高频ARGUMENT 53--hormone导致婴儿shyness xxx 有难度。。 求互改~倒数7天 fight!

guo0693UID: 2540167

TOPIC: ARGUMENT53 - Thirteen years ago, researchers studied a group of 25 infants who showed signs of mild distress when exposed to unfamiliar stimuli such as an unusual odor or a tape recording of an unknown voice. They discovered that these infants were more likely than other infants to have been conceived in early autumn, a time when their mothers' production of melatonin-a hormone known to affect some brain functions-would naturally increase in response to decreased daylight. In a follow-up study conducted earlier this year, more than half of these children-now teenagers-who had shown signs of distress identified themselves as shy. Clearly, increased levels of melatonin before birth cause shyness during infancy and this shyness continues into later life.
WORDS: 415          TIME: 01:06:44          DATE: 2010-8-1 21:34:51

In this argument, the arguer try to propose two assumptions: (1) increased levels of melatonin, which affects some brain functions, may causes infant's shyness;(2) this shyness will continues into later life. Sadly to say, these two conclusions are both poorly reasoned.

First of all, the fact that the study of a group of 25 infants who are more likely born in autumn during which their mothers' production of melatonin will naturally increase lends no supports to the first conclusion that earlier shyness of a infant results from the increased amount of melatonin. Putting aside the validity of the premise that melatonin will increase during autumn in response to decreased daylight, the arguer still fail to reason the conclusion in two ways. On one hand, the number twenty five is far away from enough to assign valid generalization to this assumption. We need more samples to test whether there is necessary connection between earlier shyness and the time when the infant is born. On the other hand, what makes the assumption baseless is the lack of comparison in this study. Without comparison with other infants who are not born in autumn, we could not sweep out other possible causes of earlier shyness, for example their parents' gene or the nutrition ingested by their mothers during pregnant. Unless the study is improved to a scientific extent, I will not be convinced.

Secondly, the presumption that shyness will continues into later life is unwarranted. The arguer commit the same fault by base his prediction on a biased study. The samples do not posses enough otherness. If we plant twenty five trees which are all with flaw, the result that more than half of them will not grow sturdily is undoubted. In addition, as we all know that one individual's development, especially the formation of one's character, is largely related to the acquired environment. I, myself, am a persuasive example. I used to be very shy in my childhood. I dared not to chat with even my relatives. However, I began to open my mouth since I stepped into university. Because of the need of communication and cooperation during the study, I become extrovert and mature. Meanwhile, the feeling of been accepted encouraged me to make more friends. Therefore, it is unwarranted to predict that shyness will continue into later life even if study is not deficient.

To sum up, without insightful consideration, the arguer failed to generate the conclusion and based his or her statement on two flawed study.
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这篇文章理清逻辑链的时候费了不少功夫，开头个结尾写的时候很痛苦。因为是两个study,总觉得不可能两个都去驳一下。
希望大大们给出个好的建议 有关结尾和开头（针对这个A就可以了，其他的经验文章我有看过，只是放到这里想不出怎么应用）。
提纲：
1指出arguer犯了两个错误
2.第一个study的样本空间不足，且缺少对比，因此不能用来推出第一个论点
3.第二个study也有同样的错误，而且由该study不能推出this shyness continues into later life.
4结论。

guo0693UID: 2540167

:O

guo0693UID: 2540167

自改一下。。。

TOPIC: ARGUMENT53 - Thirteen years ago, researchers studied a group of 25 infants who showed signs of mild distress when exposed to unfamiliar stimuli such as an unusual odor or a tape recording of an unknown voice. They discovered that these infants were more likely than other infants to have been conceived in early autumn, a time when their mothers' production of melatonin-a hormone known to affect some brain functions-would naturally increase in response to decreased daylight. In a follow-up study conducted earlier this year, more than half of these children-now teenagers-who had shown signs of distress identified themselves as shy. Clearly, increased levels of melatonin before birth cause shyness during infancy and this shyness continues into later life.
WORDS: 415          TIME: 01:06:44          DATE: 2010-8-1 21:34:51

In this argument, the arguer try to propose two assumptions: (1) increased levels of melatonin, which affects some brain functions, may causes infant's shyness;(2) this shyness will continues into later life. Sadly to say, these two conclusions are both poorly reasoned.(this arugment relies on ungrounded assumptions and therefore is unpersuasive as it stands)

First of all, the fact that the study of a group of 25 infants who are more likely born in autumn during which their mothers' production of melatonin will naturally increase lends no supports to the first conclusion that earlier shyness of a infant results from the increased amount of melatonin. Putting aside the validity of the premise that melatonin will increase during autumn in response to decreased daylight, the arguer still fail to (successfully)reason the conclusion in two ways. On one hand, the number twenty five is far away from enough to assign valid generalization to this assumption. We need more samples to test whether there is necessary connection between earlier shyness and the time when the infant is born. On the other hand, what makes the assumption baseless is the lack of comparison in this study. Without comparison with other infants who are not born in autumn, we could not sweep out other possible causes of earlier shyness, for example their parents' gene or the nutrition ingested by their mothers during pregnant. Unless the study is improved to a scientific extent, (the preior conclution will remain unconvinced)I will not be convinced.

Secondly, the presumption that shyness will continues into later life is unwarranted. As we all know that one individual's development, especially the formation of one's character, is largely related to the acquired environment. I, myself, am a persuasive example. I used to be very shy in my childhood. I dared not to chat with even my relatives. However, I began to open my mouth since I stepped into university. Because of the need of communication and cooperation during the study, I become extrovert and mature. Meanwhile, the feeling of been accepted encouraged me to make more friends. Besides, the arguer commits the same fault by base his prediction on a biased study. The samples do not posses enough otherness. If we plant twenty five trees which are all with flaw, the result that more than half of them will not grow sturdily is undoubted.Therefore, it is unwarranted to predict that shyness will continue into later life even if the second study is valid.

To sum up, the auther’s assertions are ill conceived and poorly supported. To make it more conviced, thorough consideration and ameliorative grounds are necessary.
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这篇文章理清逻辑链的时候费了不少功夫，开头个结尾写的时候很痛苦。因为是两个study,总觉得不可能两个都去驳一下。
希望大大们给出个好的建议 有关结尾和开头（针对这个A就可以了，其他的经验文章我有看过，只是放到这里想不出怎么应用）。
提纲：
1指出arguer犯了两个错误
2.第一个study的样本空间不足，且缺少对比，因此不能用来推出第一个论点
3.第二个study也有同样的错误，而且由该study不能推出this shyness continues into later life.
4结论。
1# guo0693

bestrose7UID: 2783413

我觉得思路很正确，而且该找的漏洞都反驳了~~很不错！
但是窃以为不要用自己来做例子，好像说服力会弱些，换成supposed a person...可能会客观点

P.S.lz用了一个小时写这篇？我也只剩几天了，总是写不完，要不掐时间就只有200来字，怎么办啊？555……

guo0693UID: 2540167

哎 没办法了 只能拼着练了~熟练了就好，实在不行就模板吧 背熟了 只不过是套例子的功夫了。。。 4# bestrose7