demon.sky的作文本

estopUID: 2864494

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Improving schools is the most important factor in the successful development of a country# Q  y2 C/ s0 I
When it comes to the controversial issue that whether the improvement of schools contributes  most to the successful development of a country, owing to the distinctive backgrounds and personal experiences, divergent viewpoints will emerge. Some people will argue that education is one of the most fundamental factors that should be considered for the development of a country. Others will hold the opinion that other factors, such as the development of economics and the culture of a country, are more important to the development of a country than the education. However, as far as I am concerned, education which most of people have received since their childhood exerts profound effect on the development of a country. As I will discuss below.(这里不是一个句子,我觉得没必要说)
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To begin with, it is commonly believed that most of the success that we human have achieved has a closely relationship with the education we have got. We can not get a better understanding of the theory without the basic knowledge and skills that we have learnt in schools. Education in school is essential to people in a country not only because it is fundamental but also people can learn how to cope up the problems involving in their learning. For instance, in my country, China, most of the parents will send their children to the primary school when they are seven years old. It is just a starting point for a person’s education. During the long process of pursuing the knowledge, people will become mature physically and psychologically. People learn to be creative .The strong desire to solve the problems usually stimulate them to consider the affairs that they have never thought of .Creativity plays an important role in the development of a country whatever at present or in the past. It gives rise to lots of inventions that brings more advantages to our life .The improvement of the working efficiency which these inventions lead to also attribute to the successful development of a country.

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Furthermore, increasing the numbers of the schools absolutely provide more opportunities for the student to receive the education. Actually, in some places, there is no school because the local government is not aware of the positive effects that the education has taken on the development of a country. Numbers of families can not afford the tuition fees is also one of the reason that the children can not receive education. Because of lacking enough knowledge , people with less education have great difficulty  contacting  with the others .They can only do some labor work which of little importance comparing with the  contributions made by the elites of the society. For example, according to a statistics data, 90% of people with better education usually can receive their decent job .It helps them to be more competitive. The knowledge and skills they have got in schools help them to devote their efforts to the society. Therefore, we can not emphasize the importance of improving schools so much.
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Finally, there is no denying that some other factors  also attribute to the development of a country, such as development of economics .The accelerate speed of growing economics can better reveal the development of a country. Nevertheless, outweighing the advantages of education that I have discussed above. 有问题I am prone to agree that improving schools is the most important factors in the successful development of a country.


600+words，是否有点多，而且我感觉逻辑有点乱
第一部分说的是教育好，第二部分说部分地区不重视教育有什么作用么，最后Finally那里就更乱了。文章很长，但是感觉思路不清晰，而且有些句子实在是太复杂了，是不是应该简单明了一点。

bayaUID: 2697520

开头模板跟我好像~~呵呵，不知道这么写会的几分~
Education in school is essential to people in a country not only because it is fundamental but also people can learn how to cope up the problems involving in their learning.
是不是应该说对工作啊，社会的作用更好点。。
整体来说感觉同上~就是思路不是很分明，感觉看着有点乱，还有句子不是很顺。。

jiangskyskyUID: 2478960

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Newspapers and magazines are the best ways to learn about a foreign country

When it comes to the controversial issue that whether it is the best way to know about foreign country from newspaper and magazines, Owing to the distinctive backgrounds and personal experience, divergent viewpoints will emerge. Some people would argue that it is convenient for us to learn about a foreign country in forms of reading newspapers and magazines. Other will hold the opinion that information that newspapers and magazines provide us is so limited that we can not get a better understanding about a foreign country. However, as far as I am concerned, newspapers and magazines can definitely satisfy our demands to learn about a foreign country. As I will discuss below.


To begin with ,it is universally convinced that newspapers and magazines bring more convenience to us especially when we are learning about a foreign country. Nowadays, newspapers and magazines are two forms of medias that we are familiar with in our daily life. We usually can see one who is reading newspaper or magazines while having breakfast or  on the bus. Reading newspapers and magazines, of course, have become the most common way for people to obtain more information in their unknown area. They facilitate us to bring with so that we can read them in the places that we are fond of such as in the cafe, or even at home. For example, when I was an exchange student in Hongkong university, my professor gave me a assignment that learn about Japan within only one week. He also offered me some old newspapers and magazines which can of great assistance to my research into Japan. I brought these materials to the library and make great efforts to read them. I had to bring them with me all the time even I was having the meals because the time my professor had give to me is so short. Because they are easy to bring, I can read them for most of the time. The convenience that newspapers and magazines have brought to me attributes to the task completely accomplished on time. Therefore, reading newspaper and magazines can absolutely make us easier to learn about a foreign country.


Furthermore, the information that newspapers and magazines have provided to us in sufficient to learn about a foreign country. When we learn about a foreign country, the things that intrigue us most are the local custom and  local culture. It is easily for us to obtain those essential information by the description in the newspapers and magazines offer us. From the picture presented by the newspapers and magazines, we seem to have experienced their life styles that are different from our home country. Those pictures can also give us a feeling of being in a foreign country enjoying the pleasant that the foreign culture brings to us. For instance, During the time I study Japan country by reading the newspaper and magazines , I was involved with Japan 's local culture, which is so different from our Chinese traditional culture. Japanese usually go to the temple that on the top of the hill to pray for peace several times during a year. And the fish flag is also one of the most important forms to celebrate their festivals. The picture of fish flag intrigues me so much that I have the strong desire to go to Japan.


Finally, we can not deny that other kind of media, such as television can enable us to get more details when we learn about a foreign country. From the vivid pictures that television has presented, people may have better understanding and know a foreign country precisely. Nevertheless, outweighing the advantages and disadvantages of the newspapers and magazines have brought to us when we learn about a foreign country, I am prone to agree with that newspapers and magazines are the best ways to learn about a foreign country.

louisa427UID: 2458920

When it comes to the controversial issue that whether it is the best way to know about a foreign country from newspapers and magazines, Owing to the distinctive backgrounds and personal experience, divergent viewpoints will emerge. Some people would argue that it is convenient for us to learn about a foreign country in forms of reading newspapers and magazines. Other will hold the opinion that information that newspapers and magazines provide us is so limited that we can not get a better understanding about a foreign country. However, as far as I am concerned, newspapers and magazines can definitely satisfy our demands to learn about a foreign country. As I will discuss below.GRE模版气息好浓，但也不是什么坏事

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To begin with ,it is universally convinced that newspapers and magazines bring more convenience to us especially when we are learning about a foreign country. Nowadays, newspapers and magazines are two forms of medias that we are familiar with in our daily life. We usually can see one who is reading a/the newspaper or magazines while having breakfast or  on the bus. Reading newspapers and magazines,这句话我觉得可有可无，重点不是那么突出 of course, have become the most common way for people to obtain more information in their unknown area. They facilitate us to bring with so that we can read them in the places that we are fond of such as in the cafe, or even at home.这句话也和上面那句一样 For example, when I was an exchange student in Hongkong university, my professor gave me a assignment that learning about Japan within only one week. He also offered me some old newspapers and magazines which can of great assistance to my research into Japan. I brought these materials to the library and make great efforts to read them. I had to bring them with me all the time even I was having the meals because the time my professor had give to me is so short. Because they are easy to bring, I can read them for most of the time. The convenience that newspapers and magazines have brought to me attributes to the task completely accomplished on time. Therefore, reading newspaper and magazines can absolutely make us easier to learn about a foreign country.这段还有例子你是想突出杂志和报纸轻巧易于携带吗？不是那么扣题

Furthermore, the information that newspapers and magazines have provided to us in sufficient to learn about a foreign country. When we learn about a foreign country, the things that intrigue us most are the local custom and  local culture. It is easily for us to obtain those essential information by the description in the newspapers and magazines offer us. From the picture presented by the newspapers and magazines, we seem to have experienced their life styles that are different from our home country. Those pictures can also give us a feeling of being in a foreign country enjoying the pleasant that the foreign culture brings to us. For instance, During the time I study Japan country by reading the newspaper and magazines , I was involved with Japan 's local culture, which is so different from our Chinese traditional culture. Japanese usually go to the temple that on the top of the hill to pray for peace several times during a year. And the fish flag is also one of the most important forms to celebrate their festivals. The picture of fish flag intrigues me so much that I have the strong desire to go to Japan.这段很不错，陈述例子都很到位。
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Finally, we can not deny that other kind of media, such as television can enable us to get more details when we learn about a foreign country. From the vivid pictures that television has presented, people may have better understanding and know about a foreign country precisely.
Nevertheless, outweighing the advantages and disadvantages of the newspapers and magazines have brought to us when we learn about a foreign country, I am prone to agree with that newspapers and magazines are the best ways to learn about a foreign country.

看得出语言功底很强大啊，就是我认为第一段的方向有点偏了，是不是我理解有误？可以交流下哈

jiangskyskyUID: 2478960

34# louisa427
后来我想想，的确是偏了。以后碰到这种the most题死也不会写正面的。

jiangskyskyUID: 2478960

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? A job with more vacation time but a low salary is better than a job with a high salary but less vacation time

When it comes to the controversial issue that which kind of jobs is better for us, a job providing low wages but more vacations time or that with higher wages but less vacation time? Owing to the distinctive backgrounds and personal experiences, Divergent viewpoints will emerge. Some people will hold the opinion that the first kind of job is better because it enable us to have enough time to relax. Others would argue that the latter is better for the reason that they can purchase more favorite things with their high salary. For this, it deserves to sacrifice their vacation time. However, as far as I am concerned, there are more advantages from the job with more vacation but a low wages. The reasons are as follows.

To begin with, it is commonly believed that people who are in favor with of  the job with more vacation time can make better performance in their careers even though they may get a low salary. we can draw this conclusion from general principle that having enough rest is the foundation that one can accomplish his task well. We can not emphasize the importance of having enough rest too much when facing the onerous work .For that reason, it is obviously that more and more people intended to choose the job with more vacation time. For instance, I choose teacher as my job mainly because it can spare me more vacation time  to have a completely relaxation. Being a teacher, I can enjoy two vacations both in summer and winter so that I can make good use of this time to travel the places that I like, such as Beijing forbidden city and Hong Kong Disney park. Those places are I am dreaming to visit. The sufficient time for my vacation ensure that I can devote all myself to my work . Having enough rest making me full of energy render me to improve my working efficiency. In addition, job with more vacation can offer me a better emotional state while I am working. It is essential because better emotional state can also affect your performance on your work.


Furthermore, a job offering more vacation time provide us more leisure time to care about other important things. In addition to work, people have quantities of things to do in their life. Family members are well advised to be considered as a significant part of their life. It is their responsibility to spare enough time to stay with them. Less vacation time can not satisfy one’s  strong desire to stay with his/her family members. According to report on a statistics data, forty percent of the couples who have divorced  for the reason that the husband can not make a balance between the time that spent on work and the time consumed on his family members. For example, Alex who gets a job in the same company as me always tells me that his wife complains about his work. Because of the onerous work loaded on him, he works till very late everyday and has less vacation. He can hardly have enough time to stay with his wife and daughter. Therefore, a job with more vacation can not only make us feel at ease but also make our family members live a happy life.


Finally, there is no deny that job with more salary can satisfy our demands to purchase more goods that we are fond of. However, less vacation will cause more problems which can lead to great disorder in one’s life. Consequently, I am prone to agree with idea that a ob with more vacation time but a low salary is better than a job with a high salary but less vacation time.

swolf54UID: 2421931

When it comes to the controversial issue that which kind of jobs is better for us.doc (34 KB, 下载次数: 5)

2010-8-26 19:25:38 上传

下载次数: 5

伶女UID: 2797207

已修改～

jiangskyskyUID: 2478960

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Students should not take part-time jobs while they are studying in universities

When it comes to the controversial issue that whether students should take part-time job  during the time that they receive education in the university, owing to the distinctive backgrounds and personal experience, divergent viewpoints will emerge. Some people will hold the opinion that taking part time job can provide students more working experience from which they can benefit from in their later life. Others would argue that taking part time job will occupy a lot of time that the student original have to study. It distracts students' attention on their learning. However, as far as I am concerned, students can gain  a lot of knowledge and skills that they can not learn in the university by taking part time jobs. The reasons are as follows.


To begin with , it is inevitable to declare that taking part time job have provided  quantities of opportunities for the student to make good practice and broaden their prospective. The main purpose for most of students attending the college is to purchase a decent job after their graduation. The education that university has offered is focus on the academic research. Although it has something to do with improving one’s  ability, the courses are so limited. As the old saying goes" practice makes perfect", obtaining more practice outside the campus is considered significant to students' later development. so what is the best way to get more practice without left behind courses? The answer is definitely taking part time jobs.  Taking part time job enable the students to have a clearly understanding about  various kinds of job they are more fit for. The information that they collected during taking part time job will exert great positive effect on their later career. Therefore, it is no deny that taking part time job bring more advantages to the university's students.


Furthermore, taking part time jobs can reduce parents ' pressure on tuition fees and the expenses that students make. Students can pay part of their tuition fees with the money they have earned. Students in university can make a independent living and support themselves They can also use these sum of money to do some meaningful things such as donating the money to the charities who are in need of them. Take me as an example, just as some students in the university, I have to take part time jobs to pay for parts of the tuition fees that I owe to school. My family is not rich enough to afford mu tuition fees so that I determine myself to support my daily expense. In addition to the scholarship that I make great effort to get ,taking  part time job is another way I can obtain more earnings . Now I have got part time job as a teacher in a teaching company. Seldom do I ask for money from my parents.


Finally, we can not deny that taking part time job can make students in the university pay less attention on their learning. Under some circumstances, some students may get deeply involved with their part time job without caring about their basic learning in the university. They overestimate the importance of practicing neglecting the basic knowledge can skills that are of great assistant to them. Nevertheless, outweighing the advantages and disadvantages that taking part time job bring to students in the universities, I am prone to agree that students should take part time job while they are studying in universities.

superchaosUID: 2863434

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Students should not take part-time jobs while they are studying in universities$ Y- H  X  f1 m! Q9 {3 [8 q9 X
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When it comes to the controversial issue that whether students should take part-time job  during the time that/when they receive education in the university, owing to the distinctive backgrounds and personal experience, divergent viewpoints will(可以去掉) emerge. Some people will hold the opinion that taking part time job can provide students more working experience from which they can benefit from in their later life. Others would argue that taking part time job will occupy a lot of time that the student originally have/allocate to study. It distracts students' attention on their learning. However, as far as I am concerned, students can gain  a lot of knowledge and skills that they(去掉) can not be learnt in the university by taking part time jobs(放在句首做前置状语好些,不然有歧义……). The reasons are as follows.8 \1 P/ U+ _! ?& U4 x
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To begin with , it is inevitable to declare that taking part time job have provided  quantities of opportunities for the student to make good practice and broaden their prospectives. The main purpose for most of students attending the college is to purchase a decent job after their(去掉) graduation. The education that university has offered is to focus on the academic research. Although it has something to do with improving one’s  ability, the courses are so limited. As the old saying goes" practice makes perfect", obtaining more practice outside the campus is considered significant to students' later development. so what is the best way to get more practice without left behind courses? The answer is definitely taking part time jobs(……...我的意意思是,这一问一答好不自在..可以考虑去掉).  Taking part time job enables the students to have a clearly understanding about  various kinds of job they are more fit for. The information that they collected during taking part time job will exert great positive effect on their later career. Therefore, it is no deny that taking part time job brings more advantages to the university's students.& r3 `( ~+ H. {  i( @  K- i* _

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Furthermore, taking part time jobs can reduce parents ' pressure on tuition fees and the expenses that students make(别扭……). Students can pay part of their tuition fees with the money they have earned. Students in university can make an independent living and support themselves They can also use these sum of money to do some meaningful things such as donating the money to the charities who are in need of them. Take me as an example, just as some students in the university, I have to take part time jobs to pay for parts of the tuition fees that I owe to school. My family is not rich enough to afford my tuition fees so that I determine myself to support my daily expense. In addition to the scholarship that I make great effort to get ,taking  part time job is another way I can obtain more earnings . Now I have got part time job as a teacher in a teaching company. Seldom do I ask for money from my parents. , H3 u# t3 P) r3 }& f) j1 \, D) g

Finally, we can not deny that taking part time job can make students in the university pay less attention on their learning. Under some circumstances, some students may get deeply involved with their part time job without caring about their basic learning in the university. They overestimate the importance of practicing neglecting the basic knowledge can skills that are of great assistant to them(看很久没看懂……). Nevertheless, outweighing the advantages and disadvantages that taking part time job bring to students in the universities, I am prone to agree that students should take part time job while they are studying in universities.

楼主写的挺不错的,句子,词汇都没问题的..很流畅..唯一我想提的是:看来看去似乎就把一件事情翻来覆去的说...就是读下来,感觉不"饱满"(这算什么词汇?),比如你的第一个论点,提的挺好的,但是感觉后面展开的时候,正面说一下,反面说一下,在自问自答一下,最后总结一下,反正就是说这一个点...希望如果能深入的展开一下文章会显得更充实,比如你说的broaden their perspectives,你就实实在在的说下这些benefits,比如能让学生接触更多的人,更好学会从学校到工作的转变,或者能让阅历更丰富等……
其实我自己这个问题也很严重...我感觉如果咱们句子/词汇等没问题的话,想拿高分剩下的就是在结构上/论据上多下功夫了……呃。。本人水平有限...说的不好的地方恳请指正……共同进步~~~(:

bearseuUID: 2873933

27日的替你改好了

jiangskyskyUID: 2478960

When it comes to the controversial issue that whether the recognition of one's strength and achievements made by the influential people enable one to get a easier success, owing to the distinctive backgrounds and personal experience, divergent viewpoints will emerge. Some people will hold that influential people can evaluate one's ability better when they know about your strengths and accomplishments. Others will argue that individuals can achieve suceess without the help of the inflential people. Howeverm as far as I am concern, individuals benefit more from the influential people when they have better understanding about your strength and accomplishements.My reasons are as follows.


To begin with, in our modern society, competition become more and more drastic that only a simple job or low postion will attract hundreds of people to apply for. It is commonly acknowledged that the advice from the influential people can help one to become more competitive and outstanding. Only after fully understanding about one 's strength and achievements can the influential people offer one the most appropraite suggestion . For instance, the individuals who are not mature enough to accomplish their tasks often make some mistakes. They often feel annoying without thinking about a considerable solution. The influential people can help them even when knowing about the strengths of these individuals.


Furthermore, it is no doubt  that  knowing abourt one's strengths and accomplishment better contributes to a better estimation of one 's job. Everybody knows that what we find is not the best job but the job fits us the most. Therefore, the evaluation of one's strength and ability is of great importance for the influential people to decide which kind of job is best suitable for one. It is hard for us to imagine  what one will feel when he/she is arranged a job that he/she can not compete for. The work that one can not compete for, of course , throws one into a tough situation and bring him/her highly stresses.


Finally, there is no deny that some people achieve their success all by themselves. They have enough abilities to become boss but not the employee. Nevertheless, outweighing the advantages and disadvantages, I am prone to agree that  making sure that others know about your strengths and accomplishments can help you succeed.

estopUID: 2864494

8-30 独立 改

niunianUID: 2864048

8.30 独立，改了

jiangskyskyUID: 2478960

When it comes to the controversial issue that whether  governments  are well advised to draw more concerns about the health-care issues than environmental issues, owing to the distinctive backgrounds and personal experience, divergent viewpoints will emerge. Some people will hold the opinion that health-care issues have closely relationship with people's life. Others would argue that environmenl issues  should be paid enough attention to because it can cause other problems. However, as far as  I am concerned, goverments should care about environmental issues more. My reasons are as follows.


To begin with, environmental issues are the root causes of the healthy problems. It is acknowledge that the rapid development of the technology directly lead to numbers of environmental problems. The development of industry such as the building of the chemical factory defintely cause the air and water pollution in the city which enable people to get sick . And even worse cause people to death. For example, in my hometown located in the east part of China, it is a completely different picture of the city  nowadays comparing with that 10 years ago. In my childhood , the sky is blue and people in my hometown can listen to the songs of the birds almost everywhere. However, everything has changed now. The establishing of the factory make people difficult to live in this town. The factories send out the chemical materials everyday  which pollutes the air and water. It does great harm to people's health.


Furthermore, the environmental issue can give rise to other problems that are detrimental to our human beings and animals. It is obvious that more and more species and animals become endangered . According to a survey conducted by biology scientists, the pollution cause by the environmental issues contribute some way into the extinction of  seventy percent of the specises all over the world. The adversity of the specises is important for our human being to build a harmony relationship with the animals . Some specises exert positive effects on us.The pollution such as the air and water pollution cause the animals lost their habitat which may be the only place with the suitable environment for them to live in.


Finally, it is necessary for the governments to take all the factors into considerations and design a thoughtful plan to deal with the environmeantal issues.  Consequently, outweighing the negative effects that environmental issues bring to us, I am prone to agree that governments should pay more attention to health-care issues than environmental issues.