issue51 【ForOneReason小组1】 2010.7.20 梦的溪夜

梦的溪夜UID: 2616129

When education is carefully designed to meet individual needs and interests, I think it is really high time that we cheer for the society and the human kind. Because the world will be filled with life and new thoughts and each of us would stop feeling lost and helpless.
    As an old saying goes, there is no stupid students but only unskillful teachers. If being carefully leaded, almost every student will feel motivated and proud of himself as a human being. They would be trusted as worthy individuals rather than zero because their needs and interests are respected. That means they will face a much less probability to risk themselves to do illegal things to let out their inside anger for the society, which they would not bear in that case at all. We all know some cases in our society like a gun attack in the campus. Some kill because they feel insulted by others, and some kill because they feel abandoned, both cases can be avoided if adequate instructions are given to the individuals when they really need mental and material help. Thus we can see propriate education help to make the individuals more tendency to contribute to the society rather than revenge and destroy it.
    More than doing no harm, if their interests properly treated, some students would have an amazing contribution out of these interests. An immediate case is the President of United States, Obama. He is born black, a race that never acess the highest authority of the US. But he never stops design his own education experience. Though he was a lawyer once and can get high salary very easy, he chose to work at low pay for the poor, which is definitely a plus for his campaign for the president. He use his own political life to show what a propriate education path can work for an individual. If we each own such an education so specificly designed for our own interests and ambitions, we would have no doubt to succeed.
    We can see from the above that education will be effective when it is individual-oriented. We can research further to see what happens when it is not. Take an extreme case for example. In the South Korea, the education is designed to meet the need of the authority. If you open a text book for pupils,  you may be met with a text which tells you how great their leader is. Under such cases, people become short sighted. Their football team in this World Cup plays very hard and make progress at first, because if they do not work hard they would be made miners after the game. But you can not achieve an aim just because you are desperate for it, and so is the football team. They got a fiasco after a few games and end their journey for the campion at a very early stage.
    In a word I think education should be
***************************************************************************************************
oriented to individuals so that students will have motivation in develping their own interests and showing their own talents.

AlmightyEricUID: 2855660

1# 梦的溪夜 When educationis carefully designed to meet individual needs and interests, I think it isreally high time that we cheer for the society and the human kind（一般说human being或mankind）. Because the world will be filled with life （“world will befilled with life”这个有待修改，有点无厘头）and new thoughts and each of us wouldstop feeling lost and helpless.
    As an old saying goes, there is no stupid students but onlyunskillful teachers. If being carefully leaded, almost every student will feelmotivated and proud of himself as a human being. They would be trusted asworthy individuals rather than zero because their needs and interests arerespected. That means they will face a much less probability to risk themselvesto do illegal things to let out their inside anger for the society, which theywould not bear in that case at all. We all know some cases in our society likea gun attack in the campus. Some kill （“Some kill”感觉不完整）because they feel insultedby others, and some kill because they feel abandoned, both cases can be avoidedif adequate instructions are given to the individuals when they really needmental and material help. Thus we can see propriate（appropriate） education help to makethe individuals more tendency to contribute to the society rather than revengeand destroy it.
    More than doing no harm(感觉不是很地道), if their interests（感觉少了are）properly treated, some students would havean amazing contribution out of these interests. An immediate case is thePresident of United States, Obama. He is born black, a race that never acess（access） the highest authority ofthe US. But he never stops design（designing）
his own education experience. Thoughhe was a lawyer once and can get high salary very easy, he chose to work at low pay for the poor（这句话有疑问？他竞选总统，并不是low pay job啊）, which is definitely aplus for his campaign for the president. He use(used) his own political life to show what a propriate（appropriate）
education path can work for anindividual. If we each own such an education so specificly(specifically) designed for our own interestsand ambitions, we would have no doubt to succeed. (这段的Obama的例子感觉很牵强，对主题难以形成有效支持)
    We can see from the above that education will be effective whenit is individual-oriented. We can research further to see what happens when itis not. Take an extreme case for example. In theSouth Korea,the education is designed to meet the need of the authority. If you open a textbook for pupils, you may be met with a text which tells you how greattheir leader is. （是不是朝鲜啊，那应该是 North Korea啊）Under such cases, peoplebecome short sighted. Their football team inthis World Cup plays very hard and makes progress at first, because if they donot work hard they would be made miners after the game. （对于用“传言”做例子，可信度不大）But you can not achieve anaim just because you are desperate for it, and so is the football team. Theygot a fiasco after a few games and end their journey for the campion （champion）at a very early stage.
    In a word I think education should be
总结：总体感觉，逻辑比较不清晰，论点不清晰明确，段与段之间脱节，毫无逻辑联系，第一段比较模糊地表达自己支持Speaker的论点，但是不明确。第二段说明，如果没有meet individual interest的严重后果，个人感觉有点“危言耸听”且没有例子支持。比较空洞，没有说服力
第三段从正面说明如果meet individual interest，个人就会成功，就会做出贡献。但举的Obama的例子完全不能说明论点。例如到底满足Obama的什么兴趣，结果怎样？第四段举的朝鲜例子，写成韩国，而且用本身就不可信的“传言”做例证更不可信，且与主题没有关系。

AlmightyEricUID: 2855660

1# 梦的溪夜 一家之言，可能有不对的地方，不要介意啊:)

梦的溪夜UID: 2616129

呵呵，非常感谢你的宝贵意见，我要重写之后多改改~~~ 3# AlmightyEric