【Flyer杀G】小组-6.24作业 I 130, by Sean

柏拉图的世界UID: 2581296

130. "How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."
分类：教育

Children are who are to take charge of the society, and how well they would be socialized would largely impacts on the destiny of our world. But it won’t determine where the world will go as the speaker states. Influencing factors other than children’s socialization, or even other than children’s ability would collectively steer the ship of whole society. Besides, the assertion that our education system fail to cultivate children capable to create a better world is unduly pessimistic, for it has ignored existing and progressing endeavors for that goal.

No one would live in state of totally isolation, thus to learn to get along with others and cooperate with others is critical for survival. We human beings are pretty tiny and fragile up against the complex and even horrible world. Our ancestors gained their living by hands and minds, and more by cooperation. From families to communities, and then to villages, towns and nations, they came together sharing obligation and benefits. By the power of human wills bonded, thorns are eliminated, rocks are moved, roads are paved and homes are built. History of human beings can be considered as a progress to make more and more people connected, which is more conspicuous in present world. Tasks we are in face of are increasingly giant and complicated, such as the management of transnational corporation, human genome project, and especially environmental ticklers like insufficiency of power resources, global warming and pollutions. Solutions to these problems intensively call for skills to interact, to negotiate with people looking for mutually clashing interests. Thus, to cultivate students from minor age, with skills and minds as a social member in systematic and stepwise manners play a big role, in order to ensure both their personal fulfillment and the prosperity of our society.

Howbeit, we’d better not place excessive emphasis on socialization of children, and consequently discard respect to character intensively needed to be taught to children more than this. Many virtues are also keepers of human’s thrive and harmony. Honesty, for example, is the footing stone for a grandeur building of community. Suppose a condition that people are all telling lies for their private benefits, and milk is adulterated, houses are jerry-built, account books are cooked. How can we expect facial flourishing would go long without any almost ineluctable catastrophe that children are sick, houses crash, and companies bankrupt? As I see it, when people are involved and playing well tricks in the society immanently fraught with evils, they often throw such virtue far behind them.

Furthermore, children are not the mere consistent of society, adults are actually taking charge in contemporary life. Adults are producing things we share, creating ideas revolute our living condition, and these will definitely continually act on future shape of our world. They are also deciding how to educate children, whose are to be in charge. At this point, adults just seem the more potent sponsor where the society is going.

When it comes to the assessment how well or how poorly our education system functions to bring children to sound preparation for their coming responsibility to ensure human’s more well-being, a dependable gauge loses its way. Should we praise a school where children are taught to get well with any other, discarding any kind of collision at the price of forgoing individual or collective pursuit? Or should we praise a team in which teacher direct children to success of the whole team or every individual irrespective of tense interpersonal relation? Maybe the former one only sends Mr. or Ms. Nice to the society, and the latter one breed up cold-blooded utilitarianism. Both are not so good, but how can we wield an ideal balance of them? Let alone ways to examine personal or collective personal relations and achievements themselves are as well intricate. Although hardly can we determine the situation of children’s education, there are efforts aiming to make this better, at least as far as I know. For instance, some scholars and educators are advocating the importance of children’s holistic concept, in view of the traditional courses majorly impart analytical concept and the pressing issues, such as economic and environmental crisis in globe, calling for generalist with interdisciplinary and intercultural ideas.

In conclusion, children’s socialization and, to be boarder, children’s vital virtue and characters deserve our adequate endeavor to be put into education for them. People and materials have already being devoted. But bearing mind that it is adults who may be more potent in directing the world, biased emphasis on children would fail to create a better world.

candygegeUID: 2792059

Children are who are to take charge of the society(是不是可以简单点？Children take charge of the society), and how well they would be socialized would largely impacts on the destiny of our world. But it won’t determine where the world will go as the speaker states. Influencing factors other than children’s socialization, or even other than children’s ability would collectively steer the ship of whole society. Besides, the assertion that our education system fail to cultivate children capable to create a better world is unduly pessimistic, for it has ignored existing and progressing endeavors for that goal.（明确了讨论的方向：1、过分强调了儿童社会化的作用；2、对教育现状过分悲观）

No one would live in state of totally isolation, thus to learn to get along with others and cooperate with others is critical for survival. We human beings are pretty tiny and fragile up against the complex and even horrible world. Our ancestors gained their living by hands and minds, and more by cooperation. From families to communities, and then to villages, towns and nations, they came together sharing obligation and benefits. By the power of human wills bonded, thorns are eliminated, rocks are moved, roads are paved and homes are built. History of human beings can be considered as a progress to make more and more people connected, which is more conspicuous in present world. Tasks we are in face of are increasingly giant and complicated, such as the management of transnational corporation, human genome project, and especially environmental ticklers like insufficiency of power resources, global warming and pollutions. Solutions to these problems intensively call for skills to interact, to negotiate with people looking for mutually clashing interests. Thus, to cultivate students from minor age, with skills and minds as a social member in systematic and stepwise manners play a big role, in order to ensure both their personal fulfillment and the prosperity of our society.（重点从沟通的角度介绍了社会化的重要性）

Howbeit(howbeit 似乎是一种比较古代的用法，搜索了一下，好像圣经里用的比较多，现代的比较少些。改用nevertheless如何？), we’d better not place excessive emphasis on socialization of children, and consequently discard respect to character intensively needed to be taught to children more than this. Many virtues are also keepers of human’s thrive and harmony. Honesty, for example, is the footing stone for a grandeur building of community（我感觉这个句子有点别扭）. Suppose a condition that people are all telling lies for their private benefits, and milk is adulterated, houses are jerry-built, account books are cooked. How can we expect facial flourishing would go long without any almost ineluctable catastrophe that children are sick, houses crash, and companies bankrupt? As I see it, when people are involved and playing well tricks in the society immanently fraught with evils, they often throw such virtue far behind them.（但不需要过度强调社会化的重要性，举了一个例子，诚实）

Furthermore, children are not the mere consistent of society, adults are actually taking charge in contemporary life. Adults are producing things we share, creating ideas revolute our living condition, and these will definitely continually act on future shape of our world. They are also deciding how to educate children, whose are to be in charge. At this point, adults just seem the more potent sponsor where the society is going.（提到成人的作用）

When it comes to the assessment how well or how poorly our education system functions to bring children to sound preparation for their coming responsibility to ensure human’s more well-being, a dependable gauge loses its way. Should we praise a school where children are taught to get well with any other, discarding any kind of collision at the price of forgoing individual or collective pursuit? Or should we praise a team in which teacher direct children to success of the whole team or every individual irrespective of tense interpersonal relation? Maybe the former one only sends Mr. or Ms. Nice（Guy） to the society, and the latter one breed up cold-blooded utilitarianism. Both are not so good, but how can we wield an ideal balance of them? Let alone ways to examine personal or collective personal relations and achievements themselves are as well intricate. Although hardly can we determine the situation of children’s education, there are efforts aiming to make this better, at least as far as I know. For instance, some scholars and educators are advocating the importance of children’s holistic concept, in view of the traditional courses majorly impart analytical concept and the pressing issues, such as economic and environmental crisis in globe, calling for generalist with interdisciplinary and intercultural ideas.(哪种教育模式更好)

In conclusion, children’s socialization and, to be boarder（broader）, children’s vital virtue and characters deserve our adequate endeavor to be put into education for them. People and materials have already being devoted. But bearing mind that it is adults who may be more potent in directing the world, biased emphasis on children would fail to create a better world.



整体感觉：
文章整体结构比较清晰，在一开头就明确了观点。但在讨论到第二部分的时候，感觉有点偏离。集体主义和个人主义似乎和社会化的问题相关不大。另外，最后一段所下的结论只是特别强调了成人对现行社会的影响，给人的感觉是和全文结合不是特别紧密，没有充分体现整个文章的观点。


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个人观点，改的不好~还请见谅哈~

柏拉图的世界UID: 2581296

2# candygege 嗯，多谢拍文。我也觉得自己总是把话扯得有点绕，而且恐怕对于老美来说，我写的这些东西不是那么顺畅好理解。反思ing...