8月14号考，求批作文ellishu，可狂拍砖(大家看哪方面还有模板的影子)

ellishuUID: 2699646

09.01.10
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Improving schools is the most important factor in the successful development of a country. 是否同意教育的进步是国家成功的最主要因素？

WORDS: 443
TIME: 00:48:40
DATE: 7/31/2010 11:36:17 AM

People often form an unrealistic attitude towards schools and their influence on contemporary people. They imagine school to be a sort of paradise where people could remarkably improve their education levels, thus improving schools turns out to be most important factor in the successful development of a country. As far as I am concerned, much as one of the key elements that contribute to the success of a country is education, it is hasty to claim that it is the most significant element when other factors are taken into consideration.

First and for most, even people who are opposed to my viewpoint could not fail to notice that even country with a poor education system or schools could achieve tremendous success as well. The world is filled with such examples. For instance, South Korea, our neighbor country, has focused on the import of advanced technology since 1970 and has greatly changed the quality of people's lives. However, most of its elites receive education from notable universities either in American or in Britain due to the fact that the government pays much less attention on improving domestic education.

In addition, while we highlight the essential factor played by the schools, isn't it necessary for us to give some considerations to some more vital factors such as improving the living standard of the country? According to a recent statistics conducted by a group of experts from SJTU, the living condition of a country has become a main symbol of how much achievement has been completed by the country. Condition of the society is such that it is hard to imagine people would be satisfied to sacrifice the atmosphere with affluent living materials for the privilege of enjoying a great many famous universities. In fact, it is commonly believed that the higher a living standard people enjoy, the more success a country has achieved.

Of course, no one can deny that improving schools could serve as a supplemental role in accelerating the pace of a county towards its ultimate goal. This can give rise to beneficial consequence as it does in the case of our country. The sums of money invested in education in recent years is two times as much as the amount in 1990s and the changed schools is conducive to making our education levels go abreast with the advanced technology we have enjoyed.

From what have been talked above, now we can safely draw the conclusion that important though the improving schools is, it cannot compete to other factors such as improving people's living standard. Any country that is bind to point would not be able to make tremendous achievement in the world.

没找到怎么加附件，估计大家改有点麻烦了

kunkunabcUID: 2665098

我自己作文不行，
不过我觉得，作者可以将第三段，放在第一段（即承让），现在的第一段改成写“教育有可能是人失败”（转折）+即便教育进步，还需要其他因素..
这样感觉层次更深了。

ellishuUID: 2699646

2# kunkunabc

之前一直使用模板，这是脱离模板后的感觉，但显然水平就降下了，若把让步放前面怕到最后重点的不好发挥

ellishuUID: 2699646

09.01.17  
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Advertising is the most important cause of unhealthy eating habits. 是否同意广告是不健康饮食习惯的最主要原因？

People often form an unrealistic attitude towards advertising and its influence on people's lives. Nowadays there are a growing proportion of people who claim that it is the advertising that accounts for fostering people's unhealthy eating habits. However, as far as I am concerned, not only the plenty of advertisements around us should be blamed, but the fast-paced modern society and contemporary moral value exert a great influence on the problems such as overweight as well.

First and for most, one of the things that fascinates people most about eating the unhealthy food is that this fast food consumes people less time to prepare and eat. Even people who are opposed my viewpoints could not fail to notice that the tradition food is considerably time-consuming. With the tense job-market and the growing desire of job promotion, a great majority of people are willing to sacrifice a healthy eating habit for saving much more time on working in the office, thus this phenomenon brings out various diseases on the officers. According to a recent statistics conducted by a group of experts from SJTU, the ratio of obesity among officers in 2009 is five times higher than it was in 1980 and most respondents claim that the fast-paced society compounds their health problems. Consequently, when we highlight the essential role played by the advertising in causing our unhealthy eating habits, isn't it necessary for us give some consideration to the accelerated pace of people's lives, which leave people less time on eating healthy food?

In addition, the contemporary moral value contributes to people's unhealthy habit as well. The western food has come to fashion in the last twenty years. Condition of the society is such that a great many people would prefer to eat such kind of food to go abreast with the fashionable trend without being conscious that it can give rise to a variety of illnesses such as obesity and high blood pressure because of the high fat and high calorie in the food. This can give rise to serious consequence as it does in the case of my friend Kevin. He sometimes just feels obliged to eat the unhealthy food in order to catch up with times and cater to his peers.

Of course, no one can deny that the advertising indeed plays a vital part of role in people's unhealthy eating habits. People now are not free to choose what they like to eat for many companies have made a close study on human nature and advertisements now could exert a subtle influence on people's lives. For example, companies often employ some notable models to symbolize their food for the simple reason that people are more likely to believe their idols, thus that could lead to more healthy problems.

In the final analysis, now we could safely draw the conclusion that numerous though the problems that the advertising could bring out are, it is hasty to claim that advertising is the most important cause of unhealthy eating habits when the faced-pace society and the modern moral value are taken account of. Anyone who is bind to this point would fail to have a comprehensive understanding towards the formation of people's eating habit and possess a good health

ellishuUID: 2699646

09.02.27
A job with more vacation time but a low salary is better than a job with a high salary but less vacation time. 是否同意底薪假期多的工作比高薪假期少的工作好？

WORDS: 527
TIME: 00:41:21
DATE: 8/2/2010 3:42:38 PM

People often form an unrealistic attitude towards the vacation and salary offered by the company. Some even live under the illusion that a job with more vacation and low salary would be more advantageous than the one with high salary but less vacation time for the simple reason that they could enjoy more time with their family and deal with their personal business. However, as far as I am concerned, numerous though the advantages that former one leads to are, it cannot compete to the latter one when we take consideration of the promotion opportunities and self-realization during the jobs.

Admittedly, no one can deny that jobs with a low salary but more vacation could facilitate our lives remarkably. One the one hand, due to the limited time on the job, people would enjoy more time with their family members, thus they could avoid plenty of unnecessary conflicts or even divorce in the family. One the other hand, it is a good chance for them to learn more practical skills such as cooking, swimming and so on so force, which could put them in a better position when they contact with different personalities due to a great many topics in common. What is more, so much spare time do they have that they are likely to take part-time jobs to relieve their economic burden.

However, while we highlight the advantages of the jobs that don't have to occupy our too much time, I firmly believe that the jobs with more salary and less vacation would enjoy more advantages over the previous mentioned jobs. Even people who are opposed to my viewpoint could not fail to notice that people with more vacation are more likely to be dismissed in the time of depression. According to a statistics conducted by a group of experts from SJTU, over sixty percent people who lose their jobs during that period have more vacation than their workmates. Not only are they prone to lose job easily, but those people would have less chance to be promoted as well. Such is human nature that the company is more willing to let the managers to work more days under the same salary.

In addition, when we complain the demanding requires in the jobs with less vacation and more salary, isn't it necessary for us to give some consideration of their function in our self-realization. A large majority of contemporary people now believe that it pays to dedicate their whole lives to the jobs, for they pursue the same amount of happiness as well, which cannot be enjoyed by any vacation or other activities. For example, Bill Gate, the richest person in our world, sacrifices many vacations for his jobs for the simple reason that he could enjoy great satisfaction during his work.

From what we have talked above, we now could safely draw the conclusion that much as there may be minor merits of the jobs with less salary and more vacation, its counterpart would be more beneficial to our lives when the job promotion and self-realization are taken into consideration. Anyone who is blind to this point would not have a colorful life and enjoy more materials.

psychecullenUID: 2815367

··哎 同一天考试 我作文也不好 但还是给你顶顶吧··

dandan17UID: 2812933

ellishuUID: 2699646

7# dandan17

谢谢， 你的我已改，也许不足但我会多努力

ellishuUID: 2699646

又一篇，希望多指正

09.02.21
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Newspapers and magazines are the best ways to learn about a foreign country.是否同意新闻和报纸是了解外国的最主要方式？

WORDS: 510
TIME: 00:40:00
DATE: 8/4/2010 2:07:48 PM

People often form an unrealistic view towards newspapers and magazines and their functions. Some even live under the illusion that they are the best ways to learn about a foreign country due to the affluent information provided by those medias. However, as far as I am concerned, considerable though the advantages that the newspapers and magazines could bring out are, it is too hasty to claim that they are the most effective ways to fully comprehend other countries when we give some consideration of the effects of government on the information in the medias and the significance of contacting with local people.

Admittedly, no one can deny that the newspapers and magazines have played an essential role in providing huge amount of information about other countries' culture and civilization. Conditions of the society are such that it is impractical for people to experience every culture by themselves. For example, by reading the comments of the World Cup, I get a general concept of the culture of South American and their enthusiasms towards football without going to see the play by myself.

However, while we highlight the advantages of the newspapers and magazines, isn't it necessary for us to take into account of their limitation due to the interference of the government. The amount of information provided by the newspapers and magazines we are subjected to is supervised carefully by the apartment of the government so that they may inhibit us from forming an objective attitude towards other counties. According to a recent statistics conducted by a group of experts from STJU, over ninety percent of counties are prone to conceal realistic imagines of other counties in order to avoid disorder or even chaos. For instance, a large majority of people in North Korea believe that people in other counties enjoy far less democracy due to the blockade of information.

In addition, even people who are opposed to my viewpoint could not fail to notice that the comments in the newspapers or magazines prevent us from forming an independent comprehension towards the condition of other counties. In fact, a great many people are willing to sacrifice a huge amount of money to make a trip to other counties and contact with the local people so that they can enjoy the first hand information towards the event. For example, only people who have ever been to Japan can grasp the essence of the country's spirit instead of believing in the claims in the newspapers due to the history between the two countries.

From what we have talked above, we now could draw the conclusion that significant though the newspapers and magazines are in terms of their function of providing us affluent information about other countries, it is far from enough to fully comprehend other countries due to the interference of the government and importance to contact with the local people. People who are bind to this point would fail to have an authentic view towards other counties and could not broaden their viewpoints.

kila1002UID: 2806614

改好了~~~楼主别用模板啦~~~~模板不是好东西

ellishuUID: 2699646

俺在努力脱离模板，不知大家现在看还有很重的影子吗？
可以尽情评价


09.05.30 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Younger school children (ages five to ten) should be required to study art and music in addition to math, science, history and language.

WORDS: 484          TIME: 00:35:00          DATE: 8/5/2010 12:04:19 PM

Nowadays, children are exposed to a great many courses from music to science, which are beyond the senior’s dreams. However, Some people live under the illusion that children should not be required to study them except the curriculums like math or science due to their rare relationship with our daily life. However, I am in favor of this viewpoint for we should take into consideration of their functions of broadening the children's interests and the relative low burden of children ranging around five to ten.

Admittedly, no one can deny that art and music don't have a strong relationship with our daily life compared with curriculums such as math and science. Conditions of the society are such that we often put those courses in the same class as entertainment and some even go to extreme considering that they may even occupy the time of studying the useful and practical courses. For example, Kevin, the only son of my uncle, dedicates most of his spare time to the mathematics for the simple reason that his father wants him to be enrolled in Qinghua University by becoming the champion in Olympic mathematics Games.

However, courses like art and music could broaden our views and foster various interests which can put children in a better position in their future careers. On the one hand, such is human nature that employers are prone to hire the persons with a variety of skills, for they hold the perspective that people who are proficient in art or music have a broad viewpoint so that they are more likely to adapt themselves to the new atmosphere quickly. On the other hand, by contacting with the plenty of materials of arts or music, children would foster a great many hobbies as well, which could serve as stress reducer for those people when they are involved in different work in the future, thus those young people could get access to more achievement.

In addition, children aging around five to ten could spare more time on learning those courses, for they don’t have to face the burden of taking numerous exams like the senior students. In fact, plenty of children are willing to sacrifice their playing time to take extra courses of arts or music. This can give rise to beneficial consequence for the individual as it does in the case of my nephew. He often telephones me telling how excited he is during the art course and his happiness which cannot be enjoyed in any plays or activities.

In general, we now could safely draw the conclusion that it is necessary for children to take part in these courses when its functions of broadening children's mind and the relative more spare time of them are taken into considerate on. Any parent or teacher who is blind to this point may fail to let a child become a well-round person and achieve more success.

ellishuUID: 2699646

8月5日作业
09.05.30 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Younger school children (ages five to ten) should be required to study art and music in addition to math, science, history and language.

WORDS: 484          TIME: 00:35:00          DATE: 8/5/2010 12:04:19 PM

Nowadays, children are exposed to a great many courses from music to science, which are beyond the senior’s dreams. However, Some people live under the illusion that children should not be required to study them except the curriculums like math or science due to their rare relationship with our daily life. However, I am in favor of this viewpoint for we should take into consideration of their functions of broadening the children's interests and the relative low burden of children ranging around five to ten.

Admittedly, no one can deny that art and music don't have a strong relationship with our daily life compared with curriculums such as math and science. Conditions of the society are such that we often put those courses in the same class as entertainment and some even go to extreme considering that they may even occupy the time of studying the useful and practical courses. For example, Kevin, the only son of my uncle, dedicates most of his spare time to the mathematics for the simple reason that his father wants him to be enrolled in Qinghua University by becoming the champion in Olympic mathematics Games.

However, courses like art and music could broaden our views and foster various interests which can put children in a better position in their future careers. On the one hand, such is human nature that employers are prone to hire the persons with a variety of skills, for they hold the perspective that people who are proficient in art or music have a broad viewpoint so that they are more likely to adapt themselves to the new atmosphere quickly. On the other hand, by contacting with the plenty of materials of arts or music, children would foster a great many hobbies as well, which could serve as stress reducer for those people when they are involved in different work in the future, thus those young people could get access to more achievement.

In addition, children aging around five to ten could spare more time on learning those courses, for they don’t have to face the burden of taking numerous exams like the senior students. In fact, plenty of children are willing to sacrifice their playing time to take extra courses of arts or music. This can give rise to beneficial consequence for the individual as it does in the case of my nephew. He often telephones me telling how excited he is during the art course and his happiness which cannot be enjoyed in any plays or activities.

In general, we now could safely draw the conclusion that it is necessary for children to take part in these courses when its functions of broadening children's mind and the relative more spare time of them are taken into considerate on. Any parent or teacher who is blind to this point may fail to let a child become a well-round person and achieve more success.

伶女UID: 2797207

早就改好了，忘了传过了，呵呵，见谅呢～～

肖婷~UID: 2740510

已经改好了~见附件~
才开始学改作文，有些观点比较片面，请见谅~~

ellishuUID: 2699646

14# 肖婷~
恩，刚看了你的批改，谢谢，我想表达的意思是，我同意的观点是学art 和music，但是受g作文影响太深，所以先来转折，再强调主体，但发现很多人都不太赞成这种做法，我打算把后两段提前些估计会好些，谢谢。