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[i习作temp] ISSUE103 [复制链接]

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发表于 2010-7-13 19:42:25 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
TOPIC: ISSUE103 - "The study of history has value only to the extent that it is relevant to our daily lives."
WORDS: 380
TIME: 00:45:00
DATE: 2010/7/13 19:33:09


First, I do not deeply agree with this topic. Because it limit the value of studying history.
To begin with, what's the meaning of value? Differ from other factors, value can be described as wisdom came from history. I remembered that a famous female writer said that if you want to understand today, you have to research yesterday, yes, her name is Pearl Buck. Yesterday is our history, something happened in yesterday and we learned from it so we got the experience- a kind
of wisdom, which can be used to every aspect of our life. For example, we learned that harmony can bring us many advantages by past experience such as world war caused by someone with hegemonism. As a song sings: Love more, peace more. That is to say, harmony can reduce the conflicts and love improved harmony which all can be concluded by history.
And that is why we should study of history- the study of history can let us become clever.

Besides, when it is relevant to our daily lives, the study of history will bring some value of finance. In archaeology, for instance, nowadays asking the geol of a student, many of them will say that they want to earn more money, and with the development of archaeology, archaeological activities become more and more popular. Pulling out some real value about our nation or bringing some benefits to our historical research, some grave interests drive some people to do it. Considering that a human without historical knowledge can not distinguish real value from less value, so to some extent, this is the value of studying history-which can create a big mount of wealth. And in other word, history relevant to our daily lives seems to bring a direct economical value.
In addition, studying history can let us learn more about our ancestors, and moreover, know more about ourselves. The deed of our ancestors influenced their time and the value of that period, we study it and absorbed the merits, revised the dross which can affect on our time, even reflect our time. Admittedly, history study depends on studier themselves, their vision, their knowledge and their experience. So studying history need practice.
In sum, the study of history has a great value in our daily life.
evolve with time
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沙发
发表于 2010-7-14 16:55:30 |只看该作者
1# 短发mm
1.
First, I do not deeply agree with this topic. Because it limit the value of studying history.
为什么要把第一段加上个first 难道你first 不同意,second 部分同意,third 。。。。。吗?这里会出现论点的吗?)

To begin with, what's the meaning of value? Differ from other factors, value can be described as wisdom came from history. I remembered that a famous female writer said that if you want to understand today, you have to research yesterday, yes, her name is Pearl Buck. Yesterday is our history, something happened in yesterday and we learned from it so we got the experience- a kind
of wisdom, which can be used to every aspect of our life. For example, we learned that harmony can bring us many advantages by past experience such as world war caused by someone with hegemonism. As a song sings: Love more, peace more. That is to say, harmony can reduce the conflicts and love improved harmony which all can be concluded by history.
And that is why we should study of history- the study of history can let us become clever.
Besides, when it is relevant to our daily lives, the study of history will bring some value of finance. In archaeology, for instance, nowadays asking the geol of a student, many of them will say that they want to earn more money, and with the development of archaeology, archaeological activities become more and more popular
(这句话里换主语了). Pulling out some real value about our nation or bringing some benefits to our historical research, some grave interests drive some people to do it. Considering that a human without historical knowledge can not distinguish real value from less value, so to some extent, this is the value of studying history-which can create a big mount of wealth. And in other word, history relevant to our daily lives seems to bring a direct economical value.(就一句话?应该再扩展一下的吧?)(这一段是想说一下when it is relevant to our daily lives的吧?但是我没怎么看到有关daily life的论述,感觉跟上一段差不多)
In addition, studying history can let us learn more about our ancestors, and moreover, know more about ourselves. The deed of our ancestors influenced their time and the value of that period, we study it and absorbed the merits, revised the dross which can affect on our time, even reflect our time. Admittedly, history study depends on studier themselves, their vision, their knowledge and their experience. So studying history need practice.
In sum, the study of history has a great value in our daily life.



建议:
1把字体放大,这样看起来不舒服。
2.
论点比较少,只有两段,而且你的重点放在value上,但是如果这篇issue的论点在value上,那daily life 是干嘛的,打酱油的吗?

3.
In addition
in sum 可以合成一段

4.
感觉你的开头段和结尾段太短

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板凳
发表于 2010-7-17 00:42:15 |只看该作者
2# raysun77
我时间来不及才写2个分论点的阿,开头和结尾都因为时间来不及尽量有头有尾了,这个问题很大啊.这个观点是条件句,关键词是value,如果强调daily life 就偏题了好不好,daily life只不过是个判断条件,我判断下来,不只daily life有value,其他时候也有value,daily life作为一个分论点丰富文章的,我觉得你提出这个建议我不敢苟同,侧重点有点偏.
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