Issue51求猛拍，留链必回拍

nijiaqinUID: 2856025

题目：ISSUE51 - "Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student."
字数：497
用时：0:48:44
日期：2010-7-31

In recent years, the topic of how to make education more efficient is so hot that people varing from backgrounds as well as personalities tend to observe this same issue from diversified perspectives. A widely accepted viewpoint claims that Education will be truly effective only when it can wholly satisfy each student's personal needs and interests. Though I'm not pleased with the feeling of being an critic, I would rather stand on the opposite of this claim and reckon that it is a mission impossible for our education system to be accurate enough to the level of individual.

First of all, I have to concede that there are some students who have some special gifts but can not behave well in traditonal courses. I have a high school mate called Tim who was really interested in painting and always won prizes for our school in art competitions hold by the city government. However, his poor math and physics cost too much time and energy of Tim which may serve as a main obstacle for him to get further progress. In my eyes, it might be opinionated to say that mathematical or physical skills would be useless for a painter at all, but extra time on drawing is obviously more significant for a student like Tim.

Nevertheless, it is quite a hard task to judge whether a course is suitable or not for a certain child. As most of the students are teenagers or even younger, it is unreasonable to require them to try various subjects in deep and finally provide a accurate answer of which is their true love. What's more, considering the poor ability in expression of these young guys, it may be a difficult work for teachers and adults to communicate with them and get a full understanding of what they want to learn. On the other hand, what is believed to be important or interesting in educators' mind is alway hated by students, which means letting courses chosen by instructors might be awkward in serving as a key to be appropriate for students.

At last, the potential risks brought by such an education system might be too high too afford. According to a study by National Education (Vol.251) , in European countries, the common rate of teachers and students is 1:7. However, if we decide to provide individual education, I'm not brave enough to calculate the tremendous lack of teachers. As each student is going to learn several different courses at the same time, the rate above might be hence upside down. Crazily, even if we have found so much teachers, there might be no man free to fill the positions which is necessary for our society such as handing in taxes to pay the salaries to our hard-working teachers.

To sum up, though it is essential for us to provide different education to various student, the stake would be too high to care about everyone. A more rational choice might be to divide our children into groups rather than individuals.

本来想再增加一段，主题是应该把学生根据特点划分为不同的小组而非精确到个人，可是时间不够了，就在结尾里点了一下。不知道这样做是不是还不如直接放弃这个想法，在末尾只总结前面写到过的东西呢？

晓樟UID: 2846325

题目：ISSUE51 - "Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student."

  In recent years, the topic of how to make education more efficient is so hot that people varing from on different backgrounds as well as personalities tend to observe this same issue from diversified perspectives. A widely accepted viewpoint claims that Education will be truly effective only when it can wholly satisfy each student's personal needs and interests. Though I'm not pleased with the feeling of being a critic, I would rather stand on the opposite of this claim and reckon that it is a mission impossible for our education system to be accurate enough to the level of individual.

First of all, I have to concede that there are some students who have some special gifts but can not behave well in traditional courses. I have a high school mate called Tim who was really interested in painting and always won prizes for our school in art competitions hold by the city government. However, his poor math and physics cost too much time and energy of Tim, which may might reasonably serve as a main obstacle for him to get further progress. In my eyes, it might be opinionated to say that mathematical or physical skills courses(这样改是为了和下一段首句的course 相呼应) would be useless for a painter at all, but extra time on drawing is obviously more significant for a student like Tim.

Nevertheless, it is quite a hard task to judge whether a course is suitable or not for a certain child. As most of the students are teenagers or even younger, it is unreasonable to require them to try various subjects in deep and finally provide an accurate answer of which is their true love.（我觉得不合理之处在于孩子自己也不知道或不了解什么是适合自己的，而不在于要求他们这么去做的行为本身。） What's more, considering the poor ability in expression of these young guys, it may be a difficult work for teachers and adults to communicate with them and get a full understanding of what they want to learn. On the other hand, what is believed to be important or interesting in educators' mind is always hated by students（说得不严密，比较绝对）, which means letting courses chosen by instructors might be awkward in serving as a key to be appropriate for students.（论证学生、家长、老师三方面都不能解决ts提出的问题，使证明过程更加严密，比如学生是因为不了解自己喜欢什么，家长是因为可能将自己的理想强加于子女身上，老师是因为固有传统思想的禁锢， 等等）

At last, the potential risks brought by such an individual education system might be too high to afford. According to a study by National Education (Vol.251), in European countries, the common rate of teachers and students is 1:7. However, if we decide to provide individual education, I'm not brave enough nobody would dare to calculate the tremendous lack of teachers. As each student is going to learn several different courses at the same time, the rate above might be hence upside down. Crazily, even if we have found so many teachers, there might be no man free to fill the positions which is necessary for our society such as handing in taxes to pay the salaries to our hard-working teachers.

To sum up, though it is essential for us to provide different education to various students, the stake would be too high to care about everyone. A more rational choice might be to divide our children into groups rather than individuals.（这段总结更像是针对上一段的，而非全文？！）

分析题目，关键字有individual needs(interests of each student), education, and effective,作者只提及了前两个，但没有论证前者与后者之间的关系，如果能在倒数第二段加入这部分，那么文章就更加充实了。还有，我觉得你论证第一段的叙述以及和第二段之间结构的设计都很好，加油！
本人能力有限，若有帮助，甚好；若有不当之处，请谅解~

晓樟UID: 2846325

论证时issue的核心，但是，文章的完整性也很重要。如果你要展开的部分对论证没有关键性的提高，我觉得放弃为妙。不如节约时间完善原文的论证严密性和逻辑性~:)

nijiaqinUID: 2856025

感谢LS的点评。我是按照新东方老师的建议，写完开头就写总结段的，然后再写中间，这样好处是不会因为时间紧急来不及写总结段造成文章不完整，缺点就象你说的，容易导致总结不全面，毕竟写结尾的时候正文还没影子呢。。。看来以后还是要改进下