issue89

red98UID: 136466

89 "Leaders are created primarily by the demands that are placed upon them."

With the rapid development of modern communications, we can easily obtain the information about leaders in many fields such as business, politics, education, and research, etc.. Leaders are commonly regarded as a result of social demands. People think that it is the social demands that give persons chances to become true leaders. As a matter of fact, it is the other way around. Leaders lead people with their inner excellent traits.

A man with outstanding qualities can be a great leader. People with high quality can attract others and will be followed to perform a great task. Deng-Xiaoping, one of the most important people who influenced China and Chinese, was a great leader. When he was in his earlier ages, he was a respected general. He loved his soldiers and his troop was one of the best branches of Mao-Zedong’s military strength. Later he became the political leader of China. He carried out the policy of reform and opening and led Chinese to happiness and wealth. He loved his people. He opened the windows of China and let his people breath fresh air from outside. He created chances to meliorate people’s life. All Chinese love him, respect him and miss him. Deng is a great true leader. We can list a ton of examples from all kinds of fields. People who have outstanding traits can create chances to lead people and be true leaders.

On the other hand, a man without great character cannot be a qualified leader, although he can earn good chances. We can also find many examples to support it. There were many privately owned enterprises born in China mainland since 1980s. The first generation leaders of these companies have many outstanding qualities. They are extremely driven and dynamic. Mostly, they are production experts, marketing geniuses or skilled financiers, or even they excel at more than one skill. With these great leaders, the private companies had soared during the last 20 years of 20th century. Today, the first generation has been in their old ages and has to transfer their companies to next generation. Most of them lose energy soon. Some of them wrongly enter a new business field. They pour much money and have little returned. Some of them invested too conservatively to grasp good chance to strengthen them. Zero, a famous China survey company, reports recently that 70% of those companies have not reached the normal profit rate of all private companies in China mainland including 31% of them lose their investments. Zero’s further survey shows that 97% of those kinds of company are managed by the next generation of their founders and 80% of the new managers have no experiences regulating business. This is dangerous to China economy. The new generation of those private enterprises are given chance to invest, but they invest in their unfamiliar fields and lose the investigation. They are given the chance to manage the production, but they don’t know replace equipment and produce with very low efficiency. They are given chance to be leaders, but they have no specific character to lead their employees. Here we know that a man without great character cannot lead people and be a leader.         

To sum up, people become leaders because of their inner excellent traits. A man with good quality, like Deng, can create chances to lead his people and be a true leader. On contrast, a man without this kind of quality will lose the chances given  

587 words

paisleyUID: 64183

你混淆了一个小小的语法概念，people是person的复数，所以邓小平是一个person，而不是people.

改革开放最好说the Reform and the Opening  Up 感觉说邓的这段比较空，只是列举了他的政绩，没有具体说他的人格魅力和杰出才能在那里。

first- generation-leaders 这样写比较好

感觉文章举例比说理多，这样就不是很深入。其实你还可以说，领袖需要有charisma。这个就有很多话好说啊。

另外其实还可以分类。create一词说明是民选的，或者是默认的，那么古代世袭和暴力夺取的领袖地位，如何呢？

这样展开讨论就深入了

SMMUID: 106624

1．In your opinion, it is the inner excellent traits of a person that makes him or her to be a good leader. You support your statement with two paragraphs. But your supporting details are all focused on Deng Xia-Ping. Is this enough? I mean, you may expand your topic to include other examples.

2．The third paragraph is too long, I think. You may re-organize it.

3．In your end paragraph, you just repeat what you said in the first paragraph. You had better to re-write it again to make your writing more effective.

It's nonly my opinion, Please think yourself. I'm sorry I  did not check your writing details. I have to leave now.

red98UID: 136466

太谢谢你们了

bowing

paisley的思路非常开阔 我当时就没有想到“分类”  还是很难写深 积累不够
paisley修改得太细心了 指出了很多语法错误  
分析极具有启发性

SMM说得对 第三段没有控制好 写得so长 现场肯定没有那么多的时间  关于2，3两段只有第二段写邓的  
第三段写民营企业两代之间的transfer的  可能第三段很凌乱 误解了SMM

关于结尾段  一直搞不定
我觉得结尾段就是首段末尾 position的 一个同意改写


再次谢谢2位热心而准确的评论 受益良多 谢谢

keikogfyUID: 169157

很多人都举了邓小平的例子，所以我觉得最好换换