Issue7求拍，逻辑用词举例各种问题恳请指正~

joyce==UID: 2857353

题目："The video camera provides such an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life that it has become a more important form of documentation than written records."

It is indeed a fact that the video camera, as one of numerous electronic products that dazzles peoples’ eyes, tend to gain a wide popularity nowadays. Howbeit as a tool which can only mechanically record what happens, the video camera has some disadvantages as well. Therefore, I partially agree with the author’s statement that due to its accuracy and convinceness, the video camera is viewed as a more important form of documentation than written records.

To begin with, video documentation is more visual and intuitionistic than written records. Since both images and sound can be recorded, a video clip can veritablly deacidize the scenes where events take place. Compared with the video camera, however, traditional forms of documentation like written records do not have such functions. Usually it requires the readers to rebuild the situation in his or her mind through imagination, which may result in deviation of the note-taker’s origin meaning if readers misunderstand the description. If we want to record the sports competitions for instance, then which form of documentation should we choose? The answer is apparently video cameras. Since whether the competition is competitive and whether the performance of players is excellent in the process of a competition is what audience ultimately pay attention to, thus written records’failing to show the details will cause readers’ unawareness of the process, and consequently they just know the boring result.

In the second place, the video camera is more accurate, objective than written records. Suppose in an interview, the facial and emotional expression of the compere and guests, the surrounding environment can all be displayed precisely and without leaving out any details by the vedio camera, this, however, can not be described as meticulous as it is in real-life situation by written records. Moreover, due to the fact that anyone writes with subjective point of view, we cannot assure if descriptions are objectively reflect the facts or events. Take a news report of a robbery as example, if the writer himself or herself has the preference to the criminals over the victims, he or she may prejudicially exculpate for the criminals, manifesting that the crime is not so serious as it really is. While using tiny surveillance camera, we can show what the robbers have done from the beginning to the end, leaving questions such as what under the canopy serious is this robbery to the audiences, only in this way can the news report be objective.

Just as a coin has two sides, the video documentation has disadvantages as well. After all, the video camera is a kind of mechanical product, it cannot illustrate summarized or generalized information based on the known information recorded. What a video camera presents is only facts, not disciplines or theorems. Written records, instead, effectuate this point well. Moreover, sometimes it is not so concise, even redundant to use video documentation to record things. A case in point is the record of free-fall experiment——since the law of free fall is already known, what we need to do is just write down identical velocities and distances and compute from these data, how to conduct this experiment is not the focal point, hence only written records can elucidate the problem, a video documentation on the contrary is unnecessary.

In conclusion, the video camera provides an accurate record of physical life and phenomena, and just because of this it is widely used by a large number of people. But it cannot provide any abstract information generalized from some known facts while written records can. In fact these two media are essential to the modern life where multimedia is noted as a character of recording. To record more effectively, we should appropriately choose between these two ways of documentation to make a better use of them.

逻辑上感觉不那么糟糕了，可是怎么也没有ETS要求的insightful的感觉。。。就像篇四级作文似的，额。。。