求拍， 求互拍 argument 49

牛黄解毒丸UID: 2777046

49.Thefollowing appeared in a letter to the editor of a newsletter onhealth issues.

"Forthe past decade, most health experts have advised teenagers to avoideating greasy foods in order to prevent acne 痤疮andrelated skin conditions, but the number of teenagers who soughtmedical help for these skin problems has actually risen over the sameperiod. In a recent study, teenagers who avoided greasy foods for amonth reported approximately as many outbreaks of acne and relatedskin conditions as did those who ate an average of two servings ofgreasy food per day. Such data indicate
thateating greasy foods is unlikely to be a cause of acne and relatedskin conditions. Therefore, health experts should no longer recommendthat people avoid such foods."



Underthe assumption that every teenagers will take the suggestion fromtheir health experts of avoid having greasy foods,  holding theevidence that the number of teenagers having skin problems increasedover the same period as the experts asserted their advice, and  onerecent study which indicated by the author that it is equallypossible that teenagers will suffer the skin problems no matter theytake the greasy foods or not, the author draws the conclusion thatthe greasy foods is not the reason of acne and related skinconditions, and further suggests that health experts do not need torecommend people to avoid such foods.  Carefully examination thesupporting assumptions and evidence, however, reveals that it tendlittle credible support to the author.


Firstly,the author granted that everyone will follow the recommendation ofhealth expert to avoid eating greasy foods, but the number ofteenagers seeking for skin problems still rise  over  the past tenyears. However, the author oversees that there is equally possiblethat the people do not willing to change their own habit of choosingfood, even if the health expert's recommendation is sound. Forexample, some teenagers used to take some greasy food like friedchicken wings and legs once a while rather than absolutely avoidthem.  In addition, The author present the fact that the number ofteenagers suffered skin problem increased over past ten years, butthis argument do not contain any evidence that the teenagers whosuffered the skin problems do not take any greasy food over past tenyears. The teenagers,perhaps, still take some greasy food to satiatetheir savour.  Without proving that every teenagers will follow therecommendations and evidence of teenagers whether take greasy food ornot, it is hard to persuade us that there is nothing between greasyfood and acne and related skin problems.  


Secondly,based on the recent study, the outbreaks of acne and skin problemshold a tie possibility  in one month no matter they avoid the greasyfood or not. Hence according to the data the author indicate thatthere is no relation between eating greasy food and suffering skinproblems. However, the author roughly got his indication only by aone month experiment about the relationship between taking greasyfood and  having skin problems, which can not convince us, becausethe author never mentioned that one month was enough to understandwhether taking greasy food will cause the acne and related skinproblems or not. Moreover, it is entirely possible that to fullyunderstand whether the greasy food is the main reason for theteenagers skin problems, it takes at least, one years or more.Lacking the information about the how long it will be sufficient forus to thoroughly understand the relationship between taking greasyfood and having skin problems, we can not be convinced based on thisrecent study.

Finally,even though I conceded that taking greasy foods by teenagers do notresult in the acne and related skin problems,  the author still cannot roughly prohibit the health experts to suggest people to avoidsuch food containing lots of fat. Since the greasy food will induceother problems to  people, such as hypertension and heart diseasewhich threaten our health or even our lives. We still need to paylots of attention on those serious health problems and take theadvice from health experts. Therefore, the author can not deny therole of health experts to our health.

Insum, the conclusion reached in the arguments is invalid andmisleading. To make it logically acceptable, the author should provide the information about teenagers whether they take the adviceof the health expert or not, and also providing us that one monthstudy of relationship between taking greasy foods and having skinproblems is scientifically sufficient. Moreover, If there is norelation between greasy foods and having skin problems, the authorcould only reasonable suggest the health experts do not offersuggestion of absolutely avoiding greasy food to the teenagersinstead of widely suggest the people ignoring the advice from healthexperts.

tyarelUID: 2756223

49.Thefollowing appeared in a letter to the editor of a newsletter on health issues.
"For the past decade, most health experts have advised teenagers to avoid eating greasy foods in order to prevent acne 痤疮and related skin conditions, but the number of teenagers who sought medical help for these skin problems has actually risen over the same period. In a recent study, teenagers who avoided greasy foods for month reported approximately as many outbreaks of acne and related skin conditions as did those who ate an average of two servings of greasy food per day. Such data indicate
that eating greasy foods is unlikely to be a cause of acne and related skin conditions. Therefore, health experts should no longer recommend that people avoid such foods."
Under the assumption that every teenagers will take the suggestion from their health experts of avoid(avoiding) having greasy foods,  holding the evidence that the number of teenagers having skin problems increased over the same period as the experts asserted their advice, and  one recent study which indicated by the author that it is equally possible that teenagers will suffer the skin problems no matter they take the greasy foods or not, the author draws the conclusion that the greasy foods is not the reason of acne and related skin conditions, and further suggests that health experts do not need to recommend people to avoid such foods.  Carefully examination(examing) the supporting assumptions and evidence, however, reveals that it tend(不太明白这个的用法，LZ确定可以这么用？) little credible support to the author.
Firstly, the author granted(assume比较好吧？) that everyone will follow the recommendation of health expert to avoid eating greasy foods, but the number of teenagers seeking for skin problems still rise  over  the past ten years. However, the author oversees that there is equally possible that the people do not willing to change their own habit of choosing food, even if the health expert's recommendation is sound. For example, some teenagers used to take some greasy food like fried chicken wings and legs once a while rather than absolutely avoid them. (这里我个人觉得，之前已经讲清楚了，这个for example比较多余了) In addition, The author presents the fact that the number of teenagers suffered skin problem increased over past ten years, but this argument does not contain any evidence that the teenagers who suffered the skin problems do not take any greasy food over past ten years. The teenagers, perhaps, still take some greasy food to satiate their savour(拼写问题，不知道什么单词).  Without proving that every teenagers(teenager) will follow there(their?) commendations and evidence of teenagers whether take greasy food or not, it is hard to persuade us that there is nothing between greasy food and acne and related skin problems.  
Secondly, based on the recent study, the outbreaks of acne and skin problems hold a tie possibility  in one month no matter they avoid the greasy food or not. Hence according to the data the author indicates that there is no relation between eating greasy food and suffering skin problems. However, the author roughly got(gets) his indication only by aone(one?) month experiment about the relationship between taking greasy food and  having skin problems, which cannot convince us, because the author never mentioned that one month was enough to understand whether taking greasy food will cause the acne and related skin problems or not. Moreover, it is entirely possible that to fully understand whether the greasy food is the main reason for the teenagers skin problems, it takes at least, one years(year) or more.
Lacking the information about the how long it will be sufficient forus(for us?) to thoroughly understand the relationship between taking greasy food and having skin problems, we cannot be convinced based on this recent study.
Finally, even though I conceded that taking greasy foods by teenagers do not result in the acne and related skin problems, the author still cannot roughly prohibit the health experts to suggest people to avoid such food containing lots of fat. Since the greasy food will induce other problems to  people, such as hypertension and heart disease which threaten our health or even our lives. We still need to pay lots of attention on those serious health problems and take the advice from health experts. Therefore, the author cannot deny the role of health experts to our health. (不妥，作者没有否认HE的作用吧，只是建议不要再给“avoid greasy food”的advice了)
In sum, the conclusion reached in the arguments is invalid and misleading. To make it logically acceptable, the author should provide the information about teenagers whether they take the advice of the health expert or not, and also providing us that one month study of relationship between taking greasy foods and having skin problems is scientifically sufficient. Moreover, If there is no relation between greasy foods and having skin problems, the author could only reasonable suggest the health experts do not offer suggestion of absolutely avoiding greasy food to the teenagers instead of widely suggest the people ignoring the advice from health experts.


读完全文给lz几个建议，一家之言，希望是有用的
1.
看得出lz肯定是在没有语法修正的软件环境下完成习作的，不过还是建议lz，写完之后把全文拉倒word里看一下，语法错误还有格式错误(特别是2个单词之间漏空格的现象非常普遍，lz可以拉原文回去看一下)，这个虽然不是评分要求，可毕竟太多的话会影响阅读，印象也不好
2.
个人感觉,lz在重复原文上面笔墨太多了，首段可以选择写得精简一些，原文论据简要提及就可以了，毕竟每一段分析的时候你还会再说一遍，多遍重复没有什么意义，毕竟反驳的内容是关键，首段看上去也比较臃肿
3.
对于第一个论据的问题抓得比较清楚，但是反驳不怎么有力，或者说，前前后后绕着“青少年没有按建议执行来”，反复重复了好几遍。其实在第一个论据上感觉有很多东西可以反驳他的推断，比如“可能avoid确定降低了得病率，但是别的因素又使之上升了”“比如，青少年的总数增加了，那么相对的，发病的比率下降了？”或者“虽然发病的数量上升，但是病重程度降低了”？这些可能出现的情况都是可以反驳arg的第一论据的
4.
反驳的最后一段以及结尾对于原文抓的不太准确，作者最后只是认为health expert不需要再建议people避免食用greasy food，但是他并没有否认健康专家的作用，更没有说要人们忽略专家的建议。这里犯了大错，对原文的论点都出现了理解偏差。这个地方作者偷换了概念，之前一直在讲teenager，最后却是recommend that people avoid such foods,这里是可以进行反驳的，另外，即使确实greasy food和acne无关，它们也可能造成别的健康问题，这也是可以用来反驳的一点。

一点个人观点，希望对lz有用，另外，麻烦lz帮忙回拍啊
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=1118859&extra=
谢谢了，一起加油

牛黄解毒丸UID: 2777046

感谢，得确 问题多多