第一篇argument（#35），望提意见，谢谢

everest4everUID: 2856149

万分感谢！


TOPIC: ARGUMENT35 - The following appeared in the summary of a study on headaches suffered by the residents of Mentia.

"Salicylates are members of the same chemical family as aspirin, a medicine used to treat headaches. Although many foods are naturally rich in salicylates, for the past several decades food-processing companies have also been adding salicylates to foods as preservatives. This rise in the commercial use of salicylates has been found to correlate with a steady decline in the average number of headaches reported by participants in our twenty-year study. Recently, food-processing companies have found that salicylates can also be used as flavor additives for foods. With this new use for salicylates, we can expect a continued steady decline in the number of headaches suffered by the average citizen of Mentia."

Argument 35
The author of thestudy predicts a steady decline in the number of headaches suffered by theaverage Mentia residents with the new use of salicylates. In support of suchprediction the author points out that salicylates share the same headache-treatingfunctions as aspirin. Additionally, he cites a study suggesting that thedecline in the number of headaches correlates with the commercial use ofsalicylates. However, a thorough analysis of this study unveils several obviousflaws regarding the author's reasoning.
First of all, theauthor takes for granted that salicylates function as headache killers for themere reason that they are members of the same chemical family as aspirin, awidely used headache treatment.  Thisdeduction is of course demonstrably fallacious. The fact that two chemicalsubstances belong to the same chemical family does not necessarily point to asimilarity in function. For example, the mammalian hormones estrogen and androgen are bothmembers of the same chemical family steroids, yet they perform distinctfunctions-estrogen serves as a female hormone while androgen works as a malehormone. Thus, the deduction that salicylates is effective in treatingheadaches is unjustified.
In addition, thestudy cited by the author is not in itself persuasive. A correlation betweenthe rise in the commercial use of salicylates and the decline in reportedheadaches is no proof of a causality between the two. There might be variousfactors causing or preventing headaches that have nothing to do with the intakeof salicylates, namely psychological factors, environmental stress, climatechange, and etc. A more comprehensive study should include experimental groupstaking foods containing salicylates and control groups taking foods with placebo,both of which placed under the same circumstances. This could rule out theinterfering elements and provide a more accurate result by replacing thetime-elapsed comparison in the existing study with a lateral comparison. Thus,the study cited by the author is not a cogent support for the final prediction.
Finally, evenassuming that salicylates added in foods could function as a headachetreatment, there is no justification in pointing out that a new use forsalicylates could cause a decline of headaches in Mentia. It hasn't been statedby the author whether a high dosage of salicylates in foods could lead topotential side effects. Considering that salicylates are already being added infoods as preservatives, the additional use of such substances as favoringagents could result in an excessive intake of salicylates. As with any drug,the appropriate dosage is crucial for an overdose is often a cause for seriousand even fatal side effects. Consequently it is fallacious to predict that thenew use of salicylates could help decrease the number of headaches suffered byMentia citizens.
In conclusion, theprediction made by the author is unconvincing as it stands. To strengthen itthe author would need to examine in detail the chemical properties and functionsof salicylates, investigate the effects of salicylates added in foods, anddefine the optimized dosage of salicylates additives.

everest4everUID: 2856149

帮帮忙，谢谢！

章小杰UID: 2830569

我觉得你语言功底很好， 行文很顺。但是逻辑链有待加强。 第一段的逻辑不是特别清晰。

按照我的理解这个ARGUEMENT的逻辑是：
S. and aspirin are in the same family, so s. also treat headaches.
S. in food increase and reported headaches declined in the last several decades, conclude that S. is the cause of the decline.
so adding more S. will lead to further reduction of headache sufferings.

这个是我的提纲：
1. Saclicylates being members of the same chemical family as aspirin has little indication that S. has the same or similar effect of treating headaches as aspirin.
2. The decline of average number of headaches reported is related, but not necessary caused by the use of S. in food. The study methodology is not reliable. Twenty years is a long time span, during which many other facts can be changed.
4. Even the S. is an effective medicine for headaches, using S. as preservatives as well as flavor in food can be overdosed, which can be extremely harmful than beneficial.   
5. No information about current occurrence of headaches is provided. It is likely that the number of headache suffered by the average citizen of Mentia is really low already which leaves little space for further reduction.

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everest4everUID: 2856149

谢了，我明年考6g