飞跃美利坚作文大训练

peggy890UID：2812709

15# polaris_jie

谢谢，谢谢
都是些很不错的建议呢
以后可以多和你切磋作文呢，我的作文就是感觉有时候太chiglish了，自己要表达的中文意思很明确
但是一到英文，可能因为思维转换还是什么就很容易让人迷惑了。。。

peggy890UID：2812709

14# mollymollymolly
其实写英语作文跟中文差不多
多想想一些原因，先用中文想
然后积累英文表达法，可能对最开始你的思维比较有好处

peggy890UID：2812709

Steeping into an entirely new epoch which is totally different with the past, not only our life style but also values toward success changed through the rocket development in various fields. Also, attitude towards the everlasting hot topic ‘which elements led to personal success’ arouse attention from various individuals. Some bolster the opinion that trying new things and taking risks are the peerless tools which lead success to personal achievement, when the concept that creativity and sprit of adventure are taken into consideration. In contrast, another group argue that things they expertise are the keen aspects to success. In my opinion, both of them are favorable for people to realize their individual values.
To begin with, the accumulation of certain things are initial for future career. When we are green hand in certain field, we need plenty of exercise to perfect ourselves with basic skills just like Leonardo da vinci did. When he begun to learn how to paint, he was commanded to spent all his time on painting ordinary eggs. As the old saying goes, practice makes perfect. Although it is tedious and boring at first, it surely results a sophisticated skills for his future success on the description of details. That is, things he’s done well from early practice acted as the driving force for the future achievement on sketch and peerless success in art history.
Furthermore, trying refresh things and taking a risk are also needed to deepen your achievement. Success is a dynamic and continuous procedure rather than the destination for you to reach. As a truly successor, you are not expected to stop or even halt for a while. What you should do is to repack yourself and keeping exploring with the sprit of creativity and adventure. Take Edison, a productive inventors as an example. Although famous enough after the success of inviting light bulb, he kept take risks and invite various things in a quite wide extent, which won a world-wide reputation as the example of successful person.
In a word, both elements are essential for people to achieve their individual values The relation between them are complementary rather than contradictory with each other. So, it is not a wise decision to separate one from another on the way seeking to success, when a prior choice of combining them together are taken into fully consideration.

lv1015UID：2505136

Steeping into an entirely new epoch which is totally different with（from）the past, not only our life style but also values toward success changed through the rocket development (in rocket speed) in various fields. Also, attitude towards the everlasting hot topic ‘which elements led to personal success’ arouse attention from various individuals. Some bolster the opinion that trying new things and taking risks are the peerless tools which lead success to personal achievement, when the concept that creativity and sprit of adventure are taken into consideration. In contrast, another group argue that things they expertise are the keen aspects to success. In my opinion, both of them are favorable for people to realize their individual values.(这个point应该不是本题目的论述重点)


/ m/ y- a* ?) n6 C5 ^! oTo begin with, the accumulation of certain things（better make “certain things” clear at the start） are initial for future career. When we are green hand in certain field, we need plenty of exercise to perfect ourselves with basic skills just like Leonardo da vinci did. When he begun to learn how to paint, he was commanded to spent all his time on painting ordinary eggs. As the old saying goes, practice makes perfect. Although it is tedious and boring at first, it surely results a sophisticated skills for his future success on the description of details. That is, things he’s done well from early practice acted as the driving force for the future achievement on sketch and peerless success in art history.3 T, t; B4 i2 O%M-
（本段的主旨是要想获得成功，就必须潜心刻苦练习专业水平，使自己具有一技之长）

Furthermore, trying refresh things and taking a risk are also needed to deepen your achievement. Success is a dynamic and continuous procedure rather than the destination for you to reach. As a truly successor（这个是继任者的意思）, you are not expected to stop or even halt for a while. What you should do is to repack yourself and keeping exploring with the sprit of creativity and adventure. Take Edison, a productive inventors as an example. Although famous enough after the success of inviting light bulb, he kept take risks and invite various things in a quite wide extent, which won a world-wide reputation as the example of successful person.
（本段的主旨是除了苦练基本功外，还要勇于尝试新的挑战，这样才能获得成功）

In a word, both elements are essential for people to achieve their individual values The relation between them are complementary rather than contradictory with each other. So, it is not a wise decision to separate one from another on the way seeking to success, when a prior choice of combining them together are taken into fully consideration.
（概括全文，主要围绕怎样获得成功以及获得成功两个重要因素来论述，我觉得有些跑题，Successful people take new things and take risks rather than the thing that they've done well，题目要求的是论述成功人士更愿意去不断闯荡江湖还是守住已有的美好天地现状，二者肯定需要择其一。而重点不是怎样获得成功，）



这是我的批改，不对的地方希望多多交流哈。

peggy890UID：2812709

7 3 task
In order to solve the problems of the present and future, it is necessary to understand the past
The past would never be a liar and the history always tells the truth.When people are arguing on method which are helpful for us to solve problems we faced now, the function of past is at the center of this topic. A fair portion of people bolster the perspective that history only tells story about the past, which means it has nothing to do with current affairs. In contrast to them are people who hold the viewpoint that have a better understanding on history is of great essence on solving present problems. Taken complete consideration on it, I prefer to select the latter group as my prior answer on this argument.
Firstly, majority of issues happened in the past have a lot of common with problems we face. In accordance with principles of noted philosophers, everything in the world are directly pr indirectly related. When the theory is applied in the relationship between current problems and history, it can be easily deduced that we can learn lots of experience from problems which is similar to current ones, which is surely inspire us to think about more solutions to compare.

Secondly, understanding of history can also add courage to deal with difficulties. When I was bothered by how to encourage myself to go out of the shadow of failure, stories of Beethoven who are so tough to conquer those difficulties really inspired me to be brave. When I was tired and want to give up, Florence Nightingale came out and show me that now matter how harsh the way is we are obliged to persist our dream.

Thirdly, history always acts as a fabulous teacher for us to follow. No one could deny the fact that we can learn a lot from the past.. People can draw on the experience of the generations before, taking a similar path to success while avoid a dead-end. We may cite simple examples of the two celebrities from the Second World War known as Winston Churchill and Adolf Hitler. From the history if the former giant we know that the key to success is the spirit of leadership while from the villain, we may know that the evil can never compete with the justice and peace.
In a word, equipped with understanding of history, we are able to gain experience, be added with courage and learn from the past, which is definitely helpful for us to handle with problems we now face.


thanks~~~

polaris_jieUID：2836796

The past would never be a liar and the history always tells the truth. When people are arguing on method which are helpful for us to solve problems we facing now, the function of past is at the center of this topic. A fair portion of people bolster the perspective that history only tells story about the past, which has nothing to do with current affairs. In contrast to them are people who hold the viewpoint that having a better understanding on history is of great essence on solving present problems. Taken complete consideration on it, I prefer to select the latter group as my prior answer on this argument.
Firstly, majority of issues happened in the past have a lot of common with problems we facing. In accordance with principles of noted philosophers, everything in the world is directly or indirectly related. When the theory is applied to the relationship between current problems and history, it can be easily deduced that we can learn lots of experience from problems which is similar to current ones, which is surely inspire us to think about more solutions to compare. (感觉比较怪。When it comes to the relationship between the current issues and the past, we can definitely draw the deduction that the history will certainly give us some guidance, which is surely inspire us to think about more solutions to compare. )

Secondly, understanding of history can also bestow us the courage to deal with difficulties. When I was bothered by how to encourage myself to go out of the shadow of failure, stories of Beethoven who are so tough to conquer those difficulties really inspired me to be brave. When I was tired and wanted to give up, Florence Nightingale came out and showed me that no matter how harsh the way is we are obliged to persist our dream.

Thirdly, history always acts as a fabulous teacher for us to follow. No one could deny the fact that we can learn a lot from the past. People can draw on the experience of the generations before, taking a similar path to success while avoid a dead-end. We may cite simple examples of the two celebrities from the Second World War known as Winston Churchill and Adolf Hitler. From the history if the former giant we know that the key to success is the spirit of leadership while from the villain, we may know that the evil can never compete with the justice and peace.
In a word, equipped with understanding of history, we are able to gain experience, courage and knowledge, which is definitely helpful for us to handle with problems we are facing now.

用word的修改改的，发现粘上来就没有效果了，你看下吧，就中间一句大改了下，其他多是个人觉得的语法问题。加油加油

peggy890UID：2812709

21# polaris_jie
O(∩_∩)O谢谢
很多次跟你分到一组啦~~
想咨询你个问题，我总是感觉自己的逻辑有点不是很清晰，论证也不是很specific
可以分享一下你是怎么做的吗？谢谢啦

peggy890UID：2812709

7月6日
Stepping into an entirely new era, the relationship between human activities and the earth we necessarily depend on is becoming our major concern. Admittedly, arguing for the theory that it is more important to reserve land for human beings than for endangered animals are those who buttress the opinion that human beings is not the catalyst led to the endangerment of those animals. Nevertheless, personally speaking, one phenomenon that the environment is getting worse which deduce severe consequences is obvious, mirroring just the undeniable responsibility to take care of those miserable endangered animals that we human beings are obliged to bear.
First and foremost, endangered animals play an irreplaceable role in the biological system. Based on those theory of biology class, what draws our attention is the golden principle that everything in the eco-system are connected with each other, namely they forged a relatively steady food chain. Each circle is so important that may destroy the whole system once it extinct. From analysis above, since we human beings are also involved in the eco-system as a circle of food chain, the lack of certain animals will directly or indirectly affect the survival of us. How terrible it would be if we are abandoned by the nature and could not find food to maintain life!
Secondly, we have an undeniable responsibility to reserve those endangered animals. The Earth we necessarily depend on witnessed those severe damage caused by selfish human beings. When we are congest with fevers to skyrocket our Gross Domestic Product, what we neglect is the originally beautiful and cosy habitats for those animals to survive. With the disappearance of rainforest, the shrink of clear river and the pollution on other natural resources, we have already owed a lot to those animals and pushed them into an endangered situation. Now, it is time for us to reserve them and bear our responsibility to pay back what we owed to them, which is totally different from our formal selfishness.
Meanwhile, endangered animals also have the right to share the planet with us. As the Holly Bible says, everyone is created equal. Once we change roles with those endangered animals and think from their perspective, we can easily deduce the theory that they are equal with us to survive rather than extinct. If their right is neglect, is there any difference between we human beings and those cold-blooded Nazis?
To sum up, it is too selfish to hold the opinion that it is more important to reserve land for human beings than for endangered animals. Those land reserved are welcomed to be transferred into the reservation zones for endangered animals to get rid of that negative situation, when their biological importance, our responsibility and living right are taken into full consideration.


thanks~~

whhckUID：2604077

:loveliness:1.后果
2.人类职责
3.动物角度
逻辑不错，对于观点的展开的确是很有心得！
对于被动语态，单复数等袭击问题还望加强。
受教了~

KeeeeenWUID：2592937

修改请见附件

peggy890UID：2812709

7.8 by peggy
Students would receive a better, effective education if they were required to attend classes for 11 months of a year.3


The occurrence of economy tsunami started from the bankruptcy of Lehmans Brothers update the competition in the job market all over the world. In order to meet more strict needs from those employees, most of us would like to pay much more attention to education we received. Beneath such a circumstance, some people hold the opinion that students should receive a better education if they were required to attend for 11-months-semester, which buttress values that the more time spend at class, the higher quality of education it would be. Moreover, when those hidden factors are carefully taken into consideration, they may find that actually it is little bit ridiculous to agree with them. That is, personally speaking, I am not in favor of their opinion.
First and foremost, time is not a reliable element to maintain the quality of education. Take myself as a example. When I was preparing my final examinations, the library was just like my ‘second dormitory’, namely I spent nearly 10 hours on reviewing. However, I was not concentrated on my major courses, instead, I always thought about where I would like to travel with my parents during the summer vacation. The consequence that I did not get a ideal scores is as I expected. Such a unpleasant memory gave a lesson to me that the more time you spent do not mean better results.
Secondly, individuals need to take a break so that they can keep energetic. Just those mechanic theories exhibited in books, if you want to make use of your machines operates\ well, sufficient time is needed for them to have a break. It also works on individuals. Without sufficient time to take a rest, it is impossible for anyone to keep on working efficiently. Once they are lack of rest, neither their efficiency nor enthusiasm on study will be wore out.
From another perspective, education is a word with broad contents, which include not only classes given by school. We also nurtured by those education provided out of classes, such as communication with their friends or families. Once those time are occupied by attending classes, there will be no time left for them to study other things from vivid life, which is of relatively high possibility to cause a lack of essential skills for those kids to enjoy a colorful, joyful and meaningful life. Lonely, cold-blooded and selfish persons will be the products of this kind of education.
To sum up, when those factors anglicized above are taken into consideration, one can easily deduce the conclusion that it is a unwise choice to force students to attend 11-month-class. Instead, schools are welcomed to offer proper time arrangement to maintain a better, effective and high-profile education for our next generation.

谢谢大家了~~加油↖(^ω^)↗

jjooyyUID：2704028

The occurrence of economy tsunami started from the bankruptcy of Lehmans Brothers update the competition in the job market all over the world. In order to meet more strict needs from those employers(employees), most of us would like to pay much more attention to education we received. Beneath such a circumstance, some people hold the opinion that students should receive a better education if they were required to attend for 11-months-semester, which buttress values that the more time spend at class, the higher quality of education it would be. Moreover(是转折吧), when those hidden factors are carefully taken into consideration, they may find that actually it is little bit ridiculous to agree with them. That is, personally speaking, I am not in favor of their opinion.$ W5 m# N: U, f) {  ?

First and foremost, time is not a reliable element to maintain the quality of education. Take myself as a example. When I was preparing my final examinations, the library was just like my ‘second dormitory’, namely I spent nearly 10 hours on reviewing. However, I was not concentrated on my major courses, instead, I always thought about where I would like to travel with my parents during the summer vacation. The consequence that I did not get a ideal scores is as I expected. Such a unpleasant memory gave a lesson to me that the more time you spent do not mean better results.（总觉得有点怪！）

Secondly, individuals need to take a break so that they can keep energetic. Just as those mechanic theories exhibited in books, if you want to make use of your machines operates\ well(make use of &operate, delete one!), sufficient time is needed for them to have a break. It also works on individuals. Without sufficient time to take a rest, it is impossible for anyone to keep on working efficiently. Once they are lack of rest, neither their efficiency nor enthusiasm on study will be wore out.(wonderful!)

From another perspective, education is a word with broad contents, which include not only classes given by school. We are also nurtured by those education provided out of classes, such as communication with our(their) friends or families. Once those time are occupied by attending classes, there will be no time left for them to study other things from vivid(？) life, which is of relatively high possibility to cause a lack of essential skills for those kids to enjoy a colorful, joyful and meaningful life. Lonely, cold-blooded and selfish persons will be the products of this kind of education.

To sum up, when those factors anglicized（英国化？） above are taken into consideration, one can easily deduce the conclusion that it is a unwise choice to force students to attend 11-month-class. Instead, schools are welcomed to offer proper time arrangement to maintain a better, effective and high-profile education for our next generation.

恩 lz注意句式杂糅，a&an的区别，还有，有拿到word里面 语法检查吗？我没看你的word版。。
第一次返回托福作文，还没调整过来，有问题可以讨论哦～
语法错误 建议修改 精彩

peggy890UID：2812709

7月10日
Many teachers assign homework to students every day. Do you think that daily homework is necessary for students? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

Since the first day we stepped into school, homework becomes the absolute key word of our student life. It is never a rare phenomenon that teachers assign homework to study every day. In contrast to it is that some people claim that daily homework is nonsense which may bring numerous negative impacts such as overloaded pressure to our next generation. However, personally speaking, I bolster that daily homework is necessary rather than meaningless, when analysis are taken one step further than those who are against it.
First and foremost, daily homework offer a clear path for us to apply what we learn into practice. As the old saying goes, practice makes perfect. It is daily homework that provides a opportunity for you to make use of what you learned in class. It is daily homework that assists you to check where the leak is in your knowledge system. It is daily homework that guides you the direction to improve yourself. Without it, we are just like walking in the totally darkness. Not to mention, acquiring knowledge more perfect through practice.
Secondly, homework also acts as a tool which may assist you to develop a habit to keep studying. The world we live in contains so many things we need to learn. Meanwhile, studying should be considered as a lifelong issue. Through those endless but meaningful daily homework, studying every day will become a habit even a irreplaceable part of your life. Several years later, those knowledge accumulated via daily study will surely show you a colossal surprise.
On the other hand, homework is a efficient method for teachers to testify their teaching. There is no doubt that daily homework is the most direct, real and reliable reflection of students’ learning. Teachers may find out which point he or she did not make clear for students in class and improve teaching skills in the future. Also, updating their storage of teaching material on time via those reflection, which will surely skyrocket the interest of students’ learning.
To sum up, although it may have some negative sides for students to accomplish those daily homework, students can also benefit more from it. After those analysis exhibited above, we can easily deduce the opinion that daily homework is essential rather than meaningless for students.

懒人一枚UID：2838780

很好，很多地方可以学习. 可惜我对着电脑发了半天呆，也不知道写什么。。。
顺便问下，同组另个是哪个啊？为毛我找不到他那篇作文？

peggy890UID：2812709

29# 懒人一枚
同组另一个是jjooyy,他有发链接的
倒是你的，我没有找到，方便的话，可以发给链接过来吗
我给你补评一下~