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永锁孤心UID: 2685404

ARGUMENT1 - The following appeared in a memorandum written by the vice president of Nature's Way, a chain of stores selling health food and other health-related products.
"Previous experience has shown that our stores are most profitable in areas where residents are highly concerned with leading healthy lives. We should therefore build our next new store in Plainsville, which has many such residents. Plainsville merchants report that sales of running shoes and exercise clothing are at all-time highs. The local health club, which nearly closed five years ago due to lack of business, has more members than ever, and the weight training and aerobics classes are always full. We can even anticipate a new generation of customers: Plainsville's schoolchildren are required to participate in a 'fitness for life' program, which emphasizes the benefits of regular exercise at an early age."




The vice president draws the conclusion that
the Nature's Way should build their new store in Plainsville based on the assumption that the stores ate most profitable in areas where residents are highly concerned with leading healthy lives. Besides, the vice president also claims that the Plainsville is the perfect place to build their next store. To substantiate the claim, the vice president provides the evidences that the sales of running shoes and exercise clothing are at all-time highs and that the local health club and the weight training and aerobics classes are more and more popular. Meanwhile, the local students' program---'fitness for life' can also contribute to a continual profit. However, there are some points that the vice president didn't consider.
First of all, the dubious assumption leading to the conclusion may lack enough and detailed evidence. The vice president arrive at a questionable conclusion
that the more important the healthy lives residents consider, the larger profit the Nature's Way will get. It is highly possible that other factors might contribute to the higher profit in certain areas where residents are highly concerned with leading healthy lives. For example, thanks to the successful advertising publicity program, the local store enjoys a higher popularity or the low tax rate that the government provides can also cut the cost. Besides, to evaluate whether the store can make a profit in a city, there are more important factors that should be considered such as the residents' consuming ability and the cost which is spent on the staff's salary and so on. Without ruling out those uncertain factors, it is presumptuous to suggest that the view to the healthy lives which the residents hold was responsible for a profitable store.
Secondly, granted the assumption (that) the vice president provides is reasonable, we may not conclude the Plainsville is the perfect place where the next new store of Nature's Way will be built. That the sales of running shoes and exercise clothing are at all-time highs may not equate to (the fact)the residents are interested in exercise. It may result more from the wearing custom than from people's exercise habit. What's more, The author's conclusion that they will make profits in Plainsville is based on the gratuitous assumption that people who are enthusiastic about exercising will necessarily be interest in buying health food and other health-related products. It simply concludes that people who are concerning about healthy lives will automatically became Nature's Way's customers. Even if many people in P are interest about health food and other health-related products, the author ignores other factors that may affect the business of Nature's Way, such as the population of the area, and the eating habits of the local residents. The presence of the similar products and other competitive company may lead to a serious competition situation which will reduce the profit in this business.
Last but not the least important, from a company's point, the most important ingredient we should consider seriously is whether we can get a continual profit in future. However, the situation that Plainsville's schoolchildren are required to participate in a 'fitness for life' program does not necessarily follow that we will have steady customers. After all, it is the considerable and continual profit that every corporate seek for.
In summary, this argument is not persuasive as it stands.
To strengthen the argument, the vice president would have to provide further evidence on the investment situation in Plainsville.

永锁孤心UID: 2685404

排错版了...重新发下
The vice president draws the conclusion that  the Nature's Way should build their new store in Plainsville based on the assumption that the stores ate most profitable in areas where residents are highly concerned with leading healthy lives. Besides, the vice president also claims that the Plainsville is the perfect place to build their next store. To substantiate the claim, the vice president provides the evidences that the sales of running shoes and exercise clothing are at all-time highs and that the local health club and the weight training and aerobics classes are more and more popular. Meanwhile, the local students' program---'fitness for life' can also contribute to a continual profit. However, there are some points that the vice president didn't consider.
First of all, the dubious assumption leading to the conclusion may lack enough and detailed evidence. The vice president arrive at a questionable conclusion  that the more important the healthy lives residents consider, the larger profit the Nature's Way will get. It is highly possible that other factors might contribute to the higher profit in certain areas where residents are highly concerned with leading healthy lives. For example, thanks to the successful advertising publicity program, the local store enjoys a higher popularity or the low tax rate that the government provides can also cut the cost. Besides, to evaluate whether the store can make a profit in a city, there are more important factors that should be considered such as the residents' consuming ability and the cost which is spent on the staff's salary and so on. Without ruling out those uncertain factors, it is presumptuous to suggest that the view to the healthy lives which the residents hold was responsible for a profitable store.
Secondly, granted the assumption (that) the vice president provides is reasonable, we may not conclude the Plainsville is the perfect place where the next new store of Nature's Way will be built. That the sales of running shoes and exercise clothing are at all-time highs may not equate to (the fact)the residents are interested in exercise. It may result more from the wearing custom than from people's exercise habit. What's more, The author's conclusion that they will make profits in Plainsville is based on the gratuitous assumption that people who are enthusiastic about exercising will necessarily be interest in buying health food and other health-related products. It simply concludes that people who are concerning about healthy lives will automatically became Nature's Way's customers. Even if many people in P are interest about health food and other health-related products, the author ignores other factors that may affect the business of Nature's Way, such as the population of the area, and the eating habits of the local residents. The presence of the similar products and other competitive company may lead to a serious competition situation which will reduce the profit in this business.
Last but not the least important, from a company's point, the most important ingredient we should consider seriously is whether we can get a continual profit in future. However, the situation that Plainsville's schoolchildren are required to participate in a 'fitness for life' program does not necessarily follow that we will have steady customers. After all, it is the considerable and continual profit that every corporate seek for.
In summary, this argument is not persuasive as it stands.  To strengthen the argument, the vice president would have to provide further evidence on the investment situation in Plainsville.

永锁孤心UID: 2685404

共576词

zhangjunzjUID: 2658970

第一段：这段太长了些，有些北美的意思。但是在考试的时候写这么多很费时间。
第二段：前两句话有些重复，其他的还可以，但是具体论正过程少了些。
第三段：最后的关于children漏洞的论证有些缺乏，论证过程太少了，毕竟这是一个重要漏洞。
第四段：有些虎头蛇尾了，和第一段相比相形见绌了，结尾还是要在细致些。

永锁孤心UID: 2685404

多谢指教   我会改正的~~ 4# zhangjunzj

chinese_idiotUID: 2854284

我观点基本和四楼一样
还有就是你套话太多 其实没有那些套话你的文章还是好文章 有了那些套话反而看得烦
比如我个人看别人argu的习惯 看到套话直接这句话跳过 这样你的文章我还看了三四分钟
考官就一到二分钟 你觉得呢？

chinese_idiotUID: 2854284

4# zhangjunzj

hi 这位朋友 有时间帮忙看下我的文章不 感觉你应该可以提出些建设性的意见
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1128832-1-1.html
thanks so much

zhangjunzjUID: 2658970

回楼上“中国白痴”，我一般不会拒绝别人的合理要求，就帮你看下吧

永锁孤心UID: 2685404

好的 我知道了  多谢指教 6# chinese_idiot