欢迎拍 issue 30

crazyjooUID: 2805124

TOPIC: ISSUE30 - "The primary goal of technological advancement should be to increase people's efficiency so that everyone has more leisure time."
WORDS: 639          TIME: 00:47:46          DATE: 2000-7-26 23:59:25




With the rapid development of technology, it is apparent that we human get lots of convenience and pleasure from the sciences advancement. However, we cannot deny that we also suffer from such a seemly positive development. Although the goal of technology is to satisfy our needs provide us more leisure time. Unfortunately, things seem to go to the oppose direction.

To begin with, few people will deny the benefit brought by technological advancement. And it is also not uncommon to see advertisement of some new high-tech products advocating the notion of "better technology better life". With the advance transportations, we can drive to and from work. Paris and Egypt are not the places which only appear in dreams. We can easily access to these beautiful places by aircraft which saves us lots of time, that is to say, leaving us more leisure time. With the presence of television set, people do not need to flock to buy tickets. They can sit the sofa, drink a cup of tea and watch the show they like. People no longer need to travel between cinemas since they can simply switch the TV programs. And people do not need to spend lots of time on queuing for tickets given then fact that almost show can be watch in the television. In this light, technology does increase our efficiency and increase our leisure time.

Anyway, human's desire for further development is endless. It is almost impossible to see that human would satisfied with the current conditions someday, especially human have got such a powerful tool----technology. Although we gain much from it, however, we also suffer much from it as well. One example aptly illustrates this point involved the famous movie , by Charles Chaplin. This movie reflected the negative influence brought by the advancement of industrialization. Chaplin as a worker in the movie was tortured by the grueling work everyday. Although the equipment and facilities were much more advance than that in steam era, however, workers burden had not been mitigated, not to mention to have more leisure time. Chaplin was the most representative worker. He did his job in streamline day and night and finally went mad. To some extend, all the workers in the movie were controlled by the machines which actually should be controlled by the workers. In other words, they were controlled by human's insatiable desire for better productivity and technology which was motivated by the advancement of technology itself. This trend seems to be a circulation which would not get to the end.

All in all, we human should give the clear goal of technology. Hundreds of thousands years ago, our ancestor created bows for hunting and created harrows for farming. Their notion of technology such as bows and fallows is simple. By bows, they can enjoy the delicious meat. By harrow, they can avoid to be hungry when the winter comes. In short, those ancient technologies are aimed to make everyone happier than yesterday. And that's the nature of technology. However, in the modern world, technologies are likely to spawn many societal problems and pressure. People are suffering from the high pressure brought by technology competition. And just like Chaplin in the , human are becoming the tool of technologies and their daily life teem with grueling task. In this light, we should review our current technology since these technology tend to deprive our leisure time. We should not focus on continual development, that is, to use the merit of technology rationally. Otherwise, the use of technology will deviate it original goal.

To sum up, the speaker's claim is fundamental correct. Because the intent of technology is to serve us well and provide us more leisure time. And we human should rescrutinize the nature of our current technology and drab it back to its original way.

听了同学的建议，第一次有意识的限时+不看字数！！ 注意！考试时是无法看字数的，而且每行能容纳的字比awp少。。这点为啥awp不模拟到呢。。

starfirezhuUID: 2842465

TOPIC: ISSUE30 - "The primary goal of technological advancement should be to increase people's efficiency so that everyone has more leisure time."
WORDS: 639          TIME: 00:47:46          DATE: 2000-7-26 23:59:25
【审题】技术进步的首要目标应该是提高效率使每个人有更多休闲时间。
【破题】primary goal，efficiency, everyone. 关注词：primary? efficiency? everyone?
【立场】more leisure time 只是目标之一，并非首要目标！首要目标应该是全面提高人类的生活品质！

With the rapid development of technology, it is apparent that we human get lots of convenience and pleasure from the sciences advancement. However, we cannot deny that we also suffer from such a seemly positive development. Although , although the goal of technology is to satisfy our needs and provide us more leisure time. Unfortunately, things seem to go to the oppose direction.
这段的表述没有抓住中心！有混乱的感觉 ——技术发展带来了便利和享乐，但是也有害处，尽管技术的目标是满足我们的需要...  为何不开题就围绕“技术进步的首要目标到底是啥”这个问题来展开呢？   注意，走题是最大的失误！

To begin with, few people will deny the benefit brought by technological advancement. And it is also not uncommon to see advertisement of some new high-tech products advocating the notion of "better technology better life". With the advanced transportations, we can drive to and from work. Paris and Egypt are not the places which only appear in dreams. We can easily access to these beautiful places by aircraft which saves us lots of time, that is to say, leaving us more leisure time. With the presence of television set, people do not need to needn't flock to buy tickets. They can sit the in sofa, drink a cup of tea and watch the show they like. People no longer need to travel between cinemas since they can simply switch the TV programs. And people do not need to needn't spend lots of time on queuing for tickets given then fact that almost show can be watch in the on television. In this light, technology does increase our efficiency and increase our leisure time.
本段需要的提纲是：技术进步确实提高了效率带来了休闲时间。举例：交通可以；电视不妥。提高效率的还有电脑信息技术，机器人技术，等等。这个例子不要漏了。开头就走题了，谈啥技术改善了生活。走题了！！

Anyway, human's desire for further development is endless. It is almost impossible to see that human would satisfied with the current conditions someday, especially human have got such a powerful tool----technology. Although we gain much from it, however, we also suffer much from it as well. One example aptly illustrates this point involved the famous movie , by Charles Chaplin. This movie reflected the negative influence brought by the advancement of industrialization. Chaplin as a worker in the movie was tortured by the grueling work everyday. Although the equipment and facilities were much more advance than that in steam era, however, workers burden had not been mitigated, not to mention to have more leisure time. Chaplin was the most representative worker. He did his job in streamline day and night and finally went mad. To some extend, all the workers in the movie were controlled by the machines which actually should be controlled by the workers. In other words, they were controlled by human's insatiable desire for better productivity and technology which was motivated by the advancement of technology itself. This trend seems to be a circulation which would not get to the end.
走题了！谈啥技术进步的负面影响啊？你要讨论的题目是“技术进步的主要目标到底是不是提高效率使人有更多休闲时间？”这个问题不讲，专讲别的去了。
本段需要的提纲是：除了提高效率和带来休闲时间外，技术进步还在其他方面给人类带来了好处。例如：基因治疗技术为绝症患者带来希望；多媒体技术使人们享受到高清3D视频效果；等等。

All in all, we human should give the clear goal of technology. Hundreds of thousands years ago, our ancestor created bows for hunting and created harrows for farming. Their notion of technology such as bows and fallows is simple. By bows, they can enjoy the delicious meat. By harrow, they can avoid to be hungry when the winter comes. In short, those ancient technologies are aimed to make everyone happier than yesterday. And that's the nature of technology. However, in the modern world, technologies are likely to spawn many societal problems and pressure. People are suffering from the high pressure brought by technology competition. And just like Chaplin in the , human are becoming the tool of technologies and their daily life teem with grueling task. In this light, we should review our current technology since these technology tend to deprive our leisure time. We should not focus on continual development, that is, to use the merit of technology rationally. Otherwise, the use of technology will deviate it original goal.
这段不错。点出了技术进步除了提高效率和带来休闲时间之外的目标。但是，后部分又去讲技术的负面，完全是题外话！
本段的提纲应该是：技术进步在人类生活中的作用从来就是为了提供更高质量的生活。这才是它的真正的主要目标！

To sum up, the speaker's claim is fundamentally correct. Because the intent of technology is to serve us well and provide us more leisure time. And we human should rescrutinize the nature of our current technology and drab it back to its original way.
由于前面的立意错误，这段总结也是错误的。
这一段需要的提纲是：技术进步的主要目标应该是提高人类的生活质量。而提高效率和增加休闲时间不过是人类从技术进步中受到的部分益处而已。清楚这一点，有利于我们更好地发展科学技术，使之为人类的幸福服务。