argument237

yaniiUID: 2807225

TOPIC: ARGUMENT237 - The following appeared as part of an article in a local Beauville newspaper.

"According to a government report, last year the city of Dillton reduced its corporate tax rate by 15 percent; at the same time, it began offering relocation grants and favorable rates on city utilities to any company that would relocate to Dillton. Within 18 months, two manufacturing companies moved to Dillton, where they employ a total of 300 people. Therefore, the fastest way for Beauville to stimulate economic development and hence reduce unemployment is to provide tax incentives and other financial inducements that encourage private companies to relocate here."
WORDS: 411
TIME: 01:00:00
DATE: 2010-7-8 11:29:04

The enthusiastic author recommends a fastest way for Beauville (Be) to stimulate economy and reduce unemployment. His supporting evidences, the data during the past 18 months, an analogy between Dillton (Di) and Be, and a assertive assumption, is susceptible to query, rendering the conclusion based on them stands scant closer examination.

To begin with, is the Di model a real success? Merely the data collected within 18 months doesn't necessarily indicate an increase after the relocating private companies. Maybe there are other factors in Di rather than the new policies that appeal to them, say available raw materials, potential market shares for them, convenient transportation to other markets, the particularly cheap labor and so forth. As to the 300 employees in the two companies, are they jobless local residents or immigrants along with the companies, or native skill workers that leap from the other local plants? If it is in the last two events, the relocation of companies contributes little to reducing local unemployment.

Even if the new measures function well in Di, it is likely not the case in Be. What a company emphasizes when choose location is not only some new policies trying to allure them, but also other in-depth factors, such as the development space for it, the number of potential consumers, the cost of local labor, the prosperity of local market and the completeness of its infrastruction. All those should be given equal priority. In other words, Be may not be the first choose regardless its attractive tax incentives and other financial inducements.

Finally, the author assumes that there is not other way to boost economy other than attracting private companies to Be. For example, aimed at developing local companies, expanding their market shares and therefore recruit more employees, may works equally well, if not better. In addition, if Be is a beautiful city, or be famous for its unique culture, why not enhance the relevant infrastruction to allure more tourists, who may bring about piles of money?

Though well-intentioned, the author provides insufficient evidences to support his specious recommendation and cannot convince even me. To appeal to the masses, he should collect more statistics showing that a number of private companies managers will prefer Be if it adopt positive economic polices towards the relocation of companies. Additionally, he can survey the local tourist market and its appeal to non-residents, to conclude whether this can be a green way to stimulate local economy.

草木也知愁UID: 2487572

让自己的作文被改主要有以下几种途径：

1、参与/组建互助小组；

2、主动出击，到别人的习作中改别人的文章，然后留下连接请求回拍，绝大部分情况下版友都会很负责的回拍的；

3、版主会开习作修改铺，满足要求之后版主就会修改你的习作；

4、同主题写作时会规定参与的版友按照一定的回贴顺序进行互改；

5、参加零散版友作文互改
ISSUE https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1118991-1-1.html
ARGUMENT https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1118994-1-1.html

6、坐等别人来拍，由于习作量很大，这种概率很小，所以效率也很低，建议不要采用。

yaniiUID: 2807225

谢谢斑竹的提醒:)

clarence8UID: 2813388

argument237

TOPIC: ARGUMENT237 - The following appeared as part of an article in a local Beauville newspaper.

"According to a government report, last year the city of Dillton reduced its corporate tax rate by 15 percent; at the same time, it began offering relocation grants and favorable rates on city utilities to any company that would relocate to Dillton. Within 18 months, two manufacturing companies moved to Dillton, where they employ a total of 300 people. Therefore, the fastest way for Beauville to stimulate economic development and hence reduce unemployment is to provide tax incentives and other financial inducements that encourage private companies to relocate here."
WORDS: 411
TIME: 01:00:00
DATE: 2010-7-8 11:29:04

The enthusiastic author recommends a fastest way for Beauville (Be) to stimulate economy and reduce unemployment. His supporting evidences, the data during the past 18 months, an analogy between Dillton (Di) and Be, and a assertive assumption, is susceptible to query, rendering the conclusion based on them stands scant closer examination.

To begin with, is the Di model a real success? Merely the data collected within 18 months doesn't necessarily indicate an increase after the relocating private companies. Maybe there are other factors in Di rather than the new policies that appeal to them, say available raw materials, potential market shares for them, convenient transportation to other markets, the particularly cheap labor and so forth. As to the 300 employees in the two companies, are they jobless local residents or immigrants along with the companies, or native skill workers that leap from the other local plants? If it is in the last two events, the relocation of companies contributes little to reducing local unemployment.

Even if the new measures function well in Di, it is likely not the case in Be. What a company emphasizes when choose location is not only some new policies trying to allure them, but also other in-depth factors, such as the development space for it, the number of potential consumers, the cost of local labor, the prosperity of local market and the completeness of its infrastruction. All those should be given equal priority. In other words, Be may not be the first choose regardless its attractive tax incentives and other financial inducements.

Finally, the author assumes that there is not other way to boost economy other than attracting private companies to Be. For example（这里刚开始读的时候感觉举例举得有些突兀，看到后面才明白，建议换用otherwise试一下怎么样，可以避免初读误解）, aimed at developing local companies, expanding their market shares and therefore recruit more employees, may works equally well, if not better. In addition, if Be is a beautiful city, or be famous for its unique culture, why not enhance the relevant infrastruction to allure more tourists, who may bring about piles of money?

Though well-intentioned, the author provides insufficient evidences to support his specious recommendation and cannot convince even me. To appeal to the masses, he should collect more statistics showing that a number of private companies managers will prefer Be if it adopt positive economic polices（policies） towards the relocation of companies. Additionally, he can survey the local tourist market and its appeal to non-residents, to conclude whether this can be a green way to stimulate local economy.
全文读下来感觉特别舒服，用词用句作者都很谨慎，很是钦佩！只有倒二段看的时候稍停顿了些。

yaniiUID: 2807225

谢谢4#的修改，我会注意的:)