交作业

yangduotongUID: 2793236

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? If you do not make sure other people (especially influential people or your employers) know about your strengths and accomplishments, you will never get successful in life

In this society, humble have been excluded from the essential personalities. Numerous people assert that in order to achieve higher in the future, we should magnify our strength or show up our accomplishments. From my personal perspective, famous or be well-known could present more chances for individuals, while more often than not, be humble does not mean failure.

Originally, when company considering selling its products, they might choose the advertisement for branding. To assure that other people have known the merits of their products, most companies would invest a lot of money on media advertisement. I have to concede did work in some measures. To a huge extent, majority of companies would generate profits through this way, since it impressed the customers and more people incline to purchase the companies’ products.
Nevertheless, there is exceptional. No one could guarantee that when other people recognize his individual’s strength, he will become much more success than ever. Furthermore, no one would be perfect, that is to say, it would be difficult to conceal the weakness, even though the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. No illustrations could analyze my opinion more clearly than the stories of Hitler, the leader of Nazi in WORLD WAR 2. It can not be ignored that Hitler possessed the talent of war strategy and the potential of campus organization. Nonetheless, people would not adore him, since he is the representative of Evil, and the murder of millions of victims in WORLD WAR 2. As Kant has said, two things in this world awe me, the starry heaven above me, and the morality with me. Morality is serving an indispensible life of human, moreover, this factor distinct the animals and human beings. Concerning Hitler, the greedy had distorted his value the world, accordingly, lacking moral sentiment and accurate common human reasons render him as the most horrible and disgust guy in this world. Consequently, he failed, though countless people aware his talent, his capacity, and most of them even afraid of his ability.

As the evidence above demonstrated, making sure other people have know one’s ability or strength could not determine the future of the individuals, since the weakness will be unearthed though it has been concealed for a long time, and it might probably frustrate one’s career. Therefore, personally, statement claimed by the speaker is ridiculous and inconvincible.

guyuan0126UID: 2782408

改好了。
总体意见：第二段的论证与中心句相反。
麻烦楼主也帮我改下，谢谢！

dy008UID: 2284812

改。

yangduotongUID: 2793236

本来就是相反丫 先抑后扬。还有 我得怎样才能看到你的文章？？ 2# guyuan0126

yangduotongUID: 2793236

确实写完后都不知道自己在写什么 因为这个题目说 要成功必须让人知道 而且用了绝对性词汇：never 所以我必须反它 不过要举反例又特别不好找 3# dy008

guyuan0126UID: 2782408

https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... 6amp%3Btypeid%3D280
麻烦也帮我改一下，谢谢哦

yangduotongUID: 2793236

我已经帮你改了 但是怎么给你？？ 6# guyuan0126

yangduotongUID: 2793236

这是我的第一篇 请你看看 7# yangduotong

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Movies and TV programs made in one’s own country are more interesting than those made in other countries.
Since the second industrial revolution, movies and TV programs have become an indispensible entertainment and education subjects in our daily life. Some people asserts that the movies and TV programs made in their own country outweighs those in order countries. From my personal, perspective, I totally disagree with this claim.

Originally, the development of information communication has narrowed the distance between people around the world and improve he integration among people from different countries or ethnics. Moreover, more people realize that the extra-world is so interesting and attractive, and they have inclined to travel abroad. Majority of them, however, can not afford the great deal of expenditure. Thanks to the TV and movies, they could visit the different culture through the television, and the only things they have to do is just sit down in front of the screen and press the bottom on the controller.

Simultaneously, the TV programs generated by other countries provide chance for individuals to study another language. For instance, CNN and BBS have produced some special programs or website for people who desire to study English, or practice English. Channel V, one of the most well-known music TV programs, has attracted tens of thousands of youth who are favoring Jazz, rap and rock and roll. Some scholars believed that these kind of TV shows has become popular among countless non-English speakers, and that would improve their English in some measures.
Finally, providing that one could handle both his mother language and other languages, the factors which determine his preference would be the quality, the real meaning of TV programs, and the profound impact of the shows. Some channels have provided series of educational programs for audiences. Discovery, which contained knowledge in various fields, have been regarded as the most popular education program. Resembling an encyclopedia, people could found study of different animals, the research of solar systems and other planets, the construction of nuclear power plant etc in this program. Accordingly, the quality and the content of the movies or TV shows are playing an important role when people choosing the programs they like.

As the aspects above demonstrated, people will prefer the programs made in other countries, since they will help them get rid of ignorance about other countries or ethnics. To some extent, they might improve languages study of non-native speakers. Moreover, some of these programs are meaningful and beneficial for his audiences.

yangduotongUID: 2793236

8 14 谢谢各位看官。

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents should allow children to make their own choices rather than determine their children’s future for them



Should children restricted from choosing their own future by their parents, or just allow them to freely determine their career? Numerous people in present society devote to the latter. From my personal perspective, while parents should serve the role as the oriental-guide, they are supposed to reserve more space for their children in the resume to decide their future.

Originally, most success and prestige people, more often than not, has gown up in generous and motivated families, which has been considered as a key to successful children-education. This kind of educational methods has been accepted by majority developed countries. Especially in some western countries, children would not be compelled to focus single realm of courses by their parents, rather, they would be taught to obtain knowledge from various principles. “Do what you want to do” most parents would say this, in order to encourage his children to pursue the substances of themselves. Therefore, most children got the chances to develop their own favors. In contrast, the developing countries, nevertheless, do not apply this concept into their education methods, since the limitation of educational resources, and the inherited family notion, which indicate that focusing is the only way to success. Furthermore, countless parents would convince his children to abandon courses like music, art, or sports, on account of that they might frustrate the children’s attention on pure academic study. Without the freedom to make choices, apparently, children have resembled the bird tied by cores: They can fly, but can not fly further. Therefore, giving choices for students is warrant and necessary.

Let’s take a look at the realm of sport. Kobe Bryan, one of the most famous basketball players in this world, was used to doing great in his academic in high school. Moreover, he had got more than 1400 in SAT exam which definitely demonstrated his ability of study. Probably, he might become a well earned lawyer, or a wealthy doctor. However, his father did not restrict Kobe to focus on the area of academic, instead, he encourage Kobe Bryan to make his own choice. Without this generous and sensible father, Kobe could not play in NBA, could not win the crown in five NBA Final, and we can not have so much pleasure, when we turn on the sport Channel!

Finally, I have to concede, providing that parents extremely broaden the area for making choices, or even render the children become unscrupulous, then that would be a horrible failure. Violence, drugs, sexual videos, and strong words have spread among our daily life. Parents should be careful and alert, and they should not let our children succumb to these darkness. Thus, it is necessary for family to narrow the area of choices in a rational level.   

To sum up, as the evidences above illuminated, without choices for freedom, people could not develop their own capabilities. However, without sensible restriction, children would be easy to become abandon.

matlab007UID: 2865031

同学你打一枪换一个地方的？https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=1137148&extra=这个链接不是你10号开始的作文贴吗？我明明记得10号有传给过你修改的文章。突然在这张同名帖子里看不到了。囧。
总之。我是来提醒你要帮我改作文。10号的。四天了。

yangduotongUID: 2793236

8月10日交
09.07.25NA
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Movies and TV programs made in one’s own country are more interesting than those made in other countries.

10:17-

It’s undeniable that movies and TV programs are two major sources of entertaining in our daily life. Obviously, we may find that not only local TV programs and movies made in our own country but also those foreign shows enriching（enriches） our channels. When it comes to the comparison that which of them is more interesting, I personally prefer the former for the following reasons.

(建议在这里加上结构性的词汇
如 Originally/ firstly 因为你第二段用上了 Secondly)As a native Chinese, I prefer movies and TV programs made in China for there is no language obstacles for me in watching it. Understanding comes first（这句话的意思不应该这样写，不妨写成 Understanding serves as the primary key for numerous people.）. A Comedy would not have any sense of humor if you cannot understand it, except (especially) for mine (me). Therefore, only when movies and TV shows be able to communicate with audiences can they convey the interesting elements inside the program to people (who加了感觉好一点)watching them.
In addition, every country has it’s own slangs. Movies and TV programs like to use these slangs to express some interesting ideas. These slangs have distinctive linguistic character that only can be understood by people familiar with the language (这句话的语法有问题 我稍稍修改一下). （These slangs have distinctive linguistic character (这里开始加从句 )which can merely been understood by people familiar with the language.
）

Secondly, cultural background plays an important role in understanding the interesting part of movies and TV programs. Like the use of slangs mentioned above, these slangs contain historical stories and cultural knowledge.
（这个你似乎又绕到第一段去了）中心句应该明显一点。
Besides, the way the movie arranged and TV programs organized reflect the unique cultural trait of a country. There is always difference among the interesting fields of separate countries. From my own experience, I sometimes feel puzzle when I saw movies like “Friends”, especially when the movie comes to an interesting part and all the voiceover begin to laugh yet I still cannot figure out what is happening.

Admittedly, movies and TV programs made in other countries might provide something special and exotic, which seems interesting to those who are fresh to them. However I still believe that, with the help of language and cultural background, one can have better understanding to those media shows and find more interesting things.

总体而言
结构什么的还是清晰地
有几个小问题 1 语法有时用错 2 用词有点问题 3 衔接词有点没有很多变化。
加油，需要我改的话随时说。
  不好意思 最近一直忙于看论文 迟到了迟到了 呵呵 10# matlab007

wangboaliheUID: 2574394

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents should allow children to make their own choices rather than determine their children’s future for them( e  n+ U9 a! ^) X! r
7 H; ]# K" O8 E" w$ k3 a- @

' G$ O  J- K3 Q- y( K
) j% M  J$ G2 QShould children restricted（应该去掉d，还是少了be）
from choosing their own future by their parents, or just allow them to freely determine their career?（问句的形式很好，但是， 这句话我感觉有问题。 一个主语是children ，第二是你的意思是parents 。但是你没写parents，你可以加在just前加个parents 或者把第一句话改成主动形式） Numerous people in present society devote to the latter. From my personal perspective, while parents should serve the role as the oriental-guide, they are supposed to reserve more space for their children in the resume（没见过这样的表达）
to decide their future. 5 B)
d
Originally, most successful and prestigious people, more often than not, has grown up in generous and motivated families, which has been considered as a key to successful children-education. This kind of educational methods has been accepted by majority of developed countries. Especially in some western countries, children would not be compelled to focus on any single realm of courses by their parents, rather, they would be taught to obtain knowledge from various principles. “Do what you want to do” most parents would say this, in order to encourage his children to pursue the substances ?of themselves. Therefore, most children got the/不要 chances to develop their own favors. In contrast, the developing countries, nevertheless, do not apply this concept into their education methods, since the limitation of educational resources, and the inherited family notion, which indicate that focusing is the only way to success. Furthermore, countless parents would convince his children of abandoning courses like music, art, or sports, on account of that they might frustrate the children’s attention on pure academic study. Without the freedom to make choices, apparently, children have resembled the bird tied by cores: They can fly, but can not fly further. Therefore, giving choices for students is warrant and necessary.$sssss d5 j( C/ p, E
5 A3 o9 Z, Y! G
Let’s take a look at the realm of sport. Kobe Bryant, one of the most famous basketball players in this world, was used to doing great in his academic in high school. Moreover, he had got more than 1400 in SAT exam which definitely demonstrated his ability of study. Probably, he might become a well earned lawyer, or a wealthy doctor. However, his father did not restrict Kobe to focus on the area of academic, instead, he encourage Kobe Bryant to make his own choice. Without this generous and sensible father, Kobe could not play in NBA, could not win the crown in five NBA Final, and we can not have so much pleasure, when we turn on the sport Channel!) P6 a( b9 ~+ u5 y2 J- k( O3 E

. Q  s3 n  K' jFinally, I have to concede, providing that parents extremely broaden the area for making choices(两个相反？), or even render the children become unscrupulous, then that would be a horrible failure. Violence, drugs, sexual videos, and strong words have spread among our daily life. Parents should be careful and alert, and they should not let our children succumb to these darkness. Thus, it is necessary for family to narrow the area of choices in a rational level.   , g- J$ R  Q0 w1 n
8 j2 P( V" I, o8 ?2 H
To sum up, as the evidences above illuminated, without choices for freedom, people could not develop their own capabilities. However, without sensible restriction, children would be easy to become abandon.
有些地方看的不是很明白，不知道是我没见过这些句式还是什么的，第一段 你说无数人都都致力于此，下面给我种感觉好像是要 支持第一种， 结果一看， 是支持第二种， 其实你可以加个链接， 说，你也一样。 例外 while 我感觉不如用although。

第二段， 你是想说外国和中国的特点， 外国的可以自己选择，发展国家不是自己选择，但是我感觉你好像是在写，发达的国家有很多种方法成功，但是发展中国国家一般只有一种，
不错， 但是这个好像和你的主题有些偏离。  多种方法成功和选择没有必然关系吧。

其实你可以说， 外国鼓励自由选择，结果成就很多很多 科学成就 和 诺贝尔获得者， 而中国都是家长选择，大部分都不明白自己的兴趣 。很少人成功在自己的兴趣上。

整个第三段 就是个例子，我感觉有点长， 例子在观点后面就行了
第四段：I 承认那一段， 感觉写的和文章相悖， 前面还写鼓励了， 就突然写坏处了 其实我了解你的意思， 你想辩证的来说， 但是一般你想让你的文章更有说服力，你可以说尽管他有什么样的坏处，但是可以避免， 但是大部分还是好除大于坏处。
还有其他的就是，部分词汇和语法，问题，这个需要解决。

dandan17UID: 2812933

楼上的评价给我很多启发，现在附上我滴~~ 8 14 yangduotong.doc (30 KB, 下载次数: 2)

2010-8-15 21:03:36 上传

下载次数: 2

yangduotongUID: 2793236

你给我改的里面有 providing that 意思是 假如 if....
还有 最后那个abandon的意思是 放纵..不是动词/ 13# dandan17

yangduotongUID: 2793236

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? If you do not make sure other people (especially influential people or your employers) know about your strengths and accomplishments, you will never get successful in life5 N$ F) \2 r1 c* |



Depending on personal experience, personal type and emotional concern, we find that some people at the present society hold the idea that unless exhibit individual’s strengths and accomplishments, people would never be success in the future. From my personal perspective, nevertheless, I disagree with this assertion, and my point would be illustrated expressly through the following aspects.

Originally, I would concede that insuring people known one’s strengths would enhance one’s career in some measures, while it might knowledge the opponents also. Furthermore, the opponents would avoid confront with one’s strengths straightly, but focus on one’s weakness. Especially when rivaling with enemies in the war, the power of the weapons and the number of armies would be regarded as the top confidential projects. Providing that the enemies found these statists, they might acknowledge the real capability of their opponents and made the efficient strategies which might finally determine the war.  Therefore, it would be unreasonable and unwarranted to show out the personal strengths and accomplishments.

Simultaneously, making other people acknowledge one’s advantages and glorious experience was not the only way to lead people toward success, since the personalities as honest, devoted, and generous are serving indispensible roles. For instance, plagiarism, one of the most shame behaviors, has been becoming common in the field of academic. When professors in some certain realms have obtained enough experience, achievement, and prizes, they might become arrogant and arbitrary. What is worse, these disadvantages might nourish corruption and plagiarism that they would no longer write the essays or finish the experiments by themselves. Without the honest, and spirit of purity in academic, some of the professors could hardly achieve higher after series honors they have got. Accordingly, merely magnifying one’s individual experience and strengths would scarcely reach the goal, albeit it had captured numerous people’s attentions. The personalities are much more important.

Finally, keeping modest is playing a vital role in human personality. Naturally, people with great talents or glorious experience might suffer the jealousy. For example, there is no doubt that most people would not feel comfortable and relax when sitting with anyone who is boasting his conquest or achievement. Consequently, people might inevitably lose their chances for promotion and big raise because of the self-conceit, arrogance or even being hindered by people who envy them. In a word, keeping modest, and prevent the achievement or ambition being known would be an effective way for people to head to the final success.  


To sum up, as the evidences above demonstrated, it would be unacceptable and inconvincible to make sure other people to acknowledge one’s personal achievement. Moreover, amplifying one’s experience and honor would create some counterproductive that might restrain personal careers. Hence, retaining modest and keeping humble enough would be thorough and warranted.