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[i习作temp] Issue36 我的第一篇Issue第二遍改,耗时整整两天…恳请大家拍砖~谢谢 [复制链接]

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发表于 2010-7-23 17:59:29 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
本帖最后由 艾羽暄 于 2010-7-23 18:22 编辑

The first test of a truly man is what he does. And the greatness of individuals, which means the attainment of eminence or favor, needs to be recognized by others. In some cases, greatness can be identified by the contemporaries. In other areas, however, it may take a long time, sometimes even longer than one's lifetime, for greatness to be tested and confirmed.



There is no denying the fact that the greatness of some individuals is identified only by those who live after them. After all, it takes time for the touchstone of greatness to tell. In the realm of science, it is usually difficult and sometimes even impossible to identify greatness without the benefit of historical perspective. The reason for this is simple: theory must be tested in practice and reinforced by eloquent evidence, and the ultimate objective of science is to be accepted by ordinary people, which takes time to tell. A case in point is Alfred Wegener, a German scientist and geophysicist most notable for his theory of continental drift, was at first laughed at by his contemporaries for his "foolish" idea about floating continents. Though having mostly circumstantial evidence, Wegener was unable to demonstrate a mechanism for continental drift, which meant that his hypothesis was not accepted until the 1950s, when numerous discoveries provided mass evidence of continental drift; and his greatness was finally recognized 20 years after his death. This clearly illustrate the point that some discoveries and achievements made by individuals in science and other areas may not be well judged and understood by their contemporaries--perhaps only by those who come after them.



While the greatness of individuals can be evaluated objectively by people who live beyond their time and their society, these evaluations unfortunately lag behind the time and contribute almost nothing to the development of the society at that time, thus may be lack of significance to some extent.



In some cases, however, greatness can be recognizable in no time. When it comes to achievements closely related to daily life or have a significant influence on the society, the greatness of individuals, of which the judgment can be accomplished by the contemporaries, will be decided immediately. Marie Curie's contemporaries would never need a rear-view mirror to confirm her discovery of two new elements, polonium and radium, and her contributions to the field of radioactivity as well. And the two Nobel Prizes in physics and chemistry, which were awarded to Marie Curie, showed the complete recognition of her greatness by her contemporaries. Marie Curie's success fully demonstrates that the greatness of some individuals can be identified immediately, so long as there is almost nothing to be later tested or confirmed about the achievement, and it has a great influence on the development of the society.




In final analysis, while some great achievements of individuals, as with scientific discoveries, are to be testified and identified by later generations, there are other successful individuals whose attainments are widely recognized as great during their own time. What's more, it's the achievements of individuals, rather than the evaluations from others, that make the society to develop and flourish. And that is what greatness is all about.




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沙发
发表于 2010-7-23 20:38:22 |只看该作者
你的第一篇是我改的,现在第二篇也改吧。
第一段:第一句改为:the standard to judge the greatness of a man is his deeds and achievemnets.其他的很好,基本到位。观点表达很明确。

第二段:据我所知,大陆漂移说只是目前被认为最有说服力的理论,因此被广泛接受,目前学界对于大陆漂移还不是十分确定。这个例子的说服力不大。因为大陆漂移说只是一种假设的理论,并未真正被证实。

第三段:我觉得还是独立性不强,要么跟上段要么下段,有独立成段的话要用论据去充实。

第四段:例子还行,果然换了个nobel奖的, 居里夫人,不错

结尾段也还勉强。

你的第一个论据好像没有第一次用的那个好,第二个论据倒是改了。语言的表达还是有些问题,不太流畅,有些用词也不是很合适。
建议你还是先多看看范文吧。
总之,有改正就有进步,继续努力,再接再厉

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板凳
发表于 2010-7-23 21:59:16 |只看该作者
2# zhangjunzj
太谢谢啦~听君一席话,胜读十年书啊~一定继续努力~
还想请教一个问题,我现在提纲写得很慢,比一篇作文快不了多少,我现在应该着重写80个高频的提纲还是直接写作文呢?(作文目前为止只写了这一篇,提纲,详细的写了四五个,不详细的十几个)

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地板
发表于 2010-7-23 22:40:43 |只看该作者
你时间多吗?多的话,还是一些作文为主。
我觉得你写80个提纲不如好好写10篇作文。毕竟题库有2百多,即使你有本事全部提纲都写了,也不能保证你考试的时候就有优势,写的提纲你不一定都记得。
而去提纲和作文不一样。作文要考虑很多问题,如如何开头,结尾,如何句与句之间的过度等。
还是建议你写作文吧。时间多写看范文,精看20篇左右,然后开始模仿一些结构和句法。时间不够就重点看论证的过程和论据的组织。
希望对你有所帮助

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发表于 2010-7-24 08:54:14 |只看该作者
4# zhangjunzj
谢谢指导,我8月20号考,时间不多了,而且argu几乎还没开始看……看来要继续努力了
再次感谢~

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RE: Issue36 我的第一篇Issue第二遍改,耗时整整两天…恳请大家拍砖~谢谢 [修改]

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Issue36 我的第一篇Issue第二遍改,耗时整整两天…恳请大家拍砖~谢谢
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1127456-1-1.html
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