1010G欢迎拍文小组arg 203

raysun77UID: 2688235

argument203
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The following appeared in a newspaper feature story.
"At the small, nonprofit hospital in the town of Saluda, the average length of a patient's stay is two days; at the large, for-profit hospital in the nearby city of Megaville, the average patient stay is six days. Also, the cure rate among patients in the Saluda hospital is about twice that of the Megaville hospital. The Saluda hospital has more employees per patient than the hospital in Megaville, and there are few complaints about service at the local hospital. Such data indicate that treatment in smaller, nonprofit hospitals is more economical and of better quality than treatment in larger, for-profit hospitals."
时间比较紧张，直接上提纲了哈，莫怪莫怪


1.the fact of the the average length of a patient's stay in S is shorter than in M should be deliberated evaluated .there is possibility that the patient going to to S is little than M and the beds of the S is not enough so as to accept all the patients .the arguer possibly ignore the other factors influence the length of the stay
2.there is a unfounded assumption that the high cure rate absolutely mean the high quality of the cure .the real fact may be the hospital of S may be just capable to deal with the minor and slight illness ,on the other contary ,the hospital of M as a big profit hospital would equipped with the advanced equipment and have the high-level doctors ,where the major of diseases could be cured and certainly some disease difficult to cure would affect the cure rate .
3.the fact that the S hospital has more employees per patient than the hospital in Megaville is not mean that the care and the cure of the S is better than the M. as a small hospital ,it is probably that the amount of the patients refer to the S hospital is small and rare ,which leads to the conditon of above .and it is reasonable that the M hospital have advanced equipments and perfect management ,so there is no necessarity to accomodate too many employees and the good service and the capacity of cure could be remained .
4.there is not sufficent evidence supporting the conculsion of the arguer that s hospitals is more economical than the M hospital .the agrument lack the special explanation of the matters affect the the cost of the running of hospital or the cost of the patients .

clarence8UID: 2813388

1.the fact of the the（多了一个） average length of a patient's stay in S is shorter than in M should be deliberated evaluated（本人水平有限能否解释下这个搭配的结构呀） .there is possibility that the patient going to to（重复） S is little（less） than M and the beds of the S is not enough so as to accept all the patients .the arguer possibly ignore the other factors influence the length of the stay
2.there is a unfounded assumption that the high cure rate absolutely mean（means） the high quality of the cure .the real fact may be the hospital of S may be （有两may be， 第一个应该改成that就行了吧，前后是对同位语）just capable to deal with the minor and slight illness ,on the other contary（contrary） ,the hospital of M as a big profit hospital would （少了be）equipped with the advanced equipment and have the high-level doctors ,where the major of（可以去掉of） diseases could be cured and certainly some disease difficult to cure would affect the cure rate .
3.the fact that the S hospital has more employees per patient than the hospital in Megaville is（does） not mean that the care and the cure of the S is better than the M. as a small hospital ,it is probably that the amount of the patients refer（referred） to the S hospital is small and rare ,which leads to the conditon（condition） of above .and it is reasonable that the M hospital have（has） advanced equipments and perfect management ,so there is no necessarity（necessary应该没有这种名词形式吧） to accomodate too many employees and the good service and the capacity of cure could be remained .
4.there is not sufficent（sufficient） evidence supporting the conculsion（conclusion） of the arguer that s hospitals is more economical than the M hospital .the agrument（argument） lack the special explanation of the matters affect the the（重复） cost of the running of hospital or the cost of the patients .
1. 好多拼写错误错误是借助word检查出来的，上传时能不能先大体修改一下
2. 存在几次主谓不一致的地方
3. 当然这只是些小错误，这也只是提纲而已。
4. 总体文章条理清晰，要点分析得透彻，我要好好学习借鉴，每次我看的时候看着看着就思路乱了，请教下怎么缕清思路