Issue88，写作遇瓶颈，思路越写越呆板，求修改，求指点。

shadow1987UID: 2605840

I88. "Technologies not only influence but actually determine social customs and ethics."

思路：
第一段，摆观点，认为技术确实影响了我们的习惯和道德，但是它不可能决定后者，因为我们是有主观能用性的。
第二段，做让步，承认技术影响力很大，正反面各举一个例子，全都用mass media说，反面说青少年犯罪，正面说监督政府。
第三段，分两个层次，先说customs不一定就能由技术来决定，举了两个例子，人们在城市种菜和富人把别墅安置在郊外。
第四段，第二个层次说ethics，举曼哈顿计划，说尽管目的都是研制原子弹，但是轴心国是邪恶的，同盟国是正义的，说明是我们自己决定技术的用途。
第五段，Conclusion。

I agree insofar that technologies can influence our social customs and ethics, nevertheless, I find speaker's claim that technologies actually determine social customs and ethics falls short on its persuasiveness. As far as I see it, science and technology, with respect to our social changes, should be taken as the external causes. According to materialistic dialectics, which I believe is a reliable theory, the internal causes are changes' primary causes and external causes are those changes' conditions. Hence, it is unilateral to assert that external causes can determine social customs and ethics.

At the first place, I must concede the inconceivable influence of technologies. Our science and technology are on the march all the time and link to our daily lives closely. They exert a subtle influence on the thought of our children, our friends and ourselves. Think about modern mass media, which surrounds us everywhere, every second. The contents of violence, drugs and sex that come from computer games, TV programs and internet indeed affect our children a lot; and mass media have already become a main inducement of adolescent crimes. On the other hand, technologies can also benefits our society when mass media plays the role of supervisor of government, for instance, by the year of 2002, Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome (SARS) was ravaging in China. Unfortunately, Chinese Health Ministry placed less value on this event and lied to the public about the severity of SARS. At this time, some reporters revealed this fact via internet and let related officials took the blame and resigned. In this way, technologies can perfect our social customs and ethics. Consequently, there is no doubt that technologies influence us a lot.

However, it is still presumptuous to assert that technologies actually determine our social ethics cause this statement falls to consider the subjective initiative of human beings. Actually, it is our subjective initiative determines social customs and ethics. To illustrate my view, I will adduce examples from two aspects. The fist aspect is our custom, in spite of where we live, human beings still yearn for original ecology. There is a social trend which emergences in modern cities of China that people who live in apartments or high buildings prefer to plant vegetables by themselves. Knowing that markets have all kinds of vegetables they need, these people still stick on their custom and believe that only their own vegetables are purely organic, no pesticide and natural. Likewise, take a look at the rich in the United States of America, most of they placed their villas around countryside, lakefront or even in forests. The reason is that they would like to be surrounded by nature but not high-tech monsters; and they believe technologies bring us convenience and take away health. That is why I believe technologies cannot determine our social customs.

The other aspect is about ethics, I believe technologies are all double-edged swords; and it is our inner ethics determine that which side of those technologies will be showed to us. Take Manhattan project as an example, at the last few years of the World War Two, axis and allies both weighed atom bomb as the essential weapon for the victory of the war. Germany and Japan researched this technology aim to dominate the world and enslave other people, while America invented atom bomb to prevent them. To be more specific, it is our social ethics and values determine the various purposes of technologies but not in the opposite way.

In conclusion, even confessing that technologies influence our social customs and ethics a lot, I find the speaker's claim is presumptuous, because he fails to consider the human beings' internal initiative. Our changes of customs and ethics are determined by ourselves but not the technologies.

rooneysuperbUID: 2683582

这不写的挺好么

figuechenUID: 2850619

I agree insofar that technologies can influence our social customs and ethics, nevertheless, I find speaker's claim that technologies actually determine social customs and ethics falls short on its persuasiveness. As far as I see it, science and technology, with respect to our social changes, should be taken as the external causes. According to materialistic dialectics, which I believe is a reliable theory, the internal causes are changes' primary causes and external causes are those changes' conditions. Hence, it is unilateral to assert that external causes can determine social customs and ethics.
At the first place, I must concede the inconceivable influence of technologies. Our science and technology are on the march all the time and link to our daily lives closely. They exert a subtle influence on the thought of our children, our friends and ourselves. Think about modern mass media, which surrounds us everywhere, every second. The contents of violence, drugs and sex that come from computer games, TV programs and internet indeed affect our children a lot; and mass media have already become a main inducement of adolescent crimes. On the other hand, technologies can also benefits [benefit] our society when mass media plays the role of supervisor of government, for instance, by the year of 2002, Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome (SARS) was ravaging in China. Unfortunately, Chinese Health Ministry placed less value on this event and lied to the public about the severity of SARS. At this time, some reporters revealed this fact via internet and let related officials took [take] the blame and resigned. In this way, technologies can perfect our social customs and ethics. Consequently, there is no doubt that technologies influence us a lot.
However, it is still presumptuous to assert that technologies actually determine our social ethics cause this statement falls to consider the subjective initiative of human beings. Actually, it is our subjective initiative determines social customs and ethics. To illustrate my view, I will adduce examples from two aspects. The fist aspect is our custom, in spite of where we live, human beings still yearn for original ecology. There is a social trend which emergences in modern cities of China that people who live in apartments or high buildings prefer to plant vegetables by themselves. Knowing that markets have all kinds of vegetables they need, these people still stick on their custom and believe that only their own vegetables are purely organic, no pesticide and natural. Likewise, take a look at the rich in the United States of America, most of they placed their villas around countryside, lakefront or even in forests. The reason is that they would like to be surrounded by nature but not high-tech monsters; and they believe technologies bring us convenience and take away health. That is why I believe technologies cannot determine our social customs.
[第一个种菜的例子有点不太好吧，不太有说服力，建议加入统计数据或者survey结果什么的可能会更好。]
The other aspect is about ethics, I believe technologies are all double-edged swords; and it is our inner ethics determine that which side of those technologies will be showed to us. Take Manhattan project as an example, at the last few years of the World War Two, axis and allies both weighed atom bomb as the essential weapon for the victory of the war. Germany and Japan researched this technology aim to dominate the world and enslave other people, while America invented atom bomb to prevent them. To be more specific, it is our social ethics and values determine the various purposes of technologies but not in the opposite way.
In conclusion, even confessing that technologies influence our social customs and ethics a lot, I find the speaker's claim is presumptuous, because he fails to consider the human beings' internal initiative. Our changes of customs and ethics are determined by ourselves but not the technologies.

作者的思路非常清晰，提纲列得非常到位。在文章中的表达也很不错，把主要观点和内容都表达出来了，显得很有说服力。总的来说文章相当好，学习了。

最后挑几个刺。首先是那个种菜的例子好像缺乏证据，有点编出来的感觉。其次是ethics，用战争来举例子好不好？Einstein后来是反对投原子弹的，也后悔当初提议曼哈顿计划。战争中并无道德与否的观点，双方的动作都是为了取得战争的胜利。尽管可以说盟国占据了道德制高点，但他们向日本投原子弹就很不道德。


同题作文，恳请LZ互改，谢~：
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1123207-1-1.html

shadow1987UID: 2605840

谢谢修改，你的文章也已经改过了，一起加油！