issue105

songyxUID: 118533

The true strength of a country is best demonstrated by the willingness of its government to tolerate challenges from its own citizens.

Recently there is a debate over whether the true strength of a country can be best demonstrated by the willingness to tolerate challenges from its own citizens. While the issue might be complex and controversial due to the rapid social and technological change leading to increasing complexity of national affairs and international relationship, further reflection based on a step -by-step analysis would lead credence to the assertion that the true strength of a country is best demonstrated by the willingness of its government to tolerate challenges from its own citizens.

The first argument presented to develop my position is that the accessibility for the public to challenge the government is part and parcel to advance the process of democracy. For one hand, as we all know, democracy means people have the right to vest the power of the government directly or indirectly. So without the right for its public to challenge the government, hardly can the goal of democracy be achieved. In addition, the achievement of democracy is not easy to an extent that it might need efforts of several generations, and there are little experiences which can be relied on due to the fact that different country has different conditions and backgrounds. So feedback of various kinds is greatly needed for the government to correct its policies. Challenging the government for the public is a good one, and in this sense the government should tolerate and encourage it.

And, the degree of democracy has relations with the country’s development. The fact that the more democracy the more developed the country might be could contribute a lot to understand the above point. A case in point is Iraq, a poor country while with abundance of natural oil. There is no democracy in Iraq due to the autocracy of Sadam, who mercilessly suppressed the public whose opinion not coincident with his or wanting challenging his power. So the obvious result is: contrary to the splendid life Sadam enjoyed, the life of people in Iraq live is poor, and Iraq is becoming more and more poverty as time goes by. The reason is that people having power to make decisions are not always right, and this can be compensated by letting the public have the opportunity to challenge the government. By doing so, some useful ideas might emerge, which could greatly benefit the development of the country.

However, great resolution and courage are needed for the government to do so-tolerating the challenges from its citizens, because by our nature we are not willing to be challenged by others. Obviously, in this sense, the true strength of a country is demonstrated when the government has the willingness to tolerate the challenges coming from its own citizens. And the more toleration, the more democracy, and the more strengthen the country might be.

On the other hand, when there might be challenges with ulterior motives coming from some people, and when the challenges might be detriment to the survival of the country, the government should also demonstrate another kind of strength, that is suppressing the challenges, instead tolerating them.

Through the above step-by-step analysis, an evident conclusion could be drawn: the true strength of a country is best demonstrated by the willingness of its government to tolerate challenges from its own citizens. And by doing so, the country could be greatly strengthened not only on the aspect of democracy, but also on other aspects, such as the power of economy. Let’s do it now!

SMMUID: 106624

The true strength of a country is best demonstrated by the willingness of its government to tolerate challenges from its own citizens.

Recently there is a debate over whether the true strength of a country can be best demonstrated by the willingness to tolerate challenges from its own citizens. While the issue might be complex and controversial due to the rapid social and technological change leading to increasing complexity of national affairs and international relationship, further reflection based on a step -by-step analysis would lead credence to the assertion that the true strength of a country is best demonstrated by the willingness of its government to tolerate challenges from its own citizens.
[Please paraphrase the two sentences in your beginning paragraph. You use the same words two times. What’s more, your words are most copied from the topic statement provided by ETS. It seems difficult to obtain a high score this way, I think.]  

The first argument presented to develop my position is that the accessibility for the public to challenge the government is part and parcel to advance the process of democracy. For one hand, as we all know, democracy means people have the right to vest the power of the government directly or indirectly.
{ to vest the power of the government } [] Is this expression right? Or what you want to say in this sentence and have you said it clearly?]
So without the right for its public to challenge the government, hardly can the goal of democracy be achieved. In addition, the achievement of democracy is not easy to an extent that it might need efforts of several generations, and there are little experiences which can be relied on due to the fact that different country has different conditions and backgrounds. So feedback of various kinds is greatly needed for the government to correct its policies. Challenging the government for the public is a good one, and in this sense the government should tolerate and encourage it.

[In the firs supporting paragraph, you want to say that to accomplish democracy it is necessary to tolerate public challenge. It seems reasonable. But you may re-read and re-write it to make this more convincing]
And, the degree of democracy has relations with the country’s development.
[You may make this short sentence more powerful by adding several words. For example, the degree of democracy has strong/direct relations with the contrary’s development, thus the strength of the country.]
The fact that the more democracy the more developed the country might be could contribute a lot to understand [prove] the above point. A case in point is Iraq, a poor country while with abundance of natural oil. There is no democracy in Iraq due to the autocracy of Sadam, who mercilessly suppressed the public whose opinion not coincident with his or wanting challenging his power. So the obvious result is: contrary to the splendid life Sadam enjoyed, the life of people in Iraq live is poor, and Iraq is becoming more and more poverty [Is this word right?] as time goes by. The reason is that people having power to make decisions are not always right, and this can be compensated by letting the public have the opportunity to challenge the government. By doing so, some useful ideas might emerge, which could greatly benefit the development of the country.

However, great resolution and courage are needed for the government to do so-tolerating the challenges from its citizens, because by our nature we are not willing to be challenged by others. Obviously, in this sense, the true strength of a country is demonstrated when the government has the willingness to tolerate the challenges coming from its own citizens. And the more toleration, the more democracy, and the more strengthen the country might be.

On the other hand, when there might be challenges with ulterior motives coming from some people, and when the challenges might be detriment to the survival of the country, the government should also demonstrate another kind of strength, that is suppressing the challenges, instead tolerating them.
[What you mean in this paragraph? Do you disagree with the first two supporting paragraph?]

Through the above step-by-step analysis, an evident conclusion could be drawn: the true strength of a country is best demonstrated by the willingness of its government to tolerate challenges from its own citizens. And by doing so, the country could be greatly strengthened not only on the aspect of democracy, but also on other aspects, such as the power of economy. Let’s do it now!
{the true strength of a country is best demonstrated by the willingness of its government to tolerate challenges from its own citizens. }[You may also change your words into a different expression.]
[Your supporting paragraphs are well developed. But it seems to me that the supporting details are not strong enough to make ETS give you a score higher than, say, 5. Please re-read and amend some errors. You will find more when you read once again.]

[Only for your reference. Think yourself]