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[i习作temp] 第一次写GRE作文,希望大家多多帮助提意见,谢谢!issue119 [复制链接]

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发表于 2010-7-17 19:34:17 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
Issue119:“When research priorities are being set for science, education, or any other area, the most important question to consider is: How many people's lives will be improved if the results are successful”
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It is noteworthy that in our society, large quantities of assets have been allocated to researches promising a quick result and application to help the human race. This, I believe, is in no small part due to the dominance of utilitarian ideas thriving in the government, industry, and all corners of the modern world. Although researches that bring about improvements on people’s lives are of great significance, it is equally, if not more important to conduct researches with no immediate application prospects but instead long-term effects on society as a whole.
I admit that researches yielding results contributing to the improvement of the human condition are necessary in that they directly increase the standard of living around the globe. Human history has witnesses many groundbreaking advancements that could be attributed to the development of new techniques and apparatus for growing food and producing other commodities. For example, the Second Industrial Revolution couldn’t have been possible without the invention of the electric generator, the telephone, and other innovative machines, all of which result from the kind of researches mentioned above. The success of these researches have significantly increased productivity and thus the living standards around the globe, and also helped shape the world as we know today.
However, without fundamental researches into the basic sciences and other arears of study, a large portion of these striking technological breakthroughs and innovations would not have occurred. If we still consider the aforementioned example, it is widely agreed that large amounts of inventions during the Second Industrial Revolution, especially those related to electricity, are results of the eletromagnetism theory founded and perfected by Oersted, Ampere, Faraday, and many other scientists in the field of fundamental physics, whose theoritical research could be deemed by comtemporaries as without immediate effects. Yet without their findings and creative work, the inventions that came afterwards would merely be mirages. Fundamental researches provide inventors with the basic scientific principles and ideas which are irreplacable in the process of innovation. One could hardly imagine Alexander Bell coming up with the idea of a “telephone” had he been unaware of the intriguing properties of electricity and magnetism.
Thus, logic dictates that priorities also be set on long-term researches with no apparent applications and thus no foreseeable improvements of lives of the public. This is the case with molecular biology, a discipline which is thought of as purely academic and “useless” to the improvement of human lives when it started in the 1930s. Now, we could assert with certainty that the discoveries of many aspects of the molecular mechanism of life have caused a Biological Revolution thought of by many observers as the main theme of the 21st century. The discovery of the DNA double helix structure, the deciphering of the genetic codes, and the unraveling of numerous biological phenomenon all contributed to our current comprehensive understanding of life and how we might better nurture it. It is only by investing in such long-term researches are we ever capable of obtaining new knowledge, transforming them into productivity, and ultimately accelerating the progress of human history.
In conclusion, when setting research priorities for science and all other fields, long-term researches must be emphasized to a much greater extent in that they are the true perpetual impetus behind the advancement of the human society.
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沙发
发表于 2010-7-17 20:50:33 |只看该作者
基本感觉还行,就是注意下错字。对于自己观点的表达方面不太直接, 最好用最直接的方式表达。文章给人的感觉是行文有些散,结构逻辑性不是很强。例如,你在举例子的时候反复提高第二次工业革命,但如果是重点的话在一点中提就行了,但你在第二段和第三段中都提了,让人觉得罗嗦。我建议你针对某些例子重点阐述,不要将论据堆砌。最后,结尾太过仓促。

本人水平有限,如有不当评价,请多包涵

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板凳
发表于 2010-7-17 21:45:22 |只看该作者
万分感谢!

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RE: 第一次写GRE作文,希望大家多多帮助提意见,谢谢!issue119 [修改]

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第一次写GRE作文,希望大家多多帮助提意见,谢谢!issue119
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1124190-1-1.html
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