analogy. The arguer simply assumes that the Solano school district is similar to the school district of the neighboring town. As we know, there are so many differences between the two districts that what is feasible may be not workable in Solano though there things in common.
(感觉这段论证与前几段相比有些单薄,可以举几个例子证明两个地区存在的不同之处,或者放在最后一段举小错误时用)

At last, the writer makes a mistake by leaving music out of the traditional academic courses. We all know that music is an important part of education since the beginning of the history of academic education. Furthermore we should not neglect the contribution to other courses made by programs of music. There is no necessity to enumerate the importance of music to students’ growing up and progressing.

In conclusion, the arguer wrongly recognize programs of music are optional and advise the school district to go without such kind of courses aiming at transforming money to other academic courses. There are so many weak points that the recommendation is not convincible at all.

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发表于 2010-6-22 12:28:36 |显示全部楼层
4# jessie_1017
This argument indicates that music programs should be cut down in the Solano (S) school due to this music program is not especially popular and compared with Rutherford (R) school music program compared with R school?两个比较对象性质不一致)whose overall grade point average has increased by 10 percent with canceling its music programs two years ago, maybe money spent on S music program could be better used to improve the quality of traditional academic courses. However, as far as I concerned, this argument is problematic in following critical aspects.

First of all, the argument is based on a false analogy between R and S. Even though elimination of music programs proved effective in R, there is no guarantee that S will work as well as R for they are totally different schools. They may share little in geographical area, main points in courses, and students' attitude toward music programs. Maybe students in R are taking other art courses instead of music programs. As a result, R and S do not establish a warranted analogy, so we cannot assume that.

Another problem with the argument involves the implicit claim that S should do away with its music programs for the reasons that only 20 percent students choose this course. Music as a significant kind of art plays an important role in an individual's life, students could benefit a lot from music programs which inspire their ideas as well as academic courses, and if the courses has been canceled, how can these 20 percent students take music courses which might be their interests?
(这一句话太长了,而且连着换了好几个主语,有中式英语的味道)

Thirdly, even though the overall grade point average in the high school of R increased by 10 percent, it is unjustified to attribute this progress all to the result of eliminating musical classes, the arguer ignores several factors that may cause increase of grade. Perhaps R invited some new excellent professors to improve the quality of teaching, or maybe students in R are making high goals to hunt better jobs so as they begin to study harder than before, or maybe it receives more funding in encouraging students who are with good efforts. Without ruling out these possibilities, the author's claim is still doubtful at best.

And the last flaw is very few of S district's college-bound students do not represent all the students in S, it is quite possible that students who do not want to go to universities are aiming at studying music in order to master a skill to get a job in society.

To sum up, this argument is not persuasive as it stands, to strengthen it the author should provide more sufficient evidence that can demonstrate the point which goes that deleting music programs brings benefit in increasing overall grade and the increase in R's grades was the result of its discontinuing music courses.


你第二段说S R 之间存在不同之处,所以不能。。。。。。第三段说20%的学生选音乐课程不能证明音乐不受欢迎,第四段又回到SR的问题上,最后一段又在说S 学校嘘声的问题,这样会个人一种逻辑混乱一会东一会西的感觉,不如重新组织一下, 20%的学生选音乐课程,只有few的学生选音乐做专业不能证明音乐不受欢迎---- ----即使音乐真的不受欢迎, 也不能说R在取消音乐之后所取得的成绩在S一样可以实现,因为两者存在不同之处----即使两者真的是很similar,也不能说R取得的成绩就是因为取消了音乐课,balabalabala。。。。。

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发表于 2010-6-22 17:08:05 |显示全部楼层
3# jessie_1017
Generally speaking, the significance of study of history can hardly be concluded in a few words, Therefore, seeing from this aspect mentioned above, although
it may be narrow to just limit the primary functions of history study merely within "break down the illusion". I acknowledge fundamentally that during the process of history study, people will realize that they actually share much in common with their ancestors gradually, in spite of various superfacial differences.
说不出来的感觉,我看懂你的意思了,但是就是感觉那里有些怪)


Before acknowledging that history study can indeed break down such an illusion, it is human nature for anyone to first wonder that why we may consider that poeple living in one period are distinguished from those who lived in another. It is no doubt that if a person lacks basic knowledge or awareness of the evolution of history between other person and himself, he will feel strange of those who beyond his own time when confronting with them on magazines or other mediums, Therefore, the answer to question at the beginning of the paragraph seems clear that the illusion is caused by the lack of the adequate edification of history.

With having solved this problem, for the modern people who get some kind of knowledge about history, it is not hard to conclude that  people in different times may behavior different. They tell apart technology ,life style and tastes for arts. How were ancient people feeling when you are using a computer to surf on the Internet? How can they imagine washing clothes, cleaning up the house, cooking dinners can be done at the same time with the highly developed technology. Ostensibly, the development of history make our life extremely convenient.
(感觉你这段有点走题,有一半的篇幅再说古人无法想象现代人的生活,这只是因为古人没有现代这么高的科技而已。但这不能说明古人和现代人有本质上的区别)

However, there are many things that keep unchanged like ethical customs, cultural spirits, living habits which is relatively eternal, most people nowadays still sublime some ethics such as honesty, modesty and bravery. Because of the useness of these ethics still plays significant role in modern society, persons will lose the base and essence are bound to fail in competition. In addition, some ancient works which survived still influence today 's life. For instance, ''the law of war" written by Su Wu who is the most prominent martialist in China can instruct many modern campaigns, the novel" the old man and the sea" has incited many people all over the world.

Not until people realized we have no essential difference, can they be wiser and smarter in dealing with the modern affairs, because they have known not only can they study from the knowledge taught by the contemporaries, but also they can absorb experience from ancient affairs because there are many similarities between ancient people and modern people which is a chief benefit history study brought us.

你是同意这个statement的,但是你却用大部分的篇幅陈述古人和现代人的不同之处。而且论点与论证过程之间衔接不紧,建议不要急着卡时间写作文,先练一下会比较好。 其实我的问题也很多,现在努力改正中,大家一起加油吧!!

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发表于 2010-6-22 20:38:44 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 clover213 于 2010-6-22 20:58 编辑

TOPIC: ISSUE221 - "The chief benefit of the study of history is to break down the illusion that people in one period of time are significantly different from people who lived at any other time in history."
WORDS: 521          TIME: 00:50:00          DATE: 2010-06-21 17:22:53

History, in its broadest sense, is the totality of all past events, although a more realistic definition would limit it to the known past. Moreover the purpose of the study of history as a serious endeavor to understand human life is never fulfilled by mere sifting of evidence for facts, and fact-finding is only the foundation for the selection, arrangement, and explanation that constitute historical interpretation.(handshake我也用了这一句。。所以我们得警惕了。以后摘抄怎么都得有点小改动。。) So the chief benefit(我有点confused这个so和前面所叙述的有什么因果关系呢。。)  of the study of history is not to break down but to exploit and make use of the difference between people in one period of time and who lived at any other time in history.(break down 的是illusion make use of的是difference。谓语不一样啊)

There is no denying that people in one period of time are significantly different from people who live at any other time in history, but we should not feel satisfied by only possessing facts of any time in history because it is only the first step of the study of history.  (题目的观点是不同时代的人没有很大区别,第一段一上来就否定了这一观点但没有进一步的拿出论据,感觉有点空。紧接着的 but we should not feel satisfied ..给人感觉接下来就要说我们还应该怎么做。。可是后面就没有了。有点奇怪。)
On the other side, it is unwarranted to break down the illusion referred in the issue because of the existence of the significant difference. In terms of faith and values modern people differ greatly from people who lived in the Middle Ages in the west. In terms of life styles contemporary Americans have almost nothing in common with their puritan ancestors-- the first settlers in the New World. Even in the same period of time in history, people living in one culture could be different in many ways from people in another culture.(感觉可以和第一段合为一段啊~)

However(这个但是也和前面没有转折关系啊), the biggest present given by the history of the human being is the significant differences and that are what our study of history is based on. Without those difference(differences?), our history would be immutable and frozen and we would be buried deep in desperation because once no change and difference there will be nothing to promote historical progress. It is frustrating to stay the same no matter where and when and who you are.

Thanks to the difference, they tell both what we should do and not while decorating our world. People are taking advantage of all kinds of differences in various ways. Study the dramatic changes in the history, we can learn to keep fingers on the pulse of progressive of era. Referring to the way people's habits and customs transforming we can pick up ideas for new products and new designs for fashion.  Investigating deeds of people who lived at any time in history is a common way for people to teach themselves and their next generation to grow.  Researching into different people in different era, we can accumulate enough examples of both positive and negative, that telling us what to do in the next step and in the future. So it is the differences(difference?) make us powerful in facing all kinds of problem.

In summary, fact-finding and difference-telling is the just the first step of the study of the history, we should take exploiting and making use of them as the chief of study of the history, but not breaking down the illusion that the existence of significant difference between people living at different time in the history.

不知我理解对没有,
本文第一段论点是:不能否认不同时代的人存在很大不同,但我们不能仅仅满足于知道这点,这是研究历史的第一步。
第二段论点是:在另一方面,因为这些不同所以break down the illusion 是unwarranted 。
第三段论点:但是,历史给人类最大的礼物就是这些不同。
第四段论点:因为有了这些不同,人们才可以#¥%%。

如果按照我上面的翻译,就会发现本文一直在说 不同时代的人是不同的 ,这些不同很好 是历史给我们的礼物,有了这些不同我们才能够#%%,整篇文章除了第二个论点在直接反驳题目外似乎都纠结在不同上了。。

我的理解是 题目存在两个破题点 一是chief benefit。  二是不同时代的人没有很大不同。 所以应该紧扣这两点论点进行反驳或支持~ 感觉文章扣得不是很紧。
如果有理解错误的地方希望包涵哈~
这次的例子用得还不错, 语言也比原来精炼多了~

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发表于 2010-6-22 22:46:41 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 jessie_1017 于 2010-6-22 22:48 编辑

History, in its broadest sense, is the totality of all past events, although a more realistic definition would limit it to the known past. Moreover the purpose of the study of history as a serious endeavor to understand human life is never fulfilled by mere sifting of evidence for facts,写得好 and fact-finding is only the foundation for the selection, arrangement, and explanation that constitute historical interpretation. So the chief benefit of the study of history is not to break down but to exploit and make use of the difference between people in one period of time and who lived at any other time in history.

There is no denying that people in one period of time are significantly different from people who live at any other time in history, but we should not feel satisfied by only possessing facts of any time in history because it is only the first step of the study of history. (这段在文章中的作用不大,与中心也不切合,可以考虑省略。)

On the other side, it is unwarranted to break down the illusion referred in the issue because of the existence of the significant difference. In terms of faith and values modern people differ greatly from people who lived in the Middle Ages in the west. In terms of life styles contemporary Americans have almost nothing in common with their puritan ancestors-- the first settlers in the New World. Even in the same period of time in history, people living in one culture could be different in many ways from people in another culture.

However, the biggest present given by the history of the human being is the significant differences and that are what our study of history is based on. Without those difference, our history would be immutable and frozen and we would be buried deep in desperation because once no change and difference there will be nothing to promote historical progress. It is frustrating to stay the same no matter where and when and who you are.

Thanks to the difference, they tell both what we should do and not while decorating our world. People are taking advantage of all kinds of differences in various ways. Study the dramatic changes in the history, we can learn to keep fingers on the pulse of progressive of era. Referring to the way people's habits and customs transforming we can pick up ideas for new products and new designs for fashion.  Investigating deeds of people who lived at any time in history is a common way for people to teach themselves and their next generation to grow.  Researching into different people in different era, we can accumulate enough examples of both positive and negative, that telling us what to do in the next step and in the future. So it is the differences (that)make us powerful in facing all kinds of problem(s).

In summary, fact-finding and difference-telling is the(去掉) just the first step of the study of the history, we should take exploiting(exploitation) and making use of them as the chief of study of the history, but not breaking down the illusion that the existence of significant difference between people living at different time in the history.
我有个疑问,题目说的假象是指不同时代的人是不同的,那么研究历史的作用在于打破这个假象,也就是说人类其实在某些方面是相通的,如果是这个意思的话,作者的文章过于强调differences而偏题了。

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发表于 2010-6-23 15:19:43 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 clover213 于 2010-6-23 15:20 编辑

TOPIC: ISSUE221 - "The chief benefit of the study of history is to break down the illusion that people in one period of time are significantly different from people who lived at any other time in history."
WORDS: 438          TIME: 00:44:23          DATE: 2010-6-21 下午 10:39:34

Generally speaking, the significance of study of history can hardly be concluded in a few words,(句号?) Therefore, seeing from this aspect mentioned above, although it may be narrow to just limit the primary functions of history study merely within "break down the illusion". (逗号吧?前面的话还没有主语。。)I acknowledge fundamentally that during the process of history study, people will realize that they actually share much in common with their ancestors gradually, in spite of various superfacial differences.(作者对写长句掌握得很好啊~)

Before acknowledging that history study can indeed break down such an illusion, it is human nature for anyone to first wonder that why we may consider that poeple living in one period are distinguished from those who lived in another. It is no doubt that if a person lacks basic knowledge or awareness of the evolution of history between other person and himself, he will feel strange of those who beyond his own time when confronting with them on magazines or other mediums, Therefore, the answer to question at the beginning of the paragraph seems clear that the illusion is caused by the lack of the adequate edification of history.

With having solved this problem, for the modern people who get some kind of knowledge about history, it is not hard to conclude that  people in different times may behavior (behave?)different(differently). They tell apart technology ,life style(styles) and tastes for arts. How were ancient people feeling when you are using a computer to surf on the Internet? How can they imagine washing clothes, cleaning up the house, cooking dinners can be done at the same time with the highly developed technology. Ostensibly, the development of history make our life extremely convenient.

However, there are many things that keep unchanged like ethical customs, cultural spirits, living habits which is relatively eternal, most people nowadays still sublime some ethics such as honesty, modesty and bravery. Because of the useness(?) of these ethics still plays significant role in modern society, persons will lose the base and essence are bound to fail in competition. In addition, some ancient works which survived still influence today 's life. For instance, ''the law of war" written by Su Wu who is the most prominent martialist in China can instruct many modern campaigns, the novel" the old man and the sea" has incited many people all over the world.(这段论点比较好。。可是表述有些模糊)

Not until people realized we have no essential difference, can they be wiser and smarter in dealing with the modern affairs, because they have known not only can they study from the knowledge taught by the contemporaries, but also they can absorb experience from ancient affairs because there are many similarities between ancient people and modern people which is a chief benefit history study brought us。

感觉全文几点论据逻辑有点模糊,建议再精炼一下文章结构。 这篇文章题目确实有点令人confused,可以多查些资料便于理清思路。

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RE: issue221&argument236---欢迎拍文作文修改小组6月21日作业 [修改]

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