issue35

treesUID: 82785

这是修改了一次后的：

写的好烂烂的，第1次，用了快2个小时，中间吃了顿饭：（538WORDS，还请各位XDJM帮忙，谢谢啦！鞠躬鞠躬鞠躬~
02.10新增11. "No matter what the situation, it is more harmful to compromise one's beliefs than to adhere to them."

People were innocent when they came to the complex world, and following the generally growing up, everybody has his own belief from his family, the environment of him, the word in the book or other influence and he was told to insist it, the real guide and aim to his life as the lighthouse to the ship in the sea. However, is it more harmful to yield the belief than to stick out it? The answer might be no. It is true that there are innumerable situations in our society that humans had to submit to beneficial opinions from others.

The chief reason why we should emphasize compromise is that people as a part of society will face lots of complicated social problems that cannot be simply solved apart from cooperative group efforts. When we live in a country or go to a new place, to find out and fit in with the habits, especially the belief in local place, is the most significant thing we should do if we hope to have a peace life here and communicate with inhabitants successfully. Take a person whose regional belief is Catholicism migrating to Egypt as an example, it is widely recognized that citizens believe Islam in Arabian country and after the person settles in Egypt he reduces to approaching to the habits of Arabians instead of preaching his own belief. That the faith which is against the public's would be generally merged into the local one even be subverted is favorable to keep the mass of benefits.

What is more, all believes are connecting with others, and yet we should distinguish the different points among them in that numerous of theories which are sturdily held by many people are not correct even be the heterodoxy. Such as it happened freedom of sex in the seventy years of twenty century and the violence stands in the mind of some young men at the time. As we all know, sometimes it is difficult to tell the distinction of the truth and the fault at the beginning of a new object and we always said that there is only one step between them. Consequently, the best way to solve it is to compromise the uncertain theory to what most of people have done.

As the coin has the two sides, we have to acknowledge that one should insist on one's own belief other than in the special situations. The history told us that the most may be not correct, and sometimes the less seize the truth. One of the most famous examples is that Newton's theories are almost solved faultless now except the attitude that God makes the First Impetus being published when he was old. Because he had his belief heavily influenced by religion, the truth leaves him in ease.

Belief, as a light in the dark, leads to the direction of our life. People would adapt to it in the most of time but it does not mean compromise has no benefit in the any situations. It is more important to believe the truth and ensure yourself against heresy instead of comparing the harm of compromise with that of persistence.

SMMUID: 106624

怎么不见高手出手啊？有很多考5分以上的朋友都不见动静。哎，真不好意思。最受不了别人求什么，尽管不是求俺。

No.1 我的第1篇ISSUE烂文章，请XDJM大刀阔斧~谢谢！鞠躬中
02.10新增11. "No matter what the situation, it is more harmful to compromise one's beliefs than to adhere to them."

People were pure when they came to the complex world, and following the generally growing up, everybody became have his own belief from his family, the environment of him, the word in the book or other methods and he was told to insist it due to only in this way, would it be the real guide and aim to his life as the lighthouse to the ship in the sea. However, is it more harmful to compromise the belief than to stick out it? The answer might be no. That there are innumerable situations in our society and humans had to adapt to the difference is true.

[If I were the ETS scorer, I would be confused by your first sentence. What do  you mean by "People were pure when they came to the complex world," What "pure" means?  Is this sentence helpful for your topic statement? ]

[Are there some errors in your last sentence?  what is 主语? wchich is 谓语？You may check yourself since it is better for you to find out such erros  yourself. ]


The chief reason why we should stress compromise is that, as a part of society, people will face pressing societal problems that simply cannot be solved apart from cooperative group efforts. When we live in a country or go to a new place, to find out and then fit in with the habits, especially the belief in local place, is the most significant thing we should do if we hope to have a peace life here and communicate with inhabitants successfully. Take a person whose region belief is Catholicism migrating to Egypt as an example, it widely recognize that citizens believe Islam in Arabian country and after the person settle in Egypt he reduces to be familiar with the habits of Arabians rather than preach his own belief. The faith might not be changed, all the time it is generally merged into the local one.

[Pay more attention to paragraph development. Sentence by sentence, please write down what you want to say and make sure that you have said it clearly]

What is more, all believes are connecting with others, and yet we should distinguish the different point among them in that numerous of theory which are sturdily believed by a heap of persons are not correct even be the heterodoxy. Such as it happened freedom of sex in the seventy years of twenty century and the violence stands in the mind of some young men at the time. That it is difficult to tell the distinction of the truth and the fault at the beginning of a new object as we always said that there is only one step between them is obvious. Consequently, the best way to solve it is to compromise the uncertain theory to what most of people have done.

As the coin has the two sides, we had to [have to?] acknowledge that one should insist on one's own belief other than [is this right?] in the special situations. The most may be not the correct, and sometimes the less seize the truth. One of the most famous examples is that Newton's theories are almost solved faultless now except the attitude that God makes the First Impetus being published when he was old. Because he changed his belief into religion, the truth leaves him in ease.


Belief, as a light in the dark, leads to the direction of our life. People would adapt to it in the most of time but it does not mean compromise has more harmful in the any situations. It is more important to believe the truth and ensure yourself against heresy instead of comparing the harm of compromise with that of persistence.

[Your English is Chiglish. Please take the reader's feeling into your consideration when you want to say something in English. Can the reader  understand me clearly?]

[I'm sorry I have to leave. You may re-read it and you  will find out many erroes that may be neglected in your first draft]

treesUID: 82785

谢谢SMM，修改中：）非常非常感谢~

treesUID: 82785

对了。我觉得一个很大的问题是找不到什么例子，都是平时不好好学习知识的恶果：（，能帮我举一两个跟这个题目有关的么？：）谢谢

SMMUID: 106624

politics: Gandhi from India, Dr. Martin Luther King

science: 哥白尼

angeikimUID: 4857

最初由 trees 发布
[B]这是修改了一次后的：

People were innocent when they came to the complex world, and following the generally growing up, everybody has his own belief from his family, the environment of him, the word in the book or other influence and he was told to insist it, the real guide and aim to his life as the lighthouse to the ship in the sea. However, is it more harmful to yield the belief than to stick out it? The answer might be no. It is true that there are innumerable situations in our society that humans had to submit to beneficial opinions from others.

第一段时态转换有问题。最后一句话相关吗？beneficial opions from others 和one's belief...
但是总体感觉有GENERAL STATEMENT这个头起的还是可以的，如果再好好修改修改的话 [/COLOR]

The chief reason why we should emphasize compromise这个单词的词性？ [/COLOR]is that people as a part of society will 用一般时要更好[/COLOR]face lots of complicated social problems that cannot be simply solved apart from cooperative group efforts. When we live in a country or go to a new place, to find out and fit in with the habits, especially the belief in local place, is the most significant thing we should do if we hope to have a peace life here and communicate with inhabitants successfully. Take a person whose regional belief is Catholicism migrating to Egypt as an example, it is widely recognized that citizens believe Islam in Arabian country and after the person settles in Egypt he reduces to approaching to the habits of Arabians instead of preaching his own belief. That the faith which is against the public's would be generally merged into the local one even be subverted is favorable to keep the mass of benefits.

你这段话和题目的关系？联系性在哪里我看不出来。。觉得不是很切题哦，骑驴的小孩:D 我只点两个语法的问题，其他的你自己找找呢。

What is more, all believes are connecting with others, and yet we should  ISSUE作文中最好不要出现这类倒退的时态表示委婉，会降低说服力度。[/COLOR]distinguish the different points among them in that numerous of theories which are sturdily held by many people are not correct even be the heterodoxy. Such as it happened freedom of sex in the seventy years of twenty century and the violence stands in the mind of some young men at the time. As we all know, sometimes it is difficult to tell the distinction of the truth and the fault at the beginning of a new object and we always said that there is only one step between them. Consequently, the best way to solve it is to compromise the uncertain theory to what most of people have done.

As the coin has the two sides, we have to acknowledge that one should insist on one's own belief other than in the special situations. The history told us that the most may be not correct, and sometimes the less seize the truth. One of the most famous examples is that Newton's theories are almost solved faultless now except the attitude that God makes the First Impetus being published when he was old. Because he had his belief heavily influenced by religion, the truth leaves him in ease.

Belief, as a light in the dark, leads to the direction of our life. People would adapt to it in the most of time but it does not mean compromise has no benefit in the any situations. It is more important to believe the truth and ensure yourself against heresy instead of comparing the harm of compromise with that of persistence.


[/B]

后面剩下的部分我没有仔细看，总体感觉语言还好，但是思维，思路不是很清晰。要好好的打提纲并且分析题目再开始写。

treesUID: 82785

谢谢老师，问个问题。向大家都提到的是不是第1段一定要从第1句就明确表示文章的态度，不可以先铺垫1句，我知道先铺垫像中文文章，可是直接就表态还是不太习惯。

angeikimUID: 4857

一般来说是对文章的TOPIC，就是中心来个一般陈述然后再出来自己的观点。

应该不拘泥于什么什么形式:D 喜欢就好，但是不能太绕，要适可而止。

tomatoeggsUID: 82073

最初由 trees 发布
[B]谢谢老师，问个问题。向大家都提到的是不是第1段一定要从第1句就明确表示文章的态度，不可以先铺垫1句，我知道先铺垫像中文文章，可是直接就表态还是不太习惯。 [/B]

我劝你还是习惯了下开门见山，因为老美确实喜欢直接。

angeikimUID: 4857

但是开门见山也要个引子来的。不能硬邦邦的扔自己的观点。要直接并且有技巧的自然的提出来。