issue17

lawUID: 131108

17"There are two types of laws: just and unjust. Every individual in a society has a responsibility to obey just laws and, even more importantly, to disobey and resist unjust laws."

Although many people believe that the law, whether it be just or unjust, is a unique tool which can conduct the action of the whole society and people, I strongly agree with the author’s assertion that the every common people should obey just laws and regulations and should disobey and resist unjust laws. Certainly, there is a growing public concerning over whether the law is just or not because no matter people or government all concentrated on developing a more democratic society. I would auger that a just law are built up gradually based on the process during which human being was striving for the independence.

In the first place, it is an undoubted fact that a just law, which the common people set up with their free will, can ensure that a democratic society is developed in its healthy way. At the personal level, the just laws provided every citizen’s civil rights so that every member in a democratic society could entitled by various rights such as educational rights which a child whether he or she is poor or wealthy would be able to go to compulsory school at the right age, and voting rights which a citizen whether he or she is a black or white would be able to vote for their trusty leader in the election, and the housing rights which prohibits discrimination in the sales, financing or rental of housing because of race, color, religion, sex, handicap, familial status, or national origin, and so forth. At the community level, a sound society system is provided by just laws and regulations in order to establish a secure and healthy society environments in which the people, teachers or students, engineers or doctors, workers or farmers, live and work every day. It is clearly, for instance, that a father could back to home safely to meet his dear son and daughter at every sunset, or that a shareholder could obtain the exact and precise business information from the targeted listed company or from the accounting firm to do the stocks transaction. At the global level, the just laws would provide fair and equal international environments of investment and commerce among the nations which accept the laws and regulations, and eliminate the trade barriers which derived from the difference trade standards. Only through the protection of the just law can a customer purchase a TV set made in Japan on China market, and a software producer could receive the payment according to the registered records at every region (where there are people who use it),.

In the second place, now that the just laws are in the name of the more merits, the unjust laws would be burden with some imputations. In general speaking, when a nation becoming a invader to implement the aggressive militaristic policy, when a company expanding to a monopolistic organization which can dominate the market, when a person growing up to an absolute free man who can follow his or her inclinations because of the defects of laws, we can ensure that the unjust laws must not only impede the society development but also blockade the people’s communication. In this case, in a society which people pursue the democratic life style, every individual has responsibilities to disobey and resist unjust laws.

Although everyone could lend the credible evidence to support that the just laws protect the people and community from various harm, and that unjust laws surely bring about the multifarious evil consequences, however, we have to recognize that the just laws has its negative aspect of the limited characteristic and the unjust laws has its positive aspect of the specific function.

To sum up, this issue is very likely controversy point that people will never be able to arrive at the absolute just laws, in other words, there is no real just laws and unjust laws because of the difference positions, religions, faiths, educations, life styles, and so on, among the difference people. The just laws and the unjust laws coexist together indeed now and forevermore. The laws should be fairness and justice during the process which people are struggling for the freedom and independence.

gteryyUID: 114434

Although many people believe that the law, whether it be（ing） just or unjust, is a unique tool which can conduct the action of the whole society and people, I strongly agree with the author’s assertion that the（the不要） every common people should obey just laws and regulations and should disobey and resist unjust laws. Certainly, there is a growing public concerning over whether the law is just or not because no matter people or government all concentrated on developing a more democratic society.（这句看不懂） I would auger（？？？） that a just law are built up gradually based on the process during which human being（s） was（were） striving for the independence.
第一段其实到Certainly就可以结束了。后面有点罗嗦，又不知所云。如果你有很急切的论述想法，不妨放到下一段。

In the first place, it is an undoubted fact that a just law（a piece of law/the law）, which the common people set up with their free will, can ensure that a democratic society is developed（developing） in its healthy way. At the personal level, the just laws provided every citizen’s civil rights（provide这个词，好象可以provide sb. with sth./provide sth. for sb.） so that every member in a democratic society could （be）entitled by various rights such as educational rights which a child whether he or she is poor or wealthy would be able to go to compulsory school（这俩词放一起实在是。。。school多美好呀，怎么成了强迫的了？） at the right age, and voting rights which a citizen whether he or she is a black or white would be able to vote for their trusty leader in the election（×）, and the housing rights which prohibits discrimination in the sales, financing or rental of housing because of race, color, religion, sex, handicap, familial status, or national origin, and so forth. At the community level, a sound society system is provided by just laws and regulations in order to establish a secure and healthy society environments in which the people, teachers or students, engineers or doctors, workers or farmers, live and work every day. It is clearly, for instance, that a father could back to home safely to meet his dear son and daughter at every sunset, or that a shareholder could obtain the exact and precise business information from the targeted listed company or from the accounting firm to do the stocks transaction. At the global level, the just laws would provide fair and equal international environments of investment and commerce among the nations which accept the laws and regulations, and eliminate the trade barriers which derived from the difference trade standards. Only through the protection of the just law can a customer purchase a TV set made in Japan on China market, and a software producer could receive the payment according to the registered records at every region (where there are people who use it),.
你不觉得这样的句子which a child whether he or she is poor or wealthy还有whether he or she is a black or white很罗嗦吗？你应该想办法使它简短一些。
你这段主要是论证前半句为什么要遵守合理的法律是吧？用了不同的群体做排比这很好，可是说理太少了呀？仅仅是你设想的一些例子，而且仅是生活中的几种事件，涉及面小了点。可以从法律对保护个人财产和安全、保障社会正常运行等方面来论述一下合理法律的正确性。
In the second place, now that the just laws are in the name of the more merits, the unjust laws would be burden with some imputations. In general speaking, when a nation becoming（为什么用分词形式？） a invader to implement the aggressive militaristic policy, when a company expanding to a monopolistic organization which can dominate the market, when a person growing up to an absolute free man who can follow his or her inclinations because of the defects of laws, we can ensure that the unjust laws must not only impede the society development but also blockade the people’s communication. In this case, in a society which people pursue the democratic life style, every individual has responsibilities to disobey and resist unjust laws.
这段就是说人们为什么要打破非合理法律吗？太没有说服力了。

Although everyone could lend the credible evidence to support that the just laws protect the people and community from various harm, and that unjust laws surely bring about the multifarious evil consequences, however, we have to recognize that the just laws has its negative aspect of the limited characteristic and the unjust laws has its positive aspect of the specific function.

To sum up, this issue is very likely controversy point that people will never be able to arrive at the absolute just laws, in other words, there is no real just laws and unjust laws because of the difference positions, religions, faiths, educations, life styles, and so on, among the difference people. The just laws and the unjust laws coexist together indeed now and forevermore. The laws should be fairness and justice during the process which people are struggling for the freedom and independence.
总之感觉你这篇文章不是太好，不如以前的好。主要问题是审题不是很透彻。我不反对你AGREE这条题目，可你论述没有深度。事实上，法律的just和unjust不是绝对的，它总要以牺牲一部分人的利益为代价。什么是unjust？对于强盗、小偷，现行的法律就是unjust的，那他们是不是需要团结起来打破呢？对于过去的黑人来说，奴隶制就是unjust的，可是他们有力量打破吗？这还取决于当时国家的政体等等。这条题目也是一条一直有争议的题目，建议你看一些这方面的素材然后结合自己的思考写出些道理和观点。

文章很长，700多字了吧。感觉是华而不实，没什么吸引眼球的内容，说着一些平时都看到的现象。你应该要把这些现象背后的实质写出来。还有句子也注意变换，不要老是一个定语从句用到底。这篇文章你自己也一定没有好好读过修改过，我能看出来。简单的错误我就不说了，你自己改。还有就是注意一些词的习惯用法，不要可数不可数的，及物不及物的混淆。再好好加油吧。

lawUID: 131108

我现在正处于一个转型阶段，我自己的认为。很痛苦，关于写作。我会认真参考你的修改意见。继续努力，谢谢！
law

gteryyUID: 114434

转型？蜕变？呵呵

多多参与讨论，可以使你思路开阔。