欢迎拍作文 issue 88

crazyjooUID: 2805124

TOPIC: ISSUE88 - "Technologies not only influence but actually determine social customs and ethics."
WORDS: 525          TIME: 00:51:11        DATE: 2000-7-20 12:29:07


Do technologies not only influence but also determine social customs and ethics? The speaker claim so because of the tremendous impact of technologies.  I concede that technologies do influence social customs and ethics. However, they can hardly determine what the social customs and ethics should be. Conversely, social ethics can affect the development of technology itself.

Admittedly, it is undeniable that the impact of technology is so significant that many social custom have been revised and changed. Since social custom and ethics are derived from spiritual level as well as material level. Technological advancement, such as industrialization had created much more material value than human had produced ever before. Understandably, social custom and ethics have changed greatly according to the pace of technology development.  We tend to celebrate our friends' birthdays with electronic cards instead of paper ones. And people prefer email rather than letter as a means of communication.  Another example aptly illustrate this point involved the marriage of close relatives, which is rifle before the presence of genetics. At that time, people are likely to marry their children to relatives because they regard this custom as an approach to integrate them as a whole united. And the widely clannish conscious between different families also contribute a lot to this old social custom. As soon as people recognize the undesirable consequences brought by this social custom through the knowledge of genetics, they enacted law to prohibit it.

However, technologies can not be the judge of social customs and ethics, both of which have been rooted deeply in every indigenous culture and have far-reaching influence. American parents keep telling the story of teeth-fairy and Santa Clouse to their children even though they believe that these mythological characters do not exist. And Chinese people eat moon cakes to celebrate the Autumn Festival while they know that Apollo has not found such a beautiful fairy called "Chang E" living on the moon who is the main character in the romantic legend from which the Autumn Festival derived. Nevertheless, people tend to remain these social customs and ethics for their cultural influence and aesthetics; after all, technology can only understand the effectiveness and efficiency of one concrete thing, not to mention these vague notions of beauty.

On the other hand, social customs and ethics serve to be a supervisor of the development of technology. A technology would be forbidden by them whenever this new breakthrough deviates from the criterion of social ethics. Considering the most controversial sheep---Dolly, which bring countless argument and dispute in academic area and ethics level. Though people appreciate the merit of clone food, they remain clear mind toward clone people since clone people is absolutely unacceptable in the respect of social ethics. In this respect, social ethics cushion the immediate danger stem from technology, and finally prevent technology from moving in the opposite direction.

To sum up, technology has great impact on the social customs and ethics. However, it does not attain to a extend that can determine them. In fact, the relationship between them is interaction. Thus, to make them benefit each other rather than thwart is a crucial task remained for us.

starfirezhuUID: 2842465

TOPIC: ISSUE88 - "Technologies not only influence but actually determine social customs and ethics."
WORDS: 525          TIME: 00:51:11        DATE: 2000-7-20 12:29:07
【审题】： Technologies influence and determine social customs and ethics. 疑点出在 determine 这个词！这也就是你可以攻击的突破口。加上actaully这个词，更是反映出这个statement的武断倾向。

Do technologies not only influence but also actually determine social customs and ethics? The speaker claim so because of the tremendous impact of technologies on our daily lives. I concede that technologies do influence social customs and ethics. However, they can hardly determine what the social customs and ethics should be. Conversely, social ethics can affect the development of technology itself.
这个开头还不错！既然反击的目标锁定好了，在复述对方观点时，actually determine 这两个关键词就千万不要省略了，否则有偷换概念之虞。下面的论述就围绕“ technologies 只是 influence 而没有 determine “这个中心展开。

Admittedly, it is undeniable that the impact of technology is so significant that many social customs have been revised and changed. Since social customs and ethics are derived from spiritual level as well as material level.（这句话不完整，建议改成 Social customs and ethics are affected by social circumstances both spiritually and materially. 并且作为共识放到前面去。） Technological advancement, such as industrialization had created much more material value than human had produced ever before. Understandably, social customs and ethics have changed greatly according to the pace of technology development.  We tend to celebrate our friends' birthdays with electronic cards instead of paper ones. And people prefer email rather than letter as a means of communication.  Another example aptly illustrate this point involved the marriage of close relatives, which is rifle before the presence of genetics. At that time, people are likely to marry their children to relatives because they regard this custom as an approach to integrate them as a whole united union. And the widely clannish conscious (胡乱造的词吧？ conscious 的名词是 consciousness，但也不能用在这个意思哦！) between different families also contribute a lot to this old social custom. As soon as people recognize the undesirable consequences brought by this social custom through the knowledge of genetics, they enacted law legislations to prohibit it.
这段话要说的是：How social customs and ethics are influenced by technologies. 很遗憾，一直都是讲custom，不见讨论ethics。如果先写出提纲就不会出现这种遗漏了：
On the one hand, social customs are influenced by technologies. ...
On the other hand, social ethics are also influenced by technologies. ...

However, technologies can not be the judge of determine（保留这个词，以免偷换概念） social customs and ethics, becuase both of which them have been rooted deeply in every indigenous culture and have far-reaching influence beside technologies. American parents keep telling the story of teeth-fairy and Santa Clouse Clause to their children even though they believe that these mythological characters do not exist (Technologies 和这个custom有啥关系？). And Chinese people eat moon cakes to celebrate the Autumn Festival while they know that Apollo space shuttle has not found such a beautiful fairy lady called "Chang Er" living on the moon who is the main character in the romantic legend from which the Autumn Festival derived (这个例子还不错，但是叙述的方式不对。应该用Eventhough... 句式，说明技术并不一定改变social customs). Nevertheless, people tend to remain these social customs and ethics for their cultural influence and aesthetics; after all, technology can only understand the effectiveness and efficiency of one concrete thing, not to mention these vague notions of beauty.
这一段要写的是： Why technologies can't determine social customs and ethics? 比较稳妥的方法就是讲 customs and ethics 包括物质和精神两个层面，文化和信仰对于customs和ethics的影响由来已久，变化缓慢，而technologies只是涉及到物质层面而已，变化快速，因而不可能起到决定的作用！举例，customs举月饼与登月技术；ethics举“thanksgiving”和“honesty, mercy, forgiveness” 等等，说明从没有技术的早期人类到技术发达的现代，一直没有改变。

On the other hand, social customs and ethics serve to be a supervisor of the development of technology. A technology would be forbidden by them whenever provided this new breakthrough deviates from the criterion of social ethics. Considering the most controversial sheep---Dolly, which bring countless argument and dispute in academic area and ethics level(意思不错，但是句子不完整！). Though people appreciate the merit of clone food, they remain clear mind toward clone people since clone people is absolutely unacceptable in the respect of social ethics. In this respect, social ethics cushion the immediate danger stem from technology, and finally prevent technology from moving in the opposite direction.
这一段可以是点睛之笔：technologies 不仅仅不能决定 social customs and ethics，相反，它常常受到制约和限制。举例：clone，food里面的激素，添加剂；internet技术里面的不良信息；等等。如果时间允许，还可以写，有时social customs and ethics 甚至可以促进技术的发展。例如，credit card 就是基于 honesty 发展出来的技术。。。。。。有了这些论证，原论点的技术决定论就基本上全面攻破啦！

To sum up, technology has great impact on the social customs and ethics. However, it does not attain to a extend that can determine them. In fact, the relationship between them is interaction interactive. Thus, to make them benefit each other rather than thwart is a crucial task remained for us.
这一段很重要，可惜后两句没写好。可以改为： In fact, we needn't overstate the importance of techologies in respect of social customs and ethics; we should just take the positive side of technologies and let it benefit our life.

注意：尽量保持原论点的一致性，例如，原论点说的是technologies，你就不要说technology；原论点说的是customs，你就不要说custom! 原论点说的是 determine，你就不要说 judge。除非你有把握保证没有偏离偷换概念！

forkidUID: 2845790

欣赏过了，个人觉得，是一篇很不错的习作！
如果要提问题，可能是就是social customs and ethics 在每个展开段上的比重可以适当调整，但是考虑到时间因素，我觉得这不是大问题。学习了！

xyjprcUID: 2412778

crazyjoo的思路很好，starfirezhu 也改得灰常好呀~学习了~